My mom "spilled the beans"

aubrie · June 4, 2008

I got an email from an out of state Aunt I haven't heard from in ages just yesterday..... to quote her....."I hear you are sporting a new figure these days!!" the culprit? My mom. what is it with Moms? This only leads me to believe that now my entire extended family knows. Good grief. :cursing:

heartfire · June 4, 2008

I was only going to tell DH (of course!), my mom and one of my best friends but I did end up talking to one of my uncles about it last month b/c he's in the medical field and I wanted his advice on looking at the surgeons in Kaiser and he used to work for them (Kaiser, not the surgeons). He was a big help. He asked my reasons for it and I told him. He's very supportive.

My mom had bypass many years ago and she's very supportive. I've asked her not to tell anyone in the family as I'm not sure I'm going to tell anyone else about it. Part of it its that I'm still in process, so there's no news very often. I don't want to be constantly talking about how nothing is happening. I also did WW and lost about 60 lbs (since gained most of it back and working to get more off) and got tired of everyone asking me about it, can I eat such and such, how much I've lost, etc. I just don't want to deal with that again. If I tell anyone, it'll be just a few here and there, not everyone.

DH and I decided not to tell any of his family yet. His mom can't keep her loving mouth shut. Many years ago she and I were talking about DH and I adopting. He was still on the fence and I told her not to tell a soul b/c I didn't want us to have any pressure from anyone. We needed to wade through this ourselves. Well a few weeks later I get an e-mail from MIL's best friend all happy b/c we're going to adopt!!! WTF!!! I replied that we were just thinking about it and MIL wasn't supposed to talk about it so could she not say anything to anyone about it. I'll spare you the details but she went all drama queen on me and I had to shut her up. Pissed me off that I even had to deal with it. (We did eventually adopt and have a beautiful 2 yr old DD now!)

You have to be really sure when telling people and knowing that if you do, it may not be a "secret" anymore. It's hard. Hang in there. Let her know you're disappointed but then try to forgive her. She is your mom.

Best wishes on your journey!!

tmarie07 · June 5, 2008

Moms, gotta love them. I made no secret of mine, but only told a handful of people before the surgery that I felt needed to know. The day after surgery my mother takes my son to school for me. She proceeds to chat with the school receptionist who she's known for years. Guess what she tells her. A week later, I take my son to school, and here comes the Music Teacher, with all kinds of questions about it! 3 months later at the school field day, some mom I've never spoken to comes up and asks me how it's been after the surgery, because she had it too. Schools are such havens for gossip!

I'm not offended and everyone's been really nice, but I'd rather have told them myself. And believe me, I do ask them who told them each time someone brings it up...and it's a different source of the info every time, confirming my lap band surgery news ran rampant!

Tina