I feel like a TOTAL FAILURE!!!

[beachbum0519 0]

Hello,

Okay, it's been quite awhile since I was last here so I'll give y'all the background info.

I had the surgery Feb. 12th, 2008 and I haven't lost ANYTHING! I was soooo excited about having this surgery, I mean I was EXTREMELY HAPPY to have something help me with my weight. SOOOOOO why have I not used it properly like I should? I have only had 2 fills but I can still eat whatever I want to (except sometimes I get that sliming thing, so I'm wondering if I should even get another fill). My biggest problem is that I don't exercise. That has ALWAYS been my biggest issue and I still can't get motivated to do it now.

I'm so frustrated with myself I could scream. What happened to my eagerness? What happened to my "I CAN DO" attitude?? I really just want to cry. I'm suppose to go see my surgeon this Thursday and I am utterly embarrassed b/c I STILL haven't lost anything. I really don't want to go. She doesn't have any bedside manners and is down right rude and intimidating but I'm stuck with her for at least 3 more months b/c I get my fills free through her. I really don't want to go (and I'm wondering if I should go since I'm still sliming on stuff). I don't eat alot but I also eat whatever and don't exercise.

To top things off, I think I might be pregnant. Oh man, there are going to be sooo many people pissed off if I am. I won't find out for sure until the end of this week. I'm so lost.........

[Hastings 3]

Sliming can be caused by taking too big of bites and/or not chewing enough. It isn't just caused by being too tight.

Get a preg test. Go see your doc. You don't need manners from her, you need medical advice. Ask if she has a counselor or a nutritionist. It's up to you.

[coolcrystal 1]

Hey girl, didn't your doctor also mess up on your first surgery? I think that was you who said that. I thought then you should just switch doctors.

It says you've lost 24 lbs, and that's not bad. That's more than the 5 pounds a month my doctor requires.. So, don't beat yourself up. Everybody loses differently. There are some Victorious Valentines who've lost 50 and 60 and some who've lost 15.. we are all on different paths.

Also, if you are pregnant, and if you were wanting a child, who cares what others think or if they get pissed off. I have a friend who got banded and pregnant 6 months later... she had a healthy baby boy and got her fill after she nursed and has lost a lot of weight. She just picked back up where she left off. You got this for you, not to please others.

Good luck sweetie. And we miss you on our monthly board.

[Big Dan 2]

No matter about the other stuff but get some exercise! It is one of the hardest things to motivate yourself to do but without it you will not get anywhere near as healthy as you will if you just do it. And if you are pregnant you better get in shape now because that little one won't take it easy on you because you are out of shape.

As far as the sliming goes, are you taking small bites and chewing really well? If not, then you can't assume you are already too tight. Follow the rules and see if you see a difference. I don't mean to sound like I'm being pushy, but you have to at least give it a try before counting it a failure. We're all pulling for you!

[beachbum0519 0]

Oh no, Y'all aren't being pushy. That's why I came back here b/c I need a good swift kick in the pants!!! By all means.....

Yes, I'm the one who's Doc screwed up the 1st surgery. You are looking great BTW!!! I'm pretty much stuck with this one until my free fills are over, then I will look for another one.

If I am pregnant, then we will be happy (especially DH) b/c this will be our first but I do want to at least get into a walking routine b/c I don't want to gain back what little bit I have lost. (Possbily being pregnant is another reason why I'm kinda hesitant about going to see my surgeon, at least until I know for sure if I am or not). If I am, once the baby is here, then I'll pick up where I left off but I'm just ashamed that I wanted something SOOOO Badly and I've just let that go, just like I always do. It's really frustrating and I know I have nobody to blame but myself! That's the real kicker....

[HeatherO 7]

Sounds like you could really use another fill . . . unless you are indeed pregnant :0). If you are not pregnant, you should go in as soon as possible to get the next fill so you can get the most out of the period before your fills are no longer free.

If you are pregnant, I have read a lot of the pregnancy threads and the band seems to help most of us bandsters keep from gaining huge amounts during the pregnancy. It also seems like people get right back on track with a fill post delivery. You may find that even if the timing was not what you may have wanted so soon after surgery, you may end up with a much better pregnancy than if you had not been banded.

When you are at good restriction, the band doesn't allow you to just do your own thing and forget about the rest (unless you are eating slider foods).

Good luck to you and please let us know how things are going.

[Daisalana 33]

First off, if you are pregnant the weightloss needs to go on the backburner for now. Don't keep getting fills (if yer preg) till your doc gives you the go-ahead.

If you're not, you need to get your fill levels checked. Free or not, you may want to go to someone who will do it under fluero so you can find out if you're sliming due to being too tight, or sliming due to eating too big of bites.

I'm too tight right now, and weight loss is slowing down.. it could be a number of things, one of which being it's so hard to eat normal food I really eat a lot of junk & crap right now.

And if your doc is pushy and intimidating, just remind yourself when you go that it's only a few more visits, and screw what they think.. they work for you!!

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

If you aren't preggers the great thing is you can start over with the band! I don't care who you are you can recommit to the band and start over if you aren't where you want to be.

I hate exercise too, with a passion but I hated being fat even more. It is a damn good trade! You can do this and you can make it work. There is no reason to accept failure! It is way to damn soon to throw in the towel!

[Roc 0]

Hi..I can totally relate to you! I am feeling the same thing, except I was banded July 07 and only have lost a total of 40 lbs! I know part of it is me...I need to seriously seek group counseling or something to get me going again..to feel as excited as I once was when I got banded. Overall, I have managed to keep the weight off, but I know I should be losing weigh more!!!!

Tell me how you do and what you plan to do maybe it will inspire me!

Roc

[MerryHearted 20]

Don't be too hard on yourself ... without enough fill, it's just like regular dieting. Motivation fades because it's hard, especially if the weight isn't coming off. That's how we all ended up banded to begin with.

So if you aren't pregnant, try that next fill and see if it makes a difference in turning off your appetite. Small bites, chew to goo... and go for it! :sad:

[2008er 0]

Beach, Bum, it appears that YOU are the reason I came back on this board today. We are sympatico...

I was banded March 17 this year. Lost about 20 lbs quickly, mostly because I was just drinking during surgery recovery (duh - no calories = weight loss). Started reg foods and weight loss stopped. Dead. In. Its. Tracks.

Gained 2lb back.

I was (am) exactly as you describe. Fought like hell for this band in the first place (denied by ins, appeal, denied again, appealed, scheduled for hearing, wrote another major plea backed up by tons of research, finally approved. Lots of work, and now what have I done with it????). Feel like a HUGE (in so many ways) LOOOOOOSER.

I have a band buddy at work. She was banded 2 mo before me. She's lost over 60 and going strong. Me? Nada.

I also went through the sliming stuff (baaaaad experience on a bus trip. Not easy to make yourself gak in a bus toilet. Lordy be. Figured it was karmic payback for being lazy w/the band work I know I need to do). It DOES NOT mean you are too tight, necessarily. I was making bad choices (I do love my carbs), and I take bites that are too big and swallow too quickly. My biggest challenge w/this is that I tend to take the same size bite I took pre-band, but I know I need to chew chew chew. Unfortunately, I'm quite social during meals, so I like to talk, too. Therefore, i tend to speed up my chewing and swallow quickly so I can contribute to the convo. Big mistake. I need to regularly tell myself to either shut up or take smaller bites. It's a whole new discipline for me.

I would suggest going in and talking to your dr. If you're like me, you have a huge sense of shame about needing help with this. With so many folks out there seemingly gliding along to onederland, here we are sitting like bumps on pickles. Our fabulous motivation got us nowhere thus far. Go anyway. Suck it up. Aks for help. You ARE NOT the first nor last person in this situation.

Also, about exercise. I was just talking to my therapist about that this week. I KNOW I need to do it. I KNOW how great I feel in a routine. I KNOW it energizes me more than my giant daily iced coffee ever can. So WHY oh WHY am I NOT doing it??? She had good advice: stop spending your time analyzing why you're not doing something, and just do it. For even 5 minutes. Walk. Stretch. Breathe deep. DO something. Enlist a buddy, if that heps you. Join a class, if that helps you. ASK for help.

So, I did. I asked my 10 yr old daughter if she wanted to go for a walk. Just us. She BEAMED. We went, and while we walked, she said how much she liked spending that time with just me (we usually do things with both her and her 12 yr old sis). I asked if she wanted to do it more often. She beamed again (gotta love kids). So, now she's nagging me to get out and go. A great motivator.

And take a break from smacking yourself around - you're HERE, asking for help, right? That's a great step. I've been hiding out for the same reasons (getting the occasional prompting form the computer saying, "Hey, haven't seen you on the forums...". Felt so guilty. Felt stupid. Felt like a failure.

But TODAY is a new day. You are here. I am here. We CAN do this. We ARE doing this. Make an appt. Take smaller bites. Get moving, even a little.

Want to help each other? I think we really can...

~katie

(oh, and did you find out about the preggy status yet? that will certainly dictate your next steps as well...)

[HeatherO 7]

Did you see your surgeon yesterday? Any results on being preggers?

I am just curious how everything went yesterday. I hope it is going a little better for you.

[lena23 0]

What is so great to me about the lapband is that if you mess up, you can always start over to get on the right track again, but it will take time. Lapband is not a quick fix!! I look at it as a tool to get healthier. I'm able to eat anything but now I do really Portion Control. If I eat out, I do only eat half. I'm one of the people that have to sip Water thru straw with eating because that was one habit that I could not break. I'm not an exerciser either but I have found that if I walk those 30 minutes a day that it really helps if I cheat. I fit those 30 minutes in NO MATTER WHAT!! I haven't slime so far and really do not want to experience that. I wish everyone the best in their WL journey!!:smile:

Lena23

[sheilamj1fan 2]

What is so great to me about the lapband is that if you mess up, you can always start over to get on the right track again, but it will take time. Lapband is not a quick fix!! I look at it as a tool to get healthier. I'm able to eat anything but now I do really Portion Control. If I eat out, I do only eat half. I'm one of the people that have to sip Water thru straw with eating because that was one habit that I could not break. I'm not an exerciser either but I have found that if I walk those 30 minutes a day that it really helps if I cheat. I fit those 30 minutes in NO MATTER WHAT!! I haven't slime so far and really do not want to experience that. I wish everyone the best in their WL journey!!:smile:

Lena23

Thanks so true, it is also a REMINDER that we can not eat as we did before. So hang in there!!!

Be blessed!