Ready for a New Chance at Life

[j_war06 0]

I would like to start out my membership on this discussion board to tell everyone my history. I am 17 years old and am awaiting approval from my insurance this week in order to have lap-band surgery in the beginning of May. All my life I have been way way overweight and my mother had me on my first diet when I was probably 2 or 3. My mother has always been heavy-set and so was the rest of my family, basically I thought I was normal until I started daycare. I soon realized that the other kids were thin and had absolutely nothing in common with me. I liked to watch t.v. and suprisingly I did not eat very much, but when I did it was always something very unhealthy and fried, since my parents were not pulling in very much money, it was just easier to eat fried hamburger meat, mac and cheese, and Beans for supper. When I began private school as a pre-schooler I realized that all the kids had a lot more energy than me and always ate way more than I did. They started calling me fattie and lazy and whatever else a 4 year old's vocabulary can expand to. At private school they made you eat every meal, which is not good for an already large child with the metabolism of a snail. It is true that I did not like to play outside, or even with other children, I have always preferred to do everything on my own. I became severely depressed by the time I was in Kindergarten, having no friends that came over to play. When I was in second grade I plunged deeper in depression when one small kid exclaimed to me, "Your the fattest white girl I've ever seen." That was truly heart-breaking, from then on every two-three nights I would get in the bathtub and just cry and cry until my mother would have to come and sooth me and tell me that yes I was different than the other kids, but that doesn't mean I can't try to be friends. My depression continued to deepen, as I made friends I plunged into a life of anorexia in the 6th grade at 12 years old. I did not eat Breakfast, two-three bites and two sips of something for lunch, walk 2-3 miles in P.E., then come in and eat half a plate to nothing for supper. I dropped about 50lbs within 5-6 months and when I was still fat even after that, plus I had had 3 nervous breakdowns and passed out twice in P.E. I realized all this effort wasnt working. I was in with the "popular" crowd, yes, but wasn't happy. When they began to date and have boyfriends and even begin to kiss a little, I was hung back and gradually withdrew myself from them. At Jr. High you could eat whatever, whenever, and I did, and becoming increasingly depressed with everyday, I never had boyfriends, I think I had a total of 3 or 4 that would not even hold my hand. I became best friends with a guy, eventually, we became best best friends and started doing everything together the only problem is that he is very good-looking and I have never felt very pretty and have continued to eat, and go on diets, and eat and so on.... I am dating the guy now and I now see a psychiatrist to treat my severe depression, which is fading off well, but I still have times like today, when I feel like I do not deserve my boyfriend or my few friends who love me no matter what I look like. I have severe knee problems, because I was supposed to be skinny, my small bones can no longer hold the weight. I have never had life, and up until probably November or December I felt like the living dead, and wanted to die everyday. I am finally starting to live. I have withdrawn from public school because of the severity of my knees and cannot wait till I get my surgery so that I can go and Celebrate my senior year with everyone. I am ready for my life to finally begin! I cry everytime I think about getting the band, I am so happy. I look forward to all your advice on here.

[HarleyNana 10]

Good for you Jodie. I only have one regret about the band, which is that it was not available to me when I was young like you. Just remember this is not a magic solution, you will still have to make the right food choices, this is a tool to assist you in changing your eating habits. I wish you the very best.

[j_war06 0]

See the problem is that I do not eat unhealthy, yes I splurge a little, but I can eat healthy and exercise and never lose a pound, but let me eat a hamburger, I will gain 5 lbs just from that. So I already eat well, now I have to lose a considerable amount of weight to be able to exercise since I am almost bed ridden. BTW, I wanted to get it out, I forgot to mention it in my long story, that I am 235lbs. I am supposed to be about 110-120, my bones are so teeny tiny that I have to lose this weight fast. I can't wait until I can live!

[Alexandra 55]

Hi Jodie, welcome to LBT!! I so sympathize with your story--it's a lot like mine was and I just wish I could have been banded at 17. What a difference it would have made!

Just want to caution you that this is not a miracle cure or anything, and the weight will not fall off of you overnight. I've lost more than 100 lbs but it's taken 18 months to happen. I think that's a good thing, healthy and more likely to maintain, but it sounds like you have an expectation of the weight dropping off faster. With your slow metabolism it definitely sounds like exercise would be crucial for you--the good news is that you can start now even if you are bedridden! Get some light free weights and do some arm exercises from a chair. Every little bit helps and the more muscle you have the better your metabolism will be. When you combine that with the drastic cut in caloric intake most bandsters experience, the result is indeed weight loss. Just not overnight.

Banding is a wonderful thing that can really change lives. Here's hoping it will do everything you need it to!

[HarleyNana 10]

I was wondering about the weight, I read over it twice and didn't see it, how about your height? I think I missed the part about why you're bed ridden too.

I haven't had a hamburger since I was banded, I don't think they're the best choice for trying to lose weight, unless you're eating just the meat.

Just curious about the above.

[Alexandra 55]

Pat, she didn't say she was bedridden, just "almost" bedridden.

[j_war06 0]

I cannot do hardly any physical activity, I have an unknown disease in my legs, and it is spreading throughout the rest of my body into my arms and torso. When I lose the weight, it will take a little over a year, it will allow me to begin exercising, if I can, and will allow the doctors a clearer look into my body, which is completely clouded with fat right now. My entire body hurts all the time. That is why I am no longer in school. Right now I am 5'2'' and 234lbs. I have literally gained 15lbs in one month or less. I have also put on about 30lbs since January, in which I have been eating healthy. I do eat right, just sometimes I have to splurge a little when I am with my bf (only sometimes), since he orders the food and picks it up. I want to stress to all of you that I do not eat unhealthy because I can't, I have bad acid reflux and other gastro-intestinal problems (which will be fixed by having the surgery). It just seems like all I do is gain weight, just overnight, and then I will lose 15lbs all at once then gain it back. No change to diet or anything. Once I lose the weight then the doctors can check my thyroid acurately and can check for other diseases also

[dylansmom 27]

Hi Jodi! Welcome to LBT!!! I'm so sorry to hear of your hard times in school. I too was teased relentlesly when in school, and was so happy to just graduate and get it over with!

I hope and pray that this is your answer, and that you'll be on the road to better health very soon.

Best Wishes To You! ~Kelly

[TraumaNurse 1]

Welcome to LBT!!! I hope the insurance comes back with a quick "YES"!!

~Christina~

[j_war06 0]

Thanks for the welcome, I can't wait to share my experiences with you all

[Iluvharleys 15]

Welcome to LBT! Please keep us posted on your journey to get banded!

[j_war06 0]

well, I got a note from the insurance Wednesday, and they said no and that we have to appeal it, so please pray for me