I'm here to help...

[sndycnrd 1]

Prayers and hugs Julie!!!

[ljv52 2]

Thinking of you Julie and praying all is going well and this will help resolve most of your problems.

Linda

[llkb4me 1]

Hugs and prayers to Julie. Thinking of you.

Janet you are a hottie, didn't need that young man to tell you that.

LauraK

[ljv52 2]

Yes, Janet, I agree with LauraK, but it's always nice to HEAR it -- good for you!!!

[Great2BThin 5]

Okay, I am back home and can post more. I sure hope Julie is okay and recovering well by now. Been thinking of her all morning.

I just realized Daylight Savings time starts this weekend. I AM SO HAPPY!! I just love when the clocks change for that, not too fond of going back to standard time in the fall, I love the extra daylight in the evening.

Janet, I agree you are a hottie, but so nice to hear from others and even a younger other! You rock!

I am struggling some and trying to stay busy. I just miss that grandbaby so much and my daughter and want so badly to be there, but also gotta be careful I don't overwhelm them too. This is their time and their new family starting out. Doesn't help that DH is out of town as well, he'll be back soon though. And I'll be holding that baby no later than Monday. DD told me she'd try and do a video chat on the XBox Kinect this afternoon too so am awaiting that. I have it on in the other room on the LastFM radio playing so if/when she signs on she can see I am on. LOL I also love that Last FM, I can put in a singer I like and it plays their music and others like it and I can either Ban or Love songs so it learns my tastes and plays mostly music I like.

[1day at a time 2]

Melissa - Glad you are going to the shrink - I think you really do need to talk to someone in person - what I am the most concerned about is your diabites and your sugar intake - not your weight issues - your medical conditions are very serious and they are going to kill you - there was an artical in the paper the other day - diabetic have 10 yrs less life span than non-diabetics.. I don't want you dieing....

You are right, so very right

[1day at a time 2]

Melissa, I am glad you are not taking offence to our posts encouraging you to take better care of yourself. I was wondering about your diabetes (I am diabetic too). How often do you check your glucose? What are your results fasting and 2 hours after eating? What was your last A1C? It sounds like sometimes you are watching what you eat and sometimes not. Unfortunately for people like us, inconsistency can cause glucose highs (which can damage our organs) and lows which can cause us to bottom out (equally dangerous). This inconsistency makes dosing our meds very difficult. I would like to help if I can, so please don't take my probing the wrong way. Since I have gotten my eating under control and started exercising I have been able to go from 3 diabetes meds to 1 and my glucose levels have become stable. For us it is about more than the weight, it is about protecting our feet, liver, kidneys and our sight. I would like to help you get things under control. Consistency is the key. First get consistent with your eating so your meds can work for you the way they should and then make small changes. All the while we have to monitor our glucose so we can, with our doctor, make appropriate changes in our meds. I love that you are going to talk to someone. You can talk to me too. If you want we can do it by PM or email.

Sandy - Right now I am supposed to be checking my sugar before Breakfast and 2 hours after dinner. I never can get the 2 hours after dinner. I either fall asleep or forget and have a snack. My A1C was 6.8. It has been 6.5 and a high of 7.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Hugs to Julie. Seems like she was warned this might happen when they replaced the band after some past abdominal infection and surgery? Or was that someone else? She had all kinds of trouble after her gall bladder surgery, too? Adhesions? Am I remembering that right? Could be all her pain meds were masking the source of her pain. Think there's a nerve that travels right up into the neck and shoulder and makes it seem the pain is located there when actually its from the stomach or abdomen. Vega nerve? So the blood loss may have been from internal bleeding caused by the erosion of the band? Laura? Phyll? Praying she's all right.

Janet, your post on codependency was pretty much right on. Codependents are not just people married to addicts. They are frequently people with their own addictions such as food addiction or prescription drug abuse. They are frequently people-pleasers, controllers--bossy and/or manipulative. e.g. my-way-or-the highway, no one can do it right but me, passive aggressive, guilters and shamers, etc. They need to be needed, and will do for others what others should be doing for themselves, patting themselves on the back meanwhile without realizing they've done more harm than good. They mean well. They can play martyr and put themselves and their own needs, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, last. They are rescuers, trying to fix other people, institutions, or situations. They are often humble and proud of it. When they help others it's really all about them helping others and making themselves feel good and superior. I have indulged in many of these behaviors and possibly all of them (and still do.) Most women are codependents, whether by nature or nurture has not yet been determined. Codependents help make the world go round. Every church pastor couldn't run the church without them. They are the volunteer armies, the grease on the wheel. But they also damage themselves and others. Essentially, they need to get their own life, and then out of the overflow of their own fulfillment, do unto and for others without needing love, attention, recognition, or gratitude in return.

Linda, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt as far as neck problems. Herniated discs, spurs, stenosis, major surgery removing bone to relieve pressure on discs and nerves. 11 years ago now. Didn't get fused and glad. Fusions have a poor record. Went to neurosurgeon who recommended the bone removal rather than fusion. Kept a lot more mobility in my neck as a result.

Cheri

[1day at a time 2]

Okay so I confronted my husband last night needless to say we talked slashed argued. I used the examples everyone gave me like bringing booze home to an alcoholic. He said he has put up with my dieting since we were dating so for over 10 years and I guess he is over it. I said if you bring the candy home put it in another place than in his desk where I can get it. I explained sugar and carbs are my drugs of choice. He asked why was I trying to kill myself ? I could not give him an answer except I said I can't control alot of things in my life right now except what I put in my mouth. Which is so stupid cause what I eat make me feel worse. I don't smoke I have a drink sometimes but eating is my drug like so many of us. When I was getting my tattoos the pain hurt but made me felt better like I deserved it. So when I could not use my birthday money to get more work done on my tattoo I was upset and ate. I want to be one of those people who use exercise instead of food to make myself feel better, but even though I live close to work my husband does not like the idea of me walking to work. I am so tired of being told what to do by him. He really is not horrible person I know it sounds like he is but you have to meet him to know how much he gives of himself to his family and friends. I told he yesterday to lay off about my job I like it, I know we have to pay cobra but stop stress over it we can't change it; however in the mean time I have contacted someone I used to work with at my old job who left that company and went somewhere else. I gave him my resume and he said to expect a call in a couple of days because he really liked my work ethic when we worked together and he thought them letting me go was a bad thing they did to me.

Okay so I c my shrink on Tuesday can't wait. Right now as I am typing this I want more than anything to be back to the way I was exercising, taking care of myself. I have the tools I need but my dam head gets in the way okay the carb monster. I bring good stuff to eat for lunch at work I eat that but still have room for a snack. Vending machine crap.

Does this mean I need a fill or is that just head stuff getting in the way. I only ask cause I am supposed to go c my LB Dr on Monday and don't know if I should push my appt back talk to the shrink get my head back in order give myself a chance to use my tools before spending the $100 I really don't have. Even though he might give me a fill.

Opinions about the LB Dr anyone? I hope this answer alot of questions everyone had. I Love you all and you are all such wonderful friends. Maybe the next big adventure could be you all come to Ga and we can meet. I would so Love that.

[1day at a time 2]

Janet, your post on codependency was pretty much right on. Codependents are not just people married to addicts. They are frequently people with their own addictions such as food addiction or prescription drug abuse. They are frequently people-pleasers, controllers--bossy and/or manipulative. e.g. my-way-or-the highway, no one can do it right but me, passive aggressive, guilters and shamers, etc. They need to be needed, and will do for others what others should be doing for themselves, patting themselves on the back meanwhile without realizing they've done more harm than good. They mean well. They can play martyr and put themselves and their own needs, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, last. They are rescuers, trying to fix other people, institutions, or situations. They are often humble and proud of it. When they help others it's really all about them helping others and making themselves feel good and superior. I have indulged in many of these behaviors and possibly all of them (and still do.) Most women are codependents, whether by nature or nurture has not yet been determined. Codependents help make the world go round. Every church pastor couldn't run the church without them. They are the volunteer armies, the grease on the wheel. But they also damage themselves and others. Essentially, they need to get their own life, and then out of the overflow of their own fulfillment, do unto and for others without needing love, attention, recognition, or gratitude in return.

Cheri

Cheri - I am a people pleaser I know that about myself. I try to make sure everyone is happy so I can feel love or admiration from them

[Charlene K 1]

Wow, I am praying for you Julie. I remember the last time you were in the hospital and all the setbacks you had. I am so glad you called Apples. Love ya Bunches!

Lori, I know your arms must be aching to hold you new granddaughter. You DD is really going to need you when she goes back to work. Trust me......she will NEED you!

Linda, Hugs on the hip issues......and the teeth thing...OUCH! You are brave. I don't know what to do about a dentist. My dentist had a massive heart attack last Monday while playing raquetball. I was a health nut. Anyway, he passed away last Wednesday at 64yrs. He was my dentist for 35 years. I am still in shock that he is gone. He is the last person I thought would die young.

Apples, I hope you are have a good day even though it might be snowing. Think happy thoughts about AZ.

Cheri, well, you just about covered all of us including the US Government......the biggest enabler of all. The difference between what I was and what I am now is wisdom to know the difference. I only wish I had learned about enabling before I had my kids. Then they wouldn't feel so entitled. Sorry if I offended anyone.....just venting!

I got my fillers. I got a deal. I had an appointment at noon. The nurse came in and put the numbing cream on around 1p. I didn't get the fillers till almost 2p. So, I got my botox free. I only paid 400 for the Radiesse. My face is swollen and red. I think the botox raised my brow and lids, and the Radiese filled in my deep lines, but you can only do so much to my mug. We will see.

[Great2BThin 5]

Thanks Janet and Cheri for describing co-dependent, it sounds different yet some similarities to enabling. I am a people pleaser too so have that trait and in some ways controlling in wanting it done right type ways, but on the other hand am not a rescuer at all sometimes I feel as if I am too cold in that area. You've opened my eyes a lot to what the term meant.

Arlene, so what are these fillers supposed to do? decrease wrinkles? are you happy with the results. Not sure I could deal with the needles in my face. I'll just have to grow old and get wrinkly LOL like a shar-pei puppy. LOL

[Charlene K 1]

Thanks Janet and Cheri for describing co-dependent, it sounds different yet some similarities to enabling. I am a people pleaser too so have that trait and in some ways controlling in wanting it done right type ways, but on the other hand am not a rescuer at all sometimes I feel as if I am too cold in that area. You've opened my eyes a lot to what the term meant.

Arlene, so what are these fillers supposed to do? decrease wrinkles? are you happy with the results. Not sure I could deal with the needles in my face. I'll just have to grow old and get wrinkly LOL like a shar-pei puppy. LOL

The Botox just feels like a pin prick, but the filler hurts for a couple of minutes. She put ice packs on my face right away. By the time I left the office I felt fine. The fillers fill in the deep wrinkles around the mouth.....the marionette lines. They don't get all of them, but smooths out the face. I don't know if I will do it again. She told me it will last one to two years. The Botox lasts four months. Botox is a lot cheaper than Radiese.

[Great2BThin 5]

The Botox just feels like a pin prick, but the filler hurts for a couple of minutes. She put ice packs on my face right away. By the time I left the office I felt fine. The fillers fill in the deep wrinkles around the mouth.....the marionette lines. They don't get all of them, but smooths out the face. I don't know if I will do it again. She told me it will last one to two years. The Botox lasts four months. Botox is a lot cheaper than Radiese.

Post a pic when the redness goes away, I am anxious to see you grow younger before my eyes! I hope you are pleased with the results.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Lori, you are expected to rescue your grandmother, and be there for your mother and sisters while getting nothing in return and you used to do it and then feel awful because you were then excluded. That's right in the codependent family of behaviors. Enabling is one of the chief characteristics of codependency. We do for others what they ought to do for themselves. We are the soft pillow between their head and a brick wall. We hinder trying to help. We're all guilty.

One of the things I'm proud of this group for is that we tell it like it is to people on this band. Maybe it's easier in cyberspace but it's good practice for real life.

Cheri