I'm here to help...

[Great2BThin 5]

Lori,

Please don't beat yourself up, because if you do, then I will have to beat myself up too, for losing so little, if anything, this entire month. I think what I have to come to grips with is that I will always be a "food person" and that there will be times that I'm human and the difference this time will be that my slips don't become permanent. (I hope! I hope! I hope!)

I wonder if you took a poll of overweight women, (women especially) if you would find that we are more apt to be people pleasers, more apt to beat ourselves up over the least little thing, more apt to be concerned about others before ourselves and therfore more apt to judge ourselves harshly. (I think I was a bit repetative there.)

Maybe some of the difference has to do with choice. What if you CHOSE to eat one piece of pie - with ice cream, of course - and then you CHOSE to go back on program right after? Would that eliminate beating yourself up? I want to reach a place where I think like that. I am definitely NOT there yet, but I do think that my goal is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. It can be that goodies (and good things, for that matter) are a normal part of life. (I think Janet talked about choice at one point.)

Well, forgive me for ranting, or as I say to my daughter, "processing out loud."

Talk to you later.

Love,

Ellen

Thanks for the pep talk, Ellen. See I did choose to have that pie and was okay with it when I did that. It was after I ate it that I beat myself up for that choice. I guess I still have this good/bad thing going on in my head when it comes to food ar as you said the all or nothing thinking. This morning that pie was mocking me on the kitchen island and I got back at it and ground it up in the disposal. the pie is out of the house! And I got up this morning and put gym clothes on first thing. I am headed there next. I can do this!! Most times I believe that, then those doubts come like last night and all that old stinkin thinkin comes back.

[JoannMarie 0]

Lori, if I heard right - you had one piece of apple pie ala mode - and the rest went into the garbage disposer. Last year at this time, where would the apple pie be? I think Ellen and Janet are right. Apple pie (and other good things of all kinds) is a part of life. Once you start depriving yourself of EVERYTHING, you begin to resent everything, feel bad about yourself - and this can lead very quickly to giving up. This is the pattern we fat chicks have followed from day one. Meanwhile, many of the health professionals (esp those who are skinny b.....s) tell us we must have iron-clad will power and never eat apple pie again as long as we live. I totally disagree with that assessment. Replace "will-power" with "discipline". Allow yourself the small piece of apple pie ala mode, grind up the left-overs, cut back a bit on calories and add on exercise the next day. You can turn away from almost every temptation but it is totally unrealistic to expect that you will be able to walk away every time for the rest of your life. You have great discipline, Lori, and you have a great tool to help you. I just read a few posts back what your daily food intake has been. There is no way you can be consistently eating like that and NOT LOSE WEIGHT.

You are successful, you are going to continue that success, and you are going to reach your goal.

(p.s. probably best if you don't have apple pie today - haha)

[wiredshut 0]

Lori,

Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Phil would be proud of your dealing with "right thinking." LOL!

Love,

Ellen

[phyllser 3]

I think Ellen and Janet are right. Apple pie (and other good things of all kinds) is a part of life. Once you start depriving yourself of EVERYTHING, you begin to resent everything, feel bad about yourself - and this can lead very quickly to giving up. This is the pattern we fat chicks have followed from day one. Meanwhile, many of the health professionals (esp those who are skinny b.....s) tell us we must have iron-clad will power and never eat apple pie again as long as we live. I totally disagree with that assessment. Replace "will-power" with "discipline". Allow yourself the small piece of apple pie ala mode, grind up the left-overs, cut back a bit on calories and add on exercise the next day. You can turn away from almost every temptation but it is totally unrealistic to expect that you will be able to walk away every time for the rest of your life. You have great discipline, Lori, and you have a great tool to help you. I just read a few posts back what your daily food intake has been. There is no way you can be consistently eating like that and NOT LOSE WEIGHT. You are successful, you are going to continue that success, and you are going to reach your goal.

YOU HAVE GOT IT, GIRL!!

Not yet banded, but you've already won some major battles...

the ones in the head! Now all you have to do is put it into practice.

YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

:cursing:WTF DID MY POST GO!!!! OH I'M PISSED - I STARTED AT 8 - FINISH AT 10 CUS THE PHONE KEPT RINGING AND NOW IT'S NOT HERE :drool:

Ok move forward Janet - as you always preach you can't change the past - you gotta move forward !!!

Short recap - it was a brilliant post but since my short term memory is shot to hell - I can't get it back..

#1 - The Whole Slow Loser Talk

Ellen - 48 lbs gone in 2 months - that's 24 lbs a month - that 6 lbs a week that's .86 lbs per day - almost 1 pound a day lost on average

Lori - 61 lbs gone in 3 months - that's 20.33 lbs a month - that's 5.08 lbs a week - that's .73 lbs a day.. - almost 3/4 of a pound lost a day for your average.

You guys are not slow losers - don't put that title/label on yourselves - then you will become that slow loser - get frustrated - give up - etc - you know we don't need much of an excuse to fall off the wagon.. Heck I could smile at you and you could turn it around for a reason to stuff your face - Yep I know all the fricking excuses out there.

You are both "LOSERS" not gainers - You are both STRONG WOMEN WHO ARE IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING HEALTHY TO EXTEND YOUR LIFE AND IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF IT..

That's Your Titles/Labels - OK Tattooed that phrase into your brains...

Positive affirmations !!!! If you call yourself stupid you will be stupid - but if you call your self smart you will be !!!! We have to talk to ourselves like we talk to kids - What do you say to a child who Say's oh I'm so stupid - do you agree - nope - we all have that 2 yr old inside of us - you need to nurture that 2 yr.. Not beat her up - you wouldn't beat up another kid so why do we always beat ourselves up??

Lori - a piece of pie & ice cream is a part of life - this isn't a diet or a program - this is life style change - eating healthy - it's finding a balance between the all or nothing that Ellen talked about - Yes she is absolutely right about that - But again I totally agree with tossing what's left - because it can be hard to have it sitting there and not to keep picking at it - it's not that one piece that will get you fat but 3 or 4 pieces and you know us - end up being the whole damn thing

Ok started this an hr ago - don't remember what else I spouted off about - but the real jist of this is that you all doing good - you are losing - you are making mindful choices and not mindless eating - this is a learning process and there may be days in which you do fall back in to old habits but the diff is now you will pick yourselves up and move forward..

And Positive Affirmations no more bad talking to ourselves - talk to your selves like you would your best friend...

[IndioGirl55 32]

YOU HAVE GOT IT, GIRL!!

Not yet banded, but you've already won some major battles...

the ones in the head! Now all you have to do is put it into practice.

YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!

JoannMaire - I have said it before - but need to put an AMEN to Phyl's post you really do have your brain in the right place - and you are so much more eloquent than me...

I can't wait til you are banded :wink2:

[IndioGirl55 32]

just got a call from my doctor...

Guess who they want to use for their new TV Commerical

guess - guess

ME !!!!!

Oh My - what am I going to wear !!!!!

[Great2BThin 5]

Pie Update:

The evil monster has been ground up, the dishes rinsed completely free of any pie residue. Challenge overcome!! Thanks so much everyone for the words of sanity. I can't believe how fast I let myself start spiraling downward in the head. And you should've seen my piece of pie. In my former pre-banded life, I wouldn't have even called it a piece, it was a mere sliver with one scoop on a Tablespoon size spoon on my plate. So I did good. And it tasted oh so good! Also, I went to the gym and worked up, upped the intensity but at that intensity I couldn't go as long. Which was fine as I was running late to meet my sister for lunch. And I met the challenge there. She wanted to go to Wishbone which is this fried chicken diner that is to die for. I thought oh no, what do I eat? why did she pick this place? Well as she sat there with her number 8 which is 3 thighs, fries, texas toast and gravy, I got the KIDS number one, they let me order from the kids menu but when an adult does they add $1.50 to the price, I was okay with that. I had 2 pcs of chicken one of which is in my fridge now, about 4 fries and no toast. I was stuffed. Do I eat fried chicken every day? No, between that and my pie last night I probably consumed a few more calories than normal, but I kept it in control. I used to eat that number 8 too and still want more! Sis, by the way, is asking a lot about my lifestyle and diet and now. HMMMMMM and was very complimentary on how I looked and discussed how mom will react. I left that place feeling pretty smug about myself. What a difference a day makes. What's so great about the band is even when I get in those self defeating modes and in the past what have said what the he$$ and eat the rest of the pie, or the other piece of chicken, the band won't let me, or if I do there's a high price to pay! And then the stinkin' thinkin' passes and so does the urge to binge. Okay I've rambled enough. Thanks so much for the understanding and support!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Pie Update:

it was a mere sliver with one scoop on a Tablespoon size spoon on my plate. So I did good. And it tasted oh so good! Also, I went to the gym and worked up, upped the intensity but at that intensity I couldn't go as long. . She wanted to go to Wishbone which is this fried chicken diner that is to die for. I thought oh no, what do I eat? why did she pick this place? Well as she sat there with her number 8 which is 3 thighs, fries, texas toast and gravy,

I got the KIDS number one, they let me order from the kids menu but when an adult does they add $1.50 to the price, I was okay with that. I had 2 pcs of chicken one of which is in my fridge now, about 4 fries and no toast. I was stuffed.

Do I eat fried chicken every day? No, between that and my pie last night I probably consumed a few more calories than normal, but I kept it in control.

I used to eat that number 8 too and still want more! Sis, by the way, is asking a lot about my lifestyle and diet and now. HMMMMMM and was very complimentary on how I looked and discussed how mom will react. I left that place feeling pretty smug about myself.

What a difference a day makes. What's so great about the band is even when I get in those self defeating modes and in the past what have said what the he$$ and eat the rest of the pie, or the other piece of chicken, the band won't let me, or if I do there's a high price to pay!

And then the stinkin' thinkin' passes and so does the urge to binge. Okay I've rambled enough. Thanks so much for the understanding and support!

See this is why you are my jedi warrior !!!!

Love your thinking - this is way you have to think and feel and live...

WTG:thumbup:

[lisa in toronto 0]

I hope it's okay to jump in in the middle. My first band (July 5,2007) broke- the tubing pulled away from the band. So, after waiting 6 weeks to get diagnosed, then another 4 weeks to get booked in, I had a new band put in Aug. 8/08. I just had my first fill this morning, and have been ravenous all day. I did very well with my first band, and felt so angry, fearful of regaining weight, and frustrated with the long waits, and with myself for allowing my eating to get out of control during this "NO BAND" stage. I had lost 93 lbs., but have regained 13 lbs. Now I am struggling to get my head into eating properly again. Having gotten 3cc's in my 10cc band, I don't feel any restriction yet, but hope I will tomorrow, when I start back on solids. So now, after 3and a half months of no band and being out of control (lots of junk food) I am trying to get back to where I was. The band breaking was not through my doing anything wrong- evidently it "just happens" with the kind of band I had (Inamed) sometimes. I could sure use support, help, encouragement right now. Thanks for letting me vent.

[lisa in toronto 0]

I don't have the heart to change my stats, but I've actually gone from 140 to 153 lb. I hope things start going in the right direction again.

[IndioGirl55 32]

I hope it's okay to jump in in the middle. My first band (July 5,2007) broke- the tubing pulled away from the band. So, after waiting 6 weeks to get diagnosed, then another 4 weeks to get booked in, I had a new band put in Aug. 8/08. I just had my first fill this morning, and have been ravenous all day. I did very well with my first band, and felt so angry, fearful of regaining weight, and frustrated with the long waits, and with myself for allowing my eating to get out of control during this "NO BAND" stage. I had lost 93 lbs., but have regained 13 lbs. Now I am struggling to get my head into eating properly again. Having gotten 3cc's in my 10cc band, I don't feel any restriction yet, but hope I will tomorrow, when I start back on solids. So now, after 3and a half months of no band and being out of control (lots of junk food) I am trying to get back to where I was. The band breaking was not through my doing anything wrong- evidently it "just happens" with the kind of band I had (Inamed) sometimes. I could sure use support, help, encouragement right now. Thanks for letting me vent.

I don't have the heart to change my stats, but I've actually gone from 140 to 153 lb. I hope things start going in the right direction again.

Lisa - Yes you can jump in - this thread is open to anyone who wants support..

CONGRATS ON LOSING 93 LBS - THAT'S GREAT !!!!

Being unbanded and gaining 15 lbs - well ya that's understandable - that why we have the band in the 1st place to help us control our portions...

I know that I wouldn't be where I am without the band.

Now you just need to get that mindset back to healthy eating - Remember this isn't a diet - but a lifestyle change and how's your exercise??

Get rid of all the junk in your house - you are going to have to detox yourself from that - which I think you would have since you had surgery and are back on the post op diet...

As you know you may have some restriction but most likely will need a fill when your 6-8 weeks are up.. (that's when I got my 1st fill 8 weeks out)

You know the ropes - Protein first - no slider foods - low fat - sugar free

Suggestion make foods you enjoy - but make them lower calorie verision..

Go back to tracting/logging your food to get a handle on your calorie intake - as you know you don't have to do this forever - just until you get it back in control...

I am a big exercise advocate - that's has really helped lose the weight and now to maintain it.. Get some in every other day..

You can do this - you have done it before with your 1st band - I know that you have to feel so much better with the 93 lbs gone than you did before - You really don't want to go back there - cuz if you really did you would not have had your band replaced....

So Girlfriend - yank on those bootstrap - give them a big hard pull and get back on the band wagon..

You can do this - Your previous loss is proof of that - So now it's time for you to move forward

P.S. - I understand not changing your ticker - but now that you are back in control - change it so you can track your new weekly weight loss.. Another little incentive to get you back on track.. Seeing those #'s going down again...

[JoannMarie 0]

Janet - I am having the same trouble you had with posting. What's going on?? I posted this morning and it was lost in cyberspace somewhere, happened again just now. Kicks me out completely both times.

Phyl and Janet - thank you both for your kind words. I am sooo looking forward to joining the banded people. I should get a date later this month, and am hopeful for late October/early November. I can't wait to join all of you great losers - and be among the BEST!

Lori - Congrats on your better day today. You are so together. It sounds like your sister is either a bit envious, or looking to make a lifestyle change. I hope she makes a good choice. She couldn't have a better role model.

gonna try again...

[bochs 0]

Hi girls tonight (Friday). Joann, you are going to be a great bandster. You have the whole concept down correctly. Janet, glad to hear you are going to be a movie star:thumbup:.You deserve to do that commercial with all of the work you have done, not just with yourself but with all of us. I havent had too much cheating going on at all throughout my band process. My problem always happens about a week before I am going to go to the Dr. which tells me I must be ready for a fill again. I have been eating those Quakers Rice Cakes minis in Ranch. They are good. Sounds like everyone is doing okay so talk with ya all later.

Beckyo:rolleyes:

[JoannMarie 0]

Thanks, Becky. Many days I feel like I am full of talk and NO experience... I think I know the rules now in my head - but I am actually very nervous about putting them into practice! DH has commented on the fact that I am leaving food on my plate and taking home doggie bags (don't tell the dogs) from restaurants. I am happy about that but I am dealing with "last meal syndrome" every day. I am concerned about the exercise component. It's pretty painful right now and I am having motivation issues because of that. I have never loved exercise, although I have had periods in my life when it was more of a priority and more enjoyable (funny, that was during the child-rearing years and times when I was slender --- hmmmm). Right now I am trusting that this component will fall into place and become less painful as I lose pounds. I know once I establish the habit I'll be okay with it.

So I am here and waiting for word. I think I've taken care of everything I can do for myself. Not much left but keeping contact with surgeon's coordinator and watching calories in and calories out. I will say I am absolutely not worried about the surgery, liquid diet, mushies -- I know these are just the steps I have to take to get to the result. I know I can do anything for a few weeks, for me it's the long haul that gets tough, boring, frustrating, etc. That's when the weight can start creeping back, and that's when the band will really be the tool I need. That's also when support from the banded people here will pull me back and administer a little tough band love...