I'm here to help...

[1day at a time 2]

Hi Guys~

We made it to NC. We actually had a wonderful flight- clear, blue sky and zero turbulence! My parents were so excited to see Nelson! GREAT news--- Dad got his nephrostomy tube out today! The nephrologist was so frustrated that the interventional radiologist did not take it out, and he removed it in the office! Well, Dad is very happy and already planning what he will be able to do. Bath, swimming, etc. He has not been able to soak in Water since November- only showers. We turned on the heat in his pool and will get it ready in the next few days.

Melissa~ hugs.. hang in there! You CAN do it! We've all been there.

Hi to everyone- the connection is iffy tonight, want to post before i lose what I typed.

peasout.... Laura

Thanks Peas have fun in NC and thanks for your support.

Melissa

First of all you have to accept that you are a food addict - plan and simple - you have to never let your guard down around food or it will take over your life again..

Sit down this weekend - make up a menu - shop for it and stick to it - no excuse - Like Beck says if you allow yourself that one thing off plan - then the next time it will be easier to to it again - you have to stick to your plan - period - plain and simple

You can do this - you just have to get your mind in the right place and quit rebelling against yourself...

Write this letter out -

Dear Food,

I’m breaking up with you.

Don’t be surprised. I’ve certainly tried to do it many times before, but I always weakened and went back to you.

I finally woke up and realized this relationship is not good for me. I’m not getting what I need from you. It’s hurting me, not allowing me the space to grow in the ways I need to grow. You’re holding me back.

I know I’ll have separation anxiety, but I’ve stayed with you too long, way past when I should have. This just isn’t working for me. You don’t listen to me. You don’t give me attention. You don’t care about what I’m going through. It’s almost like you don’t have any feelings for me at all, yet I’ve stuck close to you, helpless and dependent.

I know you won’t let go of me so easily. I know you’ll keep calling me, asking me to come back. But please, let me go now.

In the beginning you were always there, ready to calm me and soothe me, but it went too far. I came to rely on you. I looked to you for everything. In all fairness, it was too much to ask of you. No way could you fulfill all my needs. For so long I’ve settled, afraid to go out there and find something better for myself. I need to do that.

I now withdraw my heart from you so I can be free to put it elsewhere, some place where I can be loved back. I’ve tried to break up with you before. This time it’s real. I want to be on the cutting edge of my own life, and I can’t do it while I’m still tied to you. Thinking about being free scares me, but I want it. I must have it. I know I’m brave enough at last.

I know I’ll long for you. I know I’ll think of you a lot, especially during those hard times. I know I’ll be tempted to come back to you. But this time I’ve got a plan, things I’m prepared to do when I get lonely and sad. I’ve been thinking of other ways to Celebrate when I’m happy or proud. I have remedies in place for being bored or tired.

At this point you’re a troublemaker in my life and I intend to keep my emotional distance from you. So in a way, this is goodbye. Of course, I’ll still come into contact with you day to day, but let’s just be friends, not lovers.

Don’t cry (although you never do, it’s me who does all the crying).

I will do this I can do this you guys are awsome with all of you kind words and advice.

I would try the 5 day pouch test before you go back for another fill - and #1 eat hard Protein 1st when you get back to regular food - and if you do need a tweak they can put in 2 of the 4 they took out...

What's your drug of choice (food) - starches - sweets - high fat ?? What did you eat at Ihop..

I love hasbrowns and pancakes I could nto eat them and now. Basically I love starches - sweets I don't think high fat is a big deal for me

Personally I avoid eating out too much as it is when I have the hardest time making good food choices..

What was the reason you got banded??? Why did you resort to major surgery to help you loose weight - Why do you want to lose the weight..

Give us the reason...

My reason was so I could not deal with all the health issues I have. Sometimes I can get sad cause I still take BS and BP meds and that sucks I really really want off my BS meds but they only will lower it. I want them to let me try it on my own with diet and exercise but then again I am not in control of that now.I also want to be there for my family and be able to run around and not struggle to walk or breathe. I want to be a good example for my son. Like you said I am a food addict and are drug of choice is always around

You can do this girl - you have started it - you are just rebelling against yourself - Why (I think I am scarred to get all the attention due to the abuse my ex husband did to me that is whay I believe I started to emotional eat. If I get below 200 for me is a scary place for me I am sure there is more of a reason but that is what I can think of) - you know that answer we don't - Yep this losing weight is hard work - it's hard to change our way of eating - but it's do able -

[IndioGirl55 32]

Melissa - Hugs Hugs Hugs... #1 food isn't the answer - #2 You are in a good relationship now (I assume) so leave the past where it belongs - in the past...

Since you have bs issues - you have to watch the carbs - you know this - it's ok to have some - budget a little into your diet every day - I have to have some - so I usually save them for dinner when I am the weakest. Measure 1/2 cup of whatever and eat that - and no more - throw the rest away so that you aren't tempted to eat more or stick it in the fridge for the next day...

Exercise will help - are you getting any???

Does your insurance cover seeing a shrink - this maybe the little extra help you need to get over your past abuse issues.

My Mom was abusive - my DS Dad was abusive - so I have been there done that so I understand.. I don't know what to say about the attention from others - I love the complements - i eat it up - makes me feel good about me - ya I have some attention from men when I have gone out - but it's usually in a bar/dancing and I'm just not interest in getting involved - I know that the majority of men you meet in these places all want one thing - I'm done looking for love in all the wrong places - I am happy being single 99.99% of the time. Maybe that's from all my bad past relationships - maybe I am protecting myself - but I don't care - I am happy with my life and I don't need a man to complete me - but again - I'm older and even our happliy married pple says if something happen to their DHs they wouldn't get married again..

I guess I am pretty superficail - I don't over analize things I just go with the flow... I live each day as it comes and I don't worry about what tomorrow is going to bring - imho you gotta live for the moment

So I guess what I am saying is take one day at a time - take one meal at a time - and if you mess up - then that means that the next meal you are going to have to make up for the mess up - so that means less food - and I don't want less food - so that keeps me from eating the junk in the lunch room - and gf there is tons - I just walk by and say - I want my lunch so I will say no to these Cookies - that one cookie is 200 cal my whole lunch is 200 cal and I know that I won't be full from the cookie but will be from my lunch..

I guess abuse is why I ate - I don't know - I never thought so - but maybe it is - I use food for comfort I guess it's my love.. But like that letter to food - it's the abuser - it's hurting us - so we have to break up w/it..

Make the menu for the week - allow for a small amount of the food you love - but within your calorie budget - even with the band I still am a volume eater for the least amount of calories - so that I can have the full feeling - 99.9% of the time I always eat my pt 1st then veggies then my starch - lately though w/this last fill there hasn't been too much room for starches and haven't been craving them like I use to..

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang..

All your talk about cakes - I guess Andrew was in the mood for one too - he made cupcakes last night then proceeded to tell me how good they were..

Well I had one - then asked him to cover them up and put them in his room (he's so good - he did it)- there was frosting left over - I threw it in the thrash but then took it out and ran it under the faucet to wash was left in it out..

My Mom didn't bake bunny cakes - we had easter baskets with candy and egg hunt - My Mom's suicide attempt when I was 5 when I found her on the floor w/wrist slit must have been right before easter - cuz I remember my Aunt coming over to watch us (guess my dad went to see my mom in the hospital) on Easter morning and we she brought robin eggs (my 1st time having them) and that was the 1st easter we had store bought baskets - my mom always made our baskets.. That's my Childhood memory of Easter - Guess not the greatest..

Eva - Hugs to you on the food struggles - I guess since I don't eat out often - I don't have too much of a problem and I cook separate for myself - I cook for Andrew - but we like diff foods - Well except for last night he wanted fried chicken - so I made him some and then I made me a one pot wonder with the rest of the chicken - didn't bother me - I had a bite but that was it - I know that if I want to be healthy I can't eat that stuff - it's not about diet - it's about healthy for me..

Jodi - don't beat yourself up over the roll - no biggie you can have them every now and then just not every day - just not every meal...

Apples - why a cat scan?? What are they looking for??

Julie - Glad you got to meet DD BF - hopefully they will slow down - but you know some pple get married right away and live happliy ever after...

Great - Never been to Hawaii - Think I will have to try it .. Enjoy - I've been to Glennwood Springs - my Xstepson lived in Grand Junction - we went there to pick him up and put his bro in a rehab in Glennwood Springs - had Breakfast or lunch their in some salon type place - it was beautiful area - isn't it where Doc Holiday is buried ??

Charlene - You are doing so well - Am very proud of you..

I went to the gym this a.m. cuz of that cupcake :0) have washed the back patio off - it was a mess from all the wind/dirt we had the other day -

Need to go finish cleaning up...

CBL

[1day at a time 2]

Melissa - Hugs Hugs Hugs... #1 food isn't the answer - #2 You are in a good relationship now (I assume) Yes I am in a fantastic relationship so leave the past where it belongs - in the past... problem with this is now Alex my son wants to communicate and get to know his Dad which involves me b/c I figured ig I make peace with him Alex would not worry he is hurting me.

Since you have bs issues - you have to watch the carbs - you know this - it's ok to have some - budget a little into your diet every day - I have to have some - so I usually save them for dinner when I am the weakest. Measure 1/2 cup of whatever and eat that - and no more - throw the rest away so that you aren't tempted to eat more or stick it in the fridge for the next day...

Exercise will help - are you getting any??? Not to much just walking 15 -30mins

Does your insurance cover seeing a shrink - this maybe the little extra help Yes I can but it was $50 a visit and he wanted to see me weekly which hurt me income wise you need to get over your past abuse issues.

My Mom was abusive - my DS Dad was abusive - so I have been there done that so I understand.. I don't know what to say about the attention from others - I love the complements - i eat it up - makes me feel good about me - ya I have some attention from men when I have gone out - but it's usually in a bar/dancing and I'm just not interest in getting involved - I know that the majority of men you meet in these places all want one thing - I'm done looking for love in all the wrong places - I am happy being single 99.99% of the time. Maybe that's from all my bad past relationships - maybe I am protecting myself - but I don't care - I am happy with my life and I don't need a man to complete me - but again - I'm older and even our happliy married pple says if something happen to their DHs they wouldn't get married again..

I guess I am pretty superficail - I don't over analize things I just go with the flow... I live each day as it comes and I don't worry about what tomorrow is going to bring - imho you gotta live for the moment

So I guess what I am saying is take one day at a time - take one meal at a time - and if you mess up - then that means that the next meal you are going to have to make up for the mess up - so that means less food - and I don't want less food - so that keeps me from eating the junk in the lunch room - and gf there is tons - I just walk by and say - I want my lunch so I will say no to these Cookies - that one cookie is 200 cal my whole lunch is 200 cal and I know that I won't be full from the cookie but will be from my lunch..

I guess abuse is why I ate - I don't know - I never thought so - but maybe it is - I use food for comfort I guess it's my love.. But like that letter to food - it's the abuser - it's hurting us - so we have to break up w/it..

Make the menu for the week - allow for a small amount of the food you love - but within your calorie budget - even with the band I still am a volume eater for the least amount of calories - so that I can have the full feeling - 99.9% of the time I always eat my pt 1st then veggies then my starch - lately though w/this last fill there hasn't been too much room for starches and haven't been craving them like I use to..

Thank you so much I put my quotes in pink you are so awesome thanks for all your advice

[ladykcusa 1]

Laura - Nelson looks like such a good little boy and so happy. He is lucky to have such loving parents. Sending wishes for a lovely visit with your folks and Easter dinner.< /p>

Janet - WOW did I ever love the letter you suggested for Melissa. Powerful.

Julie - I agree, we want to see our children happy. The trends today of tattos and piercing (and clothes) are difficult for us to appreciate. Hope they do take their time and take it slow.

Had PT this a.m. and it is a gloomy rainey day in K.C. I'm meeting another bander today for coffee and sharing experiences.

Happy Easter to all.

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Hi guys~

Apples, hope you get some answers. Are you having pain, or just time to kick your tires and change oil? Good luck.

Janet~Thanks for the info. LOVE that letter. Great reminder.

Julie~ Don't judge the book on its cover. Cap, skinny, piercings... he might just be the lid for her pot! HUGS.

Thanks LakyKC~ Nice words. : )

NYSpark~ Rolls, ahh, so tempting. It's ok, don't knock yourself over that. You are doing so good. It's ok, it's a holiday.

Eva~Fungus in the lungus doesn't sound fun! And it's titer.

This morning got up real early with my mom and helped with breakfast. The sunrise was just breathtaking this morning. My sister took nels to a transportation museum about an hour away. He's in heaven riding trains and looking at cars and airplanes! It was also good for her to get out and walk and have a change of scenery. My Dad has been talking about wanting a swivel lazy boy chair so he can turn around and see the lake when he's in the sunroom. I just picked up the phone and asked what they had in inventory and BOUGHT IT. They will deliver next week. Everything on my mom's list I am like BAM, give it to me! NEXT! It's so easy to do this though when you come in fresh. They have been in battle for so long, everyone is just turning in circles. I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned fridge and pulled to deck chairs two the deck that dad can use. He needs to get out and get fresh air.

I need to go, but wanted to say hi and have my little LBT fix. : )

peasout.. Laura

Edited April 2, 2010 by peascorps

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

sunrise on the lake

[phyllser 3]

sunrise on the lake

Gorgeous!!

I'm not a morning person so I don't see the sunrise very often!! Like never!!

LOL

[Apples2 19]

Laura....thanks for sharing your sunrise.

Melissa...thanks for sharing your reason for struggles. It's not easy sharing things like that. And, I really do understand what you are going through. Hope you did not take my little lecture yesterday as being too tough. You're one of us and when one is suffering, we all feel it. Hugs.

My CAT scan was my annual with kidney specialist. Just to see what I have up there and where they sit compared to last CAT, etc. I have a sh_t load and it's very frustrating but something I accept as a "gift" from God. Just something I have dealt with for almost 20 yrs. What I hate about it is that I passed this on to both my sons.

This trip to the doc disrupted my day since I had to travel a ways. Now it's time to get my butt in gear and get things done. We have a very big weekend. Tomorrow our troops come home from a year overseas. Want to be on main street when they come in tomorrow morning and then a coming home ceremony tomorrow afternoon. Going out with friends for dinner after that and then Easter Sunday and some things I still need to prepare.

If I don't catch you, Great...have a good trip. Take lots of photos. We wanna at least be able to see the island through your eyes.

[ladykcusa 1]

Love the sunrise pix - Phyl - I NEVER see them either - I'm a night girl.

Apples - sorry about the 20 yr struggle with stones. Even tho you passed it on to sons, you will have lots of experience to make the journey easier for them with advice.

Have a great weekend.

Joyce

[Apples2 19]

Love the sunrise pix - Phyl - I NEVER see them either - I'm a night girl.

Apples - sorry about the 20 yr struggle with stones. Even tho you passed it on to sons, you will have lots of experience to make the journey easier for them with advice.

Have a great weekend.

Joyce

Thanks Joyce...you have a great weekend also. And, Happy Easter

[JeweI 2]

All packed now and ready to fly out tommorrow to visit my brother and his family. I have to take school work with me because I have 4 exams and a paper due the week I get back. Plus, we are moving. Hopefully all my planning will keep things flowing easily.

I told my brother I am on a diet and asked him to take me to the store. He said that was fine. He doesn't know about my lapband. I haven't seen him since october. So he is in for a big surprise.

I hit the 40 pound mark yesterday. 40 pounds gone forever. I have been down on myself lately but I think I have been too hard on myself. Doc says I am doing great. It seems like I am losing in chunks. I will stay steady for 2-3 weeks then suddenly lose 5-8 pounds in one week. As long as I am not gaining I can deal with that. I finally hit 220 which was my weight for about 7 years. It is my "usual weight" before I began taking psych meds. Feels good to get here but it will feel even better to get into onederland and goal.

The house is packed as much as it can be. We sign the papers and get our keys next saturday. We will be moving as much as we can that weekend then waiting for a friend to move the heavy things on thursday.

The inlaws are out of town right now. We are enjoying our time as a family alone. Now Jacob is at a friends house and it will be just me and hubby tonite. We are going riding because the weather is awesome here. Of course we will be getting some wings too. I have become addicted to those things. Boiled peanuts and sunflower seeds too. My mil actually noticed how fast I was going through the peanuts and she bought a whole case of them from SAMS the other day. Sometimes she can be nice.

I really am hoping that once we get some distance our relationship will return to normal. I think there will always be a little tension because I chose not to go to church anymore but I think the boundaries will be set more clearly. I won't feel so pushed by her.

Also, wed we did test on our own urine in anatomy. Mine showed high levels of ketones. Our anatomy book says that it is a sign of starvation. The group I was in started getting all concerned. I was starting to get embarrassed. My doc says ketones are a sign I am following his diet. I for one know I am not starving. I eat plenty. How do you explain this to a bunch of nursing students? It was sticky. I just told them I was on a doctors supervised diet. I have told 1 classmate about my lapband because we went out to eat and she thought I didn't like my food cause I was eatting slow. Ps I won't do buffet again. It was way to expensive for the tiny bit I ate.

I think eventually I will not be a closet bander anymore. People are prying. I am not embarrassed of the band. I am embarrassed of being overweight and the response people give if you mention it to them. "you aren't fat" "why do you need a lapband?." It is taboo to talk about so I just avoid the discomfort.

Melissa,

When I find myself struggling to keep on my diet I just focus on the next meal. When I start craving I just tell myself " just make a good choice at this meal and worry about the next one when we get there" Helps me not feel deprived because I am just skipping carbs for one meal. I would rather it be a struggle than something you give up on. A struggle shows you are trying.

Julie, Glad you have learned what is up with your shoulder. I hope your approval comes quickly. When your in pain all the time it can wear down your spirits. You have been handleing it well though.

[Apples2 19]

Have a great trip, Jessica! Happy Easter!

Melissa reminded me of what I omitted in my message to you, Jessica. 40lbs! Awsome! Way to go, girl. Your brother is going to be impressed.

Edited April 3, 2010 by Apples2

[1day at a time 2]

Melissa...thanks for sharing your reason for struggles. It's not easy sharing things like that. And, I really do understand what you are going through. Hope you did not take my little lecture yesterday as being too tough. You're one of us and when one is suffering, we all feel it. Hugs.

Oh I was not offended I love all the advice. I have been taking to all of you for a year so nothing offends me.

I hit the 40 pound mark yesterday. 40 pounds gone forever.

Awesome on the 40 pounds keep it up!!

Melissa,

When I find myself struggling to keep on my diet I just focus on the next meal. When I start craving I just tell myself " just make a good choice at this meal and worry about the next one when we get there" Helps me not feel deprived because I am just skipping carbs for one meal. I would rather it be a struggle than something you give up on. A struggle shows you are trying.

Thanks so much for the advice.

So everyone I talk to Janet on the phone she told me what everyone says I sound like a little kid on the phone LOL

Janet you are awesome thanks so much for the talk. I just love you. Can you love someone you never met?

[clagamdj 0]

I was banded on 3/29/10 and have not been able to get in the amount of liquid I am supposed to. I am supposed to get in 2 ounces every 15 minutes. I got in 6 ounces in about 45 mins this morning, and another 4 ounces this afternoon. I am also sipping on Water, the gas pains are awful, and I am not really hungry. Is this normal?