Did I lie?

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

Today at church a sister approached me and mentioned how good I look and that it looked like I had lost a lot of weight. Well, that made me feel so good! But then she and another sister asked me how I did it. Well, I told one person in my ward, but didn't really feel like I wanted to share with anyone as to getting surgery. I told them I did it with Portion Control and exercise, which is TRUE, but not TRUE. You know what I mean? Now I'm feeling really bad, like I lied. And at church! I don't know, maybe I just need to get over it... I mean, I didn't want to be rude, but I don't feel like telling anyone about the surgery.

[ilse72 0]

I know what you mean but, really, is it anyone's business but yours? And, you did tell the truth, just not the entire truth.

I am wondering how I will deal with this when the time comes. I told only a few people that I was considering this and the reaction I got was SO negative that I already told my husband that I don't think I will tell anyone once I do have a lapband. My husband is the one who told me that it isn't anyone's business. To just smile and say that I worked hard at it.

Now isn't that the truth? You worked hard by following all the rules of exercise, Portion Control, Protein intake, etc. Remember, it is noone's business but yours so it is yours to share only with who you want to tell. Congrats and good luck!

[Tomasa 0]

I understand how you feel....I would be thinking about it all day too. But, I dont think you lied....you just didnt tell them the entire story. God knows what is in your heart and that is all that counts.

[Shinyhappymommy 2]

I have a very sensitive conscience. It would bother me to no end! LOL I wasn't sure how many people I was going to tell about my surgery, but I ended up missing two Sundays in a row. My seven year old reported to anyone that asked, "She's not better from her weight surgery yet." So, when I got back, everyone knew. I don't mind. Somehow I have yet to encounter anyone who has been anything but kind and supportive.

In fact, whenever anyone asks me how I've lost weight I'm glad to tell them I had weight loss surgery. I think if I had known someone who had been successful with the LapBand earlier in my life I would have been more likely to pursue it myself and I would have had some more active and healthy years. I just hope that as I'm telling people that someone might be helped by it.

Just last Sunday a less active sister who hadn't seen me in a couple of months came up and commented that I looked like I'd lost a lot of weight. I replied that yes I had. She asked me how I did it and I told her. She's certainly a band candidate herself, but she also has a quadriplegic son who is over 300 and outgrowing his wheelchair. She seemed interested for both of their sakes. I let her know I'd be happy to talk to her about it sometime if she has questions.

I have a funny and embarrassing story about telling people. We lived in St. Louis for about 4 years while my dh was in graduate school. I got an email from a good friend to update me on her new email address and the goings on in her life. I got brave and figured I'd tell her about my surgery and weight loss, etc. I gave her the link to my blog that so far has only been given to close friends and family. Immediately after sending it off, I started getting delivery failure notices! My heart sank as I realized I had just hit reply all. She must have emailed about 100 people about her new email address. I immediately sent another note saying oops, I had only meant for the one person to read that email. Then I started looking over the list of people. So many people from our ward during the four years we lived there were listed on it. Some of them dear friends, but others were people I wouldn't have had a conversation with about my wieght. I did get several nice emails from good friends that I hadn't told about it, telling me they were glad for my misclick. I'm not secretive at all about my surgery, but I wasn't planning on shouting it from the rooftops quite yet.

[mzreeda 1]

you didnt lie some one at church asked me the same thing but before i can answer she said who is he?? aint that about ah*&%$ like thats the only time i can loose weight if a man around ( never did before ) but anyway she ask me what i was doing? i told her walking with the lord and minding mine! i know that might be mean but hey she asked for it and the truth is i did pray for this..and i pray that i finish my mile a day so hey i am walking with the lord AMEN?..lol sorry its late im being silly but if some ask at church just tell them its personal and thank them for the comp' and smile.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

All these comments help. When I first got into the ward, this woman approached me about a weight loss juice she said a bishop from Utah sold her. I was in shock that she would just approach any old fat person to talk to them about this. I didn't even know who she was, and all she knew about me was that I was fat. She made a bad comment about WLS and I guess since then I've been scared to tell people I'm not really close with. I did tell one person, and I feel comfortable enough to tell another, but just random people in church... I'm just not there yet. After the encounter with her, I spent the next two hours crying my eyes out to my sisters on the phone in the parking lot.

I should use that line though....

Them: "Wow, you've lost a LOT of weight, what's your secret?"

Me: "Oh, just walking with the Lord"

Then we'll have have a giggle cause it's a funny response and we'll move on.

Edited June 17, 2008 by MrsFlipFlops
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[Gone4Now 4]

I think you're okay...If you feel really bad, perhaps you can tell the sisters about it - maybe have them for dinner one night(?), but also mention that's it's personal and you'd rather not discuss it at church.

The sisters that I've had contact with are wonderful and understanding enough to accept that. (I'm not mormon, actually, but love the sisters from the local ward and often had them over for dinner. They've moved on, but we still keep in contact. They are the lovliest people on Earth.)

[mzreeda 1]

lol thats so true so get ya walk on!

[Choromom 0]

You did not lie.You have lost weight with Portion Control and exercise! You can find multiple posts on this forum that show that just having the band doesn't make the weight fall off! Any more information than that is not anyone else's business until you are ready to share it. Maintaining personal privacy is not lying.

[slimandhealthy09 0]

Its really only your business. AND...It is Portion Control and exercise...I say keep it to yourself and fee good about it!

[rnvegas 0]

I know think that you lied but why do you not want to tell people about the surgery? It is a tool to help you loose weight not the end all. I would have said that I had the lap band and with that and diet and exercise I have been able to to accomplish this. Only because of how many people dont think of surgery as an option. Just a thought. Hope you have a great day.

Rebecca

[LavenderBrown 0]

I am trying to get surgery right now. We move in 3 months (ish) and I don't know what my new ward will be like. Part of my feels like it is my business. Instead of lying, I favor deflection ("you look great, too!"). Probably not any better morally, but I feel better about it. The other part of me figures people at church are really nice anyway (maybe to nice...but thats a different story). If/when people find out they will be nice to me no matter what they think. Thats often the way the mormons work.