Am I doomed to fail?

[xxlaneyxx 0]

I went for my 3rd fill,and was told I had put on weight (again!) I have not lost any weight since my pre-op diet,I have got a 10 ml band with 6.5 ml in as of 2 days ago. I have not got restriction that I know of,I can still eat far too much before feeling full.My doc who filled me said I have an irregular swallow,and it means I am not feeling full,even if I have eaten more than I am supposed to. I ended up in tears feeling like I wasted my money,that its not going to work for me now. I had a problem with overeating all my life and that is why I chose the surgery.I feel like I am a failure and nothing is going to help me now.They tell me to diet and watch what I eat-but lests face it if I was any good at that I wouldnt be overweight in the first place. I am feeling really low,am eating more again as comfort,thats what got me here in the 1st place feeling like I am worth nothing. Please give me some hints and support,I am really at a very low point.

[Sades 4]

I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds to me like you're nowhere near restriction so don't beat yourself up about being able to eat. I have 8.5cc in a 10cc band and I still haven't got full restriction. I have lost 16kgs / 35 lbs and have had to work hard to keep it off. I walk pretty much every day to burn off any extra food I eat. Are you exercising? Are you counting calories? If you're still hungry at least if you eat low cal food then you are unlikely to put on weight. Take it easy on yourself and remember that it took you many years to get to this weight, so what is a year or two to get it off. Think of yourself as a work in progress like I do.

[kristylyn 0]

Hey, Don't talk like that. No one is a failure. You will get the hang of this lapband. I am going on my 3rd fill in two weeks and I still don't fill that much of a restriction. I do get full though, but I start filling it when I am half way done my plate. My Dr told me this, if you loose 2 to 3 pounds a week, that was great. You don't want to loose to fast, Plus If you loose to fast then it wouldn't be the lapband cause its suppose to help you loose weight slowy. What kind of food are you eatting?? Watch your labels and what I try to do is watch my suger and carbs in that food. I don't count calaleries, but that's just me. I was told that I don't have to, so I don't. Plus what I also do is I eat between 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food on my plate. I know that don't seem much, But that's really what I can eat. I Have lost a total of 33 pounds within 2 months buy eatting like that. I try also try to stay away from carbs, which are bread, Pasta, rice, pototatos..But sometimes I do eat them. Eat alot of meat first to get your protien in, then vegs, then fruits..But don't give up. It's easy to put on weight then take it off. Just have your Dr keep filling you up and you might just start getting a restriction when you are at 10ccs. Don't cal yourself a failure, cause you are not. You came this far. You are brave to get this done and it wil work for you. Just give it some time.

I hope I help a little bit. Let me give you a BIG (((HUG))) and keep your head up. It will work for ya!!

Edited June 13, 2008 by kristylyn

[jjsmiles 3]

Hi Laney,

Having the band is not a miracle cure for overeating and all our issues we face around food - as you are learning . You sound really down on yourself - but you CAN do this.

I think one of the main issues that many of us face is that we have let food and our appetites control us for years (if not our entire lives). You need to take some steps to control food rather than it control you. Many people (including myself) had spent years saying that we couldn't control ourselves and were obese because we weren't able to stick to a diet. We have become victims of our own making and our tendancy is to give up when the band doesn't work as easily as we thought. The reality is that to be successful, we need to be mindful of what we are eating (even if we aren't dieting). The band isn't going to make our eating choices for us.

There are some steps you can take to start to take control:

1. Start by documenting every bite of food you put in your mouth -either on line or with pen and paper (I have a little notebook - each page is a day). You don't necessarily have to write down the calorie count, but you do need to write down exactly how much you are eating. This is very helpful for many reasons: you start to realize how much you are actually eating; you can start to see some patterns in the choices of what you are eating; and by writing it down, you need to make a conscious choice to eat (and what you eat), rather than just eating obliviously.

You don't need to share this with anyone, but remember if you don't write it down, you are just lying to yourself.

2. When you have done this for a couple of days, start to look at what you could change quite simply- can you take a little less for the snack? Can you choose something that is lower calorie or lower fat instead? Am I really hungry or do I just want to eat (head hunger). Will a glass of Water help? If I am not actually hungry - can I distract myself for 1/2 hour til the urge passes?

I HATED journaling my food when I first started, but I think it has been a major key to my success. I found almost immediately that I would think twice before I ate something, I was more conscious of making healthier choices, I changed the quantity of what I ate, and I didn't eat out of habit or boredom as often. I was shocked at how much I ate unconsciously previous to this start to my journey.

3. You can make the choice to look at this journey as a change in your eating habits, not a diet. If you want to be successful, plan to eat now as you want to eat for the rest of your life. For me that means that I eat everything (yes I eat fruit, veggies, bread, Pasta and I still consider chocolate, cookes and pizza food groups). The difference now is that I don't eat them daily, and when I do eat them, I eat less and go for real quality vs. quantity. For example, pretty much every Sunday I have 2 homemade Cookies when I go to my Dad's for dinner. Most Sundays, I also have 2 really good chocolates for afternoon tea. I usually don't eat chocolate or Cookies the rest of the week. I am not denying myself what I love and what I want, but I am planning on how and when I will eat it.

4. When going out to eat, if possible plan for what you are going to eat before you go, so you don't choose the bacon double cheeseburger with fries and gravy. Some restaurants have their menus online, but you usually know what will generally be on the menu. For example - order Soup and salad (dressing on the side), or order a plain piece of meat with veggies rather than pototos. If I order Pasta, I try to order whole wheat, the lunch size if available and a Tomato based sauce, rather than a cream based sauce.

5. Know your trouble times and plan for them. For example, I am an evening eater. History tells me that if I let myself, I will eat all evening, even if not hungry. It is not useful to try to make myself stop eating after 7 pm, etc, because I just feel deprived, I get angry and frustrated and then my tendancy will be to turn to food. What do I do? I excercise after work, so I don't get my dinner until 6:00 pm or 7:00 pm, which shortens my evening. I also plan for at least one if not two Snacks in the evening. My Snacks are generally around or under 100 calories and are foods that satisfy my urges (turkey pepperoni, 100 calorie popcorn packs, no sugar added vanilla or chocolate pudding, ultra low fat cream cheese and crackers, etc). Please note that I am not choosing carrots or celery, because I know that will not satisfy my head.

Sorry for the novel, but I just wanted to show that you can be successful and you can do this, but you need to make some choices. I celebrated my one year anniversary of starting this journey yesterday (June 12) and I have lost over 132 pounds in that year.

The band has been a wonderful tool and help mate and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but the reality is that I did all the work and the band just helped me stay "stomach satisfied" for longer periods of time. I had to do all the physical and "head" work to make this work for me. :biggrin2:

[brown bear 0]

I just googled irregular swallow and got nothing. Don't give up yet, more fills are probably the solution. That will take time - but if it does not seem to help then have your doctor look at the band under fluoroscopy (not sure I said that right) - maybe he should check the position of the band. Good luck and keep getting fills!

[Lizalee 1]

HANG IN THERE! YOU can do this. It will work if you keep at it. Follow the suggestions of JJSmiles - they are excellent and echo pretty much how I've been using my band to help me lose weight.

I am not sure what your doctor meant about abnormal swallow. But, I too have a somewhat delayed swallow on my pre-op barium swallow, and all that meant is that when I swallow several swallows, it doesn't always go all the way down immediately. Which just means I am prone to reflux, and could have more reflux problems if my band is too tight. That's it. Didn't mean my band wouldn't work.

Even with the band, it comes down to eating less, and exercising more. There is no magic. The band is all mechanical - it just helps you have a smaller stomach that tells you "i'm full" quicker (but you have to listen to it). This is much easier once you get a good resriction - which it doesn't sound like you do!

I highly recommend food journaling - I do The Daily Plate online and love it. I also pre-plan my major eating for the day to I know right up front how much Protein I'll get and how many calories. That way I don't fool myself by thinking - oh, this one cookie won't matter. It does! If it's a cookie I REALLY want, then I eat it, but make compromises elsewhere in my intake for that day. You don't have to be perfect, but I agree - write everything down - I know otherwise I get into the old habit of...well, it's just a bite here or there...and trying to play head games with myself.

YOU CAN DO IT!

[kagoscuba 0]

The only failure is never trying. You've already beaten that point.

All this talk I hear about how many ml go in the band baffles me. Who cares? Get the fill done under flouro, and ml will cease to have meaning. You'll be able to see your restriction in action as you watch the barium get choked down from a flood to a mere trickle. That visual will stay with you, as you start to eat. You'll KNOW you can't eat a lot, because you know what the restriction looked like.

Other than that, there were some other great pieces of advice in this thread. Making a food journal being one of the best ones. I did it, until I got into the groove of eating right. Now, I'll just journal a few times a month to ensure I'm still eating right (hint: don't always journal the good stuff - if you cheat, see the impact it has). In addition, exercise cannot be stressed enough. You may even begin to enjoy it. Last September 27th, I got winded getting off of the couch. This September 27th, I'll be doing a triathlon. You can and WILL succeed.

[juliegeraci 7]

Your doctor is full of shit. It is quite common to need more that 6.5 in a 10 band. You need another fill my dear. Good luck.

[Kathyfrentress 0]

Some doctors, mine included, are very conservative with fills. They don't use the floroscopy (sp) and they base everything on weight loss since last fill and how you feel. I wish my dr. would do it the other way and just get to it!! But, I have to say, with patience, you will get there. I am a 10 cc band with 8.0cc filled. I've had 4 fills and one coming up on June 23rd. I can tell I'm getting closer to restriction. So, hang in there!

[xxlaneyxx 0]

Thankyou to everyone and all the positive words of encouragement. The only way I can describe what the doc has said is that my oesophagus has irregular muscles that are not moving in a smooth motion,and that I am not getting the signals of being full-even if I have overeaten,so I can be stretching my pouch and not realising it.

I put everything I had into this,but never thought it wouldnt work for me or help me. I am going to try to watch what I eat more-maybe a weight watchers diet or something(I can follow that Im sure) I was banded on 1st March 2008 and I have not lost anything apart from my confidence! lol I need to get on track again,I think I was hoping for better results,maybe its still early days and I am worrying too soon,but the doctor that did my 3rd fill really made out that its not working for me,and that I need to diet! Tell me something I didnt already know,-if just dieting worked for me I wouldnt have needed to spend £8000 would I ? I just hoped I would feel fuller sooner,but so far no luck,and I can still eat far too much.

I will not give up,I was just feeling very down.

Thankyou all again xxx

[Lizalee 1]

OK = but please get more fills! You really need more restriction!

Edited June 14, 2008 by Lizalee

[Bigb 0]

Get more fills. I have a 10cc band and didn't feel any restriction until I had 9ccs in the band. It is working now. I lost about 45 pounds pre-op and another 15 pounds right after surgery and gained all but six pounds back. I have now lost 72 pounds total. this thing will work but you need to get it filled.

[gkeyt 0]

Actually, you MIGHT not need another fill. The difference is between "full" and "satisfied". There's a BIG difference between those things, and that is one of the hardest things to learn with the band. Of course, we all have overeating problems that led us to get banded. Before getting another fill, try seeing if you are blowing past your "stop signs":

1. Are you eating small bites, chewing very thoroughly (20-30x)?

2. Are you sitting down to eat with no distractions (computer, TV, etc)?

3. Are you drinking with your meals? (Stop!)

4. When you are midway through eating your (premeasured, no more than 1 to 1.5 cup of solid food) meal, do you notice anything like:

-a sigh

-a hiccup

-nose running

-burp

-shoulder pain

If you do--stop eating. You are "full".

There are others, you can google them and find what other people notice is their soft stop sign. These signs can be very subtle, so it's important to pay attention to them. Being "full" is a thing of the past. This is an important thing to learn if you want to be successful with the band. It's not easy, but it isn't as hard as it seems once you get used to it.

Try watching for this for a week, and see if you notice anything different. If you do stop eating once you notice a soft stop sign, see how long it takes before you start to get hungry again. If you find yourself hungry in less than 3 hours, you do need another fill. (This is of course if your meal is solid food. If you're eating Soup, ice cream, Protein shakes, or anything that isn't solid food, it will go right through the band and you'll be hungry again in no time.) But if you stop eating at this point, whatever it is for you, instead of waiting until you feel "full" like we're used to from pre-band days, and you can feel satisfied for 3-4 hours, your restriction is right.

I hope this helps. These things are hard to learn. It sounds like emotional eating is also a big problem, like it is for so many of us. Separating "wanting to eat" from "hungry" is hard, and if you can start working on that, you might have more success as well. See if you can make a list of things to do to distract yourself from eating when you feel like eating but aren't hungry. That is a good place to start.

You can do this--it will take work, though. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!

[kbinaz 0]

Hi, I don't think you are destined to be a failure. I felt the same way, and was sure I was going to be the one person who didn't lose weight after lap band surgery. It took me 5 fills to start feeling any restriction and lost very little weight until then. I lost 12 pounds in the week after surgery, then lost virtually nothing for several months. It was EXTREMELY frustrating and I cried a lot! Then, all of a sudden I had fill #5 and I finally understood what they had been talking about when they said restriction - I was beginning to think it was a huge myth! I have now lost 37.5 pounds. It has taken me almost 8 months to do it, but that still equals over 5 pounds a month which is within the normal range for lap banders (even though it seems like everyone on this sight loses wa-a-a-a-y more than that, it really is not that bad) Before surgery I was losing approximately 0 (zero) pounds a month, so I am pretty darn happy with myself and feeling wonderful and so thankful that I had the surgery. I just got home from a 9 day cruise in Greece, Turkey and Italy and when I weighed myself after returning home I had actually lost a pound!!! I used to come home from vacations up 8 pounds or so. Anyway, hang in there! Some people take a while to find restriction. Schedule your fills and I promise you will get there. And when you get there you will find it much easier to eat the right way. I hope it happens soon!

[snowbird 2]

I'm kind of with julie on this one. I don't stop eating with my band when I "feel full." I stop when I feel like I'm going to start hiccuping and puking all over the table if I keep eating. If I eat too much, I DO start hiccuping and puking. So much for "feeling full."

Sometimes doctors like to blame patients when they don't know the real answer.