I'm here to help...

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Apples, I completely understand your ideas about AZ. If we could get away for Jan and Feb we would too. I like your idea about a park. I haven't been to one but after seeing Phyl's pictures on face book I understand the attraction. The sense of community seems to be very high. That is so important. Until we retire, we have 4 weeks a year vacation so we won't be moving until then. We have started to look though and will continue to do so. One consideration for us on whether we go condo or not is if they allow dogs. I will not leave Charlie behind. Wherever we go, he goes. 20 some years ago when I divorced my first husband, I wanted to go into a condo because I wasn't sure I could handle a house by myself. The condos I looked at had a limit of 30 pounds for a dog. Well, that would have taken care of one leg and maybe a tail of the German Shepard I had. To make a long story short, I bought a small 2 bedroom ranch near my parents so I could keep the dog. We still live in that house as we figured it was more than enough for 2 people. My step daughter lived with her mom and had her own bedroom by us when she came on the weekend. It worked for us then and still does.

We have two trains of thoughts and I am not sure what we will go with. One is to get a larger condo in AZ and move permanently. The other is to get a small condo in both AZ and Chicago and do the snow bird thing. Time will tell us what to do. I figure if I have a grandbaby by then I will want to commute.

Cheri, Sat or Sun work for me. Maybe the girls can give us some ideas of what they would be interested in. We have a lot to choose from. A dinner cruise on the lake with an afternoon at Navy Pier is always a winner. There is the list of museums: art, natural history, science and industry, planetarium. The Chicago Symphony Orchestra is world class. A walk at the marina followed by lunch. Millennium park. There is so much more. Give us a few ideas, outside, inside, museum, show, dinner, shopping and we can make a plan. Heck, we can even do a Segway tour of downtown. Check out this link to see the tours available http://www.chicagosegwaytour.com/ . I have never done the tour but would like to.

Wish I could afford any kind of retirement place. Doubt I'll move out of the area with so many grandkids and both our families here. I'll just have to deal with the cold like my parents and grandparents and most people we know. We will, I'm sure, downsize. Most trailer parks around here are, unfortunately, not retirement communities but are for the poor and dispossessed. The uneducated, addicts, alcoholics, drama specialists, etc. Not fun and relaxing. Most condos are priced out of our range. They cost more than our house. I'm kind of leaving it in God's hands because I have no clue what life will bring.

Great ideas on Chicago. We do need people's input. The Segway tour could be wonderful for those who can't walk distances. What a great idea. I'm thinking we should have "It's a beautiful day outside" plans with alternate "The weather sucks" plans. There's as much to do indoors as out.

Gotta get going. Student coming for tutoring at 9:30. lunch with my friend at 12:30 at Panera. I love their chili. We may go on to Borders after that. I also have $10 in Kohls' cash to spend and there's a Kohls there as well.

Have a great day.

Cheri

[ocotillo 0]

Morning....

Janet,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Have a

WONDERFUL DAY!

[ocotillo 0]

LauraK, LOL I didn't take a nap...rarely do that, but we did have a nice day.

As far as Chicago....Cheri, I love the idea that you offered to use your house as a gathering area. That will be perfect because we need a chance "Hang out" and talk. With the last two gatherings, I think doing activities is great, we need to do that, but having time to just talk is important also. There are so many people with so many different ideas, it's really hard to organize group activities....my favorite saying is, "it's like herding cats".

Okay, I have to get dressed and get out of here. Off to pick up Apples for a craft show (mostly quilting) in Phoenix.

Later,

Eva

[sndycnrd 1]

Will there be any runners coming? LauraK? Jessica? There are 5Ks every weekend. Let me know if anybody is interested and I will find us one.

Cheri, when I say a condo in Chicago what I really mean is a condo in the suburbs. Hugh price difference. Also, downtown is not a dog freindly place. Dogs should have grass and outside space. Yep, love m dog.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Peeps

Busy with the kids - got a new fan installed - got a light for my kitchen (still needs to be installed) got new gas bbq - it's installed (hooked up) and ya I don't think it gets as hot as propane cooked hamburgers on it yesterday - We didn't look at btu's just price - it was already assembled and we got 10% off - so I will live with it..

Thanks for the Bday Love - I am having a cake this year - I haven't had a bday cake in years and to tell the truth I miss it ... A bday isn't a bday without one ;0)

Well got tons to do be for hair appointment at 9:30 - kids aren't great at picking up - sorta pigs

Well it's almost 7 gotta get moving - CBL

[ljv52 2]

Morning to everyone. Woke up to a nice sunny morning, already 30 degrees!! I can't believe this nice weather. I'm sure those of you down south are chuckling -- but truly, it feels so lovely and it's so nice to have sunshine!!

The one thing I KNOW we have to do in Chicago is go walk the Magnificant Mile shopping as we go -- must hit a Garrett popcorn shop so I can bring home some evil popcorn. It's just too darn good - cheese/caramel mix -- but so evil. It will be one of my "special treats". Since I was only in Chicago in the winter, I'd love to see the Navy Pier in the summer - so I vote for that. Unless the weather is unbearably hot (which it shouldn't be in June) I'll be more interested in outdoor activities than indoor, but that's just me. I love dinner cruises -- sounds great -- is there anyone coming who has never seen a Great Lake?

Peaches, glad to hear from you -- I didn't realize you had been to Egypt during your recent trip -- so this must be especially sad for you. I'm like Apples, I just can't imagine not living in a free society -- I just cannot fathom it. We are planning to go see King's Speech tomorrow (I hope). It's one movie I've been wanting to see since I saw the previews several months ago.

Sandy I'm in the same boat you are -- I have at least 5 more years before I can retire - we just plan to get a motor home and travel around staying at parks for long visits -- like a month at a ttime. Then if we decide we get tired of that we can always pick one to stay for a "season." I'd like to spend each summer exploring various areas - i.e. one summer drive to alaska, one summer travel up to Maine, explore Canada, see each and every national park. Of course, I'm hoping we'll be able to take our Aylah with us for part of each summer. That's my major plan and I can hardly wait.

Janet have a wonderful birthday today -- Know you're busy witih family, but should you check in just want you to know we're thinking of you.

Eva, glad you are enjoying your writing assignments - I know how you feel -- they are so much "fun" - not like other classes.

That's another reason for retirement - to have time to write -- would love to be retired and writing every day,. Maybe this year I'll find more time.

I've been a good girl and have kept carbs out of my mouth and my scale has been showing slight weight losses. I weighed in this morning and Im back down to 138 -- which I was at "briefly" a few times in early 2010 but kept creeping back to about 142-143 during most of the year. Then I had a wake up call in November and realized I was more like 148 so I've been behaving ever since and this morning I'm back to the lowest weight I've ever been since surgery -- 138. So, now to see if I can manage to lose the 5 lbs. to be at my original goal of 132 and then stay there.

It's confession time and I'm only relaying the information because it may help some of you, I'm not trying to preach or brag, just throwing it out there. The no carbs thing seems to be working for me. After surgery I followed my surgeon's rules to a "T" and never waivered and lost those 100 pounds in about 11 months. Then I decided to go on my "own" eating plan that I used to do -- more of a low fat type of diet that worked for me in the past. And I allowed myself to have what I thought were low calorie Snacks -- 100 calorie snack packs, rice krispie bars, fruit crisp bars, etc. etc. I was only have about 1000 calories, but I couldn't lose -- then I decided I was at a plateau and decided to "ride it out" -- I had had a fill last January and was too tight -- I figured I'd lose 10 pounds and it would loosen up -- well I was pb'ing all the time and couldn't eat much Protein and instead of losing, I maintained -- then I got tired of not losing so stopped getting on the scale and then when I had my health check up in November I found out I'd gained quite a bit. I finally went in August and had a .500 cc unfill and that helped the pb'g issues but I was still eating incorrectly. Around November I re-discovered the 5 day pouch test and tried it and re-read and reminded myself about the rules and why I'd had surgery and started to follow lap band surgery rules again. Now I could have saved all this heartache and trouble if I'd just listened to Cheri all year, but I AM a Taurus and very bullheaded. lol. Sorry Cheri. I've increased fats and I'm eating only Protein and I'm so much happier, have more energy and am hardly ever hungry. I used to get ravenous between meals because I was not feeding my body enough protein. Fats and protein make you more satisfied and helps you burn fat because it takes more of your body's energy to burn it than it takes to burn off simple carbs. That's the facts and it's true.

So instead-- I'm eating more fat than I used to (more satisfying) and I've cut out all snacking between meals. I'm still having my small amount of fruit with greek yogurt with Breakfast or lunch but that's really all the carbs I eat and they are the good kind. I eat half a banana and about 1/8 cup of strawberries/blueberries mixed in my greek yogurt every day. And I still seem to lose eating that so it seems to be okay. I love fruit and really feel it's vitally important to my body to have that every day. I'd love to have much more but I'll limit it until I decide to maintain again.

Anyway, just thought I'd share -- I've done the 5 day pouch test a total of 3 times since the first of November. I now approach my eating differently -- I allow myself a special day once a week where I have a bag of 100 calorie popcorn and maybe a small dish of sugar free ice cream. I make sugar free pudding with non fat milk and add Protein powder to it and it's delish -- that's my special treat during the week and it satisfies any and all of my sweet cravings and it's good for me and has protein. I stay completely away from everything else the rest of the week and look forward to that one day where I have what I'm craving -- I look at it as I can do anything for 5 or 6 days - that's how I've approached it and it seems to work. By the way, we seem to have a lot of food pushers at work and here's how I've learned to handle them -- rather than saying "no thanks" which no longer works because then I get a lecture on how skinny I am -- I just take whatever they want me to have and take one small bite in front of them and then go to my desk - and proceed to throw the rest in the trash. This only happens occasionally at work -- so it's not an every day issue but about once or twice a month I've encountered this and I've discovered this is the best way to handle this type of thing.

Like I said, I thought I'd share to see if it rings true to anyone out there struggling or who may struggle in the future.

Anyway, thanks for letting me unload my guilty conscious and share my most recent success with all of you.

Linda

[ljv52 2]

Here's an article by Kaye Bailey that really hits the nail on the head. Sounds very familiar to me for sure. My only saving grace was I did manage to exercise every day but the rest sounds just like me (and to be honest, like some of you as well).

WLS-Split Personality Syndrome

by Kaye Bailey

If you have undergone a bariatric surgical procedure to control the metabolic disorder causing you to suffer from morbid obesity then you understand what it means to jump through hoops. Unlike any other life threatening illness people suffering from morbid obesity have to prove they are sick enough to undergo surgical intervention and mentally healthy enough to adapt to that treatment and its consequences.

I jumped through the hoops to get treatment with hell-bent determination that if I could just get this one break, some help from the good doctor, I would follow the rules and comply with every request. I would never be "one of those people" who get the surgery only to briefly lose weight and gain it all back. I did everything in my power to convince myself, my doctors, my insurance company, and even my Lord that I would die a miserable sickly death of co-morbidities if I did not have surgery to lose weight and save my life.

And that hell-bent determination carried me well, for a time. I did lose weight and I did comply with the rules and restrictions of surgery. And I did praise my surgeon, and my insurance company, and my Lord that my life was spared and I was healthy, alive, and living. I suppose with all that praising going on I kind of lost sight of the path, left the course really, all in the name of living. Pretty soon I wasn't eating Protein first or drinking lots of Water. My daily exercise was hit-and-miss and a little snacking never hurt anyone, right? Somewhere the fighting survivor personality gave way to a what-me-worry wanderlust personality that didn't bother to look at the map.

We cannot successfully manage our health with this surgery if we enable split-personality behavior.

The minute we give up the hell-bent fighter and survivor personality in exchange for the happen-chance dieter of lost-pounds-past we are at risk of gaining weight, of feelings of failure, and worst of all: we are at risk of succumbing to the metabolic disorder we fought so damn hard to have treated with bariatric surgery. We cannot have it both ways. If we truly believe our obesity is a medical condition -and by medical definition it is- then we must yesterday, today, and always consider it a medical condition. We cannot be gut-whacked one day for the sake of saving our life and the next day abandon the dietary rules like we could a few weight loss programs back when on a whim we joined a strip mall diet program advertising "Join Now! Walk-ins Welcome."

You see, this bariatric surgery, it is serious business. There is no whimsy in the decision to get gut-whacked, no neon sign blinking "Walk-ins Welcome." No lose 10 pounds or get your money back promotion.

Think back to the days and weeks prior to your surgery. Like me, you talked the subject to wearisome repetition with your closest confidant. You put your personal and financial affairs in order. You signed a liability release praying not to be the rare death-on-the-table, a risk to one out of a hundred of us. You set goals. You made your expectations known: what you expected of yourself and what you expected from others as you beseeched their support in this - your last hope at saving your life from a slow painful death from the complications of morbid obesity. Your claims were heartfelt and emphatic: You wanted to be there to see your children grown and maybe grandchildren too. You wanted to live.

This bariatric surgery is serious business.

It is a funny thing, the way the mind works. The healthier we become the less we remember how truly sick we were before surgery and before weight loss. Similar to the memory of pain reported following childbirth, findings indicate that the more positive our experience is with weight loss, the less vividly we recall the pain (physical and emotional) of obesity prior to weight loss. This suggests when we fall off the wagon of dietary compliance it is not so much about a moral breakdown or environmental pressure (think food pushers) but perhaps we just don't remember how bad obesity felt. The same is likely true for a recovering addict who returns to the drug of choice: they simply do not recall the agony of the addiction. This could explain why highly intelligent people often repeat the cycle of recovery and relapse befuddling those around them.

Toddlers are taught very quickly not to touch a hot stove. It only takes three little sharply spoken words, "Hot! Don't touch!" and one breach of the command and even the dimmest child learns not to touch the hot stove because doing so causes immediate pain. Behavior modification therapy works in a similar manner for adults. Some are taught to wear a rubber band on the wrist and when temptation for relapse occurs the band is snapped in a "Hot! Don't touch!" alert that danger looms.

The problem we encounter in the recovery from morbid obesity is that the environmental factors that feed our metabolic disorder don't burn when we touch them. chocolate cake tastes good and macaroni and cheese feels comforting when we eat it. There is no sting from the snap of a rubber band, no burn from the heat of the stove. A 1972 love anthem recorded by Luther Ingram gave us those memorable cheating words, "If loving you is wrong, then I don't want to be right." Remember that classic? How easily it could be the theme song in our forever battle of the bulge.

I dare say the best "Hot! Don't touch!" snap for us comes when we understand the risk for split personality behavior following a bariatric surgery for weight loss. While it doesn't seem desirable to dwell upon the pain we suffered from our obesity it would serve us well to not forget it. Photos are a good reminder. I suggest not just the usual "before" picture, but how about a photo of your prescription medications or the CPAP breathing machine you had to wear at night, or the cane or walker you needed because your mobility was impaired? Those photo reminders will feel very much like a snap on the wrist and catapult your personality to being hell-bent on sustained recovery.

At LivingAfterWLS we use the Quarterly Self-Assessment 2-page worksheet (download here for free) to take inventory of where we are and where we want to go. The second assessment question is "What was my original goal when I had WLS?" This personal contract is an accountability tool to help us keep our morbid obesity in remission. And I'm pretty sure that for most us keeping morbid obesity in remission was the original goal.

More free downloads from LivingAfterWLS

Peer support also effectively nurtures our hell-bent personality in recovery. We can learn from those who are further down the road from us and we can tap into the enthusiasm of those new to recovery to boost our resolve when things feel redundant and routine. And who doesn't like having a cheering section when those baby steps become big accomplishments? Join our online safe haven circle of friends - the LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood - to learn what I'm talking about.

Keep learning. Continued education works to keep us informed, trying new things and having new hope that a remission from our medical disorder is achievable. And reaching out to support others becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we benefit from the give and take of a generous spirit. Learn, teach, share. We are in this together.

Now that I have laid this out for you I want to bring back the pom-poms and the cheerful optimism. The surgical tool gives us something no strip-mall "Walk-ins Welcome" weight loss program ever will: the ability to bounce back time and time again. We can get back on track and we can work our stomach pouch to manage our metabolic disorder. We have learned how good it can feel to manage our weight and we can do it again. So harness that hell-bent personality. Grab your original goal by the love handles and take charge of your destiny. I am here for you and we are in this together. Not for just a few pounds; not just to goal weight. We are in this together for the purpose of living. You can do this!

I say Amen Sister to Kaye Bailey - she said it all so well.

We're off to Des Moines -- love you all -- have a great weekend!!

Linda

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Thanks Linda. I'm going to check Kaye Bailey out. chocolate has been calling my name really loudly lately. Particularly M&M's. I just can't find a comparable no carb product to satisfy that particular sensory experience. But I know what road I'm heading down when I give in to it. The chocolate chip soy Protein Breakfast bars from Atkins come close. I'm out of them and need to go stock up for when those urges hit.

You and Kaye really said it well. Calories are not the key. You can actually eat more and feel less hungry when you increase your fats and Proteins and cut the carbs. And you burn more. And your pouch works better because it stays full with solid dense Protein. We need to follow the guidelines for working with our pouch and not against it. For weight loss, if you're carb sensitive, you just have to do it. For maintenance, increase the good carbs but be careful or you'll find yourself back in jeopardy. Keep the protein and fat high to control cravings.

Like me, you may also have exercise limitations. What happens if you are injured or get sick and can't continue exercising at the level you were? Some become exercise addicts in order to stay in their carb addiction. So they've never fully dealt with it. So glad, Linda, for the back up. Sometimes I feel like the lone voice crying out in the wilderness, but, like you, I'm a reader and a researcher. I'm not saying I completely avoid carbs. I have my relapses.And I think occassional indulgences keep you from feeling deprived and ending up binging. But I don't fool myself into thinking it's OK to eat carbs. I know I need to be careful even with good carbs.

Cheri

[peaches9 3]

Good morning everyone.

Loved the article by Kaye Bailey.. good reading for sure.. we all need a re-check now and then.

Cold, cold, cold here this morning.. and my HIVES are back. Oh my gosh, I am allergic to so many things.. and there must be something else I am missing... cause my hives were all settled down last week (after prednisone for 4 days)

But 2 days ago I started adding GREENS+ to my Protein shake, and whammy!! So back on the benedryl 2 tabs, every 6 hours. I don`t want to ask the doc for prednisone again! It is such a nasty drug.

Has anyone heard about alkaline vs. acidic foods diet..?? not for weightloss per say, but for better health.??

[Charlene K 1]

Good Morning Peeps

Busy with the kids - got a new fan installed - got a light for my kitchen (still needs to be installed) got new gas bbq - it's installed (hooked up) and ya I don't think it gets as hot as propane cooked hamburgers on it yesterday - We didn't look at btu's just price - it was already assembled and we got 10% off - so I will live with it..

Thanks for the Bday Love - I am having a cake this year - I haven't had a bday cake in years and to tell the truth I miss it ... A bday isn't a bday without one ;0)

Well got tons to do be for hair appointment at 9:30 - kids aren't great at picking up - sorta pigs

Well it's almost 7 gotta get moving - CBL

Happy Birthday Janet!!!!!!!!!.......and many more! Have a blessed day!

[sndycnrd 1]

Janet, I hope you had a wonderful birthday with your family. How was the cake?☺

I went to my first yoga class today. I am not sure what I think about it. The stretches were fantastic. Unlike any I have done before. The class seemed to be a combination of stretching, meditation and bio feedback. A little of the mind body connection stuff seemed a bit silly and kind of weird but I will try to keep an open mind when I go back next week. Some of the poses are much harder than they looked. I took some biofeedback classes years ago and I had that impression at first. I did see the value after several classes so I will stick with this for a while longer and hopefully I will see what others see. Has any one here tried yoga? What did you think?

[1day at a time 2]

Morning to everyone. Woke up to a nice sunny morning, already 30 degrees!! I can't believe this nice weather. I'm sure those of you down

It's confession time and I'm only relaying the information because it may help some of you, I'm not trying to preach or brag, just throwing it out there. The no carbs thing seems to be working for me. After surgery I followed my surgeon's rules to a "T" and never waivered and lost those 100 pounds in about 11 months. Then I decided to go on my "own" eating plan that I used to do -- more of a low fat type of diet that worked for me in the past. And I allowed myself to have what I thought were low calorie Snacks -- 100 calorie snack packs, rice krispie bars, fruit crisp bars, etc. etc. I was only have about 1000 calories, but I couldn't lose -- then I decided I was at a plateau and decided to "ride it out" -- I had had a fill last January and was too tight -- I figured I'd lose 10 pounds and it would loosen up -- well I was pb'ing all the time and couldn't eat much Protein and instead of losing, I maintained -- then I got tired of not losing so stopped getting on the scale and then when I had my health check up in November I found out I'd gained quite a bit. I finally went in August and had a .500 cc unfill and that helped the pb'g issues but I was still eating incorrectly. Around November I re-discovered the 5 day pouch test and tried it and re-read and reminded myself about the rules and why I'd had surgery and started to follow lap band surgery rules again. Now I could have saved all this heartache and trouble if I'd just listened to Cheri all year, but I AM a Taurus and very bullheaded. lol. Sorry Cheri. I've increased fats and I'm eating only Protein and I'm so much happier, have more energy and am hardly ever hungry. I used to get ravenous between meals because I was not feeding my body enough protein. Fats and protein make you more satisfied and helps you burn fat because it takes more of your body's energy to burn it than it takes to burn off simple carbs. That's the facts and it's true.

So instead-- I'm eating more fat than I used to (more satisfying) and I've cut out all snacking between meals. I'm still having my small amount of fruit with greek yogurt with Breakfast or lunch but that's really all the carbs I eat and they are the good kind. I eat half a banana and about 1/8 cup of strawberries/blueberries mixed in my greek yogurt every day. And I still seem to lose eating that so it seems to be okay. I love fruit and really feel it's vitally important to my body to have that every day. I'd love to have much more but I'll limit it until I decide to maintain again.

Anyway, just thought I'd share -- I've done the 5 day pouch test a total of 3 times since the first of November. I now approach my eating differently -- I allow myself a special day once a week where I have a bag of 100 calorie popcorn and maybe a small dish of sugar free ice cream. I make sugar free pudding with non fat milk and add Protein powder to it and it's delish -- that's my special treat during the week and it satisfies any and all of my sweet cravings and it's good for me and has protein. I stay completely away from everything else the rest of the week and look forward to that one day where I have what I'm craving -- I look at it as I can do anything for 5 or 6 days - that's how I've approached it and it seems to work. By the way, we seem to have a lot of food pushers at work and here's how I've learned to handle them -- rather than saying "no thanks" which no longer works because then I get a lecture on how skinny I am -- I just take whatever they want me to have and take one small bite in front of them and then go to my desk - and proceed to throw the rest in the trash. This only happens occasionally at work -- so it's not an every day issue but about once or twice a month I've encountered this and I've discovered this is the best way to handle this type of thing.

Like I said, I thought I'd share to see if it rings true to anyone out there struggling or who may struggle in the future.

Anyway, thanks for letting me unload my guilty conscious and share my most recent success with all of you.

Linda

Thank you for posting this. It helps me

Here's an article by Kaye Bailey that really hits the nail on the head. Sounds very familiar to me for sure. My only saving grace was I did manage to exercise every day but the rest sounds just like me (and to be honest, like some of you as well).

-Split Personality Syndrome

by Kaye Bailey

If you have undergone a bariatric surgical procedure to control the metabolic disorder causing you to suffer from morbid obesity then you understand what it means to jump through hoops. Unlike any other life threatening illness people suffering from morbid obesity have to prove they are sick enough to undergo surgical intervention and mentally healthy enough to adapt to that treatment and its consequences.

I jumped through the hoops to get treatment with hell-bent determination that if I could just get this one break, some help from the good doctor, I would follow the rules and comply with every request. I would never be "one of those people" who get the surgery only to briefly lose weight and gain it all back. I did everything in my power to convince myself, my doctors, my insurance company, and even my Lord that I would die a miserable sickly death of co-morbidities if I did not have surgery to lose weight and save my life.

And that hell-bent determination carried me well, for a time. I did lose weight and I did comply with the rules and restrictions of surgery. And I did praise my surgeon, and my insurance company, and my Lord that my life was spared and I was healthy, alive, and living. I suppose with all that praising going on I kind of lost sight of the path, left the course really, all in the name of living. Pretty soon I wasn't eating protein first or drinking lots of Water. My daily exercise was hit-and-miss and a little snacking never hurt anyone, right? Somewhere the fighting survivor personality gave way to a what-me-worry wanderlust personality that didn't bother to look at the map.

We cannot successfully manage our health with this surgery if we enable split-personality behavior.

The minute we give up the hell-bent fighter and survivor personality in exchange for the happen-chance dieter of lost-pounds-past we are at risk of gaining weight, of feelings of failure, and worst of all: we are at risk of succumbing to the metabolic disorder we fought so damn hard to have treated with bariatric surgery. We cannot have it both ways. If we truly believe our obesity is a medical condition -and by medical definition it is- then we must yesterday, today, and always consider it a medical condition. We cannot be gut-whacked one day for the sake of saving our life and the next day abandon the dietary rules like we could a few weight loss programs back when on a whim we joined a strip mall diet program advertising "Join Now! Walk-ins Welcome."

You see, this bariatric surgery, it is serious business. There is no whimsy in the decision to get gut-whacked, no neon sign blinking "Walk-ins Welcome." No lose 10 pounds or get your money back promotion.

Think back to the days and weeks prior to your surgery. Like me, you talked the subject to wearisome repetition with your closest confidant. You put your personal and financial affairs in order. You signed a liability release praying not to be the rare death-on-the-table, a risk to one out of a hundred of us. You set goals. You made your expectations known: what you expected of yourself and what you expected from others as you beseeched their support in this - your last hope at saving your life from a slow painful death from the complications of morbid obesity. Your claims were heartfelt and emphatic: You wanted to be there to see your children grown and maybe grandchildren too. You wanted to live.

This bariatric surgery is serious business.

It is a funny thing, the way the mind works. The healthier we become the less we remember how truly sick we were before surgery and before weight loss. Similar to the memory of pain reported following childbirth, findings indicate that the more positive our experience is with weight loss, the less vividly we recall the pain (physical and emotional) of obesity prior to weight loss. This suggests when we fall off the wagon of dietary compliance it is not so much about a moral breakdown or environmental pressure (think food pushers) but perhaps we just don't remember how bad obesity felt. The same is likely true for a recovering addict who returns to the drug of choice: they simply do not recall the agony of the addiction. This could explain why highly intelligent people often repeat the cycle of recovery and relapse befuddling those around them.

Toddlers are taught very quickly not to touch a hot stove. It only takes three little sharply spoken words, "Hot! Don't touch!" and one breach of the command and even the dimmest child learns not to touch the hot stove because doing so causes immediate pain. Behavior modification therapy works in a similar manner for adults. Some are taught to wear a rubber band on the wrist and when temptation for relapse occurs the band is snapped in a "Hot! Don't touch!" alert that danger looms.

The problem we encounter in the recovery from morbid obesity is that the environmental factors that feed our metabolic disorder don't burn when we touch them. chocolate cake tastes good and macaroni and cheese feels comforting when we eat it. There is no sting from the snap of a rubber band, no burn from the heat of the stove. A 1972 love anthem recorded by Luther Ingram gave us those memorable cheating words, "If loving you is wrong, then I don't want to be right." Remember that classic? How easily it could be the theme song in our forever battle of the bulge.

I dare say the best "Hot! Don't touch!" snap for us comes when we understand the risk for split personality behavior following a bariatric surgery for weight loss. While it doesn't seem desirable to dwell upon the pain we suffered from our obesity it would serve us well to not forget it. Photos are a good reminder. I suggest not just the usual "before" picture, but how about a photo of your prescription medications or the CPAP breathing machine you had to wear at night, or the cane or walker you needed because your mobility was impaired? Those photo reminders will feel very much like a snap on the wrist and catapult your personality to being hell-bent on sustained recovery.

At LivingAfterWLS we use the Quarterly Self-Assessment 2-page worksheet (download here for free) to take inventory of where we are and where we want to go. The second assessment question is "What was my original goal when I had WLS?" This personal contract is an accountability tool to help us keep our morbid obesity in remission. And I'm pretty sure that for most us keeping morbid obesity in remission was the original goal.

More free downloads from LivingAfterWLS

Peer support also effectively nurtures our hell-bent personality in recovery. We can learn from those who are further down the road from us and we can tap into the enthusiasm of those new to recovery to boost our resolve when things feel redundant and routine. And who doesn't like having a cheering section when those baby steps become big accomplishments? Join our online safe haven circle of friends - the LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood - to learn what I'm talking about.

Keep learning. Continued education works to keep us informed, trying new things and having new hope that a remission from our medical disorder is achievable. And reaching out to support others becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we benefit from the give and take of a generous spirit. Learn, teach, share. We are in this together.

Now that I have laid this out for you I want to bring back the pom-poms and the cheerful optimism. The surgical tool gives us something no strip-mall "Walk-ins Welcome" weight loss program ever will: the ability to bounce back time and time again. We can get back on track and we can work our stomach pouch to manage our metabolic disorder. We have learned how good it can feel to manage our weight and we can do it again. So harness that hell-bent personality. Grab your original goal by the love handles and take charge of your destiny. I am here for you and we are in this together. Not for just a few pounds; not just to goal weight. We are in this together for the purpose of living. You can do this!

I say Amen Sister to Kaye Bailey - she said it all so well.

We're off to Des Moines -- love you all -- have a great weekend!!

Linda

Thank you for posting this. I think I will go check this out

[Charlene K 1]

Morning to everyone. Woke up to a nice sunny morning, already 30 degrees!! I can't believe this nice weather. I'm sure those of you down south are chuckling -- but truly, it feels so lovely and it's so nice to have sunshine!!

The one thing I KNOW we have to do in Chicago is go walk the Magnificant Mile shopping as we go -- must hit a Garrett popcorn shop so I can bring home some evil popcorn. It's just too darn good - cheese/caramel mix -- but so evil. It will be one of my "special treats". Since I was only in Chicago in the winter, I'd love to see the Navy Pier in the summer - so I vote for that. Unless the weather is unbearably hot (which it shouldn't be in June) I'll be more interested in outdoor activities than indoor, but that's just me. I love dinner cruises -- sounds great -- is there anyone coming who has never seen a Great Lake?

Peaches, glad to hear from you -- I didn't realize you had been to Egypt during your recent trip -- so this must be especially sad for you. I'm like Apples, I just can't imagine not living in a free society -- I just cannot fathom it. We are planning to go see King's Speech tomorrow (I hope). It's one movie I've been wanting to see since I saw the previews several months ago.

Sandy I'm in the same boat you are -- I have at least 5 more years before I can retire - we just plan to get a motor home and travel around staying at parks for long visits -- like a month at a ttime. Then if we decide we get tired of that we can always pick one to stay for a "season." I'd like to spend each summer exploring various areas - i.e. one summer drive to alaska, one summer travel up to Maine, explore Canada, see each and every national park. Of course, I'm hoping we'll be able to take our Aylah with us for part of each summer. That's my major plan and I can hardly wait.

Janet have a wonderful birthday today -- Know you're busy witih family, but should you check in just want you to know we're thinking of you.

Eva, glad you are enjoying your writing assignments - I know how you feel -- they are so much "fun" - not like other classes.

That's another reason for retirement - to have time to write -- would love to be retired and writing every day,. Maybe this year I'll find more time.

I've been a good girl and have kept carbs out of my mouth and my scale has been showing slight weight losses. I weighed in this morning and Im back down to 138 -- which I was at "briefly" a few times in early 2010 but kept creeping back to about 142-143 during most of the year. Then I had a wake up call in November and realized I was more like 148 so I've been behaving ever since and this morning I'm back to the lowest weight I've ever been since surgery -- 138. So, now to see if I can manage to lose the 5 lbs. to be at my original goal of 132 and then stay there.

It's confession time and I'm only relaying the information because it may help some of you, I'm not trying to preach or brag, just throwing it out there. The no carbs thing seems to be working for me. After surgery I followed my surgeon's rules to a "T" and never waivered and lost those 100 pounds in about 11 months. Then I decided to go on my "own" eating plan that I used to do -- more of a low fat type of diet that worked for me in the past. And I allowed myself to have what I thought were low calorie Snacks -- 100 calorie snack packs, rice krispie bars, fruit crisp bars, etc. etc. I was only have about 1000 calories, but I couldn't lose -- then I decided I was at a plateau and decided to "ride it out" -- I had had a fill last January and was too tight -- I figured I'd lose 10 pounds and it would loosen up -- well I was pb'ing all the time and couldn't eat much Protein and instead of losing, I maintained -- then I got tired of not losing so stopped getting on the scale and then when I had my health check up in November I found out I'd gained quite a bit. I finally went in August and had a .500 cc unfill and that helped the pb'g issues but I was still eating incorrectly. Around November I re-discovered the 5 day pouch test and tried it and re-read and reminded myself about the rules and why I'd had surgery and started to follow lap band surgery rules again. Now I could have saved all this heartache and trouble if I'd just listened to Cheri all year, but I AM a Taurus and very bullheaded. lol. Sorry Cheri. I've increased fats and I'm eating only Protein and I'm so much happier, have more energy and am hardly ever hungry. I used to get ravenous between meals because I was not feeding my body enough protein. Fats and protein make you more satisfied and helps you burn fat because it takes more of your body's energy to burn it than it takes to burn off simple carbs. That's the facts and it's true.

So instead-- I'm eating more fat than I used to (more satisfying) and I've cut out all snacking between meals. I'm still having my small amount of fruit with greek yogurt with breakfast or lunch but that's really all the carbs I eat and they are the good kind. I eat half a banana and about 1/8 cup of strawberries/blueberries mixed in my greek yogurt every day. And I still seem to lose eating that so it seems to be okay. I love fruit and really feel it's vitally important to my body to have that every day. I'd love to have much more but I'll limit it until I decide to maintain again.

Anyway, just thought I'd share -- I've done the 5 day pouch test a total of 3 times since the first of November. I now approach my eating differently -- I allow myself a special day once a week where I have a bag of 100 calorie popcorn and maybe a small dish of sugar free ice cream. I make sugar free pudding with non fat milk and add Protein Powder to it and it's delish -- that's my special treat during the week and it satisfies any and all of my sweet cravings and it's good for me and has protein. I stay completely away from everything else the rest of the week and look forward to that one day where I have what I'm craving -- I look at it as I can do anything for 5 or 6 days - that's how I've approached it and it seems to work. By the way, we seem to have a lot of food pushers at work and here's how I've learned to handle them -- rather than saying "no thanks" which no longer works because then I get a lecture on how skinny I am -- I just take whatever they want me to have and take one small bite in front of them and then go to my desk - and proceed to throw the rest in the trash. This only happens occasionally at work -- so it's not an every day issue but about once or twice a month I've encountered this and I've discovered this is the best way to handle this type of thing.

Like I said, I thought I'd share to see if it rings true to anyone out there struggling or who may struggle in the future.

Anyway, thanks for letting me unload my guilty conscious and share my most recent success with all of you.

Linda

Linda, thanks for sharing. I can sooooo relate. I too, have been struggling and I think is because of carbs. I also have not been exercising as much. Today I did start walking more. Dh and I are going to the gym tomorrow afternoon.

LauraK.....I'm no hero sandwich, but I definitely feel sandwiched at times. I went to the nursing home and took my mother up to her apartment. She has a reading machine that magnifies all her reading material. I think she is going to make a complete recovery. I went with her to therapy and she was able to walk with the therapist. She will get her cast off on Tuesday and will start therapy with her walker. I see more "me" time in my future.

Eva and Apples......Quilt show........Love em. I know y'all had a blast.

Sndy, I never thought I would ever want to move away from my Grand kids, but this Fybromyalgia makes a warm dry climate look real good for the winter. Our cold is mainly in January and February, but like today it was 73 and sunny. I just know I am a whimp when it comes to cold weather. How is your dad?

Julie.....are you okay?

Janet.......want to know all about your birthday.

Lori.....how was the shower?

Sweet Dreams!

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Just read up on dumping syndrome. Didn't think you could get it with the band, just with all the bypasses, but I think I get it. When I eat sliders that are high carb, I get very uncomfortable pressure and bloating below my band and my heart races. I don't have it as severe as many, but I'm pretty sure it fits into that category. The pressure on the band from the intestines can actually radiate upward and make my shoulder and neck uncomfortable. More reason than ever to avoid carbs and stick to Protein.

Cheri

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Hi Dear Ones....... Yes, I'm here and I'm okay.....My life just seems to be a big confusing mess right now.... The effects of the drugs are starting to impinge on my daily life and I hate it..... Some days I do absolutely nothing......like today.... It's just not good or fun at all..... I keep managing to do what needs doing, but I feel so muddled all the time... I have gained 2 more pounds from this Lyrica bringing my appetite back.... Don't like that at all... But DH gets mad when I say that.. He wants me to eat and get my strength back and worry about pounds when I'm doing better.... I know he is mostly right, but going backwards doesn't feel good either.... So..... I'm a mess, but I'm moving from day to day.... Sorry to abandon you all, but I think of you often and keep you all in my prayers.....

I just had to come on tonight to wish Janet a wonderfully Happy Birthday.. Hope it has been a good one... Many, many more to you........... Love and hugs to all........... Julie