I'm here to help...

[ocotillo 0]

Cheri...those are the shows I watch too.

Janet, no rain yet....supposed to be tomorrow.

I didn't get all the stuff done I wanted to today..I'm hoping the rain will stay away long enough for me to get a few more field notes...if not, then it will have to wait.

Meredith, you've done so well with your weight loss..send me some of your determination and energy.

Linda, congrats on the release to go back to work. Between your weight loss and the exercise your hip wasn't going to give you any trouble. Wow, it's great your DH helps around the house. My DH helps pay the house keeper. If it was left to him, it wouldn't get done. Funny thing is, he like the house when it's clean, he just doesn't like it enough to keep it clean.

Great....good going with the knee. You'll be able to walk a lot in Florida....do you like how I slip that in there? I think I'm going to be in CO around Labor Day....do you think you'll still be there?

Hello to everyone I missed. Need to sleep so I can get up and use my new pilates machine in the morning. I'll let you know how it is.

Eva

[Great2BThin 5]

Good evening, couldn't get on the internet for most of the afternoon evening. Not sure what was up if it was just down or our modem or what. I was going through withdrawal!

Apples, I am down to once a week therapy for 2 more times the next 2 Mondays and then I am done. I am going to do some of it on my own up at the rec center that laid me off. It will be hard to go up there and see someone else sitting in my chair. Though I know it's not her fault. they transferred someone from another dept that has only been there a couple months to take my place as well as her job. She's not happy either that her workload doubled.

Eva, I have no idea at this point where I will be at Labor Day, will be great if I am here to see you. I hope I know more on our living situation soon.

Florida, I still know nothing about htis new job possibly starting so at this point I am tempted to just say I am coming and if the job works out I will deal with it then.

[Apples2 19]

No, Janet, not gone yet. Next Monday morning early. DH has big plans of leaving here by 4am and trying to get as far out of the snow as we can. His real motive is that he has a farm show the next day somewhere south (can't remember the state even). We have things going on this weekend so cannot leave earlier than Monday morning.

Lori...thorw in the towel and join us in FL. If you do hear about the job, they will understand about the trip and giving you a couple of days off. Heck, it's only 3 weeks from now. Ppl make plans. Don't want you sitting there wishing you would have done it. And, I think I can speak for everyone, we want you there.

Eva...sounds like you are really booked with work and paperwork. Hope you can get caught up soon. Never a good feeling to have stress and things hanging.

Meredith..I figured you'd be scheming and planning your house. I love things like that. If I had to do it all over again, instead of a business degree I would have been a singing chef that does interior decorating. Not sure what University would have been willing to dish out that degree!

Jodi...boy, you sure know how to fit right in. I know it's easy for me to say cuz my surgery is behind me, but try now to worry and take it all as it comes. March 15 will be here b/4 you know it and you will forget all about this stage eventually. Keep us posted. I enjoyed hering about your traditions. You are going to add even more spice to this group.

Off to cook Breakfast. Later.

[Charlene K 1]

Good Morning!

[Apples2 19]

Hey Arlene, how are you doing today? What you been up to? How's the food plan going?

[Charlene K 1]

Hey Arlene, how are you doing today? What you been up to? How's the food plan going?

Well, it is slow going, but it is going. I started back walking.....temp is getting up to 70 today. It is just hard keeping my food down to 1200c a day. I need a slight fill, but the Doctor's office said they would call me back for an appt. and no call back. They just moved into their new clinic and the receptionist sounded stressed out. I am going to a support group meeting there tonight. A friend of mine is having bypass in March and needs the support. It won't hurt me either.

I am really having a hard time keeping my resolution of weaning myself off of relationships that are toxic. You know the quote "Don't make someone a priority in your life if you are only and option in theirs", well, I am trying to make adjustments and live by that. It is tough for me because I am an enabler. At least I have recognized the task at hand. Thank God my DD keeps reminding me. So, one down, and two more to go.

[Charlene K 1]

Apples, this is a comment I read on this quote and it is so true.

"Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs". Quote

Comment I read online:

This is one of my favorite quotes. Take a good look at the people in your life…family, friends, co-workers, significant others, etc. Stop making excuses for poor behavior, don’t accept less than what you deserve, and weed out the ones who only care about their own needs being met. As my friend Patricia says, “A relationship should complement, not complicate.” What a difference it makes when you’re surrounded by only those who bring out the best in you. How sad that I am now all alone…HA!

Apples, don't you think relationships contribute so much to our our recovery?

[llkb4me 1]

Janet, you are right it takes two days to recover now. We'd have to start on Friday so I could function on Monday. lol

I'm not Catholic but guess I'm just bad. Got to amend that not to bad any more, can't drink the beer. Boy do I miss that sometimes.

Laura K

[Apples2 19]

Apples, this is a comment I read on this quote and it is so true.

"Don't make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs". Quote

Comment I read online:

This is one of my favorite quotes. Take a good look at the people in your life…family, friends, co-workers, significant others, etc. Stop making excuses for poor behavior, don’t accept less than what you deserve, and weed out the ones who only care about their own needs being met. As my friend Patricia says, “A relationship should complement, not complicate.” What a difference it makes when you’re surrounded by only those who bring out the best in you. How sad that I am now all alone…HA!

Apples, don't you think relationships contribute so much to our our recovery?

Very much so, Arlene...I had mentioned a few weeks ago on this thread that I needed to do some cleaning out of toxic/one-sided friendships a couple of years ago. It felt cleansing and like the world was lifted from my shouldners. Now, it's not that I don't appreciate friendships...it's just that things were just not right in the relationships. "Cleaning house" was difficult but one of the best things I did for myself. It made me feel strong and confident.

I was so worried about hurting someone's feelings. But, I knew I could not continue being sooooooo frustrated. Today, I am so much better for taking the steps needed. I did hurt feelings in the end. The only way you can do it is be open and honest and explain it exactly as you see it. No sugar coating. That's what gets you to the place in the friendship to begin with.

Just curious, Arlene...do you have someone that tries to control? Or, you do all to initiate and she does nothing?

[Apples2 19]

Janet, you are right it takes two days to recover now. We'd have to start on Friday so I could function on Monday. lol

I'm not Catholic but guess I'm just bad. Got to amend that not to bad any more, can't drink the beer. Boy do I miss that sometimes.

Laura K

It's OK to be naughty once in awhile!

[Charlene K 1]

Very much so, Arlene...I had mentioned a few weeks ago on this thread that I needed to do some cleaning out of toxic/one-sided friendships a couple of years ago. It felt cleansing and like the world was lifted from my shouldners. Now, it's not that I don't appreciate friendships...it's just that things were just not right in the relationships. "Cleaning house" was difficult but one of the best things I did for myself. It made me feel strong and confident.

I was so worried about hurting someone's feelings. But, I knew I could not continue being sooooooo frustrated. Today, I am so much better for taking the steps needed. I did hurt feelings in the end. The only way you can do it is be open and honest and explain it exactly as you see it. No sugar coating. That's what gets you to the place in the friendship to begin with.

Just curious, Arlene...do you have someone that tries to control? Or, you do all to initiate and she does nothing?

Well, it is just dysfunctional. I initiate calls, shopping.....all those friendship things, but two years ago she went online and got into that second life. Now, I am an irritation to her if she is online. She transfered her weight problem to the virtual world. Now, she says we are going somewhere and cancels at the last moment. She needs professional help and won't go get it. I haven't called her in days. She is going to have to realize her own problems and work on them. My other problem is my adopted daughter. She has been divorced for five years. She had a 16th birthday party for my GD, but only invited her brother(my adopted son). When she found out I knew about it, she text me an hour before the party and invited me. I did not go. My DD said she didn't to pity invites. So, we went to the movies. Yes, I am hurt, but I have to realize I am not priority. So, she is getting knocked of the list of priorities. That may mean my GD might not get a down payment for her car, but, hey, she called the shots. This is so hard for me because I have always been a people pleaser........I am working on it.

On a health issue.....this medicine I am on is causing my pulse to run in the 90's. I don't think that is normal. I am going to call the doctor and let her know.

Thanks for asking. It really helps to talk about my issues even though they are minor.

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Morning......didn't sleep well, but this time because of my cold... Had to get up and sleep in my recliner, otherwise I coughed.... I'm ready for this to be gone!!!

I've had to do that housecleaning in my friendships in the past, too..... It is hard, but after a while you just can't stand doing all the work and being a doormat... One should get as well as give in any relationship... The one person in my life that was a friend from college didn't even seem to miss me when I quit.... She never even inquired why...... So I knew I was right to let her go..... I've beeen trying to teach this to my DD who is 26.... In a small town where children are in grades in school with only 30-40 kids and only half girls, they are almost forced to be friends be sheer circumstance.. so many of her friends have caused her such pain in years since high school and I've tried to tell her that she isn't forced to be friends with them anymore. She is grown up and can now find people who share her opinions and accept her just for who she is.. Well, this has finally happened to here.... With this last job change she has made new friends right here in our little town. Some married with children and some single parents like she is... She is happier know that she has been in years... Even she can see it now.. It is so good for her and I am very happy about it....

You all have been talking about catholic school and such and I've been meaning to tell you that when I was in 7th and 8th grade, we used to get out of school to go to our confirmation classes and I'm a Lutheran.... We even got to do our lessons during study hall if need be... No one thought anything of it... It was agreed to by the school board and certainly hurt nothing.... Things are so different now and not for the better I don't think!!!!! We sure are a diverse group.....don't ya think???!!!!

Champrickie, glad you have been helped by our thread... Please feel free to jump in and tell us about yourself and where you are in your WL journey.... Prayers have gone out for you..... Hope you'll be back to talk...

Janet, no news about my MRI... they said 5-6 working days for an answer, so that means today or tomorrow I would think....

Eva, hope the rain stays away until you are ready for it.... What is a pilates machine? did I miss something??

Meredith, you go ahead and start packing... This is a very exciting time and you should enjoy it.... that's only a month from now and it takes time to pack correctly and plan things out... have fun..... sorry about the no word of your friends mother...

Lori, you must be so happy to be almost finished with therapy... And when you go to the rec center just remember because you don't have this job you can come to be with us in FL!!!!!!!!!

Linda, I'm just so impressed with all you've done.. Keep up all the good work.... Cheri, you, too......

Well, only an hour until Mimi comes and I need to get things in order... DH went to work to haul grain this morning.... Sorry to have forgotten some of you, but my brain is only going so far today.. I really should make notes as I read.... I do occassionally, but not this time... Everyone have a good day.... Julie

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Arlene, we must have been posting at the same time....

Your issues are not minor.... If it's important to you then it is to me, too.... DH I have had to make the same decisions about his 2 older kids and their families... We are sick of trying and trying and always being left in the background or as an afterthought.............or if they need something.... Christmas was a big disappointment again because we don't count... The older step-daughter and her husband agreed to see us over Christmas, but the Saturday before only... A little visit at their apartment we had never seen since they moved into in April...then out to supper at our expense.... We took gifts.... none from them.... Then just off our separate ways... When we asked about their plans they just said they were spending the day by themselves.... So we didn't count for the acutal holiday.... They are selfish... The step- son and his family did call to thank us for gifts, but not a card even from them..... I, too, have had enough.... So has DH... he is so ashamed of how his kids treat us.... They are jealous of our DD who is here.... She is my biological and DH adopted her when we got married. She was 11..... By DH says that she is the only one who acts like she cares about us, so she gets the attention and if they don't like it, tough.... I hate it that he has to feel this way about his own kids, but they did it to themselves........ It's selfish behavior learned from their biological mother... Anyway, enough of that, but I sure do understand.... Take care of yourself.... That's what is important.... I have to ask because I'm not real sure, but are you married or single??? I'm having a senior moment....... Take care......

[Charlene K 1]

My DH and I just celebrated our 40th. Yes, it is painful. She a very beautiful girl and has never experienced rejection other than her mother dying and her father a drug addict........and there lies her problem. She has always played the victim in relationships, but she has done a lot of victimizing. The one hope is she is in counseling with her man. I am staying away and hope that she works out her issues.

The beauty of having five kids..........is just enjoy the ones who want to be around you. The others will wake up one day. They know what is right.

[Apples2 19]

My DH and I just celebrated our 40th. Yes, it is painful. She a very beautiful girl and has never experienced rejection other than her mother dying and her father a drug addict........and there lies her problem. She has always played the victim in relationships, but she has done a lot of victimizing. The one hope is she is in counseling with her man. I am staying away and hope that she works out her issues.

The beauty of having five kids..........is just enjoy the ones who want to be around you. The others will wake up one day. They know what is right.

You know, Arlene...you hit the nail on the head in stating maybe the others will wake up some day. YOU cannot change them.. they have to come to the realization as to what they are doing. And, if they don't come around, it's truly not your problem. You tried? You treated with respect and took care of her growing up? You taught her right from wrong? Good for you if that's how it was and not much you can do if she takes a wrong turn in life...you did your job. They need to live their own lives but they also have to realize that what comes with that is total independence.

Same with Julie's DH. Her sentence about him feeling bad made me feel so sad for him. His job is also done. His kids should be showing him affection and appreciation at this point in his life...not playing mind games.

I wish the best in these family issues to both of your families. Things like this just plain hurt.