Heartbroken

[Eeyore 0]

Last night to my shock and horror I was dumped. After almost 4 years together. I'm still in shock and have gotten only 2 hours sleep (after taking some anxiety meds). I don't know what to feel or think. Everything is foggy around me. I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. I'm so confused I don't know if I should go through with it or not.

[sandibly 0]

only You can make that decision! I feel for you, I went through the same thing almost 10 years ago, My husband of 10 years left me on our 10th anniversary. it was the most devastating thing i've ever been through..... but also the great time to see my strength and perserverence. we have 3 children together... I've been re-married for 7 years now. and i truly am the happiest I've ever been. YOu are doing the surgery for YOU not anyone else, so just keep that in mind!!!!

[SpecialK 22]

I'm so sorry for this emotional pain you are feeling but on the other hand, your lapband surgery is your decision to do something totally positive for yourself, that you alone control how it is going to work for you along with your doctor and fills so I'd say YES, go ahead with your procedure. I'm assuming you went through all the hoops to get qualified for the surgery. I had to do a psych eval to make sure I knew what I was doing. She told me to please come see her anytime after banding if I needed help with head hunger or other issues. I highly recommend counseling as a great professional source of helpful guidance versus family and friends most generally tell you what they think you want to hear.

Best wishes.

[Ezma 2]

Now, more than ever, I'd think you'd want to be good to yourself and do things to make you happy and healthy. The answer would be easy for me. Just 4 days after my surgery, my husband of 14 years was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. The stress didn't seem to effect me much except for a slightly longer healing time. Plus I was too distracted to think about food, another plus. Hope you feel better soon. Life is full of wonderful opportunities - this just might be one for you.

[Eeyore 0]

I haven't even thought that far ahead. Yes I am doing it for me-I keep saying that to myself while I battle all the other emotions and questions that have taken over me. I don't have anyone to help me afterwards, I'm scared of being alone and something happening.

[slim2be 0]

I'm really sorry about your bad news. I think almost everyone in this world has been dumped at one time or another but that really doesn't lessen any of the hurt. YES, you should absolutely go on with your surgery! It will be a good thing to completely focus and put all your energy into YOU. As you start to heal mentally from the breakup, you'll keep feeling better because you are investing in yourself with good health and you'll feel better physically and mentally. Keep your chin up and truly know that things WILL get better for you! Good luck in your journey.

Lisa

[gingercat 1]

Hi eeyore,

I was saddened to read your post...a breakup is hard & difficult at

any time in your life but especially at this time,when you need

good support prior to going into surgery!

Don't let your relationship breakup affect your weight loss surgery

decision though, as you must of had good reasons prior to this

for having the surgery in the first place.

Keep strong & surround yourself with good supportive friends

and family & keep posting us all on your progress..You are not

alone!

Take Care

Gingercat x

[TerriDoodle 6]

I am so sorry for your pain....it sucks so bad. You WILL get thru this and you'll be better than ever. When you are skinny and hot(ter) you'll have confidence oozing out of pores you didn't know you had, so don't worry about that!

My only concern is that your state of mind could hinder your healing. The first 6-7 days after surgery can be kind of depressing as you are dealing with pain and not being able to eat to soothe yourself. It brings up all kinds of crap for some people. Maybe talk to the nurses at your doctors office, close friends, etc and get their opinion. If it were me, I think I might postpone the surgery IF it didn't cost me anything!!

Just my 2 cents.

Let us know how you're doing.

[AZChick289 1]

My heart is broken for you ... Iwish you could find someone to ehlp you when you get home ... I think you should tell your Dr about your loss and if this is a good time to pursue this ...

Your pain of loss will go away .. I am so so sorry and you are totally in my prayers .. Yes we have all had that hurt and a pain you can't take anything to ease it but time .. but it will go away and you will be so happy again . Talk to your Dr...

[mss 1]

sorry to hear of the break up Eeyore. Do you have friends and family around that you can talk with? You mentioned anxiety meds, is there a counsellor or doctor that you have seen in the past when you were having some problems as it may be helpful to meet with them once or twice while the pain is still raw.

In regards to post-poning the surgery, it is a decision only you can make, if you have it as planned do you have other people who will be around for support for you? If you defer it how long would it be till your next surgery date? Talk to your surgeon if you can to ask their advice.

My thoughts are with you

[Northwest_Nance 0]

I am so sorry. I was dumped after 30 years of marriage, right before our 30th anniversary trip to Europe. I was so devastated that I can't imagine going through something major like surgery right afterwards. But.... now I would say, what a wonderful thing to do for yourself. The surgery marks a new beginning in your life with or without a breakup... and it's such a positive thing to do. I would understand if you didn't feel up to going through it right now but I think it would be a good thing if you can manage it.

[Coco6399 0]

Eeyore, I am going to sound like a broken record here, but I am so sorry for your hurt and pain. I have been on the receiving end of being dumped by my first husband after eight years of marriage. He was a truck driver and he called me at home one night to tell me that he had met another female truck driver and they wanted to give their relationship a try. WTF??? I had no idea he was even seeing anyone. Anyway, I could not even think about food or anything for about two weeks. I know what my state of mind was so I would say you need to talk to someone before you make the decision to go ahead with the surgery. Get counseling from your doctor or another professional who can help you. Once you have the surgery, you can focus on getting healthier and loosing the weight. Believe me, he will come around again and then you can be strong enough to tell him "step off". I wish you the best and please keep us informed of how you are doing. I am sending lots of hugs to you.

[BandedButterfly 0]

I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I can imagine how painful that must be for you right now. Only you can make that choice, but I will tell you what I would do. I would go through with the surgery. I have been with my boyfriend going on 6 years, and was very fortunate to have him there. But if the same thing had happened to me, I know I would still have gone through with it. The surgery was about me. This surgery was about getting healthy and happy again. Just as what it should be for you. And if he didnt want to stick around to experience this wonderful transition in you, then that is his ignorance and loss. Dont let yourself miss out on it. I know this wont take away the heartache, only time will do that. But I hope it makes you realize why you wanted to do this in the first place...FOR YOU!!!

P.S. I also think that you will be more then ok with out his help. Its such an easy procedure it would be ok. Also, if you would like to talk, please friend me...I'd be more than happy to talk.

[Eeyore 0]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and prayers. I was able to take a nap for a couple of hours and went for a walk to get an extention cord just to force myself outside for a little while. I think I've decided to go ahead with surgery but instead of going home alone I think I'll get a hotel room near the hospital, if for no other reason than it will give me peace of mind that I wouldn't be far away and alone if something didn't feel right in the night. Thanks again everyone.

[mstrina27 0]

I haven't even thought that far ahead. Yes I am doing it for me-I keep saying that to myself while I battle all the other emotions and questions that have taken over me. I don't have anyone to help me afterwards, I'm scared of being alone and something happening.

I would say aww I feel so sorry for you, but i don't feel sorry for u I feel sorry for him. He prob. couldn't handle u getting ready to make a change for the better for yourself.. Someone that will walk out on you LET THEM WALK.... U deserve better than him anyway. I was alone. I went to the procedure by myself... before i left to get banded I dropped my son off at school, after they dropped my off I lay'd down for a few until it was time to pick up my son.. I thought i was going to die, but God saw diffrent. I prayed over myself before I got banded... that was the worse. and things are getting better and will only get better... Just know that he had to be in your life to prepare u for what is to come... Just keep your head up and know that everything happens for a reason and don't u dare blame yourself for anything that HE DID.....

U will make it.. and once u get banded plz let me know.... U are to sexy for his foolishness anyway....