I'm here to help...

[ocotillo 0]

Evening ladies....sorry, I've been MIA. I get these weird spells where I'm in complete avoidance (probably depression) and ignore stuff I should be doing. I'm better now. I had a totally bad food weekend and haven't been on my scale and don't want to know. Wow....as I continue reading, I'm not the only one with food issues this weekend.........

Melissa....we got banded because of our food issues...we can overcome the little devil in our heads that shut off our common sense. We need to do that, both of us it sounds like. The walking certainly helps....I did some of that today.

With that said.....Janet and Phyl, loved the purses and shoes and your pictures. OMG truly amazing!!! Janet, your closet is a drop in the bucket compared to my best friend. She had a 2nd closet built to handle all her clothes. They don't hang neatly with spaces between the items like yours do....they are crammed in there. You do have a lot of shoes......hummmmm, I used to.

Lori....I have a secret....I love Christmas music too....however, I don't like it too early. The Christmas season is just overblown for all the wrong reasons sometimes and I don't want to be burned out on it....but I still love Christmas music. I will decorate AFTER Thanksgiving and I take everything down right after New Years if not before.

Apples, I too enjoy reading about your day....you also have a gift for expressing yourself. Keep writing....as much as you want.

Laura, hang in there. You'll have a lovely Thanksgiving. Nels looks healthy and happy, I don't think you have anything to worry about with his eating.

Okay, I'm running out of steam. More tomorrow.

Have a great night.

Eva

[Apples2 19]

With all this talk about the holidays coming up, I think we should all post how we FELT last year with going through the holidays during the weight loss stage (for those of us it applies to) and how we handled it and got through it. If we slipped with all the food around, how we got back on track. I truly feel these "real" stories can help someone that is anticipating the holidays with dread or stress because of all the food around and feeling overwhelmed about how they will handle it. I am sure we all have certain tips that could help someone get through the holidays without food overriding the true meaning of the entire season.

I will start with my take on how I feel about situations like holidays and social situations....soooooo many people, worries about who is watching what you put on your plate, how much you put in your mouth and the amount of food left on your plate when the meal is done. Who cares? Isn't this LB trip all about you? I have learned to let these feeling go. I can tell you that last year I had myself in a tizzy. Worked up all morning going to DH's celebration on Christmas day. 99% of his family had not clue that I had LB. 99% of them had not seen me since I started the weight loss process. I got myself into such a snit that it ruined my day. I was watching for the "looks"...waiting for the comments.

I have just learned to become very mindful of slowing down when I am around ppl when there is a big meal or I am eating in public. I usually never have problems at home but when I would get in a social situation I became a twit. I have really worked on this the past year.

Now I look forward to these situations. It's about family and the reason we are celebrating. I look at the lovely display of food as an act of love. Tradition and the variety of "family foods" is something we should enjoy as much as we can on these wonderous occasions. Yes, I get stuck on stuffing but I LOVE DH's family silly red sweet salad that makes it to the table every year. It seems to turn out differently each year because someone different gets chosen to make it with the SAME recipe. I attempt to take a bit of each of my favorites, eat slowly and savor all the great dishes. I have to also pass up the scalloped corn which was always one of my favorites but there are so many "favorites" on the table that it does not bother me to pass certain things up.

I think we get to a point where we learn to savour each bite and appreciate what went on behind the scene to get that meal to the table. Before, the plate would be piled and the mindless eating would begin. I always think of Peter Boyle...the guy that played the GF on Everybody Loves Raymond. As soon as the meal was over, he would unbutton and unzip his pants. Well, I am not wearing elastic waist pants (except for my yoga pants) anymore. Only so much you can dress up a pair of black stretch pants. I tried year after year.

My advice for all of your holiday social situations is to be very mindful. Know you are going to induldge in some things that you normally would not. Do not beat yourself up for it. Just make sure you watch very carefully the days b/4 or the days after. No, you should not have to totally deprive yourself or put yourself into starvation mode just to accomodate a few meals or appetizers. Enjoy them in moderation....we all need our treats once in awhile. What's so nice is we now have our tool to remind us and help us keep things in order and not out of control. But, it does all come back to us and our choices. Moderation is the key and picking yourself right back up after a few splurges.

OK...stepping down from soap box.

[llkb4me 1]

Apples, thanks, the back is doing ok today. Upper arm hurts more as that is where I ended up landing. Didn't know that at the time. Hot shower did wonders.

Also, thank you for your last post about the holidays. I think I was getting myself into a snit about them coming and how I was going to handle it. Most of my family knows about my LB. They think I don't eat enough. My nephew even said that to me last Friday when we had dinner together. Told him I was fine had squash

[llkb4me 1]

Oops hit a wrong key. Well to finish that sentence, I had squash earlier as I knew we were not eating til late with them.

I just don't know how I'm going to handle the cooking and what I am going to take. In the past Aunt Laura made alot of the food but I'm not sure how to go about it this year. Mom makes the basics, my sister, who can't cook, brings a relish tray or dessert and I made the rest. Don't feel it should be me this year because I won't be partaking in it all. Family dynamics will come into play with the holidays but I don't want to hurt my moms feelings either. Well better think this thru a bit. Glad you brought up the topic on dealing with the holidays.

Laura K

[Apples2 19]

Apples, thanks, the back is doing ok today. Upper arm hurts more as that is where I ended up landing. Didn't know that at the time. Hot shower did wonders.

Also, thank you for your last post about the holidays. I think I was getting myself into a snit about them coming and how I was going to handle it. Most of my family knows about my LB. They think I don't eat enough. My nephew even said that to me last Friday when we had dinner together. Told him I was fine had squash

LauraK. You are lucky to come out of your fall with only a aching arm. I am always in such a hurry and it the stairs get me in trouble. Maybe I need to apply the same rules to using the stairs as I do to using the LB. Slow down...baby steps...baby steps.

Posted the holiday stuff cuz I sure could have used it going into them last year. I LOVE EVERY HOLIDAY and feel like I truly wasted them last year getting stressed. I am one to not brush things under the rug but I need stress to NOT be in my life anymore. Stress is a killer people and relationships. I tend to try and figure out early on what I am going to do to get rid of it. Like my DH says...."When you think about it, what is stress, is it real?" Made me think. Do we make our own stress? Yep, I think we do. That darned DH is always right. There are times it really pisses me off!:w00t:

[Apples2 19]

LauraK...things really do change for us a lot when we live the LB life (especially at first). So many different things involved...as you talk about your family and all. Don't let your life with the band change your family traditions. Jump in and still make the food you have always made. Don't be afraid of it...be strong and base it on the fact that your family is looking forward to the things you have always made.

Great....you were talking in your last post about how you have this fear that you will turn into mothering like your mother does now. I had a friend about 15 yrs ago that used to make that statement all the time. I did not understand it cuz I had pre-teens then. But, she did not turn out to mother her daughters like her own mom did. Her mother was really a toxic force in her own life. Just by acknowledging it, she watched for certain signs...in other words...she broke the mold. You sound like a very loving mother.

Having a 28 yrs old living under the roof after being on her own (even though I understand the circumstances of her living there) has got to be very taxing. I am sure there are days were you have to hold your tongue (or maybe not hold your tongue). Hang in there...it's only a few months. Count to ten b/4 you know you're going to BLOW!

[Great2BThin 5]

Good morning, well I posted somewhat about my holidays last year already. My plan is to plan for my treats and go easy on myself for slips and focus on the family and traditions.

LauraK, I agree with Apples. Just because you won't be partaking doesn't mean you can't prepare the food still. That is unless it is something you resent doing and don't like to do. But if you like to do it by all means go for it. We have DH's family here on Christmas eve and I do all the fixings and eat hardly none of it. But they are all traditional foods and I have fun doing it and it means a lot to see them all enjoying it.

Last year I too stressed over whether everyone was watching me eat, what was on my plate etc. Heck, knowing them they probably were. BUt this year, I don't care anymore. My new body speaks for itself. If they want to gossip or talk about that cookie on my plate or whatever let them. I changed my life most of them haven't. Sometimes those feelings still creep in but it's different now. Now I feel they are waiting for me to fail and put all the weight back on. Before it was feelings that they knew I wouldn't be able to do it but now that I have it's more that. Guess my point is, if we worry about what others are thinking along this journey, we will let that rule us as the journey continues what we assume they are thinking just changes. Don't let them have that power over you.

Many of my family dynamics are very strained this year on both sides of the family. In some ways I am not looking forward to the family gatherings as I am just so fed up with some of it, but on the other hand, they are family and I do love them and want the holidays to be special.

Apples, I bit my tongue last night, but DH didn't. LOL For the most part I am doing pretty good with my daughter living here but there are times.........

I wonder was I really as mature as I thought I was at that age, or was I that immature too?? LOL I think I was mature, heck I was on my 3rd house, moved out of state, married, 2 kids and one in kindergarten at her age. She's still all about the social life.

[Apples2 19]

Good morning, well I posted somewhat about my holidays last year already. My plan is to plan for my treats and go easy on myself for slips and focus on the family and traditions.

LauraK, I agree with Apples. Just because you won't be partaking doesn't mean you can't prepare the food still. That is unless it is something you resent doing and don't like to do. But if you like to do it by all means go for it. We have DH's family here on Christmas eve and I do all the fixings and eat hardly none of it. But they are all traditional foods and I have fun doing it and it means a lot to see them all enjoying it.

Last year I too stressed over whether everyone was watching me eat, what was on my plate etc. Heck, knowing them they probably were. BUt this year, I don't care anymore. My new body speaks for itself. If they want to gossip or talk about that cookie on my plate or whatever let them. I changed my life most of them haven't. Sometimes those feelings still creep in but it's different now. Now I feel they are waiting for me to fail and put all the weight back on. Before it was feelings that they knew I wouldn't be able to do it but now that I have it's more that. Guess my point is, if we worry about what others are thinking along this journey, we will let that rule us as the journey continues what we assume they are thinking just changes. Don't let them have that power over you.

Many of my family dynamics are very strained this year on both sides of the family. In some ways I am not looking forward to the family gatherings as I am just so fed up with some of it, but on the other hand, they are family and I do love them and want the holidays to be special.

Apples, I bit my tongue last night, but DH didn't. LOL For the most part I am doing pretty good with my daughter living here but there are times.........

I wonder was I really as mature as I thought I was at that age, or was I that immature too?? LOL I think I was mature, heck I was on my 3rd house, moved out of state, married, 2 kids and one in kindergarten at her age. She's still all about the social life.

I think you were most likely somewhat mature at 28, as was I. I also had young ones with a ton of debt and knew we had to keep our noses to the grindstone. I also have a 28 yr old. See him most days...hard worker and does the 15 mile drive to work and is on time. But Holy Hell...weekend comes and he is the "social coordinator" with all his friends. He does come out and work on the weekends when he has to and does give up nights out if it is going to be a big day the next. But, kids that age are really into the social scene. It will wane. I can see it happening with my son. I have always wanted my DS's to have a good balance...know how to put in a good day's work but also want to get out and have a social life. MY DH was/is a workaholic and he put us through some tough times with me and the boys doing everything alone (even Christmas at his family one year while he worked). Ended up that I decided to either put my foot down or continue to put it up his butt. He finally did listen and we met half way. (Boy..did I get off subject).

[phyllser 3]

Off to the pool for Water aerobics soon.

I offered to make copies of the CD we use for someone, but now I can't remember what thread it was let alone WHO it was!!

:w00t:

If it was someone here, please let me know so I can do it! And PM address to me so I can mail it.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning - a busy bunch since last night..

Laura - Hugs - I am glad you all will be together for the holidays - that is so very important. All you can do is make the best of it and enjoy what you have today - don't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow - enjoy the day you have now - Hugs & Praryers - I know how tough this is..

How I handled the holidays during my weight loss phase and even my maintenance phase - as surgar is my heirion !!!

First of all everyone knows I am banded - the 1st Thanksgiving - DS & Family went to Brawely - GS at his Mom's so I didn't cook - I went to a gf house - I had a little bit of everything

Then came Xmas - as you all know to me it's a big deal to make Cookies w/gd's and how do you make cookies and not have some (plus they are my most fav cookie - frosted sugar cookies) - Well my trade off was - I did not partake in any of the sweets that were in the office - I said no - I eat lunch in the lunch room everyday where all the junk was but I just kept telling myself - you are saving those xtra calories so that you can have 5 or 10 xmas cookies when you bake them -

Well GD & DIL & I make cookies & tamales - I had 1 tamale and a few cookies (most likely like 10) - I also made sure that I went to the gym - I didn't skip any days and even threw in an extra one or 2.

Xmas dinner - had the immediate family and made prime rib - again had a little bit of everything - it's one meal - 1 day of the year

I too lost weight during the holidays that 1st yr and I was not deprived - I had my cookies I had my Thanksgiving meal - I had my Christmas meal - what I didn't do was to eat all the junk in the office - I look at that stuff as posion - that if I eat that I will get fat again - I won't be able to have my treats that are most important to me .. I made a choice..

Last yr I remember over doing it on the cookies - but nothing like before - but again I didn't gain weight - I had all the meals in fact 2 thanksgiving one at my house then went to ds house and we had another one - it's just a meal and not my last so I don't eat like it is..

So my advice would be to eat your Thanksgiving & Christmas meal - they are just one meal - have a little bit of everything that you enjoy and want but alway eat Protein 1st

Plan for your treats - you know that you are going to families homes and they are going to have stuff that you can't pass up - then pass up the stuff you can prior to that - Throw in a couple of days extra exercise and watch all the other meals - Plan Plan Plan -

But don't deprive yourself - it's a balancing act - but it's do able..

Apples I love the remark about the streach pants That's what was in my closet prior to banding - really didn't have too many zip up pants - now a days I won't buy anything that has an elastic waist (well execpt my exercise pants)

It must have been Becky O - someone put a tree in their bedroom... I may just have to go back to last Xmas to find out who it was :w00t:

Great - I do think we were more mature than our kids - I would say that most of us had families and responsiblities at that age - were as you DD doesn't.

IMHO they should act like guest even if they are family - keep room neat - help around the house etc.. But that's the kind of guess I am - I try not to be a burden when I visit pple - but age I think that's our generation - where as our kids generation is all about me me me !!!

When's the wedding - how many more days months ;0)...

Eva - I'm an introvert too - so I understand - I need my alone time - I need my recharging time if I don't want to do anything I don't have to - I am a grown up and I can do as I please - it all gets done in the end anyway - That's how I look at it anyway.. As to the food - well it takes practice not to turn to it in those times - Just keep moving forward and don't look back...

Laura K - Like I said - I have a little of everything - on those 2 days - make the family fav's - you can partake - in a few bites -

Tiny - I stay out of office politic's - but gotta say that our office does really get along well - most of us have been here for years.. Hugs as I do remember the day when I was invovled

Charlene - you leave the 1st of Dec don't you ??

Ok started this 2 hrs ago - am posting - before another hour goes by..

[nawlinzlady 1]

I saw this article on web MD about wii games, I thought I would post since alot of us banders are either already doing wii or planning on it.

To estimate energy expenditure, they used a standard unit called METs, or metabolic equivalent values. "A MET of 3, for example, means an activity requires three times as much energy expenditure as resting," Miyachi says.

According to AHA guidelines, light-intensity exercise is less than 3 METs, moderate-intensity exercise is 3 to 6 METs, and vigorous activity is more than 6 METs. An adult walking 3 miles an hour on a flat surface expends just over 3 METs, the AHA says.

The study shows that:

• Nine Wii activities required an energy expenditure of less than 2 METs.
  
• 23 activities required 2 to 3 METs.
  
• None of the activities required 3 to 4 METs.
  
• Five activities required more than 4 METs.
  

The most intense exercise was the single-arm stand in the Wii fit package, which required an energy expenditure of nearly 6 METs. "It's a difficult resistance exercise that involves standing up and lying down," Miyachi says.

The Wii sports boxing game came in at 4 1/2 METs, while both the Wii tennis and baseball games were associated with moderate-intensity expenditures of about 3 METs.

Wii golfers and bowlers may have to get out and do the real thing to get the health benefits of exercise: both came in at less than 3 METs.

While yoga and balance exercises didn't burn as many calories as other Wii activities, they help improve flexibility and reduce the risk for falls.

[Great2BThin 5]

I am back from a very trying day shopping with Grandma today. Seems my sister told her to tell me to be careful of ice, becareful she doesn't get too tired, etc. What do they think I am a kid? Like I don't know there's ice out there? (very little and we avoided walking on any of it, it was melted by the time we got anywhere anyway). So that set my mood. LOL But she was in a mood where I couldn't make her happy. Took her to a nice restaurant and she ordered Soup as she wasn't hungry, took her everywhere she wanted to go and we'd get there and she'd want to leave. I am worried maybe she wasn't feeling well. I kept offering to take her home but then she'd say no to that too. It was a day that required more patience is all but we got everything done we wanted to. I even got DH's Christmas present, he will be so surprised and excited as I got him a new fly rod & reel.

Apples, I am married to a workaholic too. My kids are so far the other way at least when it's around the house and off the job. I hear reports from their jobs if I am at them etc. about what hard workers they are there. But they just work, then blow the money on the social scene. Both of them have had cars repossessed even. Drives me nuts. It's all about me me me me and living in the moment. I'd like them to balance it a little better than that, but what can I do at this point. They say they are cleaning their acts up but the verdict is still out on that one! Why make a car payment when there's fun to be had. GRRRRRRR DH is a workaholic and I was always so anal about getting bills paid, money etc. that I think our kids have gone to the opposite extreme.

Janet, the wedding is in March, 26th to be exact so about 4 more mos. She's living in our finished basement so no one sees her stuff, but I still feel as you do, she should be more as a guest and keep her stuff picked up and not treat it like her teenage bedroom. It can't even be that it used to be her room as she's not lived with us in this house before. LOL

Gosh I feel like I have been such a downer today. Sorry, just some frustrations going on. I'm actually feeling really good, knee is better and better every day. Tomorrow I have the appt to find out about the other knee. I leave a week from tomorrow for SD. Which reminds me:

Apples, the only restaurant that I know of in Watertown is Applebees. Do you know of any others? or is that okay? Still shooting for Sat after Thanksgiving? what time???

[IndioGirl55 32]

I saw this article on web MD about wii games, I thought I would post since alot of us banders are either already doing wii or planning on it.

To estimate energy expenditure, they used a standard unit called METs, or metabolic equivalent values. "A MET of 3, for example, means an activity requires three times as much energy expenditure as resting," Miyachi says.

According to AHA guidelines, light-intensity exercise is less than 3 METs, moderate-intensity exercise is 3 to 6 METs, and vigorous activity is more than 6 METs. An adult walking 3 miles an hour on a flat surface expends just over 3 METs, the AHA says.

The study shows that:

• Nine Wii activities required an energy expenditure of less than 2 METs.
  
• 23 activities required 2 to 3 METs.
  
• None of the activities required 3 to 4 METs.
  
• Five activities required more than 4 METs.
  

The most intense exercise was the single-arm stand in the Wii fit package, which required an energy expenditure of nearly 6 METs. "It's a difficult resistance exercise that involves standing up and lying down," Miyachi says.

The Wii sports boxing game came in at 4 1/2 METs, while both the Wii tennis and baseball games were associated with moderate-intensity expenditures of about 3 METs.

Wii golfers and bowlers may have to get out and do the real thing to get the health benefits of exercise: both came in at less than 3 METs.

While yoga and balance exercises didn't burn as many calories as other Wii activities, they help improve flexibility and reduce the risk for falls.

Nawlyns - Ya I just saw this at lunch on the t.v.

If you are physically fit the WII isn't going to give you a huge workout - I say the wiiactive gives you a better workout (thye have kick boxing lunges etc) that the regular wii fit - Wii fit has the yoga which isn't super strenous - but it's still a work out -

Most of the stuff is balance board stuff nothing that really gets your heart rate up there.

But it's still moving - and better than sitting on your butt..

Heck when I was play the ping pong - I was swinging my arm - i just don't flick my wrist like my gd does - I get into it :0)

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Hi guys..............I feel like I've been away too long.. Took me forever to read all the posts again.. Got home at 1:00 from Bismarck.. had PT again.. I spoke too soon yesterday about having had no pain Sunday night... It was back with a vengenance last night.. The doc prescribed a different pain pill today that should help me sleep through the night.. Hope he's right... Anyway, I picked Mimi up and she is now napping.. Fell asleep in my lap and I think I got a couple minutes, too.. But need to get some things done, including this, so made myself wake up....

Cheri, I love that you are getting all these new comments about your 'tude and being sexy and all.. It must do your heart good.... WTG!!!!!!

Laura K, sorry you fell and hurt yourself.. Hope those aches and pains are gone soon.. The hot Water does wonders for me, too.... Take care..

Meredith, great news about another house.. Yes, you mother is probably worried... I tend to do that with my DD, too... We don't mean to sound negative, just would like to make sure our babies are always "safe".. You'll understand one day, too.......... Glad you are back on track after your slip.. Chances are it will happen again, but now you know what to do....

Lori, I get you about the DD situation.. Have been there way too much.. .. with both of our daughters.. Hopefully it won't be for long and all this little stuff will be forgotten... Yeah, when is the wedding again?? And by the way, thanks for the invite to SD to meet you and Apples.. Don't think I can.. We were just to Mitchell this past weekend.. I checked and it's 368 miles to Watertown from here.. Don't dare tackle something that far alone with this dang shoulder... Don't think I could drive that long.. But, otherwise I would try.. Maybe another time...

Laura, girl, it just keeps coming doesn't it.. I'm sorry for all these worries you have.. As I've said, I've been just where you are.. So, I agree, if your dad wants turkey done 10 different ways, do it!!!! If he's happy you all will be.... Hope you have a great time...

Arlene, wish you could get better...... I don't think I know what this IBS is... Hope things will improve for you real soon...

Tinya, when is your DD getting married?? What kind of business do you have yourself??? Good luck on the p/t job... Nice of you to do that to help her out...

Eve, sorry to hear you are struggling again, too.. Seems like an epidemic around here these days.. We'll all have to start listening to that Christmas music to get us in better spirits....

Nawlinz, does all that mean that Wii is good or not? I've never used one so don't really know what it's about.. Have thought about getting one if it is beneficial....

Melissa, how's your 'funk' coming? I think mine is a bit better........

Apples, I remember last year quite well... I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted for TG and Xmas.. I did have pumpkin pie with whipped cream and some Christmas cookies... but I did lose weight over the holidays, too... I may have a tougher time this year.. I think normal, boring days are harder for me than the special ones.... I don't really know what we are doing for the holidays this year... I'm sure I will be cooking, but not sure there will be anyone but us, Mom, and DD and Mimi.... Refuse to try for a family gathering with all the issues we have... Just like you, Lori, I'm not going to push anything, just see where it falls...

I did take the advice of some of you and made an appt with my GP for Friday.. I'll talk to her and if she thinks it is wise I will ask for anti-depressents... I worry that they will make me gain weight.... don't know if that's true or not... But I will have a frank discussion about how I'm feeling.. So, thanks, everyone, for all your ideas and advice.. I'm not as bad as I sounded that day..... Things just hit me hard when talking about rewards and treating myself well... I guess I'm not good at that... I've been punishing myself for so long I don't know how to stop....

Well, I better get some other things done now before Mimi gets up from her nap... I'm hoping my new medication is going to get me a better night's sleep tonight and be the start of another better day.. You all take care... Hope I didn't miss anyone... If so, sorry, I'll try to do better next time... TTFN....Julie

[Apples2 19]

I am back from a very trying day shopping with Grandma today. Seems my sister told her to tell me to be careful of ice, becareful she doesn't get too tired, etc. What do they think I am a kid? Like I don't know there's ice out there? (very little and we avoided walking on any of it, it was melted by the time we got anywhere anyway). So that set my mood. LOL But she was in a mood where I couldn't make her happy. Took her to a nice restaurant and she ordered Soup as she wasn't hungry, took her everywhere she wanted to go and we'd get there and she'd want to leave. I am worried maybe she wasn't feeling well. I kept offering to take her home but then she'd say no to that too. It was a day that required more patience is all but we got everything done we wanted to. I even got DH's Christmas present, he will be so surprised and excited as I got him a new fly rod & reel.

Apples, I am married to a workaholic too. My kids are so far the other way at least when it's around the house and off the job. I hear reports from their jobs if I am at them etc. about what hard workers they are there. But they just work, then blow the money on the social scene. Both of them have had cars repossessed even. Drives me nuts. It's all about me me me me and living in the moment. I'd like them to balance it a little better than that, but what can I do at this point. They say they are cleaning their acts up but the verdict is still out on that one! Why make a car payment when there's fun to be had. GRRRRRRR DH is a workaholic and I was always so anal about getting bills paid, money etc. that I think our kids have gone to the opposite extreme.

Janet, the wedding is in March, 26th to be exact so about 4 more mos. She's living in our finished basement so no one sees her stuff, but I still feel as you do, she should be more as a guest and keep her stuff picked up and not treat it like her teenage bedroom. It can't even be that it used to be her room as she's not lived with us in this house before. LOL

Gosh I feel like I have been such a downer today. Sorry, just some frustrations going on. I'm actually feeling really good, knee is better and better every day. Tomorrow I have the appt to find out about the other knee. I leave a week from tomorrow for SD. Which reminds me:

Apples, the only restaurant that I know of in Watertown is Applebees. Do you know of any others? or is that okay? Still shooting for Sat after Thanksgiving? what time???

I am looking forward to meeting you that Sat. There are a lot of different restaurants around 5th Str SE and 9th Str SE. Also, there is a food court at the mall and a bar and grill where we could get a salad or a burger right in the mall. There are quite a few stores if you choose to shop. BDalton books, Maurices, Christopher and Banks, Payless, Vanity, Herbergers, JC Pennys AND Fashions Plus which we would just snub our noses at cuz their clothes WOULD BE TOO BIG FOR US!

The only way I wouldn't make it is if there would be ice or snow to drive on that day. I will email you my cell # and we can talk the day b/4.

Your daughter sounds like a typical 28 yr old. As I am sure you know....us mothers tended to do for our kids. You can catch them being courteous to everyone but you. Working for everyone but you. When they are "truly" on their own, that's when you start to see how much they really do appreciate you and they know they need to be responsible for themselves. It will come (you are wishing soon rather than later, right?).

I guess I would just set up the rules and tell her what you expect as far as what choes are hers to do. I am willing to bet if you gave her some of the day to day chores you do, she would come to realize and appreciate what you do for all that live in your home.

We used to tease our boys when they were younger. DH would say that when they got their first home and had their children, we were coming to stay and were going to jump on the beds and furniture, leave our stuff all over the place and teach their kids how to say bullsh_t. Wonder if we will ever get that invitation.

You will get through this but just don't let her walk on you. You deserve respect and at 28 she should be a helping hand to you not causing more work for her momma.