I'm here to help...

[ocotillo 0]

Lori, I think I know why everyone wants you to take care of everything...it's because you aren't working in a regular job. I sort of see that happening with me. DH is beginning to figure out that I'm not working...hahahaha...so I can do everything else. Well isn't it amazing how much time all that everything else consumes. I used to think the same thing about my sisters, they aren't working so why can't they do......whatever. Well, I'm finding out different. One sister does a lot the other sister sits and watches TV too much, so it goes both ways. I don't think you are a sit and watch TV sort of person.

Linda, some of the SF stuff is sweetened with sorbitol. That will cause really bad gas. A lot of SF hard candy has sorbitol and I really can't eat it. So your warning is a good thing. That's funny about the rug.

Janet, I do the Calcium chews too, but am good about only eating one of those. Take them with my pills.

Arlene, you know your Mom sounds like a reasonable woman. Glad she had her wrist set and hope it heals quickly. It would be easier on you if she would stay with you but it might be more stressful too.

Cheri, take care of yourself. Don't let the gremlins get you down.

It's funny to read Apples post about shorts and sandals because I'm in long sleeves and jackets now. It's not really cold, but cold enough for me. And no, I'm not a people pleaser, I just know what I like. I wanted to set the house up the way I would like to find it if I was going to stay there for an extended time. She had to buy her own coffee pot because I didn't have a 2nd one so it's not completely furnished (have to have a coffee pot you know).

I'm going to work on my document today and do a little house keeping before they get here. I actually am feeling good about not having obligations hanging over my head. Yipee!!

BBL,

Eva

[Great2BThin 5]

Eva, who needs a coffe pot? LOL Yucky Pooey LOL My friend I meet here a lot, about once a week, we meet at McDs. She's a huge coffee drinker and me not at all so there I can get a $1 soft drink and she gets her $1 coffee and we gab for hours with free refills. LOL I think you are partially right about them expecting me to do things because I don't work. But even when I was working and living in Denver it was the same way. I also think they know it will get done. One sis is how shall I say 'very mentally fragile' so everyone is afraid to ask her to do much and the ohter well she's a whiner. But it's harder now that I don't live there. Sometimes it sucks being the responsible one. LOL Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to whine about it, I enjoy all I do for my grandma and feel very fortunate to have her in my life and to be able to do for. My problem is when I am 'expected' to do it by the rest of the family or critiqued because they would've done things differently.

Linda, forgot to comment on the rug. Too funny. Yep our DH's are afraid we are not only going to work our a$$ off but the carpet fibers too. LOL

Arlene, we didn't get your usual check in post in the morning. You must have your hands full with your mom and all. Take care of yourself too though! She's lucky to have you.

[ocotillo 0]

LauraK, sounds like you'll be bundled up like that little kid in "A Christmas Story"....only your eyes will be visible. At least you are out there walking.

Lori, we have Safeways all over the place in Tucson...Safeways, Frys, at least one Basha's, Albertsons, and food City. Those are the major ones, then there is Trader Joes, Sunflower, Sprouts, Whole Foods, AJ's and maybe others I'm not aware of. No problem shopping here.

This county reached over a million people a couple of years ago. I'm sure we've dropped a little in population with the economy, but not a whole lot. We don't have quite all the stores the Phoenix area has, but we have most of them. If you like city living, it's not a bad place to be.

Janet, 68 degrees today and partly cloudy. I'm sure Apples thinks it's heaven. It's supposed to be in the 70's tomorrow.

Okay, I really do have to work.

Eva

[sndycnrd 1]

Sandy....with your dad was as open as Arlene's mom with getting the help he needs (but not all help from you). Hugs to you, too.

Apples, Glad to hear you are enjoying the weather and the proximity to shopping. How great that you found a place that allows Tanker to come with and that he has a play date already lined up. We have traveled with our lab and it is always a challenge to find a place that will allow dogs. How long are you planning on staying in AZ?

I too, wish my Dad was more open to getting the help he needs. I can draw a comparison to obese people. Our doctors, friend and family can all tell us we need to lose weight for the good of our health but do we listen? No, we don’t, we just keep on down the path of self destruction until one day the light bulb goes off in our head, or we have that Ah Ha moment and seek the help we need to improve our lives. If that ah ha moment doesn’t happen then we get more and more unhealthy and for the most part, die prematurely. I think some seniors are the same way. They ignore the good advice they receive. Here’s hopeing my Dad has his ephinay soon. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that will ever happen. He is very stubborn and set in his ways.

The sad thing is he seems to expect help from others and returns nothing for it. For example, I went to pick him up to take him to PT yesterday after work. We had gotten about 4 inches of snow. I just backed the car up the drive to get near the door and shoveled a path from the door to the car. My Dad got in the car and proceded to complain that the one neighbor will blow the snow off of his drive but the brother of the neighbor (who lives in the same house) will not. I told him that was very nice of the one brother to do that however, it was not the neighbor’s responsibility to take care of his drive. I had suggested that he give the neighbor a generous Xmas gift for all of the help they have given him this year but my plea fell on deaf ears. He takes, but feels no inclination to give back. Thankfully, my husband had the drive cleared before we returned from PT. I truly believe that the reason he refused to allow help to be brought in is that he will have to pay for it. I know that sounds terrible for me to say but it is true. He expects I will do it, no matter how tired I am, and that is ok with him because he doesn’t have to pay me. So I am stuck in a bad spot, he expects, I am tired, and unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to demand a different arrangement. I feel like a bad daughter and so guiltywhen I get angry about the situation. Almost ike it is my duty or something. Sorry to ramble on so. It just feels good to let it out.

[ocotillo 0]

Sandy, my parents had a real problem paying for stuff when they got older too. They had unreasonable expectations about those things. Ask your Dad if he was there for his parents and shoveled their driveway for free when he was your age? It probably won't have any impact on him, but maybe. I hope and pray I'm not that way when I get to be our parents age. Who knows though.

[Apples2 19]

Eva....there is a chill this morning so can see why you would be wearing a jacket. I'm still in my flannel jammies but have been sitting outside on the porch with Tanker. Did you see how carefully I worded that people pleasing thing? I wouldn't want to be called one either but I like to see ppl's needs met also. Sandals WILL be worn today but think long pants are in order.

DH is off to visit his dad. He called and told him to do some thinking on where he wants to lunch. Think we are going up there on Sunday and I will make a picnic lunch and spend of time with him. We also have friends in Gold Canyon that are wanting us to visit. Maybe next week. This guy is one of Keith's best friends. He's a farmer and does trucking for us and about ready to retire. We rent some of his land. DH will find lots of things to do with him while we are here. Also, "Mom's" son (my adopted bro) and his wife are in the same area as FIL. We stopped to visit them on the way here.

Linda and Great...I think wearing a hole in the carpet would be a good thing. I should go into the ugly carpet bedroom in the basement of our house and wear a hole in that. DH always says "That carpet is perfectly fine". Fine if you like ugly.

[Apples2 19]

Gosh Sandy....you should try to stop the guilt when it comes to trying to please your dad 24/7. (Easier said than done, I know). It looks to me that you are doing everything you can for him. You sound very frustrated and have every right as a daughter to try and find an alternative to being so tied down with him. Just getting a little bit of relief and someone else doing some of the care for him would make a difference and lift the burden.

There are a lot of ppl your dad's age that don't consider payment for duties done and I bet at this stage you cannot change that about him. Hopefully when his arm heals you will get a break. But, this bout with him is a good reminder to have a family meeting and have a plan of action in place for the future.

Have been listening to a local Tucson station the last couple of days. Just is so sad about the shootings. Watched Dateline on Sunday night. Sounds like Gifford is quite the Congress woman. Sounds like she is a person that is not in it for herself but for the people. Hoping for a full recovery for her and cannot even imagine how the families are feeling that lost loved ones. For as long as I live, I will never understand what brings a person to the point of doing something like this. Pent up anger....well....mental illness, I guess.

[Charlene K 1]

Just checking in. I talked to my mom this morning. She wanted to know what day it was and the date. She said she guessed we had celebrated Christmas. What??? She said she had been in a bad dream and wanted to know what had happened to her. What????? She said she will do whatever we think is best for her. I told her to stay in the nursing home till next week when she sees the doctor again. That will give me time to make arrangements for assisted living or assistance in her apt. She doesn't want to come over to my house because she needs physical therapy and wants to take it there. When the nursing home becomes long term I will move her.

Sndy, I know what you are going through. My FIL prided himself on paying for any help until he got older and sick. Then when my MIL got sick too he wanted to know about the FREE help from the church. I never saw him give free help. We had to pay out of our own pockets for nursing care for my MIL till he was gone a month later. My DM was fighting paying for her nursing care until today. This is not my first rodeo dealing with old age dementia, but it doesn't make it easier.

Apples,.......so happy you are warmer. I know you will enjoy AZ. Love seeing that green again.

Eva, I know you and Apples will have a great time. I wish I could come out there for a weekend. I could use some drier climate although we are having a beautiful day.

Linda, Brrrrrrr.....warm Hugs for you!

Okay, I need a low calorie recipe for White Chili. I don't remember who gave me the last one I made and my DH requested it today. Was it one of you?

[IndioGirl55 32]

Sandy

You are not a bad daughter and there is nothing wrong with saying I can't do it all - I work - I have a life too - He only broke his arm - OMG it's not like he had a stroke - It's funny how old pple revert to being babies.. I forget - do you have any family there to help,..

Aren't there places that will come and pick him up to take him to pt ?? I know we have services like that here in the Desert.

Eva - I too would have the house like I would like if I were staying there too.. Yep 68 closed in shoes - sweater and long pants - that's sweater weather for me ;o)

Charlene - I know Phyl makes white chili

here's some links

http://www.food.com/recipe/white-chili-low-fat-low-cal-444510

http://www.food.com/recipe/pats-low-fat-white-chili-288695

http://www.mccormick.com/Recipes/Main-Dish/Southwest-White-Chili.aspx

Great - Hawaii - you are just way too lucky - I would like a couple days on the beach myself ..

[sndycnrd 1]

I would like a recipe for low cal white chili too. I have a football party to go to and need to bring something. I would like to bring something that I can eat because I need to stay away from the dips and hot wings. Chili would be perfect.

Charlene, hugs on your Mom. It is hard, even when they accept help. It sounds like she is becoming confused. Do they have her on pain medicine? That may be causing the confusion.

It has been 4 weeks now with my Dad's arm. The doc said the bone will be healed at 6 weeks but he will need PT to recover complete use. Thanks for the understanding and support. I will give him until 6 weeks to see where things stand. At that point, if he is not fully functioning I will insist he hire help. I cannot keep this up forever and it is unfair of him to expect it. The frustrating part for me is that the way he acts you would think he is penniless. I know this is not true since I am on all of his accounts "just in case". I don't think he needs to pay me however, when a neighbor goes above and beyond, as his has done, some sort of compensation or even an occasional nice gift is in order to show appreciation. He can afford to pay for in-home help. There is no financial need for me to pay for it. Eva, I can answer the question - he was not there for his parents. A nephew lived with his mother until she passed and his father had an appartment. He would come over every two weeks on Sunday for dinner. There was nothing more than that. I hope and pray that when I get old I have the presence of mind to remember and not put my daughter through this.

[sndycnrd 1]

Janet, I have a sister - not much help. Yes, there are services that would pick him up and take him to PT BUT he would have to pay for that. I dont get it because like I said in the previous post, he can afford it. Yes, big baby.

[Apples2 19]

Arlene....is your mom on meds that make her slip a bit? Would always happen to MIL on certain meds but otherwise had her wits about her until she passed. Try not to worry. Hugs.

I have posted a couple different chili recipes and make the white chicken chili a number of ways. I have one that I start by stewing chicken and use the broth. You can start it that way and then add the following to the diced chicken and broth. I use the entire chicken (white and dark meat) but you can just do white meat. I add about 4 stalks diced celery, 1 diced green and 1 diced red pepper, about 2 cups juilianne carrots and 1 diced medium onion while cooking.

1 large can V-8 juice

2 tsp. chili powder

1 tsp cummin

1 can black Beans

1 can butter beans

1 can chili beans

1 can garbonzo beans

1 pint fat free sour cream

Make sure to rinse all Beans except chili beans. I just add it all together and stew for a few hours. Be sure to stir gently once in awhile if on stove top. Can throw in slowcooker also.

[Charlene K 1]

Thanks Apples. I don't like butter Beans...may put extra of another kind. My mother has been on Cipro. That could have clouded her memory, but I think it was the stress of the fracture and getting it set. When she gets anxious she gets confused. I expect her to be better tomorrow. Let's see who wakes up tomorrow.....lol.

Janet, the WW leader said it is not uncommon to stay the same or even gain when starting the WW program. I am believing I have started my way down again. My goal is 1lb a week.

Thanks for the links! Speaking of links....lol....I just ate a chicken sausage link with mozarella in it. 3pts.

I off to get my annual mammogram. Later!

[1day at a time 2]

Well everyone still stranded at home. It is 27 degrees and we will get a low of 17 tonight so everything melting now will refreeze over night. School canceled again tomorrow. I think people are starting to go stir crazy here in GA. Funny but not funny 4 people have been injured in sledding accidents. We have never had this much snow so people don't know what to do so when they use make shift sleds they are getting hurt. Tons of places are closed including banks. Also major roads are closed as well. Just got a call saying schools are closed again tomorrow. I think everyone in Ga is ready for things to get back to normal. At my house we have power and stuff but we have been playing board games to keep from getting bored. Maybe this is mother natures way of saying slow down enjoy what you have cause you never know.

[Meredith2424 0]

Apples~ Sorry, I missed your check in post the first time. Glad you made it safe and sound. It sounds like you are enjoying it already and fitting right in! I could never imagine living far away from stores and such. I live 2 blocks from the grocery store and will walk in the summertime with my little cart. It looks funny, but I don't care. Have a good time with Eva today! Wish I could be there! It is freezing here as well and my car is covered in snow since I didn't put it into the garage. Ugh. You are NOT missing out! Trust me! Enjoy. Oh, also, you are completely right! I feel so much better now that I am back on track and feeling good about my weight loss so far. However, not so happy about my lack of motivation to go exercise. I am confident that it will happen. Have fun!!!!

Sandy & Arelene~ So sorry about the stuggles with the parents. I see my father struggling with the same thing every day. Just this morning he went and did all of grandmas snow for her. He pretty much takes her a meal every single day as well. I also see the same thing with her wanting the "free" services. Last year she wanted her taxes done for free from the local senior center at the library. Well, we didn't know that they only did 10 per day or whatever and it was first come first serve. I ended doing them for her. That was the first time I ever did anyone elses taxes and now, I pay my tax guy to do mine! I just hope that all of these stressors ease up for you guys. I'm sorry you both are going through such a tough time.

Lori~ The 5 generation pic will be awesome! What a wonderful thing! I think that nowadays it is pretty rare.

Ok, well, I've been putting off doing the snow and going to the grocery. I just do not want to go out in this crap. I keep looking at the guys driveway across the street. Before it started snowing again a few min ago his drive was completely dry! I don't get it! I swear he must have a heated drive and sidewalk or something! LOL! After I did the drive last night it snowed some more and now I have another 2 inches on it. What is this guys secret!?!?! Haha! I'm turning into an old lady now! Being in the house for a few days will do this I guess.

Only had 1/4 of the grapefruit last night. So, I think I only had 650 cal yesterday. I just wasn't hungry at all. So far today I have only had a slim fast. I guess I'm still not hungry today either. But, I will make Andrew his tacos for dinner. I will just have a little meat, lettuce, and taco sauce.

Ok, now I'm rambling. More later.