I have no support and no-one to talk to: Surgery 18th June

[kizzie 1]

Hi there

I could really do with an online mentor. I am quite alone in all of this 'band' procedure. Personally, I am so excited about my new life.. but I live with the people I work with and the general consensus is that I must be very weak willed to have to resort to such a procedure. This is very hard to endure. I am really unable to talk to anyone about my surgery and my decision. So I am currently living in silence. These people have never had a weight problem in their lives and are all under 120. I hear them regularly complain about getting fat... mmm they have NO idea.. and just see me as a lazy overeater.

I hope there is someone who would be willing to hear my fear, concerns, exchange chats..and generally be my 'band' friend through this.

I am a very happy person usually. But since I decided to make this change. some of the people I live with (who had to know as I need to take a week off of work..and one of them has to drive me -she is quite supportive-) don't make it easy for me.. so I do feel a little bit down.

My family are all overseas.. and I can't take that much time off to have the procedure done with them. It is kind of a 'you can have it done if the recovery isn't too long'..kind of thing here.. and the whole surgery and recovery shouldn't be too inconvenient to those around me..in other words. have it done, hide away for a week and then come back to work mentioning nothing about it. mmmm supportive eh!?..

thanks in advance..

Kizzie

Edited June 10, 2008 by kizzie
grammar

[salsa1877 10]

Well I certainly don't think that you are weak...I think it takes a strong person to do something that will compeltely change their lives. I would love to be a support for you. I have my own mentoring thread http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f260/ready-willing-64799/ or you can post here and I will be glad to answer. Try to join a board for the month that you are getting banded. I actually joined 2...August 07 is my original and then I also joined the July 07 board. There are so many people that are willing to be your friend and not judge you on this board. It will give you the confidence to stand up to those around you. I have found that I while I have lost 100 pounds, I have gained 150 pounds of ME.

Congrats on taking a wonderful step to get your life back. No matter what anyone else says, I am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself.

[kizzie 1]

thank you so much for replying so quickly!.

It is so very good to know that I am not alone. My parents live in New Zealand and I am in Spain... so they are asleep when I need to talk. It is very hard to get things in order when I can't talk about my situation. Honestly I just get looks of distaste... or 'she's talking about being fat again.why doesn't she just stop eating'.. it is a very hard place to be. If I didn't live where I work I would have never said anything to these people. It really annoys me that they have to know all my personal information. I do know that when the weight DOES start to fall off.. that they will THEN realise what I had to do to get to this situation.

anyway, I am currently trying to sort out getting my shopping in for after my surgery. I will be pretty much on my own so will need to have things handy that don't require too much refrigeration.

How long did you need to stay in bed??

I am going into hospital at 2pm for a 4pm surgery.. and should be home again the following lunchtime.

thank you for being there!.. I know myself that I am not a weak person.. but it is very hard to be around ignorant people who seem to think they are far superior because they are thin and earn a heap more money than I do!!...

[salsa1877 10]

thank you so much for replying so quickly!.

It is so very good to know that I am not alone. My parents live in New Zealand and I am in Spain... so they are asleep when I need to talk. It is very hard to get things in order when I can't talk about my situation. Honestly I just get looks of distaste... or 'she's talking about being fat again.why doesn't she just stop eating'.. it is a very hard place to be. If I didn't live where I work I would have never said anything to these people. It really annoys me that they have to know all my personal information. I do know that when the weight DOES start to fall off.. that they will THEN realise what I had to do to get to this situation.

anyway, I am currently trying to sort out getting my shopping in for after my surgery. I will be pretty much on my own so will need to have things handy that don't require too much refrigeration.

How long did you need to stay in bed??

I am going into hospital at 2pm for a 4pm surgery.. and should be home again the following lunchtime.

thank you for being there!.. I know myself that I am not a weak person.. but it is very hard to be around ignorant people who seem to think they are far superior because they are thin and earn a heap more money than I do!!...

The less you stay in bed the better. You will most likely have some shoulder pain caused from the gas that they use to inflate your belly when they do the surgery. The pain in your shoulder can be quite excruciating at times and the best way to take care of it is to walk, walk, walk. Stay on top of yor pain meds and you should be fine. For me it hurt for about 2-3 days but overall it wasn't that bad. The more you can walk the stronger you will be.

The lack of refrigeration is what concerns me the most. Most of the things that you will need to consume are going to need to be refrigerated (protein drinks) or cooked (soup). However, it shouldn't be hard to get to and from the fridge. For me it really wasn't that painful of a surgery. I just got a small pillow to hold in front of me so that my tummy didn't feel like it was falling out. Just that small amount of pressure seemed to help. If you have any questions or need advice, please feel free to ask. I am here for you!

[kizzie 1]

thanks for the advice. I will make a little 'survival' note book for afterwards.. and maybe leave post its around!.. walk walk walk!!

The walk to the kitchen here is quite some distance... but I will make it. we have professional chefs etc..and a lot of staff who don't know what I am doing.. so I will just have to get them to make me Soups and pretend i am sick or something!! ha.. I will figure it out..

it is the start of something new and wonderful and I want to feel wonderful about it.. not ashamed that I caved in because I am weak..

Anyway I am going to read some of the positive posts on here and keep myself motivated and happy!.. I will call my parents in a few hours and have a chat with them too..

thanks again.. and it is good to know you are there!

[juliegeraci 7]

Kizzie, I have been banded 2 years and would love to chat with you on your journey. Congrats on your decision!

[kizzie 1]

Hi Julie

Thank you so much for offering your support. I do need help with this as I am so alone where I live/work. My parents have been wonderful and tell me to call them anytime day or not if I am concerned or just want to talk. But I really don't want to wake them up.

I have had a few good days since my surgery date was given to me. Although I have been told to go on a diet. I know I should cut things out now.. I am slowly saying goodbye to some old 'friends' in other words .. juicy steaks! ha.. and fibrous veggies... but I do feel like I am really eating a lot and justifying it because I won't be able to in a week.. Bad I know.. and I will try from now to really concentrate on being as healthy as I can for my surgery.

Two years!! wow..CONGRATULATIONS!! you are doing so well!!.. how has your journey been?.. I would love to hear your story!

I am quite nervous now about the actual operation .. and of course waking up and feeling pain. I am hoping to be back in shape as quickly as possible as I only have a week off of work. My mind is set for the changes.. but I know I have habits that will take time to alter. For example.. gulping down drinks when I have finished eating.. (water usually.. I rarely drink soda... but will miss sparkling water!!)...oh and of course taking tiny bites and chewing properly.

I am currently making my shopping list and organising it for the three stages. So, trying to figure out exactly what I should be eating when I get home from the hospital. (the clear liquid stage) and what I need to take to the hospital.

I am having my surgery in Spain, but will be moving to the US in Miami(I move every 3 or 4 months with my job).. so also have the stress of finding a fill doctor!.. there don't seem to be many in the S FL.. region.. all further north.. so not quite sure what I will do yet..

anyway. I have waffled enough ( you can tell I don't talk to many people!!.. well about this anyway! I try not to concern my parents as they feel pretty bad that they can't be here for me..bless them)...

I hope I am not all doom and gloom!. I really am so excited to find my old self again.. and find that I am new and improved!!

Thank you again so much for offering your support. I am so grateful to you!.

Louise

[juliegeraci 7]

Hi Louise, I have been banded 2 years last week. I've lost 105 lbs total including my preop diet. I am 15 lbs from goal. I have had some difficulties with fills. It seems like I have had approximately 20 in the last 2 years. Fills, unfills. Starving, too tight. That is the one thing about the band. It can be fickle. I do eat around the band by drinking with meals. That is the one thing I do. I do not exercise like I should either. I had a Tummy Tuck on 4/21 and he removed 6.5 lbs of fat from my abdomen. I started in a size 24 and now am in a size 16. I never set out to get skinny. I just wanted to be in a nice size. I am 5'8" tall. My doctor said I am a success since I have lost 70% of my excess weight. Anything over 50% is considered a success. I am married with 2 children, 15 and 6. They keep me very busy with sports and school. When exactly is your surgery? I think there are plenty of doctors in Florida.

[Tres Chic 0]

Kizzie... it's helpful to have lot's of advice because everyone doesn't have the same experience. For example, I had no shoulder pain or gas pain following surgery. I healed quickly (within days) and my only difficulty was the learning curve as you go through the phases of liquid, mushy, etc. Good luck with your journey... I've been banded since '07 and don't regret it.

[kizzie 1]

wow! that is an incredible success story and quite inspiring!!.. corr I dream of being a size 16!!!.. lol..

My surgery is next Wednesday (18th).

I was wondering about plastic surgery later on down the line.. hoping I am as successful as you. My stomach hangs down a bit even with all my fat.. so I am guessing it will pretty much stay there until I have it chopped away. But that is for later... right now i need to concentrate on my procedure next week. I have watched many surgeries online.. so know what will happen once I go in..

[kizzie 1]

Thanks Tres Chic.. that was really lovely of you to post such an inspiring message.. I am trying to gain as much advice as I can.. there are so many different stories out there.. I just want to be prepared for how I will feel after my op.. I spend most days on this website..and count my blessings that this site is here!.. I have learned so much from this site alone..

I could really do with a three stages menu list though.. just to be sure.. I can't find one on here.. everything seems quite spread out.. and then I get confused to when I can introduce things like mashed avocado and soft chicken!...

[kiz 1]

Hi kizzie, I feel like we're kindred spirits with the similar screen names! :biggrin:

You're further ahead in the process than me, so maybe you can offer me advice along the way. But, if you need support, you can always send me a pm, and I'd be happy to listen. I know it must be hard without a supportive group of friends to lean on, especially with your parents far away. Sending you {{{HUGS}}} from Virginia.

[aubrie 6]

Kizzie,

I've read your posts. I have a semi recommendation... If it's possible....Have a heart to heart with one of the chefs in your place of residence. I'm still not clear on the particulars, but gosh, that could work to your advantage to have the chef in your corner!!! He really will need to know your dietary needs for the next month or so. They will be pretty specific. If I were a professional chef, and I had the chance to help someone, I'd jump at the chance. Given a list of do's and don'ts, I would take it as a professional challege. Tell him so!! You may end up with a very dear friend out of the deal, but he/she really needs to know your requirements in advance.

Ask your doctor if there is a support group in your village or town. You may be surprised. There are more people out there that have had this procedure than you think. I highly recommend it. Once you're able to exercise, join a dance class, or a community swimming pool, or a gym. You'll make lots of new friends!! I did. Then you won't have to sit around and listen to your roomates be critical of you. Make a new life in ALL aspects of your life.

I wish you all the best!!! PM me if you wish. good luck.

[Tres Chic 0]

Kizzie... one surgery at a time there, my friend! Once you get close to your goal weight you'll have a better idea of what other cosmetic surgery you might need or want.

If your clinic doesn't provide you with a list of foods and a timeline following surgery, you can check out www.tlbc.ca . It's the clinic in Toronto and they have a complete menu on their website.

We'll be thinking about you on the 18th so check back when you can and tell us all how it went.

[Tres Chic 0]

Julie... great story! I'd be at goal if I could lob off 6.5 lbs of skin!!!