Second Guessing - Surgery next week!!

[Jeter2 0]

Hi all,

I've only posted a couple times but I read this sight all the time. My surgery date is June 18th and I have my pre-op later today. I am soooo nervous! Will it work? Complications? I decided not to tell anyone except my husband, because we came to the conclusion that our families are just to judgmental. His family -- all thin and eat what they want-- mine : fat and don't care! Both would be against the band for different reasons. Will I really be able to keep this a secret? I really want this to work but I'm afraid of not waking up from the surgery (I've had 2 surgeries before, so why does this bother me?), I'm afraid of regretting the decision afterward because I love food!! I hate the aches and pains I have, the sleep apnea, and I don't even like to be in family pictures due to me weight. I know I'm rambling but every worst case scenario keeps popping into my head!! (I'm that type of person, but things usually work out in the end, I just like to be prepared!) I guess I'm just looking for words of encouragement here, and if anyone's got them I'm all ears. One last thing, our whole family (hubby, me, two kids) are trying to eat better, but at age 40 my husband eats anything and everything and is still at his high school lacrosse playing weight. He says he knows he needs to eat better for health reasons too but I feel he may sabbotage my progress with his snacking. What to do? Thanks for reading my ramble. I'll post after my pre-op tomorrow.

--Gail

[JRT Mom 919]

Gail-

I'm being banded on Friday and I have wondered countlessly about whether or not I'd miss food too much. But then I go to bed and have to hook myself up to the dad-blamed Bipap machine, and then the next morning have to mince down the stairs because my knees and feet hurt so much. What I suggest is try making a list of the good things about your enjoyment of food, and then make a list of the good things what will happen after you get a band and lose weight. I'll bet the band list will be LOTS longer! And you don't have to give up food totally, but eating large amounts of it. And there's nothing wrong with worrying about anaesthesia and complications, it's your self-preservation instincts kicking in, but remember this is "old-hat" for the professionals, and they certainly will minimize all risks for you.

Good luck with your consult and post how it went!

[nat36 2]

Dying and leaving my family from complications from being morbidly obese is the worst case scenario for me.

[kizzie 1]

Hey there!!..

I too am having my surgery on the 18th!!.. yay for us!!,

I too am nervous about my future eating habits. I am single.. but have a love affair with food!.. will that change??.. who knows!? but I know.. that I HAVE to do this. I don't want to be single anymore. I don't want to have painful knees and desperately want to get rid of my walking stick. I want my life back!.. and believe me I will now have a different love affair with food. I will just find different ways of enjoying LESS!.. ..

good luck to you..!! ONE WEEK TO GO!!!!

Kizzie

[eazes 0]

Sounds to me you're having cold feet which is normal. Imagine it like your wedding day. I know for mine I had thoughts that I was making a big mistake, was this really the right man for me, could I stomach being attached to him for the rest of my life. All sorts of things. But when I stood in front of him and said my vows while I looked in his eyes I just knew I was making the right decision and we've been married for 9 yrs. Just think about all the things you can accomplish with the band...Most notable WEIGHT LOSS! It's normal to have doubts but don't let them overtake you. When you have these thoughts running through your mind just think about what you plan on doing once you reach your goal. Here's a suggestion...How about a grand family portrait!

[OnMyWay2Fit 0]

The pros soooooo outweigh the cons when it comes to this drastic change yoiu will go through.You sound exactly how I felt prior to my surgery. Only a few were told.Definately not his family and I did get a little support from my side.They were mostly big and I think a little jealousy was there. I did it for me though and not any of them.I didn't want to end up with their health issues in the years to come.Now they see the changes in me. I smile all the time. I don't mind getting my picture taken. I have sooo much more energy to do things with my kids.I don't hurt in the morning. I sleep better. The sleep apnea is gone. I don't think about food all day. I don't get hungry. Little things make so much of a difference. I can go on and on. Me stomach doesn't touch the steering wheel. I can sit and cross my legs like a lady. I can feel bones where I couldn't before. I can buy clothes that I like and not just what fits. Please get rid of those second thoughts . I hope you too get a chance at a new found look on life.Before is just wasn't living.

[OnMyWay2Fit 0]

I was so excited to respond to the thread ,that I didn't even check my spelling before I submitted the reply. Really, if you are having second thoughts, go to search and type in "second thoughts" there will be dozens of responses.Those should help you out. This forum has been more help to me than anything or any one. Keep in touch and good luck.

Evelyn

[heatheranne 0]

I agree with JRT. Making a list may really help. I was reading the "What I WON'T miss" thread and bawled my eyes out. It solidified my decision and helped me remember that despite any doubts it is absolutely the best thing for me.

[Lori Ann 0]

I would also do it again in a New York minute. I had thoughts just like you and even after I had the surgery for the first few days, I said what the hell have I done....I was so upset.....I really didn't think I would miss food that much, but my life today is the best it has ever been. You will go through a couple of ups and downs after surgery, but I am here to tell you it is short lived........I no longer have diabetes anymore, don't take Diabetic medicine.....in fact, I am no longer a Diabetic....woo hoo! My feet don't swell and don't hurt when I walk. My legs don't ache, I no longer take blood pressure medicine.....my blood pressure stays at 115/70. I love to shop for clothes....I don't mind seeing myself in pictures anymore....,I love getting out of bed....I can cross my legs now (and they stay crossed).....I am healthy......I love being me and don't want to be anybody else anymore.....you are in for the time of your life.....Please don't short change yourself! We will be here to help you along with your journey.....Happy traveling!

[Big Dan 2]

I agree with what the others have said about the better quality of life (and I am only 6 weeks out!) but one other thing that doesn't get mentioned too much is the eating part. When you have eaten a ton (and enjoyed it) like I had for many years the thought of not being able to eat is also very scary (at least it was to me). I actually thought to myself, 'Do I want to live longer if it means no pizza or steak or any of the other things I love?' and of course I decided it would be worth it but only barely. Well now that I have healed for several weeks I have discovered that I can still enjoy my food but not eat a ton of it! If you take small bites and chew it well like we are supposed to you will notice that you still get as much if not more time to savor the taste but don't have to eat enough to feed a small nation at every meal. I have found this to be very satisfying and I am losing weight! How cool is that?!:tongue2:

[brown bear 0]

Gail - This thread contains a lot of wisdom. Thanks for starting this. I have my pre-op today and surgery the 25th. I started my pre-op diet today and suddenly am so scared. I was so sure of this and then today it all just hit me. But I know I want and need this.

Thanks for all the reminders of why we are doing this.:tongue2:

I am Gail, too.:smile:

[Northwest_Nance 0]

I think all of your pre-surgery fears are completely normal! Most people are aware of the risks and potential complications of surgery, and will think more than twice about it.... but thankfully, it almost always turns out ok (I know that's not a reliable scientific statistic but you know what I mean!). I had all of the same fears, and it was an absolute breeze. By far the easiest surgery I've ever had (and I've had my tonsils removed, my gallbladder removed, and a hysterectomy. Well, I take it back -- my cataract surgery was easier than lap band, lol).

I can appreciate why you don't want to tell your family. I don't see why you can't keep it secret from them as time goes on, if that's what you choose to do. You might have to come up with some excuses if there are certain foods you can't eat or if you can't eat much at all.... but I think that's manageable.

I'm fortunate to live alone (well, I guess there are some good things about it!) so I don't have to worry about anyone in my household sabataging my diet or having to keep non-healthy foods in the cabinets. I think you'll do fine though.... the band will help you, but more than that, the fact that you want this, you want to get healthier.... will help you! And as he watches your effort and your progress, your husband might just make more of an effort to not put temptation in front of you so much.

Best of luck with your surgery, it's an exciting journey you're starting on!

[Jeter2 0]

You all have made me feel so much better. I never thought I would have this last minute fear because I had been waiting so long for the surgery. I started with my first visit to the bariatric center in March '07 and becasue of unforseen problems I didn't end up with the actual surgery date until June 18th, 2008. When the realization hit that it was only a week away -- WOW-- it hit me! I'm still nervous, but I believe I'm ready. My pre-op visit yesterday went well. I was even told that after a few months I could have a little diet Pepsi, my fave. My doctor's office says that they've been reviewing the diet soda thing for a long time and see no evidence that it causes any harm. But it also has no nutritional value, so I intend to try to not have it, but it makes me feel a little better knowing later on I can try some if I want. I also met a really nice nurse that had adopted a little girl from China, like we have, and we talked about how much more I would be able to do with my kids. My husband and older daughter went hiking in the Adirondacks a few weeks back, and I didn't go because I knew I would just hold them back. Next year, I'm going!! Thanks for all of the encouragement!!

--Gail

[juliegeraci 7]

Hi Gail, I am 2 years post op and have lost 105 lbs. I love my band. The surgery was pretty easy. The main objective with the band is to get good restriction as soon as you can. Good luck.

[Whoooooooosh 0]

I have filled up with tears more times reading all your wonderful messages of support & encouragement to Gail.

I went to see my GP asking for banding today & was lucky enough to get a referral straight away - no pleading or begging. I'm 40 years old & 2 years ago I had a heart attack - wow that was a shock !! I stopped smoking instantly & due to that plus angina I put 3 stone on & I was already overweight enough :biggrin: My heart was stented in the November & I've not looked back since, but I can't shift the weight & I was reading so many of your messages & thinking "That's me !! I have that !! OMG that's me too !!"

I loved Dan's post about what it's like to eat afterwards too, that's what I need to read more information on, so that's what I'm searching for next.

Gail, you're gonna be fine !!!!! I can't wait to see your stats when the weight starts dropping off you :frown: