I'm here to help...

[ljv52 2]

Lori/Great -- you DD's MIL is simply a control freak and is being ridiculous. You should e-mail her and tell her neither you or your DD are the hostesses and you do not feel you have the right to ask the hostess to change the date/place. Tell her she is welcome to attend, but if she must send her regrets, YOU will forgive her. What is wrong with people??? I feel so sorry for your DD to have to put up with this woman. Is she an alcoholic or a drug addict? With people like her you must be very direct and don't beat around the bush - if she can't forgive you /your daughter than that's her problem and her problem only.

I know it's tough but you gotta hold your own now or it'll only get worse - especially after the baby is born. Your DD needs to take hold of the lasso and rope this woman into reality. She is the one that's nuts, not your dd.

Hugs,

Linda

[Great2BThin 5]

Thanks LInda and Meredith for your input, it helps a lot. No I don't think she's a drug addict or anything like that. She's just very into herself and has always been able to control her husband and sons and now that there's another woman in the picture in the form of my daughter, she's not happy. I feel sorry for my SIL he's never done anything, even their vacations as kids were to cities with good craft stores so she could fuel her obsession. DD says this woman's basement belongs on the TV show Hoarders. Until their honeymoon, DSIL had never seen the ocean even. IMHO no one has stood up to her and now when someone does she doesn't know how to react other than in anger. She's like a spoiled child. Bad thing is she is very close to my MIL and takes her sob stories to my MIL and gets her on her side as well. It's just an ugly ugly situation that has caused many family rifts. I saw Jodi's FB post today wishing for a different family today that would be me too at least for today. LOL

Good news, DD just had her dr appt and she's doing well. Hasn't dialated any more, cervix also hasn't shortened. She's doing so well she doesn't have to go back to dr for 2 weeks, but to continue on the restrictions.

[ljv52 2]

Hi everyone. Not much happening here - in the middle of a huge storm that is supposed to dump about 8 to 10 inches of snow overnight and until noon tomorrow. It didn't start until about 2, so not too bad yet.

Congrats Meredith on your math test - -forgot to mention that before and on your weight -- you're doing great!!! By the way, did your test for mono ever come back? I don't think I ever heard if it was mono or not.

Great, I responded without reading what Meredith wrote -- we both had basically the same reaction so I think our responses are true to the facts of the situation. Some people just cannot give up control. What a BBBBB____ch she is. You're poor DD.

Anyway, not much to report, had Water aerobics this morning and pool was too cold -- hate it when its cold, but they had a swim meet Sat and they always turn the pool down for that.

Eva, you must be busy getting ready for Apples to arrive at your MIL house.

I'll cbl. Hope Apples checks in soon.

Jodi, I'm so jealous that you get to vacation and see the girls the end of January. Have a great time. It will be great for Dassi to meet Janet and the gang too.

Charlene, how's your mom doing today? Thinking of you too.

Have a great night all.

Linda

[Charlene K 1]

I am back from putting my mother in the nursing home for rehab. I think she will only stay a few days and then home health will make visits. We have the front moving in tomorrow so I am not going back until Friday. My FM is kicking big time. She is in good hands.

Lori, you know my MIL was like your DD's MIL. She was a butt at all of our wedding functions because she did not want me marrying her son. Reason.....I was Catholic. Then she was a butt whenever I had a baby. We ended up being very close......it took years. Your right, she is spoiled. I doubt she will change. Your DD should have the shower whenever she wants it. MIL can take a personal day off.

Linda, I know about those cold pools. I think before I go back to Water aerobics I am calling that morning to check on the temp of the pool. Thanks for the prayers for my mom.

Apples........please check in! We want to know if you made it safe to AZ.

Julie.......are you okay?

I am going to go take a hot bubble bath and soak my aching back. Later!

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

So made just lost a whole long post GRRRRRR

I remember 'tule' fog well from living in Sacramento, I had to be to work at 4am and hated driving on I-5 to the airport in it. One gal that worked at the airport was killed in it one morning. So sad.

Ok, gals, looking for opinions about a baby shower. My friend is throwing DD a baby shower on the 29th and she's holding it at the rec center where she works (and I used to ) she can rent the room for free. It's the only date available til end of Feb. We chose this date due to the fact DD has been having the contractions and after the first of Feb the dr will take her off the RX that is controlling the contractions and off bed rest, and allow her to go into labor if that so happens. DD would like the shower before the baby comes. PROBLEM: DD's MIL informed her last night that she has to work that day (she's a nurse) and demands the shower be rescheduled. And also that it shouldn't be at the rec center. She just doesn't like the place. She's not offering any alternatives either and thinks the shower should be after the baby. First, this is my friend that is having the shower, not me and I think it's a wonderful thing of her to do (she also threw a bridal shower for her at the same place). She is inviting family but it wasn't necessarily a family shower. It's all our family and friends on our side of the family. She's free to throw another shower. Is it wrong to still have the shower when both grandmas can't be there? She is saying if DD doesn't change it that she will forever hold it against her (and me). This is the same woman that didn't want her son to marry my daughter, told my daughter she needed mental help, wasn't good enough, etc. She was horrible during the wedding preps, did nothing to help, and at the bridal shower, said she wasn't interested and came 45 min late and sat and cried the whole time. I feel if we change the date, it's caving to her demands and setting a precedent, DD has given in to her so many times in teh past and it's never enough anyway. What would you do? DD is beside herself, said that something that was supposed to be so joyous and fun has now become ugly and she feels stuck.

Sounds like your DD's MIL wants to ruin the shower and your DD's relationship with her DH. She wants to be proven right that her DS shouldn't have married your DD. She's willing to risk your daughter's health and her grandchild's health by upsetting her as much as she possibly can while her pregnancy is in a precarious state.

Your DD and her DH need to sit down together and decide how to deal with her. My suggestion would be that DH tell his DM that she has a choice: be in her grandchild's life, or not. If she wants to be in her grandchild's life, she has to keep her opinions to herself and stop causing trouble for his wife. If she doesn't want to participate in the shower, that would be sad for her. If he is not able to stand up to his mother for the sake of his wife and unborn child, then your DD and her DH have some serious issues to resolve between them. If he doesn't man up, your DD will have to be the one to write her MIL and tell her she's sorry she won't be attending the shower . Just that and no more. Then DD needs to breathe a sigh of relief that she won't have to deal with that biatch at the shower and can go ahead and have a good time. As far as you MIL is concerned, Lori, I think you should let your DH deal with her if she takes sides on this. Again, the "we want you to be part of your great-grandchild's life but if you choose not to, we will live with that" is the kind of boundary that needs to be set.

By the way, I've only read the most recent posts, so don't know what's been going on. Recap anyone? I was with grandchildren all Saturday and Sunday so am way behind. My 4 year old DGD was teaching me how to use my Wii Fit Plus part of that time. LOL.

Linda, I do remember your news about Aylah's mom. Hugs, girlfriend. It's always tough to be tough with someone who's the parent of a dear grandchild. You may need to be proactive in filing for temporary custody of Aylah in preparation for the mandatory reporting.

Kelly, congrats.

Cheri

[Great2BThin 5]

Cheri, I've thought the same thing, I really think DD's MIL doesn't care if she weakens the marriage as she didn't want it in the first place. First and foremost the MIL wants to be proven right. Forgot to mention in my original post, she accused DD of faking the contractions and that it is just gas.

AS for my MIL, DH has sat down with her in the past and drew some very good boundaries, since that time she has been good. However, am nervous to see how she responds this time and if she crosses that boundary, I know DH will pounce. I think she knows it to, but time has a way of making one forget or want to retest those boundaries. Thanks for your input, it's always so insightful.

As for an update, lets see if I can remember.

We've had some ill mothers, Phyl's mom is better and Arlenes mom went to rehab today.

Meredith passed her math test and lost 9 lbs! WOO HOO Meredith.

Apples left 2 days ago and checked in the first day from KS but didn't check in yesterday so not sure where she made it to.

Phyl is trying to take some control back from Earl in the kitchen

and jokes if her 46 yr marriage can make it to 50. LOL She also got in trouble for taking the cart and Zoey and visiting a neighbor and Earl not knowing where she was.

Janet is probably at the gym. LOL

Linda's DSD may be reported to the authorities as a drug user and lose custody of her child.

LauraK, had a good time at a singles dance and we are wanting to know if Mr Filet Mignon was there. LOL

Kelly checked in and is down 50 lbs.

TX checked in and is doing well and getting ready for fill number 2, he also had a great NSV

Eva, is doing yard work and got work at home work from her friend. She's also having a hard time with the senseless shooting in Tuscon.

I know there's more but that's all I remember now. Someone else fill in the gaps???

oh and we have not heard from Julie and are missing her

[ladykcusa 1]

Jodi - I'll be in Tucson - how close is Palm Desert? Have a great visit and enjoy the warm temperature. Maybe we can see each other there.

Meredith - Wow - so close to goal. Congrats GF - and way to go on math exam.

Another workout today and first with personal trainer. Tracking foods in on-line journal (livestrong.com) and marching toward goal again.

Afternoon appt @ the Apple store to increase knowledge of Mac. About 6" of snow in K.C., but have the winter car out and 4 wheel drive. Snow is gorgeous right now. Will turn to slush in a few days.

[sndycnrd 1]

Just checking in. I wanted to let you know, after all of my drama with the complacency stuff, that I lost 4 pounds this week. I guess I finally got my head back where it belongs.

Great, I feel bad for your daughter. I am sure that she feels caught in the middle. I agree with the others, you need to tell this woman that you are not planning the shower so the date and time are out of your hands. I would also let her know that you completely understand if she cannot make it and maybe she would like to plan her own shower on a day that is convenient for her. It sounds like a little butt kicking is in order.

Phyl and Charlene - hugs on your moms.

[ladykcusa 1]

Lori - nice job with the recap.

Regarding the shower for DD - I firmly agree with Linda's suggestion. Puts the ball back in MIL's court. " We will miss you at the shower and forgive you for not being able to join us. "

So happy to hear that DD does NOT need to see the doctor for two weeks.

[Charlene K 1]

Sndy......WOOHOO ON THE 4LBS!!!!

[ocotillo 0]

Just a FYI.... Apples is here and settling in to her new abode. Didn't spend much time with her because they are both tired and need a little time to adjust.

I'll read the posts and catch up a little later.

Eva

[Great2BThin 5]

I hope Karen is defrosting in Tucson nicely.

I just had to come on and post and tell Janet that I just got done with my 2nd workout today. I am leaving the house at 5am tomorrow morning for my flight to Denver and won't be home until later tomorrow evening. Soooo I did tomorrow's workout tonight. DH did it with me and was impressed. it was much harder than he thought it was. He wore the heartrate monitor and had his way up there too. I did the squat workout that had my legs so sore. I am evily hoping he has sore leg muscles tomorrow. LOL

Thing is with DD's MIL, she's not communicating any of this via me or even DD all through DSIL, I would tell her that and am tempted to send her an email in a day or two if it continues saying something along the lines, I am sorry you won't be able to make the shower, you will be missed, however this is the date that the person giving it can do it, I understand perfectly if you want to have your own shower at another time. Did I mention earlier that she thinks DD is faking the contractions? SHEESH! She's a NICU RN and saw the monitors on DD in the hospital and even heard the dr in the room.

[ocotillo 0]

Lori, I have to agree with the consensus here...Let MIL know she'll be missed but plans have been made. Wow, it amazes me that some people have to have all the control all the time.

Joyce, Palm Desert and Tucson are about 6+ hours away from each other. It may all be desert, but it isn't the same desert.

Jodi, yep those families can sure get to you. You are going to be in the desert for two weeks? Cool.

Sandy, congrats on the progress....that is really great.

Meredith, congratulations on graduation and the math test. That is an awesome accomplishment (speaking from experience here.) You deserve a big pat on the back.

Charlene, glad your Mom is getting settled. Is the rehab place any closer to you than where she normally lives?

Cheri, how are you enjoying the Wii?

Linda, hope you stay warm in that snow storm.

Kelly, so excited that you are going to start school. I start on the 18th, but just for my own personal stuff, not for any career plans like you. You go and good for you.

Apples made it here earlier that she expected. I was still in Phoenix and not even at Ikea yet when she was 90 minutes out so they went visiting and hung out a bit in town. She made it to the house when my friend and I were unloading the new mattress. At least she'll have a decent bed (I hope), new sheets, and a place to let Tanker out. I left a mess there because I ran out of time, but I know she'll want to stay busy and can organize stuff the way she wants it.

I took a friend to Phoenix with me and it was very nice to have someone to visit with on that drive. We stopped by a leather store, and oh my was the furniture nice. I want to go back and look at that stuff again. It was pricey, but looked fabulous. There were other things there I wanted to look at also, but we just didn't have enough time...I think that is my biggest whine lately, where's the time.

Okay, I'm going to finish my stew. Hope everyone has a great night!

Eva

[llkb4me 1]

ok posted earlier but the delete monster got it.

Mr Filet Mignon did not come to the party on Saturday. I am finding that he likes to gamble a bit much for my liking. I did meet someone at the the party. I enjoyed talking with him so we'll see.

Kelly, go for it you can do or be what ever you want.

Meridith, wtg you are right in the game again.

Great, a big ditto from me on the MIL issue for your DD.

I'll do the northern whine while Apples is gone, I am so sick of this cold weather........

Ok got that out of my system for a bit.

LauraK

[Charlene K 1]

UGH! My mother just called .........she fell and sprained her wrist. She forgot to use her walker. I told her if she had been in her apt she would have laid there till tomorrow. She agreed. They took a x-ray of her wrist. I guess we will go to the bone dr tomorrow if it is broken. Now she realized why we wanted her in the nursing home for a few days. Her mind is foggy not to mention her balance problem.

Eva, no my mother is in the same place just down in the nursing home. She lives on the sixth floor and it is a little too far for her to walk to therapy. If she ever goes to a nursing home for long term I will move her about a mile from my house. I have already picked out a new place. Hey, I am still have a few bags of that good tea you gave me. I will have to drink it this week during this freeze. YUM!

I am glad Apples made it.

Lori, MIL is having a hard time letting go of baby boy. Yeah, I think that would be a nice to tell her she will be missed.

Be safe tomorrow!

Going to bed. I need my rest. Looks like my 87 year old mother will keep me hopping for a while. When I was helping her pull up her underwear she said that paybacks were "hell". No disagreement here. lol