I'm here to help...

[Apples2 19]

Arlene...thanks for the kudos...Hot Chick? I am just an almost 54 yr old that is just happy to be healthy again and be able to move about and actually wear a pair of jeans again. Happy to run through this too big house now that my DS's are gone and actually be able to accomplish what I set out to do. So many perks with reaching that goal that I once thought was unattainable.

Linda...aren't you sweet...it is nice to hear what you and Janet said about not being too skinny. I was afraid to post because of that. My DH thinks I'm normal and healthy. You guys on this thread know I have struggled with many comments from locals (even one at a wake a couple weeks ago....A lady I didn't even know broke into a conversation I was having with the widow and said "Girl, you'd better eat something and just walked away". Needless to say...it blew me away. But, I handle it and I live my own life and don't put my nose where it doesn't belong and feel that a person deserves the same respect in return. Got the same kind of comments when people found out I did the band. Had many say that I wasn't heavy enough...WTH? 249? I guess it is a shock when I have not seen someone for awhile...that's part of it. Another is I have extremely lanky arms and legs and have always dressed to cover up that dreaded middle. Hell, I'm just going to get on with life and not worry anymore what anyone thinks. As far as the jealousy issues...I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that is not an issue.

You girls have been the best thing for me. I feel like I can ask you anything, have great daily conversations, not be judged and I thank you for that.

Ok, Linda, to your harvest question...nope have not been out for quite a few days. We have had rain since Wed. SUN is finally out this morning and thinking we will get back into the field Mon or Tues.

Cheri...I read your post last night but did not comment. You got it right with children needing someone important in their life to guide them...especially if they are challenged with learning disorders, ADD, ADHD.

Raising mine, doing homework, etc. was a challenge. Had DH and both DS's tested at the same time when sons were in early elementary school. Never wanted to "label" the boys but needed to know. One DS and DH were waaaaaaaay off the charts ADD and other DS sooooo ADHD. We got them through and they came through college on their own with flying colors. I think if they have parents or someone in their lives to encourage them and tell them that they can do whatever they set their mind to, they can take that and run with it. They need their confidence built up and to know that they always have someone in their lives that believe in them. I give you credit for the job you do with these children. Too often they fall through the cracks because there is not a person in their lives that makes the effort to make them see they can do it.

Cleaning blinds today. Have white wood ones in the kitchen. Three large windows. Should be a good workout for the arms. Others in the living areas are a little easier to clean. Why do flies have to crap on white blinds?????????? Better question yet...why do crazy ladies buy white blinds???????????

[Apples2 19]

Hey Phyll...thanks...and, I love my kitchen too. We remodeled 9 yrs ago. Waited so long to be able to do it that it was very well thought out. That's only about 1/3 of it in the photo. Have dining and my "office" on the other end and off to the side.

What a good grandma and grandpa. My two DS's never saw a grandparent at a game, wrestling match, Future Farmers of American awards program, church program, etc. and one set lived 2 miles down the road and other 25 miles. (We did fill their lives up with good people that made an effort though). You get the Grandma Gold Star for the day!

[Apples2 19]

Hi the walkin wounded here ,Banded on 10/15/09 two days ago. Nothing I ve read as prepared me for this pain and discomfort,nauseatd,sore and not sure Ill ever be hungry again.Any sugestions that worked for others?

Believe me, Larraine...this will all settle down and you WILL feel better. Just make sure you get your liquids in and don't get dehydrated. I know it's tough to get things in when you are feeling nauseated, but it's worth it. Is it the pain meds that are making you feel sick to your stomach? Maybe give your doc a call to let him know how you are feeling.

Come back here with any questions you might have. It' does help to have a support system. Take care and good luck

[Great2BThin 5]

Goodness I had 4 pages of posts to read and catch up on. I started quoting a bunch of them to reply too then realized it was so many. I so appreciate the comments on my mom/sisters issue. My mom tends to have the belief that women are to wait on their men however, she sure doesn't practice it herself. My poor dad dotes on her. She has the 'center of the universe' syndrome and everything is all about her usually, she doesn't practice what she preaches. For 2 days she's been asking me to take her to costco so she could get some coq10 as it's cheaper there (she doesn't have a membership) I told her I didn't think I could walk a whole Costco store but would go with her and wait at the front snack bar until she was ready to chck out and meet her inline. Well she finally asked my sister to take her today, her reason for not wanting to ask? My sister was going to be out last night til 1am and she knew she'd be tired. HUH?? HELLO?? I just had knee surgery. Oh well so at least they are gone for the day and my 2 sisters are taking them on all their errands, etc. and I am getting some much needed rest. Dad is going to grill us steaks for dinner tonight. Apples, I think you are right in that I am a bit sensitive when it comes to the comments they make, but they have made so many over the years. Probably kindda like when those snooty women make the too skinny comments to you. A person can just take so much. I am not as sensitve when it comes to others and tend to take things more with a grain of salt and let them roll off or give others more the benefit of the doubt. Now the new comment I am getting from my family is how I can't lose any more weight as my weight loss has aged me so much and my face looks so drawn and sickly. Jealousy? perhaps, who knows.

My knee is doing pretty good, I know I over did it yesterday. I really wanted to see my Grandma and the walk into the building to her apt is long and then I met DD at a bridal shop and sat in a couch and watched her try on dresses, she found a gorgeous one that she ordered last night so was glad I could be there for that, and then we got dinner after. I crashed when I got home but actually did very well in the night as far as pain pills go. Today I am parked in teh recliner for the most part playing on this lap top and making lots of typos! LOL DD's puppy is sleeping on my lap.

Laura, so sorry of all you are going through with your dad. How lucky they are to have you there with them and to have the medical expertise of you and DH to help them decipher all the medical lingo and talk.

Apples, as I said in the June 2008 thread, you look fantastic. So much younger too! I love the hair if that's windblown and messy bring it on!

Arlene, glad the pain is better and good luck with the possible unfill and tests.

Phyl, I second what Apples said about being the grandparent that goes to the games etc. My kids never had much support in that area either from grandparents, we had fantastic friends and what not that came and supported. In fact my DS made college Basketball and my folks who can fly free anywhere in the country never went to a single college game. I plan on being the grandparent that is totally there for my grandkids. If only I had a grandkid, instead I have a grandpuppy in my lap. LOL

Eva, the wedding card sounds neat!

Globally, congrats on the loss thus far

Meredith, how are you feeling/? Congrats on teh 16's. Sometimes we just need a 'me' day!

Linda, did you make it to the gym?

LauraK, I hear you on the getting cold so much easier now! I have bought so many sweaters and layers for this winter and now got the biggest bulkiest winter coat at Bass pro Shops too. The gas company is going to love me this winter as much as I tend to want to run the furnace to stay warm. DH is always sweating and I'm freezing.

Janet, glad you finally got recognized for your 30 yrs, much better than a layoff. Which Coach purse did you get? Coach and Ann Taylor are my 2 biggest vices. LOL

[Apples2 19]

Gosh, Lori...I hope I did not insult you when I made the statement about being sensitive...I, myself, wish that I were not as sensitive as I am. My point I was trying to make is that you ARE sensitive and these things are going to get to you. Didn't want to make you feel bad. My DH is always saying that I should learn to just let things roll. Easier said than done...especially with women. Guys can curse a guy one day and be patting them on the back having a beer with them the next. Women, on the other hand, have a little tougher time with things like that.

Anyway...I do understand where you are coming from with your family issues...Maybe THEY should show some sensitivity towards YOU.

[Great2BThin 5]

Gosh, Lori...I hope I did not insult you when I made the statement about being sensitive...I, myself, wish that I were not as sensitive as I am. My point I was trying to make is that you ARE sensitive and these things are going to get to you. Didn't want to make you feel bad. My DH is always saying that I should learn to just let things roll. Easier said than done...especially with women. Guys can curse a guy one day and be patting them on the back having a beer with them the next. Women, on the other hand, have a little tougher time with things like that.

Anyway...I do understand where you are coming from with your family issues...Maybe THEY should show some sensitivity towards YOU.

Not in the least! Not insulted at all, it's very true. My husband tells me the same thing. He's actually been encouraging me lately to have less and less to do with my sisters. I know I am way too sensitve to their comments and I know they know it. With me losing weight also, I think it has upset the apple cart so to speak in that our 'roles' in the family are now different. I hope my comments back to your post didn't come across wrong or insulting to you.

[Apples2 19]

LOL....I don't think you could intentionally offend anyone, Lori! I think if there is one thing all of will learn during this process is that our relationships WILL change even though we, in our hearts, feel that we have not changed and we are the same person inside.

If we have people in our lives that are shallow enough to resent a person for moving towards a healthier life. One of my favorite says is "They'll just have to sit in their own pew for awhile." If a relationship has gotten to a point where it's more work than it's worth, let it sit by the wayside for awhile. If it is a relationship that is truly worth saving, put some work into it. Time will tell which ones are worth saving. When it comes to family...who the hell knows!

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

My gosh, you all are a busy bunch today... Hard to keep up with everything... Just finishing all the cooking and baking I have to have ready for Harvest Mission Fest at church tomorrow... Also, my mother's birthday, so made a big cake to take for potluck....along with a salad and Buns and dressing and gravy.(others are bringing turkey and potatoes.) Anyway, need to get ready to go to a 60th birthday party for my uncle now...

Apples, I'm in awe..... You aren't TOO skinny, but boy are you long and lean!!!!!! Wow!!!! I feel very fat compared to you........... I'm still heavier than you were when you started.... Hard to get my head around all that, I'm afraid.... But I'm so happy for you.... Your husband has a beautiful wife....

Janet, congrats on the kudos that are long overdue from work...

Lori, enjoy your little break from Mom.... My mother drives me crazy all the time, but I often stop myself and say, " what if she wasn't here anymore??" then I feel guilty for my feelings... Mine doesn't make me feel bad like yours doesn... Since her stroke mine is just so weird.......not at all like she used to be and it's hard to handle... And sibling problems are not fun... I have all brothers and some days they drive me crazy, too.. I don't know why I'm the only sane one!!!!?????? LOL............

Laura Honey, you take care.... I've been in your place and I remember all too well the emotions that are running wild in you.... Remember to take care of yourself, too.... God Bless you and yours....

I'd love to comment on everyone's posts but DH is hollering for me to get moving.... Know you are all in my thoughts and I'm hoping things are good for you.... tomorrow is another busy day so don't know when I'll get back... TTYL............. Julie

[Apples2 19]

Julie..you are too kind and waaaay to hard on yourself. You are a beautiful woman in more ways than just your outer beauty. You will get there...you've made great strides so far. Do you realize how many setbacks you have had? You are going at it day by day and seeing results. Hang tough and good luck with all your events this weekend.

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

hey guys~

OMG!!!!!!!!! Apples, love love love your photos!! I cannot even tell your before and after are the same woman! You look great for your age, at least 15 yrs off your age! And I too love your kitchen.

Today was a long day. My longest/oldest best friend in the world came by to see me and my family. We were crib friends. Actually our parents knew each other 5 years before we were born. They were best of friends too until about 10 years ago. Their middle son is gay and they are catholic and were ashamed. They started avoiding my parents and would lie to them. And drifted apart. Then out of the blue tried to call them one day and my dad was pissed and wouldn't talk to them. Then it was war and no one would talk. They wouldn't even come to my wedding and they were the first folks after my parents to hold me after I was born! My friend and i have remained very close despite our stubborn parents. 3 years ago her dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer with mets to colon. My dad wanted to call him, but then said "I would never want people to talk to me just b/c i was dying". So now, the shoe is on the other foot. Her dad wants to talk to my dad but knows how he feels. Just so grade school. My mom just sobbed when she saw her and my dad just hugged her for several minutes. It meant a lot to them. (she drove up from SC). Then my brother and his family came. And my sister's daughter too. So everyone was here except DH and Nelson. My dad was smiling watching all his kids and grandkids talking and joking. He almost had this look like.... maybe one of the reasons for getting sick was to bring this family together. weird i know. they weren't planning on staying for dinner, but dad didn't want everyone to leave. He asked each grandkid their favorite pizza and those were the 3 he ordered (even though those aren't his favorite). I couldn't even eat it and made a tuna salad thing with chickpeas and veggies in it. My brother's wife is a POS, and didnt say one thing to my dad. Nothing. And she is a nurse practitioner. Also, not a word about my weight loss. My nephew who is also my God son, said "Auntie Laura, you are really looking good!"

I have been taking pics of my dad. I got a great shot of him talking with his best friend. Some of him at the airport. some in the plane. I didn't take any tonight, b/c i didn't want my SIL in them. oh, i think it was janet that asked the other day who flew the plane. My dad has a friend/co pilot come. His friend flew, though dad sat up front and actively listened with the headset and such.

Tomorrow we have no real plans. Will hang out and get ready for monday. Monday is port placement, head MRI and Bone scan. Then getting chemo scheduled. I hope monday we get all those things done. We still need to call that dr and let him know he is the chosen one.

ok friends, hope everyone is well. more later.

peasout

[Apples2 19]

Laura...you have such a talent for explaining everything that's going on. Thanks for keeping us informed. Don't know what to say except hang in there. Sounds like your dad is really appreciative of having you kids around him at this time. Every minute spent taking his mind off his medical troubles is a good one. He sounds like a very caring Grandpa with ordering the kid's fav pizza. What a guy!

How's your band reacting to all of this, Laura? Make sure you take care of yourself and know that we are all with you in this. Again, thanks for updating us.

Also...thanks for the photo compliments. All I know is that I feel wonderful..healthy. Sending hugs.

[ifyourstomachoffendsyou 1]

Apples, you're beautiful.

Laura, we love you. You will get through this.

Great, sabotage often disguises itself as love when people are toxic. I always tell the children I'm teaching that when they point a finger at someone else there are 3 fingers pointing back at them. I also tell them that what goes around comes around. I find them quoting that back to me.

I see resilient children, loving children, children who may never be academic geniuses but they choose love.

That's what makes for successful people. You are a successful person because you choose to fill your life with love. How sad that your mother and sisters don't.

Don't know if you're a Harry Potter fan, but what saves Harry, over and over again, is his ability to love and be loved. It's what makes him different from Voldemort.

We are all resilient. We have chosen the band to extend the length and the quality of our lives. We are willing to do the work and make the sacrifices. We love and support each other.

We are creating a loving, safe environment for those who've struggle with food addiction and have been banded. There are always going to be unsafe people out there and sometimes they're relatives. Mine was my ex-husband and sometimes my children. I have one son I limit my contact with. I protect myself. So that I can love and be loved.

Love you all.

Cheri

[Great2BThin 5]

Cheri, thank you! Your post is so insightful and a lot to think about but so right on I think. And it's part of the reason that I am thinking of limiting my contact with my sisters going forward. I am not going to go so far as disown them but I am going to put some protective walls around me. As Apples post stated some relationships we need to decide which relationships are worth saving. While we are both jointly helping care for my Grandma I don't want there to be lots of animosity between us, but I will proceed with caution. I love them and my parents but that doesn't give them permission to constantly put me down either. Thanks for all the advice and loving arms I have felt around these parts!

I am feeling pretty good tonight with my knee, I took it very easy today. I have a weird sensation/pain though. Phyl or Cheri, did you get this burning, numby, tingly, crinkly feeling on the surface of your skin? It's so weird feeling and hard to describe.

[phyllser 3]

Hey Phyll...thanks...and, I love my kitchen too. We remodeled 9 yrs ago. Waited so long to be able to do it that it was very well thought out. That's only about 1/3 of it in the photo. Have dining and my "office" on the other end and off to the side.

What a good grandma and grandpa. My two DS's never saw a grandparent at a game, wrestling match, Future Farmers of American awards program, church program, etc. and one set lived 2 miles down the road and other 25 miles. (We did fill their lives up with good people that made an effort though). You get the Grandma Gold Star for the day!

So sorry your son's didn't get that attention from their grandparents. Too us, that is a really enjoyable part of grandparenting. Our departure from the NW this month was planned around Thomas' Grandparents Day at pre-school! We'd been several other times with his brother and sister, so it was important to be there for him, too. The games... I wish we could see more! We've sat through soccer and football games in pouring rain, and cold wrapped up in blankets and keeping our hands warm with a cup of coffee! We love it! School plays, band concerts, DH spoke at one of the grandkids' elementary school along with some other grandpas on Veterans Day. These are the sweet things of life!

Cheri, thank you! Your post is so insightful and a lot to think about but so right on I think. And it's part of the reason that I am thinking of limiting my contact with my sisters going forward. I am not going to go so far as disown them but I am going to put some protective walls around me. As Apples post stated some relationships we need to decide which relationships are worth saving. While we are both jointly helping care for my Grandma I don't want there to be lots of animosity between us, but I will proceed with caution. I love them and my parents but that doesn't give them permission to constantly put me down either. Thanks for all the advice and loving arms I have felt around these parts!

I am feeling pretty good tonight with my knee, I took it very easy today. I have a weird sensation/pain though. Phyl or Cheri, did you get this burning, numby, tingly, crinkly feeling on the surface of your skin? It's so weird feeling and hard to describe.

Great, you've made some good decisions about your family relationships! You're right... no should have permission to put you down like that.. esp family!

Weird sensations are sort of part of the package. I have that area on my heel that is still tingly, an area around the knee cap that feels numb and tingly, and sometimes the incision still feels like its pulling apart or something.. stinging, etc. The therapist told me to massage it with the tips of two of my fingers. I didn't want to at first, but when I did it, I found it did feel better. Sometimes I'll take a little ointment of some kind... melalueca, or antibiotic ointment, and rub it all up and down the incision. Yours is probably not yet healed enough to do that though. Are your stitches out yet? First I was afraid to have the nurse change the dressing.... BIG BABY! Being an RN, it's sort of embarrassing to admit that! LOL! But once she took it off, it really did feel better. She put steri strips on it. Then at the 10 day point, she took out the staples. Oh, my did that feel better! My RN daughter came up for a visit on day 9 and she was the one who initiated that. She had me call my home nurse and when she came the next day, out they came. Then I started washing it gently with wash cloth and soap in the shower each day, and when it was healed enough, I started that massaging the PT showed me.

But.. they put a tourniquet around the top of your leg and do all sorts of traumatic stuff to that leg, so it's not unusual to have some weird skin sensations.

[Great2BThin 5]

Thanks Phyl, glad to know the weird sensations aren't abnormal. Sometimes they bother me more than the knee pain. I have some type of stitches, I could hardly see them and they were underneath the scar and disolve on their own. Don't have to have anything removed and never had a dressing really. It's been bare since I've been home, I put some gauze pads over it when I put my TED hose on so it doesn't rub. the scabs are about all gone. I did start putting some lotion around it today thinking maybe that would help but not really. I'm also frustrated as I thought I'd be noticing more and more movement each day in my therapy exercises and it doesn't seem to be that way, but my therapist measures that each time and I see him tomorrow and will see what he says I am at now. Guess I am done with this and want it to be over and done now. Been taking it real easy this weekend. Mom is bored, but oh well. I can't do much shopping or anything yet. They are going to my sisters for dinner tonight so will have a quiet evening.