I'm here to help...

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

I'm just really confused at this point. Case in point -- dinner last night -- could only eat about 2 oz. of tilapia and about 3 bites of my cooked zucchini -- had no Snacks yesterday - total of 700 calories.

Lori, sorry about DD -- that's gotta be very hard on her and we all know when our kids are hurt we hurt too. Hope it gets better. But the minister must feel very strongly about it to make that statement.

Jessica, hope your nephew is doing okay -- hope you will get to spend some time with him -- if for no other reason to give him a break from your SIL - is she your DH's sister? Just curious.

Cheri, hope your tweak goes okay. I think I'll join you in maintenance since I can't seem to really lose any more no matter how good I am -- I'll just call it maintenance and then if I lose okay and if not okay too. Like you mentioned before, at our age we look darn good at where we are now -- size 12 is pretty darn good for almost 60!

Eva, good going on the eating and the pilates -- wow. You keep it up girl.

Laura, hope your dad is doing okay now that the storms are over -- are they able to get out and about now?

Jodi, hope you get your surgery date soon -- sounds like you're getting close to getting all the hoops jumped through.

Julie, hope all is well with you and Mimi today -- how is she feeling?

Well, still at work, so this is short will try to write more later. Love, kisses and hugs to you all. Linda

Linda,

I've been thinking about our bodies and their difficulties (Apples excepted) with losing weight after a certain point. I do think that as we get older we have to be content with a higher weight unless we want to drive ourselves nuts and end up at a weight that may actually be anorexic for our height and build and age. We can also become addicted to exercise and overstress our aging joints.

This is still part of the disease. Our goal should be balance. We may not look as thin as we'd like, but our body images are so distorted by society that we can't trust our own judgement. But be comforted by this. The exercise we do makes us look at least 5-10 lbs thinner than those who don't exercise but are our height and build and age. So, at 167 lbs, I look closer to 160. If they cut all the loose skin and attached tissue off of us that would be another 5-10 lbs. So I actually look (as long as I'm not naked and I disguise the loose skin) like I'm 150-155 lbs. which is quite slim for 5' 9". So our goals may actually be very unrealistic.

Size 12 and larges are actually a little loose on me and that's a very slim size for 5'9". I am broad shouldered with upper body development enhanced by years of swimming. I'm also the Dutch peasant type of build with denser bones and thick, solid, not wiry muscles, and broad butt (I don't have the featherweight bones and skinny, highly defined muscles of a runner which my two sisters and one brother have). I am more the statuesque type that, when younger at least, looked like I could kick the shi!! out of you. It gives me command presence as a teacher. When I fold my arms across my chest or put my hands on my hips, broaden my stance, and raise my eyebrows and give kids "the look", I get compliance. Not something I use on a regular basis, but in an emergency situation it can come in handy.

So I don't believe I'm "settling" at all. I can walk at a 4 mile per hour pace on days I choose to do that, without getting winded. I can bounce up and down 47 steps at school without getting winded. When I sing I can hold a note as long as the choir director and give him tremendous volume when needed. I can pick up, hug, and "airplane" my younger grandkids. And I can dance! I don't need to get in better shape than that.

And if the men and women at church's and school's faces and 2nd and third looks and comments are any indication (as well as the looks I get in stores and and other public places), I'm looking terrific. The trick for me is to not let it get to my head and set me on that road to trying to look even better and weigh even less that inevitably backfires for me, because where will I stop? When will I ever be good enough? That kind of thinking can drive me back into the food. I have sisters who are taller than me and have that featherweight build and I absolutely cannot get into comparing myself to them. I have my own type of body and my own type of beauty and I am content.

I think its very possible, Linda, that your body is trying to tell you something. You may have put it in starvation mode by eating so little and exercising so much and it's conserving every lb you have left as self-protection.

Let go just a little, and you may be surprised. You will not be as obsessed with weight and food and exercise (which is still a manifestation of our disease) but a few more lbs may drop away once your body thinks you're feeding it enough to survive.

All of you, whatever stage you're at, I'm so proud of you all. I really can't add much to what Linda has said to you all. We're all getting healthy, we're all dealing with family and personal issues with honesty and working at not letting it drive us into the food. Having a balanced life takes work but its part of getting healthy with the food.

Hi guys~

Volunteered at Nelson's school today- reading with the kids. I absolutely love doing that. Now am making some Tomato beef Soup. (loaded with fresh veggies) We have TKD after school at 430 and we have been getting in the habit of eating out every Tuesday. Although I really try being "good", I have realized that there are just way too many calories. Trying to make some hearty soups/one pot wonders to eat when I don't have time or feel like cooking.

I was just about to get a fill and yesterday was tight ALL DAY! Pbed on cold milk before dinner! That was the most pleasant of all my PBs though. (if one has to PB). Now today I had half a Starbucks Protein smoothie (vivanno) and have been full all day.

Apples~ so glad you made it to FL! I hope the weather clears up for you.

Great~ hugs hugs hugs on the DD issues. OMG, I can only imagine how upset you are. I hope she finds peace with whatever decision she makes. My mom's family HATED my Dad when they dated for 5 years. Everyone and their uncle warned her not to marry him. Said he was too much of workaholic, not religious (not Catholic), and came from a different culture. They celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in Dec/ 55 years together. She has to listen to her heart.

NY, Janet, Eva, Julie, Arlene and everyone else~ hi and hugs. I will write more later.

peasout.. Laura

Linda, Yes it is my DH sister.

School went well today. I had lab and got to prepare a slide and it came out perfect. The teacher had everyone looking in my microscope. Gosh, I am such a nerd. It feels kinda cool though to know I can do something that I thought only super smart people could do. Gotta go prepare for my heart dissection tomorrow.

Again, I just want to say ditto to all comments.

I did get my fill today. He said my band was wide open and filled it quite a bit. Said if it was too full to come back and to do liquids for 3 days. I'm having no trouble with the liquids. We'll see in three days, but my band has such a tendancy to open up at night that I'll be happy to be restricted at night and not just during the day. Having a floroscope and drinking the barium really takes the guesswork out of getting a fill.

Edited February 3, 2010 by ifyourstomachoffendsyou

[IndioGirl55 32]

Linda - 700 cal is not enough and your body could be holding on to the weight and closer your get to goal the slower it goes and I am telling you if I have worked out 3 weeks straight and then slack on week 4 the scales move - it could be just a bad weigh in day - don't let it frustrate you - I know that's hard - cuz hell I freak out over 2 lbs too - but you know you are doing the right stuff - just keep it up.

And as for what pple at work say - tell them I said go jump in a lake - I know I have friends who tell me I look just fine - you can't tell you gained 5 lbs - don't worry have a cookie - or like yesterday a girl who weighs 160-170 said oh I need lapband to lose the weight - I said gf my lapband didn't lose the weight I did - well it keeps you from being hungry she said - I said hell no - I still want all those Cookies and candies that were here at xmas - the diff is I know I can't eat those foods and lose weight - I told her I did 75% of the work and the band did the other 25% - She sorta pissed me off - Pple don't understand I get hungry - I want to eat - but I don't - me not the band.. I am the one who goes to the gym - well you all know the story - pple think wls is the quick fix and we KNOW IT'S NOT...

You will get there I know you will - it's just that you want it so bad and it's not coming fast enough- you have done wonderful with having surgery and all - you know stress causes us to hold on the the weight too - so chill - just keep eating healthy and vary the calories - what's your highest cal day - I varied mine between 800 - 1200.. Also - I only exercise 3-4 days a week and during my weight loss 4-5

Great - Ya this fill is good - maybe too good ;0) I have to eat very slow - tiny bite to get all my food in.. BF was some pt chips and lunch was some butternut squash - then pt drink then this afternoon pt bar - 45 grms pt so far and 435 calories - dinner will be fish & veggies.. And really haven't had room for any snacks.. My doc say to get your pt in early in the day so that you can have more veggies at night ;0) but I havent' done it today - but a GNC opened by my house stopped after work - got a banana cream muscle milk 1 oz can 150 cal - I am going to throw it in the blender with some ice and make a shake for my dessert tonite - if I had a real banana I would throw it in too.. Will let you know what it taste like..

Jessica - Weekend are hard - I really do try to get out of the house or if I can't then I get into major cleaning modes - keeping busy is key.. Boredom is a big big food trigger for me..

Laura - I found your #'s I had written them down - put them in my phone.. Ya - it's funny you think you need a fill then you pb on something simple that you shouldn't pb on -

Cheri - Gotta say you sure aren't short on self esteem - lol - and I don't think any of us really need to worry about being anorexic - we all love too eat too much

Do agree that we have to be happy with ourselves and weight on each person looks diff depending on how they are built and carry their weight - most pple think I weigh less than I do - they guess 120 - hell when I did weight 120 I couldn't fit a 5 but now a 4 - so I think sizing has gone up so that pple feel better about themselves and have read that too..

My original goal was 170 and I'm 6 inches shorter than you - then 160 and was afraid to even say 150 - but most importantly I wanted a normal bmi - I got there and I am going to stay there. I am not trying to go to the low end for my height - I am on the high end - it's all about being healthy and feelling better..

Eva - Well at least there are 2 woosie ;0) who won't be in capri's ;0)... So we won't feel out of place - we have each other - WTG on food and exercise...

Jodi - I love that we are your muses - and some day in the near future you will be someone muse :0)

Apples - You will get the weight back on - enjoy your vacation and don't worry that you have to eat more - I wish I was in your shoe ;0) .. It's just as hard for you to keep the weight on as it is for us to keep it off - it's hard either way - we are here for you just the same..

ok gang - that's all I remember ;0)

[Apples2 19]

OK, Linda, was going to say this earlier...but not sure if ppl would take it seriously...you need to eat more to burn more. You really, really need to eat 1200 cals at the stage you are at and exercising like you are. Just try it out for one week. It will kick you off your plateau. That's all I have to say about that. Just eat more (healthty stuff) and see what happens.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Janet--its all that cognitive therapy and self-talk that gives me the courage to say that I'm beautiful the way I am. If you saw my sisters, especially my 6' tall model-beautiful baby sister, you'd understand my need to do that.

I know that my teeth are a little crooked, my nose is too big, I'm a little knock-kneed, and my stomach still sticks out a little. We won't talk about me naked. Or my varicose veins. But I choose to focus on my health and vitality and my smile and to walk with confidence and to enjoy smiling at people and the fact that people smile when they see me.

Being happy with my physical appearance is one of the best weapons I have in the maintenance phase. I know how dissatisfaction with it has sent me back into the food, like feeling that no matter how much weight I lose or how great a shape I get in I'll still have a double chin and a stretch-marked flabby belly and varicose veins. So I focus on the overall impression I give and on those things that are assets. Or I take what once seemed like a drawback, like my solid, thicker upper arms and show them for what they are, strong capable arms that were part of my Dutch heritage and my love of swimming. Part of my body style.

There are plenty of things over which my self-esteem wavers. One of my hardest battles has been to see my ADHD as an asset and not a drawback. To accept that that's the way I was made and to use it instead of fight it. To not feel shame over needing other people to keep me organized and take care of details for me. To know that to be successful in my weight loss and maintenance I have to use my ADHD and not try to be good at stuff I'm not good at. That means daily rejecting shame and rewriting old scripts to actually be proud of the gifts I have that are a result of having ADHD and being a very right-brained person.

One thing about being in Alanon for 17 years and in OA for a few as well, I really worked on knowing my strengths and weaknesses.

Being a Christian, I know very well that I sin and fall short of God's glory every day. I know that every day is a struggle with food and somedays the food wins. But my confidence is in the Lord and knowing I am utterly loved despite all my shortcomings. In fact, I think he smiles when I strut my stuff.

Cheri

[ocotillo 0]

Linda, I would put tomatoes in my beef Soup, but my DH doesn't like them either. I made a pot roast yesterday and I'm going to make beef/barley soup tomorrow with the left overs..no tomatoes. I think I agree with the people that you might want to try and eat more. It does sound counter intuitive, but I really think your metabolism is sort of shutting down and holding on to every calorie it gets. It can't hurt to try more calories...yes, I know...you might gain weight, but I don't think so. I'm not saying eat 2000 calories, just bump it up a little.

Laura, DH and I have been trying to eat out on Tuesdays too. Not every Tuesday (as in a date night) but we are making the effort to try some place different. And yes, it's hard not to eat too many calories when eating out. I've really been trying to just order an appetizer (depending on the appetizer) and salad or soup. If I order a meal...I've been taking it home. A lot of the time, I just eat off of DH's plate. He needs to lose a couple of pounds too...so I don't feel so bad about that. I just don't want to give up eating out....there has to be some happy medium where we can do so in moderation.

Arlene, I'm so sorry the weather makes you so miserable, but I'm not ready for summer yet either. It comes too quickly here and stays too long. It's rather nice to wear long sleeves for a couple of months. And no Apples and Julie, I don't want to live in your neck of the woods during the winter...too much cold and ice and snow.

So Jodi...you're enjoying that multi button I see. Good for you. Hope all your tests go well....I'm sure they will. It's what you are making all this effort for.

Lori...I'm really sorry for DD and her DF. It's got to be so hard on both of them. And for you too. I really hope they find the right decision for both of them. I called off my wedding a couple of days before we sent out the announcements and then I ran off to Ohio. I was devastated but it was for the best...I wasn't ready to be married and neither was he. I bet your daughter really is ready but if DF isn't, this may help him decide. I'll keep my fingers crossed for all of you. And yes, I am a woosie. Just wait until you see how I react to the humidity too. Oh, that's lots of fun.

Jewel, how pleasant...a heart dissection. I'm so glad you are the one in school and I'm not. You go girl, you are doing great. The longer you go with the band, you are going to find out you are going to have to do the work to lose the weight. It really has taken me 6 months and 4 months of no weight loss to figure it out. I'm still working on how to handle not eating when I really want to. You can read others here are struggling with that too.

Janet...I'm bringing a pair of capris unless the weather channel says freezing temps the whole weekend. You never know...laying around by the pool in the sun...they just might be the ticket.

Julie, how are you? Where are you? Oh, I just got email from her...she is sick and going to bed. Feel better and sleep well.

Apples, enjoy those books.

Okay, it's almost 10:30 and I've got to get some sleep.

Manana ladies

Eva

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang...

Here's my tmi for the day - was SUPER constipated yesterday my fault not drinking enough Water - so took too much stuff to go - was up all night - to day is going to be a long one.. I WILL drink more water !!! I haven't been that constipated in years.

Great - Hugs on the DD/DF issues - That has to be so hard - but at least they are thinking about it before and your DD is thinking w/her head and not just the heart - My Dad use to tell me things usually work out for the best - Hope they do for DD

Eva - lol - I will pack a pair too (capri's) just in case - like you said in the sun it may be warm ;0)

Cheri - I know Beckism is to give yourself credit you do well with that

Charlene - How are things going - staying on plan :0)

Julie - How are you doing - did you get sleep last night - since I didn't I feel your pain - and I won't get to take a nap

Apples - having steel cut oats this a.m. - I think of you everytime I eat them - hopefully they will help with the oppisite problem I have now ;0)

Well gang just a quick ck in before work - My Sis will be here tomorrow - so wish me luck ;0) they are staying with me - it will be good to see her - it's been a year since I have seen her...

cbl - Have a great day !!!

[Charlene K 1]

Janet, staying on plan, but the weather is cramping my exercise plan. I will have to change that up. I still have not lost, but I am not discouraged. Oh, I tried that pancake again this morning. 1/4c quick oats dry,1/4c egg whites, 1Tbl of sf jam. I cooked it in Pam, put a drizzle of sf Syrup, it was dilish! Tasted like french toast. Of course I have a pretty generic pallet, so you gourmet people may not like it. Oh, don't laugh, but yesterday was my first time to eat a spring roll made fresh. It just had lettuce, cucumber, and a shrimp rolled in a wrapper. Loved it. I just need some new ways to eat good food.

Off to babysit. My DD is having an ultrasound this morning. She is only eight weeks along so we won't find out the sex for a few months.

[ocotillo 0]

Janet....good luck with the visit. I can understand your apprehension but maybe she truly does want to mend fences. And you are a great host. Hopefully she loves dogs.

I'm having steel cut oats too....later this morning. I'm eating my egg right now and I'll take my oats to work with me and eat those later when I get hungry. I cannot go 5 hours without eating. I can barely make 4 hours...usually about 3 1/2, so I'm trying to space the food out so I can stay even. Always trying something to make this all work.

Off to work today...have to go visit a customer, joy oh joy.

Later

Eva

[llkb4me 1]

Hi Everyone,

Janet get out the wet noodle I need a lash or two. When Apples posted she is drinking cappachinos to gain back her pounds it hit me like a ton of bricks. My new addiction has been drinking caps w/coffee. Duh & I wondered why I have not been losing even though I have been exercising like crazy. So I finally checked out the calaries, they are history. Replaced my diet pop with coffee, I have never drank that, I hated the smell. Not a smart trade for me.

I've started reading my Beck book and like it so far. Makes you set back and ponder a few things.

Well better get back to work. Thanks for letting me get my stupidity of my chest. Take care & have a great day.

Laura K

[FemmeOne 0]

I think I need some lashes with the wet noodle too. I feel SO dumb.

Went to my support group meeting on Monday and weighed myself on my doctor's scale. Looks like I've gained back almost 4 lbs. WHAT?! So instead of getting inspired and paying more attention to what I"m eating, I went home in a funk and had a mini-binge...which continued last night too. I don't think it's going to add a bunch of weight, but I feel so out of control!

The really dumb thing is, I don't know whether that 4 lbs is really a weight gain; it could be just that my home scale is off. (And I know my scale always weighs less than the doctor's.) So it could just be that I haven't lost any since my last fill a few weeks ago. Jeesh.

The hard part for me now is getting back on the bandwagon. I'm ok during the day, when I have a structured schedule, but at home at night, I just want to keep eating. I know my portion sizes have crept up (need to start measuring). I did call to get another fill in about a week; I'm still refilling from an unfill.

Janet, all this just makes me realize what you've always said about yourself...I'm a food addict and really have to be vigilant about it. One cookie will start off a binge. Tonight when I get home, I'm packing up all the trigger foods and getting them out of there.

Thanks for letting me vent...

[Great2BThin 5]

Good morning. I had such a great nights sleep last night, I feel great this morning. It felt so good. My knee didn't hurt much and my DD is seeming better as well. I think her and DF are meeting tonight to discuss how they are going to proceed. It's not that she's ready to get married and he's not, he is very much so as well. However, the big concern the pastor has is whether or not DF is changing too much too fast for DD or if these changes are genuine. he is a huge car (mostly corvette addict) and has incredible debt to keep a corvette, he had said he was going to sell all that so DD wouldn't have to work to pay off his debt and that they'd have money to start a family. Then suddenly he said he couldn't do it and wouldn't sell it. When DD contemplated calling the whole thing off as that was a dealbreaker for her he then sold it all. Pastor is concerned that he did it to please her then they get married and he resents her. He said there isn't enough time between now and the wedding to be sure. We aren't talking just a small debt this is huge debt we are talking about. And if he keeps the cars and debt then will DD grow to resent him. She thinks he's sincere as he's also selling stereo equipment, car parts everything, he is saying how selfish it was of him. So their decision is do they postpone the wedding (invitations are addressed and ready to go) or do they find someone else to marry them and go on with the date.

Selfesteem/confidence - never had much, it's getting better. I was raised that if I thought I looked good or something I was being conceited. I am getting to the point where now I can look in the mirror and say at least it's not bad or even good. Never could I say I am beautiful or anything like that. But I am learning to appreciate my body, what it's done for me and how much better it's looking these days even with the big legs and some droopy skin. I guess what I am saying is I am not hating myself anymore.

Constipation - sorry Janet you had a rough night. I have to watch it so carefully or it happens so easy since the band and really really easy while on the vicodin since my knees. It's the main reason I am hardly taking the vicodin anymore. About a week ago it was so bad I almost went to the ER, I was like impacted or something. sorry TMI. Until I am totally off the vicodin I am taking Miralax everyday and colace stool softners. I am worried about our trip to Isreal and think I will even bring that stuff along, don't want to have it happen while travelling, but don't want to over compensate and give myself the opposite problem either.

Eating out - Eva, I eat out a lot. It's something I love to do and since day one I have learnt how to do it with the band. I have my go to's at most restaurants I go to and bring a lot home. DH always has my leftovers for either Breakfast or lunch the next day. He used to eat my leftovers right there in the restaurant until he realized my losing weight was making him gain weight. LOL

Florida - yep I'm bring capris. Anyone bringing bathing suits? was wondering if there was going to be pool or hot tub time?? Also, do I need anything dressy?

Well better go finish getting dressed for the day. It's going to be a lazy day I think, unless I decide to go volunteer at the hospital, I was going to start back up today but am contemplating waiting a week and giving the knee another week.

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Good morning guys~

Just caught up on the posts- you guys have gotten busier now that Apples is posting again!

Janet~ Hope everything came out alright. giggle. I hate being constipated! (Silly, raise your hand if you LOVE being constipated?!) I find when I am eating one Protein replacement a day, it keeps me regular. Another thing that works great (besides obvious- miralax or other lax) is sugarfree chocolate. If I have two- the xylitol/sugar alchohols- go right through me!

Apples~ now that you have stopped traveling (although you are still moving!) is the weight coming back on? Add a couple snickers bars, that's what my friend who had trouble gaining used to do. 2 a day keeps the dr away!

Cheri~ Great posts. Don't have two thoughts to add. : )

Great~ So glad you slept great! Aren't nights like that so refreshing?! Still thinking about you and DD. stressful.

Julie~ I forgot to say something. When you were talking about not being able to shop all day, I am with you! I only want to go to the coach store and then come back to the condo or go do something else. I am not buying clothes yet either until I get closer to goal. So don't worry- I will hang with you. hugs.

Femme~ no wet noodle needed. Seems like you do enough for yourself. I did the same thing a while back, where one day turned into a week of out of control. It's like speeding- if you find yourself going 5 miles over the limit, do you say FU%& it I am already speeding, might as well go 100?! Slow down girl! : ) BTDT.

Eva~ We did eat in last night. Felt better. I just need to do it for this week. Also Nels was eating too unhealthy. He only eats burgers or chicken fingers when out- but at home he will eat corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, melon. NEVER a veggie in a restaurant unless it's Benihana Japanese where they cook in front of you.

Linda~ Agree with the advice of the experts- bump up a little. Yeah, funny how something as little as a Tomato can make someone not like it. DH wasn't thrilled with the Soup alone for dinner. He made lamb chops, rice and peas, hummus and salad. He thought the soup was too bland. He likes when I make chili or brunswick- something with a kick.

FL girls~ have we decided if we want to do dinner? It is always FL casual here, and nothing really dressy. Even Emerils if we go is casual. Think about it. I am getting sooooooooo excited!!!

My Dad is having a crappy week. The weather is better, but he isn't. Last week he got one of those electric wheelchairs (almost called it an electric chair), that you see on tv. Free with medicare. He didn't need it really, but he likes to get his money's worth of medicare. :thumbup: Anyway, he had taken too many meds (ativan and vicodin) and forgot his kidney bag and took off in the chair. He pulled out the tube partially from his back and had to go have emergency procedure to put it back in place. Now he has a kidney infection. He feels crappy physically but I am more worried about his mood emotionally. He's depressed. Rightly so I guess, but he is self medicating and not moving around. Mom said he sits or sleeps 80% of the day. I am worried about him. sigh.

I have been busy the last two days planning Nelson's 6th birthday party. It's the last weekend in Feb (27th) although the day isn't until March 1. We are having a NASCAR Racing Party. It's BYOB. haha. (bring your own bike or battery operated vehicle) We have a private road near our community marina and the kids have a blast. We did the same party last year- though it was John Deere & he got a battery op gator. I literally found the invite I made last year on the computer and changed the 5 to a 6! All the parents had fun and said it was the best party all year. I make sure and have a tent for parents with tables and chairs, and plenty of beer and wine. I think the parents should have an equally fun time! Last year he had a bounce house- but this year he will only have had his cast off a week and I decided not to this year. This will also be the first year my parents have not been at his party. : (

I have the worst acid stomach today. Took my prilosec and some mylanta. I just feel nauseous. ughhh.

ok guys. I will CBL, have a meeting with teachers @ 3.

peasout... Laura

Edited February 3, 2010 by peascorps

[Apples2 19]

Hey from sunny FL! Finally we have sun. Feels so good.

Just hanging around the cabin. DH and friends are out on a boat with a bunch of other friends. I declined due to my verdigo. Just didn't want to give it the opportunity to return. Did laundry (after almost a week on the road, decided it was time) and now just catching up here. I think I actually brought enough clothes for both of us to last a month. DH just rolls his eyes.

Cheri...not sure where I stand on my own self-esteem issues. I know I do better than b/4 and I now find myself accepting compliments instead of boo-hooing them. I try to overlook what I cannot change and accept what I have ended up with. Heck, I figure I can basically cover what I don't want the world to see. I promised myself at the beginning of this journey that I would settle for what I ended up with and am doing a good job of it. Yep, I'm OK with it all and don't want to go under the knife for a few little physical inadequacies.

Janet...sorry about your pooh issues. I had trouble in the beginning until I learned I needed an adequate amount of Fiber each and every day. I munch on Fiber One or Kashi Cereal every day. I have found out which foods tend to bind me up and try to stay away from them. cheese is something I could never eat and blackberries are not my friend, even though I LOVE them. Hope you get things regulated (literally) and get a good night's sleep tonight. Sorry about your "crappy" situation. LOL

Linda...sorry if I sounded harsh in my last post. Must have been the glass of stupid juice (wine) I had. We went and visited a friend for her bday and they talked me into a glass. I think the last glass of wine I had was a year ago when we were here. We had gone to St. Ausustine and stopped at this Irish Pub for lunch...forgot to eat and had 2 glasses of wine. I was so cute that I sang a song with the one man band. (Bob Dylan kind of guy). I had him singing a little Patsy Cline. Anyway, didn't mean to be preachy....just making a suggestion. You will figure out what works for you. You rock!

Laura...so sorry for you dad's issues. And, when you send my invitation for Nel's party...just send it general delivery to the resort.

On the shopping in FL. I also have GPS and not afraid to drive anywhere. We can go in two vehicles.

Eva...hey...sounds like you are really working it. Happy to hear your last fill is somewhat what you needed. Good feeling, isn't it.

We don't eat out much. DH tends to gravitate to everything unhealthy when we do. I do like to go out to eat every once in awhile though and when we do, I can always find something to eat. I am silly in that I like my "own" meals. I eat what I can and then DH finishes it or I take it home. I tend to be a "food snob" and am picky about how someone else prepars my meat. I get very disappointed over paying for Protein that is leathery.

Deb...feeling out of control is the worst feeling we have as bandster IMHO. And, you are most likely correct on the 4lbs. I try to take only the weight from my own scale. I am sometimes 6lbs diff with the doc's scale. Just try to gauge your weight by your own scale. And, yes, those damned Cookies or whatever trigger foods a person goes for usually turn into more than one. Good girl to rid your house of them.

Great...DD will figure it all out. We went through a horrible situation last summer with a dear GF of youngest DS. Long, long story. Bipolar issues with her. We love her but she is no longer in his life. Actually, it is at the point where she can not contact him or us. It was a tough situation and he was at the point of pressing charges. He's a big strappingSS guy and we were proud of him for just never raising a hand or threatening in a few of the situations he put him in. She bloodied his face one night and that was it for him. He took it hard. He loved her and is a gentle giant and w e are proud of how he handled it. Long talks this last visit and he is doing well.

Bring your swim suit. I am sure we will get some time in the sun and pool if the weather lets us.

Hi to all I am forgetting. Better go make some lunch. I am not sweating the lost pounds. The way I am eating, I will get them back. LauraK, when I first read your post about the cappucinos, I thought, Oh crap, I made her drink them. Good going on recognizing the cals in them..

Later.

[JeweI 2]

Good afternoon,

I had a lab exam this morning and I did really well. Don't have the exact score yet but I only missed 2-3. Also survived the dissection. It was pretty interesting to see the anatomy of the heart. I know it sounds gross but all the blood and stuff is cleared out of it before we handle it. They mail it to the college in formaldahide. Everyone was taking pics with the hearts so here is mine.

I also lost all the weight I gained. Now on to the next 25 pounds.

I believe my SIL is doing better now that the state came in and said her son was ok. She hasn't called in awhile.

Gotta go the guy is here to mess with our connection.

[Charlene K 1]

Jessica........love your pic!