I'm here to help...

[Great2BThin 5]

Good evening, Just got home from my 'date'. We just grabbed dinner and not a fancy one at that. I've discovered something lately, are you all sitting down? food just isn't that big an issue for me anymore. Whodda thunk that?? DH asked where I wanted to go and nothing sounded that appealing so rather than spend big bucks for something that wasn't all that appealing we went to On the Border, I love that place mostly their chips and nachos. They don't have one in Utah that I know of so we went while we could and yes I had nachos. It's my anniversary after all. Only ate about 5 or 6 of them. DH finished them off. So that was our 'big' celebration. LOL Also the cruise is coming up for all that fine dining. LOL Now he's leaving me tomorrow morning til Thurs. I gotta go down for my upper GI myself. I don't remember much of the one I had right after my surgery as I was still groggy from surgery, the minute I was awake they were taking me down for that.

Apples, no wonder you have such tiny legs with all that running! It's great to enjoy what you do. Does Tanker ride with you on all that driving. BTW, how does Tanker come by his name?

Julie, no harm in taking a break from everything so you can heal. To me it sounds like you aer over doing it. You have a good day and then you over do it and then you have a pain set back. I know it's hard, but you'll be the better for everyone if you do.

[llkb4me 1]

Hi All, Thanks for the congrats. They wanted her to start on June 7th. She doesn't think she can get everything pulled together by then. She still has 2 weeks of school left before grad day. Also wants to be home for my nieces grad party to see everyone before she leaves. Looking like we will leave after June 20th. She will be in Tonopah NV, north of Vegas about 3 hrs. That's what we figured. We will be driving and I will fly back. Haven't gotten far enough to figure out the route. I will keep all you ladies posted so maybe we can meet. Thanks for all the good thoughts, crossed fingers and wishes. We are amazing when we put our minds to good thoughts. lol

Laura K

[FemmeOne 0]

Sounds like everyone is really busy. Apples, I always knew it was hard work running a farm, but now I feel like I really get it when I read your posts. I'm glad you have the free time now to get some time at the lake.

Had my LB support group meeting tonight and it was good. We have a good group and I really like the support people that work in the office. I weighed myself and have lost another 2 lbs. I'll take it; I'm losing about a pound a week now.

Happy anniversaries!

[llkb4me 1]

Deb, Way to go on losing those pounds.

Laura K

[Apples2 19]

Hey Deb...nothing wrong with a pound a week. Congrats. That's over 50lbs a year. (I always need to look at the big picture in order to get there).

The work on the farm is really not too physically taxing...just a lot of running...which is good for anyone. We are sooooooooo automated. DH does not even have to steer the tractor or load the planter. It's all computerized. But not too many years ago (maybe 4) we were lifting 50lbs seed bags and filling the planter boxes. No wonder I have had over a dozen hernia repairs.

Lori...Yes, Tanker rides with momma. He sits or lays on the passenger side floor of my truck. Gets up and kisses me about ever 10 minutes and then settles down agin. We stopped at DQ today for a treat...his fav place. We usually stop there on the way to the lake but he was such a good puppy today that I had to treat him....good excuse for me to stop for a treat also.

We originally named him Tank and the "er" got added on. He has lots of knicknames also. Too many to mention. He got his name because when we got him at 6 weeks old, he was built like a tank. Very broad through the chest and paws the size of frisbies.

It's dark here and have not gotten my call yet for rides. Two more trips...8 miles north to pick up DS and 6 miles south to get DH. dinner is warming in the oven. Then time to hit the shower and bed. 4am is rise and shine time.

Happy Fake Anniversary, Lori! I would do nachos anytime over a steak. Sorry you have to spend your anniversary alone. Ours is Nov 10 and is harvest time around here. Very little time to Celebrate but usually bring dinner to the field and ride in the jump seat with DH for a few hours.

You all have a great evening. I sure do miss Janet posting like she used to. I understand, Janet...but just miss your words of wisdom.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Julie,

My husband's job is going quite well. He works three or four midnights a week. Being currently still in his introvert stage the job is perfect for him. Apart from hearing coyotes and an occassional dog being killed by them, his nights are pretty boring. He is a security guard in a very exclusive residential/golf community. No fences allowed between or behind homes, hence the coyote population and dog attacks. Most people have transponders that lift the gates for them. Only a few come to the window. He never leaves the huge, comfortable guard house. His temperament has improved considerably since going back to work.

By the way, Julie, the Dr. told my husband after my surgery that I should never do housework. So he does almost all of it. I don't look into corners too closely. I do light dusting of furniture and floors when company is coming. Very little scrubbing. Anything that involves pushing or pulling things or repetitive stirring motions aggravates my neck. I can't do anything I have to bend my neck over. Making the turkey for Thanksgiving just about kills me. I can't hold up my arms for long periods. The work you did wrapping glasses would have put me in severe pain. I have a lap top so my arms are resting and supported while I type and my head rests back on the back of my chair. I go walking and climb stairs for exercise since that aggravates my neck the least.

I have to say that when my first epidural made no difference and actually increased my pain the Drs. basically knew that I was going to need surgery and did not recommend more injections.

However, the time I had epidurals a few years after surgery, I had two injections with no problems. The first took care of the pain immediately and the second a month later took care of the residual pain. I'm going to talk to my Dr. about getting another one because I want to function a little better than I am right now.

You and your husband need to decide what quality of life you want. If he doesn't want to do the housework himself then he definitely should pay someone to do it. You probably need to reduce your paperwork and cooking as well. I know you love doing it, but its killing you, just like the food. You don't need to be a human doing. You are a human being and you have plenty of worth if you never lift a finger again.

Think of work as a food allergy. You have to isolate which allergies are causing you the most misery. Stop doing everything and let your neck heal. That may include massages and chiro. If it doesn't heal, then you probably need surgery. If it does heal, then add back the lightest activities one at a time and see how you do. Remember, you won't always know that night. It may take a week or two of an activity to know if its going to affect you. This may mean you actually have to tell people "No!" You may have to delegate many of your current committments and supervise them only. No hands on. You may find that the most liberating thing you've ever done. Learning to say "No!" can have a huge impact on your emotional health as long as you also say "No!" to guilt and shame.

I have rewritten my life to accommodate my disability and that's exactly what I realize it is. I do no volunteer work anymore. I focus on my job and my grandchildren. I do only what's most important to me. I do my gardening in bursts. For some reason being totally bent over while gardening doesn't hurt my neck. My butt is totally stuck up in the air because squatting with fake knees is not possible.

My husband and my assistant at work do the things that aggravate my arthritis and they also take care of the details that aggravate my ADHD. I'm left doing what I'm exceptionally good at: generating ideas, conveying the big picture with my co-workers, inspiring through enthusiasm, and teaching with empathy but pushing each student to become the best they can be and finding the little tricks and creative teaching techniques to help them become that. I am reduced to using my mind, emotions, passion, and spirituality. It feels like I'm pouring all the pent up love that's never been allowed or that I've never allowed to pour out of me just gush and overflow into the children I teach and the grandchildren around me. Feels more like a truer use of my talents than all the other stuff I've done with my life.

By the way, cute pics of Mimi. My son, Tim, was 5 when he was bitten by a neighbor's dog above and below his eye. They had to do plastic surgery and put him out to check if muscle had also been cut. It had. After surgery his eye was completely swollen shut and all colors. I took him and my 2 yr old to a big parade the next day. We were right at the start of the parade sitting on the curb. Every lady that went by with candy took one look at his cute little face with the pitiful swollen eye (no visible stitches, just spray on skin glue over the neatly trimmed and held together cuts) and poured candy in his lap. He made out like a bandit.

Great,

Exciting time in your life. Glad you and your husband have such a great life together.

Jewel,

Great going!

All the Lauras and Lories and Ladies and latecomers, the Julies, Janets, Jodies and Jewels, you're all doing so well. Arlene/Charlene I'm astonished at your determination. All of you, your love for each other pours out in this thread. I'm sure there are many who get inspiration from this thread even though they don't post. Don't mean to leave anyone out who's posting regularly. Apples, Melissa, and everyone else, you are all my heroes.

I've found out a little more about myself over the past week. As an Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceptive (according to Myers-Briggs), I've found out more about why people can react so strongly to something I say in all innocence, intending no malice.

ENFP's are big picture not-so-much detail people who like being around people and can be very perceptive about what makes people tick, but they can be overwhelming and misinterpreted because they think out loud. Ideas start to flow as they start to talk and initially come out half-baked. If people wait long enough and give good feedback the ENFP will pull their thoughts together and come up with some amazingly creative solutions and inspirational ideas.

However, on the way out their mouth, there can be abrasive, and what the easily offended find offensive, comments. Combine that with ADHD, which I also have, and the filter between the thought that comes in my mind and its instantaneous transmission through my mouth is non-existant. I'll think to myself "I better not say that" and its already out of my mouth.

When the people you see outside of work and your family are "church" people, who can be more judgemental of others than all the "unsaved" out there, the possibilities for offending people is limitless.

A couple of Sundays ago the choir was sitting down between sets and I said, "I'd gladly hand over my mike if someone better than me comes along." We don't have that many altos and the director has given me the mike for various reasons, not all of which have to do with my voice. I know there are better qualified people in the congregation and it was to them I was referring, particularly a strong gospel-style alto. However, it sure didn't come out that way and one person took immediate offense. I was horrified and said that wasn't what I meant. But I was so flummoxed I had trouble saying what I meant until the choir director rescued me and stated that we could use a good gospel style alto. I relaxed and said, "That's what I meant." However, two of the women didn't leave it there. They went and talked to the choir director who pulled me aside last Thursday before choir practice to tell me they'd come to him and that I needed to watch some of the things I said. I've not been that hurt in a long time. I've dropped out of so many things at church because I'm so afraid of offending people. I made the mistake of feeling safe with my "friends" from choir. I cried through the whole practice. Sunday, I talked to hardly anyone unless directly spoken to.

So, I was at Barnes and Nobles on Friday night and saw the book on using Myers-Briggs to help guide you on career choices. When I read about my communication style I started crying again. But it was more about knowing that I am who I am and there are others like me. My ADHD makes it a little worse and I found it terribly ironic that a people-loving gregarious person finds it necessary to stay away from people. I wondered how I could fulfill that need to be around people, and I realized that I do it with children--because they're safe. They just love me. And they see that I love them. And even if I sometimes say things I don't want to say, they give me space to staighten it out. It's no wonder Jesus said, "Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Cheri

Edited April 21, 2010 by ifyourstomachoffendsyou

[llkb4me 1]

Cheri, Don't worry about me being offended. I love to read what you write and we all have our opinions. By only seeing the written word you don't get the feelings behind them which at times makes things hard. But carry on we are all diffrent but one on here.

Laura K

[Charlene K 1]

Hey Deb...nothing wrong with a pound a week. Congrats. That's over 50lbs a year. (I always need to look at the big picture in order to get there).

The work on the farm is really not too physically taxing...just a lot of running...which is good for anyone. We are sooooooooo automated. DH does not even have to steer the tractor or load the planter. It's all computerized. But not too many years ago (maybe 4) we were lifting 50lbs seed bags and filling the planter boxes. No wonder I have had over a dozen hernia repairs.

Lori...Yes, Tanker rides with momma. He sits or lays on the passenger side floor of my truck. Gets up and kisses me about ever 10 minutes and then settles down agin. We stopped at DQ today for a treat...his fav place. We usually stop there on the way to the lake but he was such a good puppy today that I had to treat him....good excuse for me to stop for a treat also.

We originally named him Tank and the "er" got added on. He has lots of knicknames also. Too many to mention. He got his name because when we got him at 6 weeks old, he was built like a tank. Very broad through the chest and paws the size of frisbies.

It's dark here and have not gotten my call yet for rides. Two more trips...8 miles north to pick up DS and 6 miles south to get DH. dinner is warming in the oven. Then time to hit the shower and bed. 4am is rise and shine time.

Happy Fake Anniversary, Lori! I would do nachos anytime over a steak. Sorry you have to spend your anniversary alone. Ours is Nov 10 and is harvest time around here. Very little time to Celebrate but usually bring dinner to the field and ride in the jump seat with DH for a few hours.

You all have a great evening. I sure do miss Janet posting like she used to. I understand, Janet...but just miss your words of wisdom.

Apples, I burned calories just reading your posts today. Whew......what a day! I wish I had a cup of your energy. I hope you get a good rest tonight. I'll check in tomorrow.

[Apples2 19]

Cheri...sorry you were so devastated by your experience with fellow chior members. I hope you can work through it all in your own mind and find peace in the fact that you know you did not mean to hurt anyone with your statement. Sending hugs...Karen

[ladykcusa 1]

Cheri - I agree with Laura K. Please keep writing. We all enjoy your very intellectual, loving, and generous messages explaining your passion (your career). And your love of your family.

The Meyers-Briggs research explains our fellow humans. Figuring out which categories they fall into, helps us interact. One of our daughters is the training director for the Four Seasons hotel in Houston. She uses M-B as she works with the staff.

A blessing I was given is a natural compass in applying those principles with our employees. I could be an ambassador and deal firmly, yet efficiently with others. My husband - is demanding and aggressive. Absolutely no filter and many don't care for him.

We have been married for 36 years next Monday and compliment each other professionally. Have worked together most of our marriage running businesses.

Deb - way to go - consistent weight loss. I'll be delighted to take off 1 lbs a week - and, as, Karen said - 52 lbs. in a year. yippee

Julie - love pix of Mimi. Please go easy and take care of yourself. My husband had back surgery about 4 years ago and is so happy with the results. Hopefully you can avoid it, but, if that is the answer - time will tell.

Time for bed - second fill tomorrow.

Joyce

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Jodi,

I work in the Roseland community. It has one of the top three murder rates in the city of Chicago. Last fall a young man was killed with a two by four a few blocks from the school. The video made the news all over the world. A few years ago, a graduate of our school jumped in front of a girl about to be shot by her gangbanger boyfriend on a city bus. He was killed. Also made the news all over the world.

We are a private Christian school that struggles financially on a daily basis. But somehow God always pulls us through. Across the street from us there are six vacant lots(torn down homes), three boarded up houses, and 8 occupied residences. Over 60% of our students qualify for free or reduced lunch. Our school building is over 80 yrs old and is falling apart. We have no money to fix it.

Parents and guardians use their Childcare Initiative funding to help pay for tuition. There are some other programs that help them send their kids. Illinois has proposed a voucher system that would allow parents to take that money and pull their kids out of the failing public schools and send them to us. That would be a miracle if it passes. And the best hope for some of these children.

I see 58 children currently. I have about 75 contacts a day. I start seeing the kids at 7:30 am and go to 4:30 p.m. It's the only way I can fit them all in. I see half our student body from grades 1-8. They come in groups. Grades 1-4 I can see about 10X per week, 5 for reading, 5 for math. The older kids I can only squeeze in 4-5x per week. I'm the Title I NCLB instructor and I do supplemental math and reading instruction but many of my kids are actually special ed level. We can't afford special ed at the school but parents and guardians pull their kids from public school and send them to us because between me and their classroom teachers, they get a better education than they were getting in the public school special ed programs and a much better and safer atmosphere.

I have an assistant 2 days a week. Sometimes I think I'm out of my mind, but I really do love this school and these kids. Many of them I see for almost all their years at the school.

I know you're doing important work as well. God's work. "Let the children come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Sometime I'll have to compare notes with you on being raised Dutch Christian Reformed vs. your Judaic background. I really related to the books by Chaim Potek. Such closed religious communities with such an emphasis on tradition (and food). I enjoy reading about your various traditions and celebrations.

Cheri

Cheri...either you are a saint or crazy like me....as im no saint. lol I woudnt work for a yeshivah at all. They cant pay what the NYC BOE does. If I had money. I would work for volentarily however unfortunately I dont and since my ex passed I meed to make serious money. Its a good thing I love what I do otherwize id be miserable. We have charter schools in NYC but they dont seem to be doing well mainly because the union isnt allowing them to become autonomous. The UFT was created to protect the students and now they are just protecting the teachers and the students are suffering. Charter schools have a certain amount of years in which the students are being tested to determine whether the school is succeeding. The problem being..the students are coming from failing schools so these students who were now failing come to the charter schools and they have to get them up to grade level in a year....which cant happen so when the students take the acheivement tests they fail...so the schools are "supposedly failing and no one is taking into account that the kids are progressing and after one to two years of remediation and tutoring etc etc....they are at grade level but by that time theyve allready been cited to close due to failing students. Its a no win situation.

We also are trying to pass the voucher system here, as of yet its a no go. I would love it as I pay for private school education for my daughter. In additon I pay the taxes in my district for the Public Schools even if I dont send my child there.

As of today, the BOE will pay for private school special education only if you sue them because there is no appropriate placement for the child to go to. Most programs are not appropriate at all for any child so it is fairly easy to make a case. The catch?? If you want to send your child to a catholic or Jewish run school, the BOE will only pay for half the private school tuition as they will not pay for religious instruction. So you are stuck paying most of the bill anyways. Most programs cost between 25 and 35 thousand a year with only paying half thats still alot of money!

So I cant wait for the voucher system to be approved. Not sure it will pass however. Right now with the current administration Early Intervention has been cut and salaries cut 10%. The rates of services have been slashed so the agencies are getting reinbursed less and the teachers and therapists across NY have just recieved a decrease of 10% on their rate of sevice per session. We are going backwards instead of forwards. Early Intervention is no longer a family program and the rates have increased for centerbased services, we are going back to the old model which was being phased out as it wasnt working...but its back and again its the children who are going to suffer.

You and I can sit here all day and talk about the injustices of the political climate but bottom line....you and I both will continue to work in the worst neighborhoods for pennies compared to the corporate world because we love the kids and we love helping them.

Change is always imminent. The question is which way is the wind blowing and if we can catch it! You certainly have....keep up the amazing Job....if you were in NY id try to snatch you for sure!! if and ever you do want to move east....well youve got a job waiting. I suspect no offer could lure you away however.

Cristianity and Judiasm are very similar in the educational system. Yes, discussing the strenghts of each religion esp in regards to what we teach our children and general philisophical priniciples have always been interesting to me.

We will have to have some discussions sometime...soon. after we finish venting about the inequalities of the educational system and the children it serves. Which by the way...will never end lol.

To end....there is a phrase that is cited in Judiasm regarding the teaching of special needs children....and the translation is.....

"educate each child according to his or her own way" This is one of those basic tenets of Judiasm.

(Of course one can wonder why the yeshivah education is so sadly lacking in that area, but that is for another discussion another day..that I can vent about for hours on end)

There is a book that you might find interesting about people and Judiasm. After reading Chaim Potak...this should be a shocker....Its called the "Unchosen" im not sure about the author..I forgot I could get it if youd like. Its about the jewish men and woman who dont fit in and who are ostrasized from their communities in NYC. Not a pretty picture however its a true depiction of the role of organized religion plays on our children good and bad.

my prayers are with you...as you are truly putting yourself in danger for the worthies of causes...so Ill be thinking obout you every morning!!!

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Hi all,

Tomorrow im off the surgeon...cant wait to see him. Hope im getting a fill....im just starving now all the time....but not caving in...eating those damn mushy foods still...but tomorrow we shall see..I hope ill either get a fill or at least be able to eat normal!!!

I going a little crazy with the softies. I need food. lol

My Stomach has been making the most horrendous sounds....and everyone is hearing them!

gurgles and rumbles and when that happens...I know i better eat something fast!! I do and they go away for about two hours or so....but then again...and tis is how my days are going now!! So am anxious!!

Janet.....I use that brand as well. Its the best yet. I use it daily. Its the perfect shade...must use it everyday..however...must remember to wash hands thoroughly otherwise they get discolored I found. Do you find this as well?

OMG.... Julie Im so sorry you are in so much pain..but got to tell you your post had me in stiches...and I dont mean to be mean...I know you are in such pain and you need relief and arent getting it and if I could Id kick that insurance co butts if I could...but Julie....you are a funny gal. Your Husband...as you have explained is a loving and caring husband. Im sure he would not mind picking up after the house or hireing someone to help out! You do so much for so many other people all day everyday! Its now your turn to just heal!! Now sit down and relax!! yes, dont do anything. Read a book.

Oh heres one....I just finished reading "The Help" my mom lent it to me. (Its about the relationship between the help and the woman who hired them in the Missisipi in the 60's when Medgar Evers was killed and the civil rights movement was moving forwards). Now...this is a direct order from the teachers gallery.

But. really..Julie you need to slow down. You have alot on your plate. Take it easy, you cant heal until you do.

oh and you can vent all you want....I for one will listen with all my heart and feel your pain....you arent alone! Remember that! Post away!

Julie....Looks like every day is getting better and better....glad to hear about your exams....great going!

Apples..wow, I always wanted to live on a farm, but keeping kosher and needing to be in walking distance of a synaguage and a a community of at least 10 men to pray with three times daily....well that kind of never allowed for thought of living on a farm. It sounds so amazing! What do you sell? Do obviously corn. There is nothing like drining milk straigt from a cow...and churning your own creams and butter, eating eggs right away and eating chicken that you know what and how theyve been fed. This is real food. Whole food. Do you eat like this? or is this just my fantasizing about living on a farm is like? I probably am and you are laughing your arse off at the dumb NYker. lol

So tell us...Id like to know...after all I am that dumb NYker.

well....off to sleep now.....I know I missed a few...Eva and phyl....and Laura and Joyce.....and everone else......hope you are having a great week!!! Keep up the great healthy eating!

Jods

[ocotillo 0]

Evening ladies,

Got my concrete poured, a bougainvillea planted, started the hole of the plum tree and started the beef Jerky. Then I went to work and fielded a couple of jobs. Work is so busy, it's not going to get better either for a while.

So my purse party is this weekend and I don't even have a menu together yet. I think I'll do tea eggs (Chinese recipe) and the normal chips and dig with veggies and dip. It's an afternoon affair so I don't need to do lunch. My sister from Phoenix is supposed to be here too for the weekend. Should be interesting.

Cheri...it's too bad people can't see what you mean instead of taking you literally. I've had a couple of moments like you described too. You mean no harm, but it just doesn't come out that way. We all use this form to vent, cry, and share joy. You are welcome too.

Apples, busy driving day...it is fun when it's that busy some days....but not every day.

Okay, it's late....we had date night tonight and went to the sushi bar. It is the sushi chef's birthday today and we took him a card. Some other people brought him a pinata...it was pretty funny.

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Eva

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang

MIA yesterday evening - just too pooped..

Melissa - lol yep I am the calorie counter

Not much to report day from hell yesterday - just seemed like I spun my wheels all day long trying to stay on top of stuff and nothing got completed..

Jodi - I have been self tanning for a while - my problem area is my feet/ankles - I still mess up there - but ya I always wash my hands afterwards - I use the med/dark shade - I'm fair completed - I do tan but it takes along time and have to do it slowly (the real way)

Deb -WTG

Cheri - It takes all kinds in this world - you are the exact oppisite of me - I'm the introvert - did that test too - don't remember the other part of it - but like I said we all have to have a variety of fruits not just one - we are all fruitcakes :0) just different verisions :0)..

Julie - how did you sleep..

Apple at least this yr you won't be doing tons of cooking

Eva - Doubt I make the party. sorry - I just don't have the energy to drive - I have been waiting to respond as I was seeing how work is going - and it's not easing up... I don't get paid ot so I usually don't work it but may just have to go in this weekend..

Well off to the shower.... CBL

[llkb4me 1]

Jodi, too funny about the farm and dumb NYrs. I'll answer for Apples, as she is traveling today. They have a cash crop farm, which means they grow crops. I don't think they have any farm animals at all. Dang that really limits you on where you could live if you have all those retrictions. Keep telling us about your religion, I am learning so much.

Eva, What is "tea eggs"?

Janet, I've been thinking about the self tanners because I feel so pale. I will get really dark soon though.

Laura K