I'm here to help...

[phyllser 3]

A brief pictoral history of my week!! Red Hat luncheon on Mon, Red Hat area Christmas party on Thurs, Golf Cart parade on Sat, Parade of Lights last night. Little angel was riding the back of one of the golf carts. She spotted Zoey at the end of the parade and it was love at first sight. There are several cute pictures, but I love this one where her halo has now fallen over her eyes but you can still see her grinning from ear to ear!! And I think Zoey is smiling, too!!! LOL!

Marine Band concert was Thursday evening, but I didn't post any photos of that. But that's where the files got that name! They were on the same SD card!

[Charlene K 1]

Phyl, I love your golf cart! Your my kind of gal. I also love your outfit! The place you live at looks like a place I would like to stay for the winter. I know it is mild down here, but too damp for me.

Lori, I only started doing cards again last year. I am sending them again this year. You will see why. The quality of the picture is not that good because it was taken with my iphone, but hey someone offered to take it. It is rare that we are in a photo together. I wouldn't worry about not sending cards. My card sending is a year to year thing. My G-kids are going to get a shock next year because I am cutting my budget in half. I have refused to do it in the past, but my g-kids get too much stuff. I would rather clothe or feed a needy family next year.

[JeweI 2]

Sandy, No I never had imagined I could do such a thing. I am amazed at how well I did it. No cramping or sprained ankle despite dodging the walkers. I thought only super fit people did these things. Never me at 203 pounds. My family kept saying how proud they were. Hubby wasn't even paying attention cause I shaved 8 minutes off my time. He wasn't expecting me. My brother saw me and told him to pay attention I was on my way across. It was hard to sleep last night.

Thank you all for constantly cheering me on. These accomplishments and you guys sure are good for self esteem.

This morning I got up and went for a brisk walk on the treadmill. Get right back to it. I have another 5k in 6 weeks. I gotta work on beating my time. I am actually trying to get 30 minutes of exercise in everyday this month. So far so good. A friend of mine online challenged some of us to join her in it. I am wondering what to do when I go on vacation the 26-28 we are going to stone mountain GA. I don't want to blow it those 3 days. I guess I'll be getting up early and running. Just haven't really run on inclines like there are in the mountains. Where we are staying has a heated pool indoors. Considering swimming, I am not a good swimmer at all. And My inlaws think 2 pieces are sinful. Either way I'm gonna get it done. I wanna be in onderland by new years. 4 pounds left and I will be.

Learned my lesson today about what I allow in the house. Mil brought my son home from staying over and gave him a bag of homemade Cookies. My first thought, "I gotta throw these away". But I thought that might be mean to throw my sons Cookies out. Next thing you know I have eatten 2. Shoulda gone with my gut. But I let an excuse in and the fat girl won. I let Jake eat what he wanted and got rid of the rest. There is a reason I don't let them in here. I want this to be my safe temptation free zone. Maybe one day I won't need to do it this way but for now I do.

[Great2BThin 5]

OK gals, I may need some help here. I don't know how many of you picked up on that met me, I am not a terribly confident, outgoing person. One of the things I hate because I am so nervous doing it is entertaining. I just hate having people over (besides family). Well DH has been pestering and pestering me to have some folks over for dinner or something and while DD was here she joined in. So after much badgering I have decided to invite 2 couples we know rather well over for dinner on Sat. night, one has RSVP'd yes and haven't heard from the other yet, so there will be 4 or 6 of us. Help what do I do? Part of my insecurity is I am not a good cook, don't enjoy it and also don't feel as I have nice entertaining stuff. Plus DH and I don't drink coffee or tea, so I don't even know how to make it! LOL One thing that I know I can do pretty well is prime rib so am thinking of having that, unless it's so outrageously expensive. DD suggested garlic mashed potatoes? I found a crockpot recipe for them thinking that would be good as I don't have to mash or get them ready right when guests arrive or the meat comes out of the oven etc. I can just have them done in the crockpot. Thought of putting some asparagus in a glass dish and drizzling with olive oil and some sortta spices??? help,,,,any ideas??? Do I have dinner ready right when they get here? Wait a bit? Do I ask them to bring stuff? The one that has rsvpd offered to bring something not sure if I should tell her to or not, maybe dessert or a salad? Oh why did I agree to this?????? I am going to be a nervous wreck all week. I have a beautiful home and is all decorated for Christmas so thought it would be a good time to do it. The one that I haven't heard back from yet is rather la-di-da and though she's a good friend, she makes me the most nervous. She's not a judgemental person yet I feel like that is what she'll be doing, I guess I just don't feel 'good enough' and that has been an issue all my life. I never feel good enough, etc. I think that's why DH is pushing so much, I 've dealt with so many of my buried issues in my weight loss but still struggle with this one. I know there's some awesome cooks and entertainers on this thread so give me your hostess 101 tips.

[Charlene K 1]

Lori, I think you should cook what you have confidence in cooking. If it is a new recipe......practice it. I would let them bring a dish. People like to bring what they make best.....that's how I am. You will do fine and have good time. Since this was your DD's and DH's idea.....get them to pitch in with ideas. I am not too good at sit down dinners. I have always had so many people we do buffet style. We even do buffet when there are only six.

[Apples2 19]

Great...BREATH!!! You can do this. I would have everything made ahead of time and in the oven. Let me think a bit to see if I can come up with something. Do NOT ruin your week worrying about a couple of ppl coming over to your house. YOU CAN DO THIS. Don't worry about thinking that someone else is judging your way of doing things. You choose the way you want to entertain and go with it. If you have any kind of dishes, you can entertain. Heck, put out your everyday stuff. That would make anyone feel at ease.

And....plan it so you can visit at least a half hour b/4 serving and, yes, let them bring something.

Life I said to Cheri last night....an at ease host puts guests at ease. And, maybe that friend of yours is not what you think....maybe she just comes off that way. Maybe she would just like to not be doing the entertaining and enjoy someone else doing it. I am always relieved when I go to someone else's house for dinner and they make it simple...not fussy cuz I never want to ever have to out-do them.

I'll do some thinking and get back to you.

Cut photos, Phyll.....hope you girls (Zoey included) and DH are having a nice afternoon together.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Watching Celtic Woman Christmas. Voices are so ethereal. Attended Bedside Baptist myself today (Church of the Inner Spring). Very cold and blowing snow. Undoubtedly ice under the snow because we had rain yesterday. Just recouping from my party. Went very well. Everybody seemed to have a good time. Just sitting in my chair reading, watching TV and now on computer. Don't feel like doing anything. Bakc to reality tomorrow.

My parents are also struggling. My father is going down hill physically and mentally. My mother wants to be part of everything and is unwilling to admit her physical limits. Both are grieving the slow loss of their independance. My father fell down the front steps at Halloween and broke his nose and cracked ribs. He insists on driving. My brother in MI wants them to move into independant then assisted and then nursing care type facility by him but my mother doesn't like Grand Rapids. They don't know people there and Chicago has always been the center of family activity for their kids and grandkids. My baby sister whose family they spend the most time with (she still has elementary and high school aged children) is here and I live close as do all my kids. My brother Johnnie comes out from CA at least once a year and my TN sister comes here once a year. Various grown grandchildren from out of state also stop in. My mom is fearful no one would come to MI and she's right. We'd have to stay in hotels or go up and back in a day. Just not centrally located. My brother has had cancer more than once and although he is currently doing well if he dies my mom would be stuck there (all assets are given to this community, a common arrangement). She'd also be stuck there if my dad died and his condition is the reason she'd have to give up her home and move there. Very difficult decision for her to make. She hates making decisions and avoids it, but this isn't going to go away.

I've talked to her about Ken and I selling our house and moving in with them but she dislikes that just as much. She really doesn't want to share her space. She and my dad sleep in separate bedrooms because of his restlessness and snoring and she gets up and moves to the living room lounge chair halfway through the night because of her back. Their small back bedroom is a little den for them. The space in the basement that could easily be converted to a bedroom is where my dad watches sports. Having him in the basement a lot gives her space away from him upstairs which she really needs.

Also, the thought of going through all their things and getting rid of almost everything in order to move is unimaginable for her. They've been in that house since I was 13yrs old--that's @45 yrs.

I think she'd love it if my dad went to live with or by my brother and she could stay in her house. Unfortunately, their basement steps are narrow and steep. The steps are not long enough. You can always feel the front of your foot sticking out over the edge. Not the best for aging people. And their laundry is in the basement.

My youngest sister was telling me how my dad started crying at her house. She and her kids were gathered around the piano playing and singing Christmas carols and he choked up. He said how this was what its all about and how he wanted all his family to know the Lord and how he missed his kids. I feel so bad for him.

Most of their friends are dead, or very limited in what they can do. Or they've moved away to live near their kids. This highly mobile society has made it very difficult for children to be there for their aging parents. My siblings are scattered all over the United States. We all work. I live the closest but work 10 hour days.

There are no good solutions. There was a time when it was taken for granted that parents would be taken in by their children. The "grossefamilia" was very much accepted. Multi-generations have always lived with each other except in modern American culture. And I should say that that's mostly white modern American culture. Now parents cherish their independance, children don't want, and often can't, because of their working lifestyle, take them in, and we all get squeezed into these guilt inducing dilemmas.

I don't know the answers. Nobody wants to hurt their parents feelings or force them into solutions they don't want. It often takes a serious incident to bring things to a head, and break through denial. We all hope and pray that our parents don't kill someone or each other while driving old, or lay somewhere injured and unable to get help. Fortunately, my parents, who have few expenses and live off their social security and a bit of pension, do have at least one child who can help support them financially or they wouldn't even be able to get into the facility by my brother's. But, maybe there are some intermediate steps. If I weren't working, I could help them and also help my own children more. But I need to bring in an income. I'm too far away from retirement and would not be content to live off social security. Don't know how people make it on just social security. I think they're all living in Florida in tiny apartments or trailers.

Anyway, enough pontificating. Gotta get back on the high Protein train again.

Cheri

[Apples2 19]

First of all, Lori...as Arlene stated...serve buffet style. You can have the silver, centerpiece and drinking glasses on table but have dishes on buffet table. Just so much easier...takes the pressure off of serving.

I asked DH what his favorite meal is that I cook when we have company. recipes to follow:

Sauteed Asparagus

2 Tbls butter

1 tsp chicken bouillon granules

1/8 tsp celery salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

1 and 1/2 lb fresh asparagus

1 tsp soy sauce

In large skillet, melt butter. Add bouillon, celery salt and pepper and soy sauce, mix well. Add asparagus and toss to coat. Cover and cook over medium heat for 1 minute. Carefully flip over once while cooking. Pour in covered glass baking dish. 30 minutes b/4 serving dinner, place in 350 degree over.

Never, Ever Fail Beef Roast...

I would buy a good cut of roast beef (at least 2 roasts at 4lbs each...limit the fat or have store cut it off for you)....you can always use leftovers.

8 lbs chuck roast

2 (1.9 oz) pkt. onion Soup mix

2 can cream of celery soup (low sodium)

1 can real Coke

Brown roasts. Place in covered roaster. Sprinkle soup mix over, then celery soup. Drizzle with Coke. Bake for 3.5 hours at 350

[Apples2 19]

Gosh, Cheri...I just had a good bawl while reading your post. It's so tough with all the kids and parents wanting independence,etc. We are going through this with FIL...not quite to the point of needing to do something but having to be prepared. It's tough. I feel for your family and Sandi's family and anyone having to make a rash decision on what to do.

[Great2BThin 5]

Thanks for the recipes, Apples. I will do the asparagus for sure and will do the roast if I don't find a good prime rib. This will help a lot. I will have to use everyday dishes as that's all I really have except for possibly my mom's set of the blue and white Currier and Ives dishes everyone had in her day. We are really boring when it comes to beverages, DH & I have diet coke or Water. We don't drink much alcohol, or tea or coffee just because we don't like it not because we have any issue with it. What should i have to drink??? Is instant coffee a bad thing? I do have a really old coffee maker my kids complain about when they visit (tends to get a lot of grounds in the coffee somehow). Wine? what kind??

[NYSparklegirl 1]

Thank you all you sisters and mommas. It was an awesome experience and I finished in my own record time 45 min. I am amazed at how far I have come. So is hubby. He told me he used to have to walk slow when walking next to me so I could keep up. Now he struggles to keep up with me. My brother fished in 19 minutes! My dad showed up with his girlfriend and another friend to cheer me on. I had quite a cheering squad as I crossed. I posted a video to you tube, You can click on the link in my signature if you wanna see me cross the finish line. I am walking on cloud 9 right now. There were 3000 runners there. I never saw my doc but that doesn't mean he wasn't there. I will ask him about it on my next visit.

Thats so cool! Wow>...THATS amazing....must have been a great feeling. Hold that with you always!! Youve worked so hard you deserve it!!

Apples....20 inches?? I hope you are toasty warm and stay inside!! And I complain about NY! Shame on me!

Julie....wish there was some magic pill but there is none...that I can offer.....meditation?? Not magic but..hypnotising?

Hugs and kisses.....to you!

well...had a girls weekend out. Dassi had a fabulous time at the grandparents and.. I had a great weekend in the city with my friend Renee.....Friday we went to dinner in China Town...and Sat......we went for Breakfast, then we went shopping to this great coat and dress warehouse...as it was def. time to get a new coat for winter....it wasnt getting any warmer out and i still hadnt gotten a new colat for my new size!! Dont know what I was waiting for but....was holding off till....I guess the right time. In any case.....just the right time to as....it just so happens that as we got there they got a new shipment in of Dana Buchman coats and bombers....the ones shown on the runway for winter!!!

OMG....they were fabulous. Fur lined....and down filled...for about 80-150 bucks each!!!

Now the story goes with this place....which is totally off the beaten path...you need a car and guts to park anywhere on the streets....and the coats and shoes....kind of just maybe fell off the truck somehow....is what people figure...cause there aint no way these 800-1000 dolllar coats are being sold for 100 a piece or so.....just like that when they are in the dept stores for the later prices. So....I snagged two...one casual and the one with fur lined the whole way through with the collar and cuffs as well.....and a down parker..thigh lenght so I can wear with skirts or pants.....got home checked them out online and woo hoo.....1200 bucks for the ur lined....6oo something for the other....

IM LIKE WHAT?????

Found out about this place from my friends friends friends friends...etc etc.....but it was always hit or miss....found some nine west boots there once...but nothing major but this week....pay dirt for us....the woman behind the counter....was like...if you like it take it cause tomorrow theyd be gone, gone, gone. Wasnt thinking tiwice....so im a happy camper. Love my new shabbos coat that I bought um on um well....anyways.....ill probably burn in hell for that....but not thinking about the guilt now....now im happy tomorrow ill feel all guilty.

Last night...we went to this Birthday Bash...of a friend of mine that I met last year. She is also a single parent in my neighborhood..wasnt thinking of going but figured if Dassi isnt around and im hanging anyway in the city...why not? SO, Renee and I went to this party...it was okay but, we didnt stay long...it was the same ole same ole...people that we both new from like 20 yrs ago who either are now divorced......or never married..and the woman were just so....Jappy and well...not so nice so we left early and went to eat again in the east villiiage....that was fun! Thai food..where of course I got stuck after two bites and that was the end of that meal. .lol

This morning went to work as I didnt go for two days last week....and well...needed to make some money up from the after work kids..that are contracted....so saw two kids and now only need to make up two sessions back this week somtime....not sure if that will happen but better then no sessions....for a week thats alot of extra money that isnt really extra.

This afternoon.....was amazing...Dassi had her first karate tournament and came first place in kattas and second place in sparring.. We were all so proud of her!! My parents came and two friends of hers came to watch and as it turned out my brother, sister in law and niece and nephew came to watch their friends kids not knowing that Dassi was going to be in the tournament as well so they told her they heard that she was going to be in it and decided to suprised her with coming.....that was nice of them....wonder though if they would have come had their friends kids werent there.....would they have come to see her if id have invited them??? hmmm. Highely dought that but...hey one can always be suprised I suppose!!! But who cares....she felt very happy that everyone came to support her and so....im very happy for her as well.....went all out to eat afterwards....no problems with this side of family they all eat kosher!! lol

So....im sure you are all wondering about whats going on with Jeff....and LV...well, in the romance dept. that is never ever going to happen decided after a month of ridiculous....same ole same ole really same crap that nothing had changed whatsoever....LV was a honeymoon....as I suspected and that week was great but...nothing great since then once again except empty promises and listening all about "Jeff" to the point that when I was sick this week....he didnt even once ask how I was.....feeling....even after tellling him numerous of times...that I didnt go to work....went to doctors....felt sick, came home from work....but.....he wasnt listening to me...just wanted to tell me about whats with him and the projects hes working on and on and on and tooting his horn about all the wonderful things hes doing for all the autistic children in the world just by being him,....am I being a little much??? noooo, not really. not exagerating.....at all. So...its been about hmmm a month allready where I decided nope....this is not going to happen again...and kind of turned off and began to tune out....and this past week....clincher....and so....just had it out with him and told him...this isnt going to happen...but if you want me to work with you on several projects and hire me, send me a contract and il be glad to work with you as you have requested. If not interested then thats fine.....good luck and dont contact me again. Not interested in a personal relationship.....self ritous pompous @$$. no need to go further but...wasnt even aware that I was even a bit pertubed at the conversations we had or hadnt been having over the last two months since LV.

I told you all...wasnt going to let myself get taken in again.....but did.....and now getting myself the heck out but quick!

Not even want to work with him....but it could be really good for me financially and a great experience for both myself and Dassi if this thing does come to fruition. If it does it will be on my terms and only then....but if it doesnt....se la vi......no harm done.

Okay....must run downstairs...as if you recall the reason for going away this weeked was because they were doing my bathroom over....and so they did...but um the new toilet and handles in the shower not yet!!! Must use an empty apt bath and shower till tomorrow night...I hope afterwhich ill be able to clean up this dusty place and use my own toilet!!!

(not happy) but, at least there is an empty apt to use for now!

Have a great week all....enjpy all the starting of Christmas celebrations and cooking,shoppings and goings on...so loving hearing about all of the goings on .....keep them coming they are so wonderful...with good and happy spirits!!!

Jodi

[sndycnrd 1]

Cheri, you have such a way with words and accurately described what we are both going through. Our situations are very similar. I just don’t have the same skill with words that you have. It is a very difficult situation to balance everyone’s wants and needs. Like you, I still need to work. Family and work structures have changed since we were kids and because of that women are no longer house wives able to take care of family when needed. My mother in law lived in assisted living before she passed and loved it. But she was a very social person and thoroughly enjoyed all of the company and activities assisted living had to offer. My Dad, on the other hand has never been a very social person. He keeps to himself and his family. He won’t even discuss assisted living. I am sure we will get through all of this with time and patience. We will work it out somehow.

We did have a very nice evening going out with our daughter and meeting her boyfriend. He is a very nice man and hope things work out for them. So cute to see them together. She just glowed around him.

Jessica, I understand your excitement completely. I also just started running this year and still cannot believe I actually can do it. It amazes me how physically strong I have become. I still can’t believe I can run a 5K. Our times are close, my best was 44 minutes. I am sure we will both improve. Heck, what am I saying! Girl, we can run 3.1 miles! Who cares how long it takes; we can do it!!!!

Apples, remote starts are the best, especially when you live in a cold climate like we do. I never use mine in the summer, but it sure gets a workout in the winter. I hope things sort themselves out with your father in law. I don't look forward to any of this but we have to face things and move forward.

Charlene, I understand the Christmas thing. Our families are so fortunate and thus rather spoiled. We have cut back quite a bit on buying for family and instead buy for kids who don’t have anything. We have found this is what “makes” Christmas for us. I wrapped all of the gifts today any DH will deliver them tomorrow to the school that will distribute them. So sad. One 3^rd grade boy asked for jeans and a v neck shirt. I just can’t imagine a 9 year old asking for clothes. So glad we could help.

Thanks again for letting me put my problems out there and for all of the feedback. It helps to sort things out and to put it in perspective when you can talk about it with others.

[llkb4me 1]

Hi All,

Holed up in the house as we are getting the snow. Not as much as Apples, but cold and windy.

Julie, prayers, hugs and juju your way.

Jessica, WTG girl that is awesome.

Great, you can do this dinner, it will turn out. Don't stress just think about it as if it was your kids and spouse/gf. It 's the same # of people.

Janet and Phyl, bet you are having a great time.

Joyce, glad to see you post, you've been scarce.

Jodi, Seems like they never change and we just keep hoping they will. bye bye to the trouble. Good job to Dassi.. Seen the pics on FB.

Melissa, glad you like your new job, that's half the battle.

Can't remember anything else, big Hi to Eva, Arlene, Laura,Meredith, Chris.

LauraK

[llkb4me 1]

Oops, forgot, Kelly and Sandy big hugs for your Father troubles.

[Apples2 19]

OMG, Jodi....they are going to track the scent on those coats right back to your place! LOL. Hey, they might be hot but you are kind of innocent, right?????

Sounds like a great weekend with your friend....even if a part of it was with snobbish ppl. Sounds like the second go-around with deciding what you will allow with your LV friend Jeff. Stick to your guns and look out for you.

BTW...we didn't get the 20 inches. Didn't post that. Mpls got 20 inches. We just had an average snowfall but lots of wind that made visability awful and kept us snowbound. The cold was minus 5 but windchill minus 24 this morning. Felt warm after church when it got up to 2 degrees.