I'm here to help...

[wiredshut 0]

Dear Janet,

Please forgive me. I really, really didn't mean to make it sound like there was some kind of "secretive in-group" kind of thing re being part of the Dr. Phil group. When "getthin" mentioned the concept of "getting it" in regard to the fact that "we are all the same," it triggered a memory of an epiphinal moment for me.

Dr. Phil's 13 were from very diverse backgrounds, as were those of us who were part of his on-going audience. So many came from different social, economic and educational backgrounds. So many differences in such a small group. Then one day when I was talking with one of the women, who just happened to be a member of the 13, I suddenly "got it" and I broke down and cried.

I had spent all my life trying to be a people pleaser. I had spent all my life trying to prove something, though heaven knows what it was. (Maybe just that I was worthy!) I tried to excel. I was a type A personality and I tried to do everything and be everything to everyone and in that moment, with that woman, I "got it!" We were all the same. We all had problems. We all had demons. We were all trying to be someone, prove ourselves, justify our very existance and we were all using food to help us along the way.

The special "moment" didn't have to do with Dr. Phil, it had to do with that simple and amazing realization that "we are all the same." I could stop running. I could breathe for a moment. There was this freeing feeling that I still can't put fully into words. I wish I could have, because maybe I could have held onto it.

Somehow this is connected to my putting my weight back on and to the more important fact that now, in having this lap band surgery, I must deal with those issues, in order to live the life I want to live, not using food as a crutch, but facing my emotions, my fears and my everyday life, not running from it.

Please forgive me if I made it sound like it was more than it was. It just "happened" at that time in my life and I am one of those people who have spent my years defining the periods in my life by, "Oh, I was thin then," or "Oh, I was at my fattest then.

As for the Dr. Phil part of it, I was lucky enough to be part of a nice experience that worked for awhile and then it didn't. I went looking for a miracle and I went to the studio to just sit in the audience at one of his very first shows, that very first year. It just happened to be about weight. How I got to know Dr. Phil was by telling one of his producers, as I sat in the audience-waiting area, that I had tried everything to lose weight, including wiring my mouth shut and nothing had worked. I was considering gastric bypass way back then. They told Dr. Phil and he called on me. (This was the year BEFORE the weight loss challenge!)

I told him I was looking for a miracle and he stood tall above my 5'1" frame and said, "It stops here now!" He talked to me for a few minutes and I was mesmerized. (I was part of his "Get Straight with Your Weight" audience, his very first year.) I left the studio shaking, processing everything he said and I know that his presence and those few moments sustained me over the next year and I lost about 50 pounds, never fully achieving my goal.

His book hadn't even come out yet and when it did, they asked me to come back and speak. I did, proudly showing the journal I had kept over the year, but I never lost much more than that. The people were nice. I got to meet Lori!!!! We would go to some of the follow-up episodes and sit in the audience. I enjoyed it, but truthfully, something didn't work for me.

As I continue on this journey I will have to figure out what that was, so that it doesn't happen again. I don't just want to lose weight this time; I want to be healthy; I don't want to be afraid of what life has to offer and to bury myself in food. I really want to live this time.

So once again. Please forgive me.

Love,

Ellen

[Great2BThin 5]

Just to clarify, my not so good food choices haven't been a free for all either. For example one day I had a Sonic blast (M & M ice cream thing) that was my food for the entire day. My throat was so sore from the tube I guess and the cold felt good on my throat, it took me all day to eat it.

And, since Ellen shared her Dr. Phil experience, I'll share mine. Mine was a little different. Before season 2 started, I happened upon his website and they had a call out on there to submit videos to be apart of the show regarding weight loss. I knew nothing about a book coming out or anything. I got a call in early August inviting me down to be part of the audience, they made it sound like I had a chance to be picked as one of the 'challengers' but think they were picked well ahead of the show, after all they arrived with a weeks worth of clothes etc. But we got free copies of his book, and invites back to all the weight loss shows that season. I lived in northern CA at the time and it was an easy flight down to LA, plus I worked for the airlines at the time and flew free. I went the first time with a friend from Weight Watchers, and eventually met another gal from Sacramento as well. We went to most of the tapings. It was at one of those early tapings that I met Ellen. She was such a calming force amongst the drama that was going on behind the scenes with the other audeince members, etc. She really kept me grounded. I had mentioned the the audience co-ordinater that I was keeping a charm braclet to mark my weight loss, every 5 lbs I added a gold star charm to it. Evidently she made note of that and I was asked to share that on air. That was so unreal. We (me and a guest) got on the lot parking passes, a dressing room, make up done, the whole 9 yards. Then they ran out of time and didn't talk to me, but had me come back again and that time I was on the air. We always came the day before and stayed at the same hotel as the 13 challengers and got to know some of them, we'd have dinner the night before and then off to the studios the next morning. It was all a blur but I did learn so much through it. I would've never considered myself an emotional eater before that, and I realized how much I was. After the season and weight loss challenge was over I was alittle disappointed. They never followed up again with the challengers or anything, which makes me wonder how successful everyone was. I moved to Delaware shortly after and had a really tough time missing my kids, being in a not very friendly area and got very depressed and gained about 50 lbs back. I still get out the book though once in awhile and go over some of the things I learned.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Hi all tonight! Today is Tuesday (12th). Went to dr. today. ONly lost 5 lbs in the last 4 weeks according to his scale. My scale says I lost more than that. Oh Well! Anyway he said he does his first three fills under flouroscopy so of course I did not get scheduled until this coming Monday for that. I will be okay for another week. He says I am doing good. Have lost a total of 26 in 9 weeks. So I am still happy with that. I hope this fill on Monday cuts my appetite down. He told me to go get a copy of South Beach diet book and read it because I said I had a steak, b potato and salad last night for dinner. He says no potatoes or very little as they turn to sugar. So I guess I will read that book and see what it says. I myself, like Weight Watchers but I have not looked at the others so I really don't know. Glad to hear everyone is doing okay so far. Keep up the good work:thumbup:

Beckyo:tt2:

Becky - I can't tell you and I won't tell you not to follow your doctors orders or diets - but I will tell you no matter what type of healthy diet you choose be it Atkins - South Beach - Weight Watchers - just pick the one that works for you.

This is a total lifetime change in your eating and if you can't live without a baked potate (1/4 or 1/2 of one) with your dinner and your other meals are starch laden then have it - this is my personal opinion - I could never live on an atkins type diet and have looked at south beach and it's pretty much the same I think - the south beach allow for more healthy carbs/starches than adktin...

I must have carbs/starches in my daily diet - I just don't eat the for Breakfast lunch and dinner - I usually have some form of starch with my dinner and once every few months a sandwich made on lite bread..

Yes starches turn to sugar - truly we should all be eating a diabetic type diet - which is high Protein - I have a gf who is a total atkins girl (she banded) she does fine on it - I guess this is why I say I am a ww girl cuz they allow carbs/starches - just limited.

Dear Janet,

Please forgive me. I really, really didn't mean to make it sound like there was some kind of "secretive in-group" kind of thing re being part of the Dr. Phil group. When "getthin" mentioned the concept of "getting it" in regard to the fact that "we are all the same," it triggered a memory of an epiphinal moment for me.

Dr. Phil's 13 were from very diverse backgrounds, as were those of us who were part of his on-going audience. So many came from different social, economic and educational backgrounds. So many differences in such a small group. Then one day when I was talking with one of the women, who just happened to be a member of the 13, I suddenly "got it" and I broke down and cried.

I had spent all my life trying to be a people pleaser. I had spent all my life trying to prove something, though heaven knows what it was. (Maybe just that I was worthy!) I tried to excel. I was a type A personality and I tried to do everything and be everything to everyone and in that moment, with that woman, I "got it!" We were all the same. We all had problems. We all had demons. We were all trying to be someone, prove ourselves, justify our very existance and we were all using food to help us along the way.

The special "moment" didn't have to do with Dr. Phil, it had to do with that simple and amazing realization that "we are all the same." I could stop running. I could breathe for a moment. There was this freeing feeling that I still can't put fully into words. I wish I could have, because maybe I could have held onto it.

Somehow this is connected to my putting my weight back on and to the more important fact that now, in having this lap band surgery, I must deal with those issues, in order to live the life I want to live, not using food as a crutch, but facing my emotions, my fears and my everyday life, not running from it.

Please forgive me if I made it sound like it was more than it was. It just "happened" at that time in my life and I am one of those people who have spent my years defining the periods in my life by, "Oh, I was thin then," or "Oh, I was at my fattest then.

As for the Dr. Phil part of it, I was lucky enough to be part of a nice experience that worked for awhile and then it didn't. I went looking for a miracle and I went to the studio to just sit in the audience at one of his very first shows, that very first year. It just happened to be about weight. How I got to know Dr. Phil was by telling one of his producers, as I sat in the audience-waiting area, that I had tried everything to lose weight, including wiring my mouth shut and nothing had worked. I was considering gastric bypass way back then. They told Dr. Phil and he called on me. (This was the year BEFORE the weight loss challenge!)

I told him I was looking for a miracle and he stood tall above my 5'1" frame and said, "It stops here now!" He talked to me for a few minutes and I was mesmerized. (I was part of his "Get Straight with Your Weight" audience, his very first year.) I left the studio shaking, processing everything he said and I know that his presence and those few moments sustained me over the next year and I lost about 50 pounds, never fully achieving my goal.

His book hadn't even come out yet and when it did, they asked me to come back and speak. I did, proudly showing the journal I had kept over the year, but I never lost much more than that. The people were nice. I got to meet Lori!!!! We would go to some of the follow-up episodes and sit in the audience. I enjoyed it, but truthfully, something didn't work for me.

As I continue on this journey I will have to figure out what that was, so that it doesn't happen again. I don't just want to lose weight this time; I want to be healthy; I don't want to be afraid of what life has to offer and to bury myself in food. I really want to live this time.

So once again. Please forgive me.

Love,

Ellen

OH Ellen - I didn't take offense or think there was a secert club - I just wanted you to tell me your experience regarding the Dr Phil show... OMW girl - I didn't think anything - I know how long it takes to write what you wrote - (well at least for me it would have taken 1/2 hr or more - cuz i proof it don't like how I worded it - have to change this or that) that's all I mean when I said when you have time - tell us your story...

Yes I think you and your band are going to be a perfect fit... You understand the head work that goes along with the band work...

Just to clarify, my not so good food choices haven't been a free for all either. For example one day I had a Sonic blast (M & M ice cream thing) that was my food for the entire day. My throat was so sore from the tube I guess and the cold felt good on my throat, it took me all day to eat it.

And, since Ellen shared her Dr. Phil experience, I'll share mine. Mine was a little different. Before season 2 started, I happened upon his website and they had a call out on there to submit videos to be apart of the show regarding weight loss. I knew nothing about a book coming out or anything. I got a call in early August inviting me down to be part of the audience, they made it sound like I had a chance to be picked as one of the 'challengers' but think they were picked well ahead of the show, after all they arrived with a weeks worth of clothes etc. But we got free copies of his book, and invites back to all the weight loss shows that season. I lived in northern CA at the time and it was an easy flight down to LA, plus I worked for the airlines at the time and flew free. I went the first time with a friend from Weight Watchers, and eventually met another gal from Sacramento as well. We went to most of the tapings. It was at one of those early tapings that I met Ellen. She was such a calming force amongst the drama that was going on behind the scenes with the other audeince members, etc. She really kept me grounded. I had mentioned the the audience co-ordinater that I was keeping a charm braclet to mark my weight loss, every 5 lbs I added a gold star charm to it. Evidently she made note of that and I was asked to share that on air. That was so unreal. We (me and a guest) got on the lot parking passes, a dressing room, make up done, the whole 9 yards. Then they ran out of time and didn't talk to me, but had me come back again and that time I was on the air. We always came the day before and stayed at the same hotel as the 13 challengers and got to know some of them, we'd have dinner the night before and then off to the studios the next morning. It was all a blur but I did learn so much through it. I would've never considered myself an emotional eater before that, and I realized how much I was. After the season and weight loss challenge was over I was alittle disappointed. They never followed up again with the challengers or anything, which makes me wonder how successful everyone was. I moved to Delaware shortly after and had a really tough time missing my kids, being in a not very friendly area and got very depressed and gained about 50 lbs back. I still get out the book though once in awhile and go over some of the things I learned.

Lori - - I didn't think you were having a free for all You had already mention the ice cream.. I really think your body is trying to heal from your gall bladder surgery - I would have had the ice cream too - that's all I was saying...

Food and why we eat - Yep its for many different reasons -for some it was that they have been sexaully abused and don't want to be attractive and for others it can be the simple case of being bored.

I haven't read the Dr Phil book - but I like some of the things he has said - the latest book I had gotten was Dr OZ you on a diet when he came out on Oprah with it (Dr. Phil & Oprah come on the same time here and I can only record one shows) That's where I came up with the it's not the one piece of cake that made you fat - it's cuz you ate 3 or 4 pieces instead of just one small piece occassionally.

I think they all have great things to say and make us open our eye and like Ellen said - she learned no matter where you come from we all are basisally the same.

Ladies - I will never get after any of you for living life - and living life means having a piece of cake - or a candy, cookie or ice cream occassionally. This isn't a diet it's a new way of life - we use to eat the whole half gallon - we use to eat the whole bag of candy not just one piece - we didn't move we were couch potatoes - we use food to soothe us

Heck I have lived my life during the last 12 months - at Christmas time I did avoid the goodies at work (we get tons of stuff from insurance companies and I even got a box of candy from an insured - which i regifted to someone esle:lol:) but I make xmas Cookies with my grandaughters every year - I allowed myself a few cookie when I made them with my girls - I just didn't go hog wild from Thanksgiving to New Years.. I have cake at birthday parties - I just have 1 piece not 10.. At halloween I had a few trick or treat candies..

I am not this super dietier - I just don't consume the quainties that I use to - I no longer eat high fat or sugar foods on a daily basis - I now go to the gym 3 - 4 times a week.. I have changed my lifestyle..

If I want a treat - I just budget those calories into my daily calorie budget and I don't add to them and if I happen to go to high one day then I cut back the next day and do an extra 1/2 mile to a mile at the gym..

This is what healthy pple do... and that's what I want for all of you to become healthy strong women..

Hugs to all of you - my dinner is calling me (ground beef/bell pepper/onion garlic/corn cooked in tomatoe sauce 1/2c - over 1/2 c mashed potatoes)

total 1 cup food 340 calorie..

I will ck back later ...

[Great2BThin 5]

The last of those pesky hospital 8 lbs hit the road today!!! And they took another half with them. Now I'm at 49.5, will I ever see 50??? I know I will but those big milestone numbers seem to make you work all the harder for them. I just got in from a long walk in the neighborhood. the longest I've gone since living here so feel great about that and it was a big hill going as well. I know I need to build some stamina and not just because of the surgery. I went to the mall with my daughter a couple weeks ago and just walking the mall with her wore me out and I was all sweaty. That's ridiculous! I look forward to cooler (cooler not cold) weather soon to be able to go outdoors and walk anytime of day. In fact, we are getting some unseasonalbly cool weather on Friday they are saying in the 60's only, this after our record hot July. go figure!

[Charlene K 1]

Well, I haven't been posting or reading the posts because I have a new grandaughter. Just losing the small amount of weight has really helped me be more mobile. I think I had a PB today. I waited to long to eat and when I did I ate tuna and crackers. I took a large bite.....my chest started hurting.....and I started getting slime in my mouth. I did that little trick someone said to do.....putting my arms above my head....and it worked. I hope I don't do that again.....it hurts!:Banane37::eek::sleep2:

[IndioGirl55 32]

The last of those pesky hospital 8 lbs hit the road today!!! And they took another half with them. Now I'm at 49.5, will I ever see 50??? I know I will but those big milestone numbers seem to make you work all the harder for them. I just got in from a long walk in the neighborhood. the longest I've gone since living here so feel great about that and it was a big hill going as well. I know I need to build some stamina and not just because of the surgery. I went to the mall with my daughter a couple weeks ago and just walking the mall with her wore me out and I was all sweaty. That's ridiculous! I look forward to cooler (cooler not cold) weather soon to be able to go outdoors and walk anytime of day. In fact, we are getting some unseasonalbly cool weather on Friday they are saying in the 60's only, this after our record hot July. go figure!

Lori - CONGRATS ON THE 49.5 - They open our mall like at 6 a.m so during the summer (maybe winter too) so that pple can go walk - and if you wait for the weather to cooperate then you are not going to get much exercise - can you go to the mall to walk a couple times a week or do you have a gym or Ymca or rec center that you can go to.. We have a rec center where you pay like $10 a year and they have classes and track you can walk.

Well, I haven't been posting or reading the posts because I have a new grandaughter. Just losing the small amount of weight has really helped me be more mobile. I think I had a PB today. I waited to long to eat and when I did I ate tuna and crackers. I took a large bite.....my chest started hurting.....and I started getting slime in my mouth. I did that little trick someone said to do.....putting my arms above my head....and it worked. I hope I don't do that again.....it hurts!:Banane37::eek::sleep2:

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW GRANDAUGHTER CHARLENE...

Is it your 1st grandchild???

Yep sounds like you got stuck... I find getting up an walking to help too.

[Charlene K 1]

Janet .....this is number 8, but this was my baby girl's first baby....she is 31. She had a twenty hour labor then when she delivered she hemorrhaged. Her blood count is 7. She is taking mega doses of Iron instead of getting a transfusion. So she needs alot of help. My grandaughter is fine....she weighed 8.2lbs. We are blessed.

[Great2BThin 5]

Lori - CONGRATS ON THE 49.5 - They open our mall like at 6 a.m so during the summer (maybe winter too) so that pple can go walk - and if you wait for the weather to cooperate then you are not going to get much exercise - can you go to the mall to walk a couple times a week or do you have a gym or Ymca or rec center that you can go to.. We have a rec center where you pay like $10 a year and they have classes and track you can walk. quote]

Nah, the mall ain't happening, it's about 45 min away. I do have a clubhouse/rec center that's part of my community I use a lot. I do a recumbant bike or treadmill there or an elliptical at home when the weather isn't co operating. I just enjoy being able to do something outdoors so much more. And right now just a few days post op all I am doing is walking. I also do weights normally at the gym. Maybe I'll get released for more next week at my dr. appt. Today I forgot and lifted a overflowing laundry basket and felt a twinge and thought, oh yeah, you just had surgery and can't lift that. DUH!! guess I am beginning to feel better if I can forget momentarily.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Janet .....this is number 8, but this was my baby girl's first baby....she is 31. She had a twenty hour labor then when she delivered she hemorrhaged. Her blood count is 7. She is taking mega doses of Iron instead of getting a transfusion. So she needs alot of help. My grandaughter is fine....she weighed 8.2lbs. We are blessed.

Charlene - Prayer are being said for your daughter - Hugs how scary..

#8 - omw you have a ton of grandkids... I have 3 and thats enought :thumbup:

Lori - CONGRATS ON THE 49.5 - They open our mall like at 6 a.m so during the summer (maybe winter too) so that pple can go walk - and if you wait for the weather to cooperate then you are not going to get much exercise - can you go to the mall to walk a couple times a week or do you have a gym or Ymca or rec center that you can go to.. We have a rec center where you pay like $10 a year and they have classes and track you can walk. quote]

Nah, the mall ain't happening, it's about 45 min away. I do have a clubhouse/rec center that's part of my community I use a lot. I do a recumbant bike or treadmill there or an elliptical at home when the weather isn't co operating. I just enjoy being able to do something outdoors so much more. And right now just a few days post op all I am doing is walking. I also do weights normally at the gym. Maybe I'll get released for more next week at my dr. appt. Today I forgot and lifted a overflowing laundry basket and felt a twinge and thought, oh yeah, you just had surgery and can't lift that. DUH!! guess I am beginning to feel better if I can forget momentarily.

Lori - 45 minutes ya a little too far - I am lucky I have a gym right across the street from my community - so it's easy - i could walk if I wanted to be it's either to hot during the summer and gets dark early in the winter when the weathers nice.. Pluse for me in the Desert not much to look at when walking outside :thumbup:

Yes it's easy to forget when you are feeling good that you had surgery ..

But that's a good thing :biggrin:

OK gang - I am off for the weekend - I won't be back online til Monday morning - So remember good food choice - exercise - follow your doc's order.. Be here for each other and I may have access when I'm at my son's but don't know what's planned for the weekend - Since most of you are also 50+ thread girls - go ask Phyl or athinerDenise your questions..

Have a good weekend - I will talk to you all later

Hugs & Love

Janet

------------------------------------------------------------

[IndioGirl55 32]

oh ya I forgot - Here's the article in Palm Springs Life magazine that was done on the top 100 doc in my area - my doc was one of the featured doctors and he had them contact me for an interview since he calls me his star lapband patient..

I gave the interview in May but if it was written today - it would say 1 have lost 105 lbs - I wear a size 6 or 4 - I no longer take any blood pressure meds and got rid of the cpap machine..

[Great2BThin 5]

Great article Janet! congrats!! And enjoy your weekend!!

As I get in better and better shape stamina wise I will be able to walk to my club house as well, right now I'd never make it both ways. But I can go further than I used to!

And I am so excited today.......I HIT 50 LBS LOST!!!!!!! That number has been teasing me for a few weeks now and then the set back of surgery it seemed so far away. I had to get on the scale about 4 times to believe it! I'm anxious to see what my primary care doc has to say today at my well woman exam, I've not seen him since before my lap band surgery.

Charlene, Hope your daughter is recovering well.

[wiredshut 0]

Congratulations, Lori! You have got to feel so great! I think the day I hit 50, I'll throw a party right here!!!!! Just as great is the fact that you are feeling better, too. Sometimes things really can go right in the world!

Janet, what an article! You really are an inspiration to us all. I keep thinking that I really don't even want to get back to a size 5 or 6, that I'm just doing this for my health. That's partially true and health was my primary motivator. And then I look at you and say, "Why can't I wish for and work toward that kind of goal? Where is it written that women my age aren't supposed to look as good as they can?" Maybe that's my old New England childhood that saw older women in a very different light. Well, I think when I "grow up," (even though I'm 9 years older than you already) I want to be you instead!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Ellen

Charlene, I'm saying prayers for your daughter.

[bochs 0]

Janet, good article about you and your Dr. You are an inspiration to all of us. Long, CONGRATULATIONS:thumbup: on your 50. Keep up the good work. I am getting my first fill on Monday with flouroscopy so I sure hope it gives me some restriction as I am hungry. I can't wait to get my next 25 off.

Beckyo:tt2:

[Charlene K 1]

Thanks to all for the prayers for my daughter. She is very weepy. I am going to bring her to my house so I can be with her 24/7. The grandbaby is doing great..... and hubby is doing a great job.

Well, I went out to eat for the first time since surgery. I had a 1/4 cup of guacomole and a cheese enchilada. I still did not go over 900calories for the day. It was yum, but not as yum as losing a pound.

I went to the endocrinologist today......thyroid was normal, but Vitamin D in my body is very low so I will have to take a prescription of Vitamin D for six months. I am so glad I started going to a specialist. My primary care doctor would have never checked the vitamin levels. Hopefully, this will prevent osteoporosis.

CONGRATS LORI! Wow, fifty pounds......awesome!:biggrin:

Janet, can we read the article when it comes out?

[JoannMarie 0]

Lori - congratulations on your first 50! I am excited for you, you have worked very hard for this and you are on your way.

Charlene, I hope your daughter continues to improve. Being a new mom is not easy even with the best of circumstances. I am glad she is coming to stay with you - her mom is just what she needs right now. and the new baby - they are so wonderful. I spent 3 weeks with my daughter and their baby boy last spring. It's so much easier to be the grandma... It was a time I cherish.