My surgery was cancelled...

BanTam · June 3, 2008

I'm really bummed. My surgery was cancelled because the anesthesiologist was surprised to hear that I needed "awake intibation" although I made it quite known whenever I spoke to the surgeons office and the surgery center.

My husband has also fallen off my "fan wagon" and is not very supportive of me going through with the surgery. Have I mentioned that my husband has like 5% body fat and has no idea what it feels like to be fat ??? ..or that we just celebrated our 26 anniversay ?

The surgeon rescheduled it for Wednesday at noon but I just can't have surgery w/o the full support of my husband. It really hurts me and I just don't know how to handle either situation. Most likely I will not have the surgery.

cathychatts · June 3, 2008

I am so sorry! I would have surgery and hope the DH would come around! (I guess that is why I am still single) Only you know what is best for you! You are in my prayers.

Mal · June 3, 2008

I am soooooo sorry to hear what you are going through.

Yes, the surgery is for you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve this. Your hubby might not understand, but you know what you want. Honestly I hope you do the surgery and you do it for yourself!

Thoughts and prayers

Tomasa · June 3, 2008

Will you be happy if you DONT get banded?

cherieinnv · June 3, 2008

I have to have the same kind of intubation, but nobody blinked an eye when I told them. I'm sorry for your delay. You are having the surgery for yourself and your health. If your husband wants to Celebrate more anniversaries with you, he'll understand. If he needed prostate surgery, you wouldn't relate, but you would support him, rght?

triser72 · June 3, 2008

YES! This surgery is for you! Go forth and conquer!

terrasmom · June 3, 2008

You go ahead and have the surgery, Girlfriend! This is for your life, to prolongue it and to make it better. You are so worth it!! If your husband has issues with it, perhaps he's worried that when you get thin and beautiful you will no longer want him? Whatever his deal is just reassure him and continue to pack your bags! You do this for you!! Do not let this small setback keep you from this life enhancing surgery.

Lunabeane · June 3, 2008

I'm sorry that you are disappointed. I would be too! Do you think that your husband is hesitant because he's concerned for your well being? I know that my husband would have been freaked out if the Dr. showed some doubt. Why don't you keep the surgery date and sit with your husband and talk about why he has reservations. I really hope it works for you.

cydli · June 3, 2008

My surgery was almost post poned also. My surgeon injured himself & called me the night before the surgery to let me know he couldn't do it. His partner, whom I had never met, agree to do the surgery for me since I couldn't reschedule my time off work....It was a little unnerving!

As far as your DH, I too had an extremely non- supportive DH. We've been together 10 years. He is 60 pounds over weight but has never actually gone on a diet so he didn't it. I just told him I was sorry but, I had to do this for me and in the end (when I was healthy, skinny & sporting new boobs) it would benefit both of us. He obviously went with me to the hospital and was really good about it but still thought I was making a horible mistake. We had been fighting since I decided to have the surgery and I thought it would probably be the end of us. The strange part was on my 1st full post op day I had come down with a really bad case of "buyers" remorse. I sat him down & said I needed him not to tell me "I told you so" or pass judgement or anything but, I needed to talk with him then I totally fell apart. I was crying and carrying on. He took my hand and said, as soon as the surgery was over he was ok, I couldn't magically take it back so, we needed to move forward and just thought ok now what. He beautifully talked me through my funk.

I was banded May 12th and he has been extremely supportive since. He shops for special foods I can eat, cooks for me and is constantly telling me how proud he is of me.

Everyones situation is different. I just felt I had to do the surgery. I could loose the weight by myself but, I'd done that a thousand times only to gain it back plus more every time. My DH has been great since the surgery & he's lost 9 pounds! He makes dinner for one and gives me a small portion & eats the remainder. Yeah for him!

I wish you the best. Good luck!

cathychatts · June 3, 2008

What a GREAT Post! We want your DH! LOL Just kidding! Great for you though!

Diz · June 3, 2008

I'm really bummed. My surgery was cancelled because the anesthesiologist was surprised to hear that I needed "awake intibation" although I made it quite known whenever I spoke to the surgeons office and the surgery center.
My husband has also fallen off my "fan wagon" and is not very supportive of me going through with the surgery. Have I mentioned that my husband has like 5% body fat and has no idea what it feels like to be fat ??? ..or that we just celebrated our 26 anniversay ?

The surgeon rescheduled it for Wednesday at noon but I just can't have surgery w/o the full support of my husband. It really hurts me and I just don't know how to handle either situation. Most likely I will not have the surgery.:thumbup:

Ok...I'm going to sound like a smartass here, but YES...You can have the surgery without the full support of your husband. This surgery is for you, not him. Think long and hard before you cancel it. I wish I could let you borrow my husband. He's been skinny all his life (his parents call him "slim"). I've been heavy all my life. He's behind me 100% and he knows it's my decision. My prayers are with you.

greythope · June 3, 2008

Ok...I'm going to sound like a smartass here, but YES...You can have the surgery without the full support of your husband. This surgery is for you, not him. Think long and hard before you cancel it. I wish I could let you borrow my husband. He's been skinny all his life (his parents call him "slim"). I've been heavy all my life. He's behind me 100% and he knows it's my decision. My prayers are with you.

I totally agree!! Go for it. Your husband will come around. And if he doesn't oh well! This is for you not for him.

WannaDance · June 3, 2008

OK, I can see why some are saying "go ahead" without DH's support, but I also understand completely the indecisiveness this brings to you. I don't know if I could do it without my DH's approval since I greatly value his opinion. I know he wouldn't say "don't do it" just ot be mean. Also, it just wouldn't seem right to do this to "us" without his support. This weight(loss) effects you the most, but, because you will be changed from it, it will also change your marriage and, therefore, him, too.

I think Lunabeane had a good idea. Talk with your DH and remind him of all the reasons you want this. I am sure you want it to improve yourself, but anything that "improves" you, can also improve your marriage, too. I know my DH (been married 32 years come September) would think long and hard about his own reservations if I really wanted something and expressed that to him.

I'll be praying for both of you to be able to talk this out --and for you to win him over!!!:biggrin2:

BanTam · June 4, 2008

My sincere thanks for all of your supportive messages. I appreciate them and I am feeling better now. :lol:

Turns out it didn't matter what either of us wanted, the doctors office told me that to have the surgery at the hospital with my complications would be about $3,000 more than we original planned. So the surgery is out of the question for now.

I am going to try to stick to my post-op diet because I've done pretty well and have lost 14 pounds. I've also told my husband he is my new trainer; he's in excellent shape.

BUT if this is another one of my (many) failed attempts to diet, my husband and I talked and I will try to have the surgery again next year.

This is a really great bunch of people, you know ?? :lol: I know that neither the decision to have the surgery or the lifestyle change is easy. Good luck and prayers to everyone on their new life !

My myspace page is myspace.com/anonamoose

cathychatts · June 4, 2008

Good Luck Tammy! You will remain a Jazzy June! Keep posting and pretend you are preparing for surgery, or have a "phantom band." We can encourage you and still support you.