First Steps take - nervous and depressed?

[SciTeach 0]

Hi All,

I am a science teacher in Michigan and I have been to one appointment and one session of the seminar series. I have diabetes and a BMI of 38 and I am hoping to really reduce the diabetes and gain some of my energy back. I am tired by the end of the day and I can see that my lessons, while good, are not like the ones when I was younger and thinner. I want to get back to that. I am very well thought of in my community but I can tell a difference and I know that things could be better.

In the title for this post, I state that I am nervous and depressed. Am I doing the right thing? Having the kind of change that I read in many of your posts is certainly supportive and I would like to have those changes as well. This is a drastic step to take but I am in need of something drastic since nothing else has helped.

I am very apprehensive about never again having foods that I currently enjoy, like a bagel. I keep finding myself thinking "Is this my last ....?" I have heard of others going out for their "last real meal" and having their "last ice cream" and so on. I guess that it is natural to think of things in those terms since eating will never be the same again. But it also brings to mind the condemned man and his last meal. His life is about to change and so is mine.

Being able to eat such a small amount makes me wonder if a certain amount of depression creeps in as you realize that doing something like sharing a pizza with a friend now means having only part of one slice, assuming that your digestion can handle even that. Eating is so social and such a part of our culture. Making this step kind of feels like it did when I moved away from all of my family after college. I got used to it and ultimately liked it but I certainly had lots of strong feelings about it before and during that process. I am not worried at all about the procedure, just the changes that will take place in my life. Will the good things be as good as I hope they will be and how do I minimize the negative parts?

I know that I am going into this with the understanding that it is for life. But, am I choosing the Lap Band option over the bypass because of my perception of the finality of the bypass? The Lap Band can be removed even though that is not a common procedure, but it is some kind of back door that could be used if ultimately needed.

I am choosing this surgery so that I can live longer and have better health during whatever time I have left. I do not see another option since I have tried other diets and so on and like most of us those things did not work or they did not last. While I know that dieting like that has a very low success rate, I guess that I do feel the guilt of being overweight and that I am taking the route that is perceived by many as being the easy way out, even though that is not the case. It is a hard way to go, but it seems to be made possible because of our sense of responsibility after the surgery and the immediate reminders that we get because of the Lap Band. If you do not follow the rules, bad things could happen (not just weight gain).

As I reread this post, it seems to come off as pretty gloomy. However, it did do me some good to write this down knowing that someone else could possibly read it. I have not talked so candidly with my wife but the relative anonymity of a post helps with the inhibitions.

Thanks for reading,

SciTeach

[sharont81 0]

Greetings -

I was so scared about my lapband and I have depression also. I have found for me there are certain foods I can no longer eat at all. I love Chinese food and can no longer eat any of it even if I make it at home. I also have found that I can not eat bread, Bagels, muffins, donuts etc... which is a good thing. I am a carb girl but since losing almost 45 pounds I truly do not miss the food at all. I have learned to drink A LOT of Water and flavored water. I gave up diet soda which to me was the hardest of everything to do. When I feel like I have to have something I take a small bite and move on. I do not want to PB and throwing up is not pleasant. I would not change having lap band and am so happy to have it done.

I am a school counselor like you working in a school is so HARD. There is always food and junk around, I carry my Water around like my planner book. I hope this helps. Hang in there!!!

[bandmember 0]

First of all I'd like to say congratulations on your decision! Yes, you are doing the right thing by having this procedure. I made up my mind to have the procedure once I developed diabetes, and I have never looked back. Don't let anybody tell you that you are taking "the easy way out". You are making a wise choice to improve your health and longevity. All the "diets" in the world don't take away that constant hunger that sabotages even the most motivated dieter. This procedure does. Pure and simple... I went through the grieving process that you addressed, thinking about all my favorite foods that I'll never be able to eat again. I actually went out for a big steak dinner the day before I began my 10 day fast prior to surgery. Surprisingly, now that I'm not hungry all the time, I don't even miss those foods. Once I watched the scale drop, my blood sugar readings return to normal, and my energy level increase food became something I had to do to survive, not something I looked forward to all day long. I will tell you that you'll need to have patience... It's been 6 months now and I'm still not adjusted perfectly. I've had several incidents where the food got "stuck" and I needed to have the (saline) Fluid removed from the Lapband after one of those episodes, setting me back a few months. Also trying to remember when to eat and when to drink fluids and keeping those 2 functions separated is a learning process! Read / learn as much as you can, (but don't believe everything you read), listen to your doctor and always follow his/her directions to the letter. You'll have moments when you yearn for the "good old days" when you could eat whatever you wanted... But, just as somebody w/food allergies learns to avoid certain foods, you will soon adjust to the fact that there are certain items that just won't work. Trust me, you won't miss them!

Congratulations again, I wish you good health.

[Froggi 4]

Congrats and welcome to LBT. I hope you enjoy your journey into learning and hopefully having surgery.

[babbs3772 1]

Hello and welcome - all the feelings you have sound very normal - at least I hope they are because I have felt them as well :laugh:

I am not that far from having my actual surgery and there are moments where I think about not eating a bagel, but honestly for me the rewards from this surgery are going to beat eating that darn bagel!

I suppose it is perspective and as you move along in your journey you may find that your perspective of what you think you will miss and what you think you will gain will change

Welcome again, you will find a lot of support, great answers to questions and some pretty darn funny people here!

[kirajh 0]

You are doing the right thing. There is nothing more than being FAT to make you depressed. Tell me,........I know all about it. I was banded last July and have lost an average of 8-10 lbs per month for a total of 93. The main reason I went lapband instead of bypass was the fact that I didn't want to "do without". Last month, I finally got the restriction I'm sposed to have, but if I hqave a craving for something.......hey, I have it.....just in moderation. Yeah, I could probably have lost more, but I haven't been deprived at all and HEY.................maybe I didn't lose................BUT I DIDN'T GAIN ANY. And still managed to lose 93 pounds. Only about 45 more to go and then I can honestly say........'I'VE LOST HALF OF ME!"

GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS ON YOUR CHOICE.

[kirajh 0]

oH YEAH, I forgot to mention that i'm from Michign too. Livingston county. Where did you have your surgery.....or where are you going to have it? If you want, e-mail me. kirajh@yahoo.com