Why am I keeping it Quiet???

[Susanbee 0]

I hate the fact that you/I can't do what we want without others looking at us...let's be an inspiration ...

[Vidahlia 0]

I'm not telling anyone at this point other than my husband. Not my kids, or my mom or co-workers. I work in a very small office (three of us) and the other female co-worker already comments on everything I do, what I eat, drink, etc. I'm not even close to getting approval yet since I just started but I've started making changes already and she has already noticed (portion sizes, types of food & drink, etc) and started commenting. All of this also goes with living in a very small (8,000) rural town.

I'll keep it to myself, thank you very much! :redface:

[Harkingluv 0]

At first, I was really guarded about my surgery. I thought about it for almost a year and a half before I actually had the guts to go to a seminar about the procedure. Then one day I was watching Oprah with mom and she was interviewing people who had different types of weight loss surgeries (lap band, bypass, etc.). I told my mom (with my bro, sis and step-dad present) that I was considering having the surgery done. My mom said that I shouldn't have to resort to a surgery and it is dangerous to have surgery (blah, blah, blah) and my bro said (who is able to spend 4 hours a day at the gym) that I should just "eat right" and work-out and I would be able to lose weight. Mind you, I am over 100 pounds over weight, a med student, and a mom to a toddler. (I asked him when did he expect me to sleep?) Basically, what I heard my bro was saying was that if I wasn't lazy, I would lose the weight. So his comments really hurt my feelings.

My husband finally helped me get the courage to go to a lap band seminar. I decided then and there that I was going to have the surgery no matter what. I waited until the day before my initial consultation to tell my mom what I was doing. She seemed happy about it at that point. I had to explain to her the difference between lap bands and gastric bypass. She explained to me that she blamed herself for me being overweight. She wondered "what she had done wrong" in order for me to always turn to food. I explained to her that it was my addiction and addictions run in my family (my biological father is an alcoholic and my mom is a smoker).

At that point, I told my mom not to tell anyone, especially my bro and sis (my bro because I thought he would be judgemental, and my sis because she is a worrier). She told me later on (before my surgery) that she had told one of my aunts, my bro, my sis and my step-dad. I was a little upset, but I started asking myself why I cared what everyone thought. I guess it was because I had failed so many other times. I remember walking into all of those weight-watcher meetings and feeling ashamed because I had gained weight AGAIN, quitting every diet, and then gaining every pound back plus more (I think we all have been there). I was embarrased and afraid I would disappoint everyone again. But I knew this time was going to be different. I decided at that point, that this was the best decision I could make for myself and I was going to tell who ever would listen. So I gave my mom the go-ahead to tell whoever she wanted (we have a big family and the night before my surgery, my phone was ringing non-stop - that was a little irritating).

Unfortunately, some of the people I thought would be supportive, have disappointed me. Like so many others on the forum, I was also being sick of the fat friend. All of my other friends are skinnier than I am. When I told one friend, she said "well, just don't lose too much weight. I don't want you getting too skinny. Maybe just get down to 160". I think it was along the same lines as she dosen't want me to be smaller than her. The next day she started weight watchers. I think she is a little jealous.

Another friend never compliments me about how I look and then makes digs at other areas in my life (not being able to stay at home with my son, missing out on little things he does every day). So that really hurts just as bad.

But, I have found support in places where I never thought I would. Since I am a medical student, I have told patients that are in similar situations my story. They are all so supportive and thankful to see that even (future) docs have normal problems too.

I have attending physicians who are willing to bend over backwards to help me and are always asking about my progress. It is just amazing where you will find the support once you open up about the surgery. I see my old attendings every other week and they always compliment how good I look (even if I haven't lost any more weight and look frazzled) and ask if they can do anything for me. My current attending is also overweight and has been picking my brain about the surgery. He is also asking me how I am feeling and how I am coming along with my weight.

So all in all, I am glad that I decided to tell a lot of people. I have family members that are now looking into the lap band, friends that have started diets because they want a healthier life too. So I know I have helped a couple of people make some big decisions in their life that they might not have if I didn't tell them about my surgery. However, it is still a personal decision. Do whatever you think is best for yourself. Just remember not to let other people make you feel bad. Whatever you decide, you know what is in your best interest.

[keisha85 1]

im choosing not to tell anyone, however, after my consult i was told i would not be allowed to have my op unless i nominated someone to be with me for atleast the first 24 hours that i am at home. how did you get around this?

[soontobehottie 4]

Kiesha, You really should have someone there. I have not been banded yet but a friend has and from what I understand you won't be able to drive or get off the couch with out help. Plus, God forbid, what if something happened? Please reconsider telling someone, there must be at least 1 trusted friend who can help you? If you lived by me, I would come and stay with you!!

[fitzie47 0]

I work in a Dr's office here in Pa. I got tired of watching my weight go up and my clothes size increasing also. I went for the consultation and found out that my ins. would pay I was elated. I went back to work and told my boss that i was going to have lap band and she said you don't need surgery. I laughed and told her what I weighed and had to help pick her jaw up off her desk. Scrub outfits sometimes hide the heaviness of a person. The only place i really show as being heavy is in my frontal area. So I can hide that with my work clothes. Now since I work with a great CRNP I talk about weight loss with anyone who is interested in it. I am in month 4 of 6 with diet and excerise. I go wed for my egd and I think I have all of the requirements done:biggrin: So then its just watching what I eat and hitting the gym as much as possible. So here's to all of us waitng patiently for surgery.:ohmy::thumbup::crying::thumbup:

[keisha85 1]

lizzy, i have told one person last night, her immediate response was 'that was what fern britton had wasn't it?' so i do not think she is judging me at all. i am going to see if she would like to come and visit me for the weekend, as she lives about 300 miles away. failing that, i will have to have a re-think, as i live and work at the same place, and there is only an older lady who i would trust. ive got a few weeks to think about it though.

[JillyPoo 0]

Ok, it seems that most everyone feels the same about keeping this to themselves and the people closest to them. I am also having all of the mixed feelings on telling anyone and trying to sort through why I am having these feelings. Right now I would say the battle I am having is telling my children. My son is almost 13 and my daughter is 10. A part of me says they will notice but they are kids and I doubt it lol. I don't want to put my weight issues on them. I have been heavy since I was my daughters age and worried about my weight since then. Neither one of them are heavy and I just don't want them to worry about that stuff. I always tell them that Mom needs to make a lifestly change... Anyone else feel this crazy about telling or not telling your kids? Sorry if I haven't made much sense :confused2:...