Anyone else noticed?

[Manatee 4]

Amen!

After being accused endlessly for month of being skinny, ugly, unattractive, anorexic and addicted to exercise, I gave up on the forums. I pop back now and then but to be blunt, no one wants to hear what I am saying anyway, so why bother?

If the newbies want to live in happy kitty flower land, let them. This mean skinny, ugly anorexic won't bother them. :thumbs_up:

You know, once upon a time I didn't get where you were coming from during that debate. I may actually have said negative things to you. If I did, I apologize -- because I now fully understand where you're coming from.

This place, despite the "life at goal' forum, is no place for those of us who have worked hard and had success. :thumbs_up:

Recovering alcoholics have their spaces, recovering druggies have their spaces, but there's apparently no place for us recovering fatties. It's a shame, because I'll always be an obese person in remission. Where do I go??

[Chickie 15]

You know, once upon a time I didn't get where you were coming from during that debate. I may actually have said negative things to you. If I did, I apologize -- because I now fully understand where you're coming from.

This place, despite the "life at goal' forum, is no place for those of us who have worked hard and had success. :thumbs_up:

Recovering alcoholics have their spaces, recovering druggies have their spaces, but there's apparently no place for us recovering fatties. It's a shame, because I'll always be an obese person in remission. Where do I go??

It's cool. I have a short memory. If you did stand on the other side of the fence during that debate, I don't remember. Life's too short to hold a grudge anyway.

One thing I *am* glad about, is that it wasn't just me being a drama queen (not that I am not prone to the odd tanty). That this really does exist, and it's not just my imagination.

Yep, it's sad that people (general people, I have no one in mind when I say this) don't want to hear from people who have been there, and done that. But the reality of that is, it is *them* who miss out. I don't gain anything by posting here. So when I get attacked for getting the one thing we are all here for, it's easy to move on without too much pain.

One thing I do take issue with is when people say "Everyone who is at goal is out living their life" when it isn't the case. People at goal get chased off. Sad as it is.

And as an aside... My internet usage hasn't changed a great deal since hitting goal 2 years ago, so that argument for me at least is pretty silly. I don't post here a lot because what I have to say is not popular, or very welcome.

[libra 13]

Personally, I hate the idea that those at goal are not appreciated for their advise and wisdom. You did it! You achieved what we all strive for. I'm not jealous because I know you worked your asses off to get to that point.

Jachut, I would be thrilled to be as thin as you! Ugly, my ass! Your avatar should be a symbol to all of us of what we can accomplish.

When coming to a forum, everyone has to keep in mind that it takes all kinds and personalities. You need a somewhat thick skin as you may not like what you're told. When you ask for advice on a forum, you'll get it. The point is to share thoughts and ideas.

I think its important to remember that those at goal have a wealth of advice they can offer to those still on our journeys.

[Ninja 0]

Chickie and Jachut and others at or near goal who may be reading but not posting, I just wanted to say that I think there are many more of us who have a realistic view of what this process takes and respect and appreciate your efforts to inform and advise. Perhaps we're the silent majority, the people who would never post a complaint about how the band isn't working because, well, I know how the band works and I know that if it isn't working it's because I'm not making the decisions that make it work. I think there are probably many more people like us on here than there are people looking to be coddled and told that whatever they want to do is okay, and perhaps we should try to be more vocal. Please don't let the fact that some people are unable to look past themselves or to accept that they actually have to work at this make you think your contributions aren't valued.

I think the larger question is why are we (as fat people) so self-defeating and so unable or unwilling to see that things can be different? I'm still pretty new at all this, and therefore hardly an expert, but I'm amazed at the extraordinary lengths some people go to in order to avoid a mirror being held in front of their faces. What is it that we're so afraid to see? What is it that keeps us from accepting that finding reasons to blame the band for our failures won't make a damn bit of difference if we still die from obesity? Your gravestone won't say "She died at 40 but it wasn't her fault because her band didn't work." It is your fault, or at least your responsibility, whatever hand you were dealt and whatever issues you have going on.

[Great2BThin 5]

Amen!

After being accused endlessly for month of being skinny, ugly, unattractive, anorexic and addicted to exercise, I gave up on the forums. I pop back now and then but to be blunt, no one wants to hear what I am saying anyway, so why bother?

If the newbies want to live in happy kitty flower land, let them. This mean skinny, ugly anorexic won't bother them. :thumbs_up:

I'm a fairly newbie, 3 weeks post op, we aren't all like that!! I love the advise that you, Jachut, and others at goal have to offer. And I love the bluntness of it. I'm sick and tired of the I'm only 3 days out and I cheated posts. Or worse, the I cheated preop. It may not be politically correct to speak the frank honest truth but sometimes it's very needed. So please keep 'bothering'. I appreciate all of it!

[Froggi 4]

The advise the people at goal give is amazing. I love them <3333333

[Jesusislove 26]

Orginally, this thread was about people eating the wrong things after they have just had the LB surgery. I read a thread once that someone tried to eat Mcdonald's chicken nuggets a couple of days after surgery, this is not acceptable, and to add dangerous. I think support and encouragement should be given before and after the post op stage, but if you stray too far you need some "tough love." My two cents, I read this board for 4 mths prior to surgery and I am thankful to God that there were very helpful people on this board.

Edited June 28, 2008 by LLPlady3

[fatme 0]

i can't speak for everyone but before you first adjustment there is alot of space & the food they tell you to eat does not satisfy most people & since you don't yet have the restriction it is very easy to eat what you're not suppose to remember if it was so easy just to eat what we should we wouldn't need surgery to begin with we have to learn an entirely different way of looking at food, like any addiction relapse is a part of recovery

[Gracey 7]

I'm pre-op. I had my nutrition class Thurs and there was a woman who I just knew was going to cheat and/or fail. She didn't know that we couldn't have soda, caffeine, et al, and kept shaking her head and acting negatively.

I did mention LBT.com and said that I'd read a lot and had gotten great information. (She's like one of my gf's that just wants a pill.) It's unfortunate but I really do think she's going to have probs with the band but I suppose that her row to hoe, not mine.

I hope our "older" LBT'ers aka "skinny bishes" stay around and keep giving the tough love we need! (And yes, I am completely jealous of your new figures!!)

As in our regular lives, put the haters on ignore and just be you/y'all! :tt2:

[snowbird 2]

There's a difference between eating what you are not supposed to in the three weeks post op, and eating what you are not supposed to after you return to solid foods but before you have good restriction. The second is temporarily harmful to your weight loss efforts, but the first is harmful to your health and the ultimate success of your band. Please don't be confused between the rants concerning people eating chicken nuggets three days post op and the ones concerning those bandsters four weeks out who are not making good food choices. When we rant about the liquid diet cheaters, we are desperately concerned about their health and the health of other newbies who might read what they say and think it is okay to cheat that soon after surgery.

[shabbyshug 0]

Why does this suddenly feel like a Saturday Night Live skit?

[heartfire 4]

First I want to say that all of you who have been at this longer than I have and have had success in your new lives are heroes to me. I want to learn all I can from you so I don't mess up. And after my surgery, if I get on here crying about being hungry and wanting to EAT something, I expect a kick in the butt and a whole bunch of "no, don't do it" b/c I WILL listen and will be asking for that little extra help to get me where I need/want to be as a successful bandster. I can talk big about how I'm going to follow all the rules, and I WILL, but I know it's going to be hard and I'm going to need that extra push to get through it.

Second, I've been reading a lot the last few days re: R&R and Mental Health, Etc. I've managed to keep my mouth shut for awhile now but today is the final straw.

Brandy/Nanook, stop stalking Jacqui!!! You are, at this point, the one who keeps bringing all of this up, or starting it AGAIN after it's started dying. I find myself supporting Jacqui, Chickie and Lauren, albeit, previously, quiet. ENOUGH ALREADY!! I'm sick of Jacqui having to constantly defend herself when in the VERY beginning, she never said anything offensive! She was speaking about herself and YOU are the one who took it and ran, making it a personal attack against you. In her OWN thread on R&R she didn't even mention your name at first, she was generalizing and there you show up and jump down her throat again. If you have that big of a problem with Jacqui, then WHY do you keep going back to her? Why can't you just let it go?

It's sad if things on this board make you cry. That's something inside yourself. You don't even KNOW these people! They shouldn't have that much power over you.

Pick yourself up off the floor and get on with your life and other parts of this board. Block Jacqui and anyone else you don't agree with and move on. They are trying to, you are not.

Oh and if you'd just kept quiet, lots of people would not have realized Brandy and Nanook were one and the same. You could have had your new start but again, you couldn't let it go.

'Nuff said.

[Froggi 4]

Chickie your story is so inspiring, so is everyone's who has been fighting the weight with their bands for years.

I get a lot of inspiration from all of you guys, it's nice to actually see in the long run, if you do what's needed, eat right, try your hardest, exercise, and are determined, that you can defeat this horrible disease of obesity.

I love you guys so much

And I understand a lot of what Jacqui says, a lot of what she says is very inspiring aswell and tough love, this band isn't going to be your friend if you don't treat it right.

Jacqui you are very wise, as well as a lot of other long-time bandsters on this forum.

[Jachut 487]

I feel as if here is where I must admit I ate about half a block of chocolate yesterday and no dinner!

I am no saint. We're not supposed to be. Its fine to fall off the wagon but sheesh, in the first week or two?

I hope nobody confuses tough love with me being absolutely faultless coz I'm not. I've got a sore throat today and I probably wont go for a run either.

Falling off the wagon isnt the real problem, its picking yourself back up that makes all the difference. For which, I really dont understand why we need thousands of posts about this. Just do it people. Say to yourself "I shouldnt have done that" and move on.

Its what I do and yeah, it does work!

[Froggi 4]

A simple mistake and it's over!!! Heck with the way you look you have the right to eat a piece of chocolate!!! hehe