I'm here to help...

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Hey guys~

Really really crappy news from DH... They had the consult with the MD Anderson doc.... and after she reviewed everything... (the only thing they did was have their pathologist review the slides of his urine cytology and he had the identical diagnosis)... she said there is nothing more to do. She said to try and continue the chemo but that if it gets intolerable and it seems it is, then she recommends stopping. Prognosis: without chemo= average is 4 mo. +/- 2 mo. (and of course she states that she is only quoting statistics and there is no real way to know). DH said she was very nice and compassionate but that it sucked. Mom was crying and Dad was pissed for traveling all that way to hear only that. She did add that the history concerned her (my PGM died in 50s of colon cancer and now Dad with this type of urothelial CA-it is a combination that is almost always passed on. And she said there is a genetic test that all three of his children should have done.) SIGH <loud and audible>

DH is waiting to change his flight, wants to get them packed and on their way before he makes his plans. Dad's pilot left this morning, since he thought they would be there a week. They were able to radio him to turn around. The weather is really shitty in Houston and now not sure if he can land... or if they can take off today.

I can barely type this through the tears. Happy 50th wedding anniversary to my parents. They are devastated and there is nothing anyone can do. I am so sad for them. I feel helpless, angry, and confused.

[Apples2 19]

Hey guys~

Really really crappy news from DH... They had the consult with the MD Anderson doc.... and after she reviewed everything... (the only thing they did was have their pathologist review the slides of his urine cytology and he had the identical diagnosis)... she said there is nothing more to do. She said to try and continue the chemo but that if it gets intolerable and it seems it is, then she recommends stopping. Prognosis: without chemo= average is 4 mo. +/- 2 mo. (and of course she states that she is only quoting statistics and there is no real way to know). DH said she was very nice and compassionate but that it sucked. Mom was crying and Dad was pissed for traveling all that way to hear only that. She did add that the history concerned her (my PGM died in 50s of colon cancer and now Dad with this type of urothelial CA-it is a combination that is almost always passed on. And she said there is a genetic test that all three of his children should have done.) SIGH <loud and audible>

DH is waiting to change his flight, wants to get them packed and on their way before he makes his plans. Dad's pilot left this morning, since he thought they would be there a week. They were able to radio him to turn around. The weather is really shitty in Houston and now not sure if he can land... or if they can take off today.

I can barely type this through the tears. Happy 50th wedding anniversary to my parents. They are devastated and there is nothing anyone can do. I am so sad for them. I feel helpless, angry, and confused.

My heart aches for you, Laura. Always good to hold out for some hope and now reality is slapping you in the face. I guess it is now onto this next phase for you and your family. This simply just sucks.

Not much I can say to take your hurt away except for that I am thinking of you and what you and your family are facing. Sending hugs.:willy_nilly:

[IndioGirl55 32]

Laura

I am so sorry that the news wasn't what you were hoping and praying for.. What can I say - nothing that's going to make you feel any better - Just know I am thinking of you and sending you big old hugs...

[IndioGirl55 32]

Yup!:willy_nilly:

OMG - What have I been missing out on - I have used those stupid little weight control oatmeal packs - 160 cal 7 grms pt and barely makes a cup -hell I think it makes only half a cup..

I made it this morning - I think I used to much Water it said 1.5 cups (I think I used just a little too much and this was before I had my coffee ;0) threw in some cinnamon and splenda brown sugar - brought to a boil - threw in 1/4 c oats stirred and covered - ck'd on it after shower - then forgot about it - but it was fine it was on low - threw in the raisin and poured it into a container that holds 1.75 cups ..

Well Peeps - Steel Cut Oats is the way to go !!! I think this Breakfast wil keep me full - where as oatmeal doesnt usually..

And this is coming from a person who use to hate oatmeal as a child and young adult - didn't start liking it till I was in my 30's..

[Charlene K 1]

Oh Laura, I am sorry for the bad news. I prayed for your dad last night. I had such hope that MD could help him. I live right outside of Houston and the fog is unreal. I hope they take their time to leave. I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer. HUGS for you today!

OKay, Janet, I hate oatmeal too. I guess if you like these oats I will have to give them a try..........what is the brand name?

[IndioGirl55 32]

OKay, Janet, I hate oatmeal too. I guess if you like these oats I will have to give them a try..........what is the brand name?

Charlene - I haven't hated oatmeal since I was in my 30's prior to that it just looked awful and I remember once my Mom MADE us eat some (I can only remember 2 times her ever making us eat something we didn't like) I didn't like the consistance I think and she may not have put enough sugar in it - I don't remember I was like 4 yrs old ..

I got the quaker brand - normal size carton - Steel Cut Oats

Like I said I put alot of cinnamon (maybe 1 tsp) in it and splenda brown sugar (maye 1 tblesn) and raisin it was a little too watery - but I may have put too much Water in - some walunts would have made it even better...

[Charlene K 1]

Charlene - I haven't hated oatmeal since I was in my 30's prior to that it just looked awful and I remember once my Mom MADE us eat some (I can only remember 2 times her ever making us eat something we didn't like) I didn't like the consistance I think and she may not have put enough sugar in it - I don't remember I was like 4 yrs old ..

I got the quaker brand - normal size carton - Steel Cut Oats

Like I said I put alot of cinnamon (maybe 1 tsp) in it and splenda brown sugar (maye 1 tblesn) and raisin it was a little too watery - but I may have put too much Water in - some walunts would have made it even better...

Sounds yummy! I am a huge brown sugar and cinnamon fan. I will try it.

[Apples2 19]

Janet...I only put the little extra Water in it if I am going to freeze it. Chopped, dried dates are also very good in it. Some morning I throw a little dried cherries or cranberries. Also throw a little handful of Kasdhi crunch in sometimes.

Merry Christmas to Janet and her newfound breakfast!

I was force fed oatmeal as a kid...hated it. (Another reason to spit behind the frig). When we were in FL last year I felt I needed more Fiber in my diet and DH has to watch his colesterol. This little cafe at our resorts offers the steel cut homemade with brown sugar and raisins. I tried some of DH's and the rest is history.

Growing up we also had cornmeal mush and cooked bulgar for breakfast. Liked those and also cream of wheat and Malt-O-Meal. But, don't think those are as healthy.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Janet...I only put the little extra Water in it if I am going to freeze it. Chopped, dried dates are also very good in it. Some morning I throw a little dried cherries or cranberries. Also throw a little handful of Kasdhi crunch in sometimes.

Merry Christmas to Janet and her newfound breakfast!

I was force fed oatmeal as a kid...hated it. (Another reason to spit behind the frig). When we were in FL last year I felt I needed more fiber in my diet and DH has to watch his colesterol. This little cafe at our resorts offers the steel cut homemade with brown sugar and raisins. I tried some of DH's and the rest is history.

Growing up we also had cornmeal mush and cooked bulgar for breakfast. Liked those and also cream of wheat and Malt-O-Meal. But, don't think those are as healthy.

Now I like cornmeal mush - aka grits - but the savoy kind not the sweet kind (I got some instant varitiy packs that have 150 cal in it to try as a side dish for dinner - haven't tryed them yet - I like shrimp and grits and you can make a lower fat verison)r - - haven't ever eaten cream of wheat or malt o meal :0)

[Apples2 19]

Now I like cornmeal mush - aka grits - but the savoy kind not the sweet kind (I got some instant varitiy packs that have 150 cal in it to try as a side dish for dinner - haven't tryed them yet - I like shrimp and grits and you can make a lower fat verison)r - - haven't ever eaten cream of wheat or malt o meal :0)

The kind of cornmeal much we made was out of the yellow cornmeal like corn bread is made out of. I am sure there are more calories. Nutritional info says 1oz or 3 tbls unprepared have 100 cals.

[FemmeOne 0]

Ah, cornmeal mush...except we Italians call it polenta and it's my soul food. Served with spaghetti sauce over it, or sliced up in squares and broiled with parmesian and romano cheese. Yum.

Now I'm REALLY hungry and I've been on liquids all day. Went to the dr's and got 3/4 cc taken out. I can't tell any difference yet, but I sure hope I can eat something now. I'm down another couple lbs, so I hope I still have enough restriction yet to keep losing.

[FemmeOne 0]

Laura, I'm so sorry about your dad. There's not much to say except "this too shall pass."

[Great2BThin 5]

Well, I guess I misunderstood what the post-op diet was. I thought it was going to take a week or two to return to regular foods. Boy was I surprised when last night I was reading about it and it said 5 weeks. I really did research this stuff I guess I saw 5 days instead of 5 weeks. I was up all night wondering how I am gonna make it. Here I am struggling with every little carb. I know I have to do this I just don't know how I can. I am just a little upset this morning. I have to go to class now but I will be back las, ter.

Jewel, you really do need to call your dr office and get all the info before you have surgery, you need to go into this fully prepared. Do they offer pre op classes? My doc requires them it helped a lot. I hate to tell you but you will have food struggles after surgery but they are different. Once you have your band and a fill or two you will have the restriction and get full on much smaller amounts of food, but that doesn't mean your head doesn't still tell you that you want more or that you want to eat sliders (stuff like ice cream, chips, etc. that go right through the band). The band doesn't do all the work, you have to do a lot of it too still. Still that being said, it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. If you search around this site, you will find many many opinions and variations of the pre op and postop diets, many docs differ. The best advice I've heard on that, is follow the instructions of the doc that is going to take care of you if you have any complications, therefore, you need to follow what your specific dr requires.

I think you will do even better with this knee because you have a good knee to stabilize you. My husband had a much easier time with his second surgery. Lori , I will be praying for you. I know having surgery at Christmas is a bummer......been there, but it is also a good excuse to sit back and enjoy it while others help. Take Care! Don't overdo on that job. Your health is more important.

Thanks Arlene, can never have too many prayers. Too late on overdoing it on the job. I really have 2nd thoughts about going in tomorrow but know I probably will. Today I did windows for 3 hours and these were very high up windows, I was up and down the ladder so many times, my legs hurt so bad I can hardly walk. I will take it easier tomorrow.

Hey guys~

Really really crappy news from DH... They had the consult with the MD Anderson doc.... and after she reviewed everything... (the only thing they did was have their pathologist review the slides of his urine cytology and he had the identical diagnosis)... she said there is nothing more to do. She said to try and continue the chemo but that if it gets intolerable and it seems it is, then she recommends stopping. Prognosis: without chemo= average is 4 mo. +/- 2 mo. (and of course she states that she is only quoting statistics and there is no real way to know). DH said she was very nice and compassionate but that it sucked. Mom was crying and Dad was pissed for traveling all that way to hear only that. She did add that the history concerned her (my PGM died in 50s of colon cancer and now Dad with this type of urothelial CA-it is a combination that is almost always passed on. And she said there is a genetic test that all three of his children should have done.) SIGH <loud and audible>

Oh that really sucks, Laura. As the others have said, there's not much I can say to take away the pain and the hurt. But know that we all care and are here for you to vent away. DH's uncle just got about the same prognosis and is going on hospice care the family is so torn up over it.

Well had a very busy and productive day. See above note to Arlene, I overdid it at work today and am aching now but will have plenty of time to rest coming up! LOL Then I took Grandma to Kohls, she needed one more gift. For lunch I took her to Famous Daves (a BBQ rib place). I wanted her to see the decor as it reminded me so much of Wisconsin and the cottage they used to have 'up north'. Right by our table was an old photograph of a 'cottage' in Hayward, WI and she got such a kick out of it (it looked so much like theirs) that she had to tell the manager about it. He gets to chatting with her and come to find out that is where this chain got started so, of course, it's now her favorite restaurant, anything from Wisconsin or Norwegian and she'll love it. LOL

After I took her home I went to Walmart and got my eye exam and some new reading glasses. I got some really funky ones, figured if I have to wear them, t hey might as well be fun. Then I got totally frustrated at my next stop, the DMV. GRRRRR I just went to get a 3 mos handicap sticker for my car for my knee surgery. Well the sticker I have from my last knee is still good for a week, so since I didn't have it with me she wouldn't give me the new one. I said well no one can use it but me, she said I don't know what you are going to do with it. I explained how I was having surgery on Wed. and would be hard for me to come back in, but htey didn't care. I was so mad, I see so many cars with those stickers and here I was trying to be honest and up front (I mentioned having one that expired in a week, I should've kept my big mouth shut) and now I have to go back when I am on my walker a week out from surgery to get the new one. Ridiculous!

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Thanks y'all for the thoughts and hugs. I really had tried not to get my hopes up, as a part of me half expected this news. But still... <sigh> And the other part that is horrible is my Dad got mad at me b/c I told my siblings. HE wanted to tell them and when he called my sister to tell her they were coming back early, she went on and on about how sorry she was and then asked if she should cancel her bariatric support group meeting for tonight. (she is famous for not having common sense in the area of listening and being sensitive to people's feelings/needs). Like, DUH, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know a) just LISTEN to him before speaking :thumbup: don't mention your trivial needs/wants c) she drove them to the airport, um, don't you think they might want to be picked up tonight?! d) it is their 50th wedding anniversary tonight- just cancel your plans and be there for them! (now I think I know why he didn't want me to tell them. b/c of her... but I was trying to "prepare" her so she would be aware and could use some couth.)

And DH is stuck in Houston tonight. By the time he got them packed and to the little FBO airport that is south of town, he wasn't able to get the last direct flight back. The other flights were like 8 hr trips vs. 2. So we will see him tomorrow. Nels is very excited that daddy is coming home early. (me too)

House is clean, laundry all done, grocery shopping done and even filled the cars with gas (that is usually DH's job almost always- and I wanted the week started with full tanks. Did this of course before I knew he was coming home early).

Great~ Can't believe the DMV. meanies.

Apples, Janet, arlene & femme~ You guys have me craving mush... aka steel cut, grits and polenta. I am a southern belle and was raised on red eye gravy, biscuits, grits and my most favorite is sausage gravy. I ONLY like slow cooked grits, as the instant one tastes fake. And FYI... GRITS stands for GIRLS RAISED IN THE SOUTH. ; )

peasout.... Laura

[JeweI 2]

So far I have only had one appt with the surgeon, one with a fitness lady and one with a nutritionist. The surgeon gave me EMMI and I watched it. I will watch it again. I guess it was just so much info I misunderstood. My second appt with the surgeon is weds. So I am gonna make sure I am clear on everything. Plus, reading everything on here has helped alot. I am now more determined to get this pre-op diet right. All three of us are sacrificing so I can do this. I can't let myself and my family down. I will make it because I am stubborn.

Tommorrow is a new day though so I will just keep at it til I get it right. My husband last night actually said he wishes he was as tencious as I am. My family calls it stubborn.

I just did a really stupid thing. I stopped taking my psych meds and it has caused me to slowly come undone. I took them today and will be getting back to them. I don't know what I was thinking.

Just had a rough one. My professor today was talking about going through the final stages of life. It was so hard to get through without crying. She brought up alot of memories of my Mimi's last days. Normally I can think of her and smile but my emotions are off the track today. She also made us take time to reflect on our relationships and I guess I am just not good at having one. I just feel like failure when I think of my family and how disfunctional we are. No thanksgiving calls or christmas invites. I am lucky to get a Facebook happy birthday from a couple of them. I have learned though to take criticisim and try to improve myself. Thats the best I can do. Strive everyday to be better. Hopefully I will get better at relationships.

Thinking of my Mimi though, I do remember that at one point in her life she was really big. Her Doc put her on Optifast and she lost so much weight and went on a cruise to Jamaica to Celebrate. What an inspiration to me. Maybe I should start planning a cruise.:thumbup:

I think as far as my In laws go, They know. The doc office keeps calling here announcing they are weightloss surgical center. (I asked them not too) I am gonna tell my inlaws formally, I am just not ready to face them on it. I guess part of it is I don't want to discuss my weight with them. And yall already know the other parts. She did offer to bring me home some Mcd's tonite and I just reminded her I was on a diet.