My mum has shocked me!

Just_Bob · June 11, 2008

It seems so sad that a person who is obese and struggling with weight. Who is all stressed out because of it, trying diets and exercise programs that don't work and getting more and more depressed. Who eventually has a heart attack because of it all. Gets more sympathy and support in their journey toward changing their lives then we do. Its more accepted to have open heart surgery and be allowed the support to make major life changes to fix the issues then a lapband or by-pass to make sure we never get to that point, ever. Just because we chose to have bariatric surgery as a proactive way of stopping all the horrible things that were going to happen to us, it is considered cheating. Cheating who, ourselves, or is it truly the person that is throwing that accusation around that feels cheated. I say it is nothing more than a little jealousy. I feel embarrassed for every person who thinks a lap band is the easy way out because it shows their ignorance. For each and every one of us the easy way out would have been to do nothing and continue to eat ourselves to an early grave.

If they will not support us, we will just have to support each other!

We are all here for you RockChick, and anyone else who needs support.

Well, I am not sure where that all came from, must of struck a nerve... Goodnight everyone

mstrina27 · June 11, 2008

WOW... see that's why people keep their procedures to themselves becasue they don't want people to wait for them to fail.. That is ashame that people are so critical of others like that... the bottom line is that the lady had to work her azz of at loosing the weight.. If u get a fill and never workout u will loose weight but sooner or later it will stop.. U have to add to what u have to get the results that u want.. and that's what people do that have the band... How sad...But u were right not to tell her at this point because she was so critical of the person on tv.. only heavens knows what and how she will feel about u... u have to ween her in on it...

rockchick · June 11, 2008

Thanks to all for your heartfelt words of support. I really appreciate them.

To explain to the others, I am NOT ashamed of the surgery, but I am afraid of failure! I do not want others to be heaping more pressure onto me that I am already putting onto myself! I have tried every diet under the sun & the voice in my head is saying to me "Why should this be any different"! As everyone on here says, the band is only a tool & not a magic wand. I'm afraid that I won't be able to work with it, as, at the moment, I am going through "Bandster Hell" - I have no restriction & I could eat from morning till night, though I am trying to be good. I seem to have an inbuilt "panic button", when I start to experience any hunger pangs, my immediate reaction is to eat till I feel full! This reaction, I feel, is a result of all the years of dieting I have gone through. I have been on diets for 3/4 of my whole life.

Maybe, in the future, when I am at the point that some of you are already at, when I feel some restriction & can see the weight coming off, I will feel ready to admit to what I have done. But I need to be sure that it is working for me, that I am making a difference. Otherwise, I will be in the "failure" category, once again. And this time, I will be £8000 poorer, too. When the results start to show, I will hold my head high & shout about the band from the rooftops, but until then, I will be keeping this under wraps. I just don't have the luxury of family & friends who provide support, just ones who are quick to judge, without taking time to learn the facts.

I agree with those that say that band surgery should be celebrated, it is no different to eye surgery or breast enlargements, but as with anything else that is weight-related, we are seen to be lazy & weak. I am glad I am taking back control of my life, preventing further distruction to my body & hopefully helping to become a new, happier & healthier me!

I AM proud to be a Bandster & hope that anyone else who hasn't got support from their immediate family has also read these posts & got some comfort from them, as I have.

Suzi

lhasselle · June 11, 2008

Suzi,

You have found support from friends here! There are some great people on this site to help encourage us all in our low times. What you are going through right now, we have all felt.

I don't know about doctors everywhere, but right after my band was placed I had a weight gain of 3 pounds. I broke down in the doctor's office. My doctor explained that I had nothing really there to restrict me from eating. I didn't know this. It would be about 8 weeks before my first fill. Then it would be a gradual filling of the ring. I had my last fill in May and that was 1-1/2 years after my surgery. You will be successful. You may need to be especially careful with what you eat right now and try to really get the exercise in. In time, the pounds will begin to melt away. It still won't be easy. I worry about nutrition, personally. I can't eat anything except soft foods and it stay down. I take Vitamins, but am not sure that is the best way to get my nutrients. Keep in touch here. We will be your support.

Leah

Telecia · June 11, 2008

You know that is one thing I can't understand either. If you have to have ANY kind of treatment to correct a problem everyone who finds out for miles around will pat you on the back and wish you well/fast recovery etc..

Even the people that never noticed you beforehand. But yet when it comes to doing something so positive for your health as WLS when all other options fail they all turn into the harshest of critics and know it alls.

No one ever claims to the patient after a open heart surgery "Well now you gotta change your diet and lifestyle now dont ya!?" no!! for the most part it's only doctors who will talk like that and of course they would they have the knowledge to do so.

Bah its depressing sometimes now negativly based our society has grown to be. Whatever happend to the old saying " if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Fern Britton needs support and commended on doing well with her weight loss. no matter how it was achieved not the possiblity of losing her job and heavens knows what else she is attempting to deal with right now because someone wanted to be an ***hole.

rockchick you know your mom best. I personally would not blame you the slightest if you chose not to tell her. Maybe for now its best for you not to. Only you know what you can live with and what not. And if she is that much a negativity tosser save yourself the grief. You don't need that extra hassle right now. Focus on you. Later on down the road you might change your mind.

You know as a parent I may not like the choices my kids make but I have to respect the ones they do make. Even if I feel they are wrong. And I wouldn't constantly gripe about it. I might voice my mind once or twice in a serious talk. But after that I'd be to afraid my kids would stop coming around/communicating. It's hard just watching them learn the hard way but when someone is convinced/set you won't change their mind. you just gotta let them do.. And I told you so's to me are just hurtfull.

Congrats on your band and kudos to you for doing something to take control.