I'm here to help...

[JoannMarie 0]

This situation with friends and family who do not recognize our weight loss has me baffled. A very close friend spent last year losing almost 60 pounds with WW. We often go a couple of weeks without seeing each other, and every time we were together I commented - with enthusiasm - about her losses and how great she looked. She is one of the few people I have told about my surgery, mainly because I knew she would not tell all our mutual friends (and to my knowledge she has not). She also does not acknowledge my weight loss. at all. Worse, I feel us growing apart. Most of our interactions now are initiated by me.

I can understand the other members of our group not noticing. People really do get caught up in all dramas and activities of their own lives, and it takes more than 43 pounds to catch their attention. But, like Long - your group still has not noticed 125 pounds????

Some of my family have noticed and commented - some have not. Both DDs are supportive - and my DS looked at me in amazement about a week ago and told me I was looking great! This, from him who never notices anything!, felt very good. DH could not be more supportive, he's been great.

I hate that feeling of repeating junior high school in my 60's. I did not like it then and I don't like it now. I guess we just have to chalk it up to unhappiness on their part, and let it roll off. I am disappointed, though, that a friendship I valued is maybe not what I thought it was...

I sure am glad I have all of you!

[Charlene K 1]

This situation with friends and family who do not recognize our weight loss has me baffled. A very close friend spent last year losing almost 60 pounds with WW. We often go a couple of weeks without seeing each other, and every time we were together I commented - with enthusiasm - about her losses and how great she looked. She is one of the few people I have told about my surgery, mainly because I knew she would not tell all our mutual friends (and to my knowledge she has not). She also does not acknowledge my weight loss. at all. Worse, I feel us growing apart. Most of our interactions now are initiated by me.

I can understand the other members of our group not noticing. People really do get caught up in all dramas and activities of their own lives, and it takes more than 43 pounds to catch their attention. But, like Long - your group still has not noticed 125 pounds????

Some of my family have noticed and commented - some have not. Both DDs are supportive - and my DS looked at me in amazement about a week ago and told me I was looking great! This, from him who never notices anything!, felt very good. DH could not be more supportive, he's been great.

I hate that feeling of repeating junior high school in my 60's. I did not like it then and I don't like it now. I guess we just have to chalk it up to unhappiness on their part, and let it roll off. I am disappointed, though, that a friendship I valued is maybe not what I thought it was...

I sure am glad I have all of you!

Joann, Amen. I don't like that high school crap at my age. You see, it is more than about weight. As the layers of fat are peeled away our true selves are revealed. My friend is almost a recluse. We used to shop and lunch together several times a week. Now, she seldom goes anywhere with me, and when she does she constantly comments on obese people we see in the store. Her negativetiy his almost too much. I think she is depressed. In fact I think she has always been depressed, but she hid behind the weight. (she was a jolly person). So, you know the email about friendship.....reason, season, or lifetime.......well, losing weight was the reason for our friendship.....the season has passed.

[LittleOleMeinFL 1]

Hi everyone!

Greetings from Charleston! What an amazing town! It was sad to leave my family in NC, especially my sis. But she is doing great! She even attended her support group meeting last night, just 6 days after surgery! All the girls went (my mom, me, sis and her daughter). She was so proud of herself for going and everyone was shocked and pleased to see her there.

I am down 3 lbs while on vacation! We went to Carowinds (a large amusement park) and walked in the hot sun for 4 hours! What a great exercise day! I am trying to make good choices and definitely not eating large amounts. For example, I was DYING for oysters. I ordered a salad.. that they added 6 fried oysters. Normally I would not eat fried, but I had no other carbs... and I figured they would be less likely to get stuck then steamed. I ended up only eating 4 of them (they were large)... and a bit of salad.. mostly the veggies. DH had ordered a cup of gumbo and I had a few spoonfulls. And he had Jambalaya and I had a few bites of that as well.. just to taste. When we are out at restaurants I am ordering an unsweetened iced tea. Although I only have a few sips. It's only at restaurants, I never drink while eating when at home.

Tomorrow will be another busy day of walking and site seeing... before DH is in his conference stuff on Thursday.

ok guys... more later! peasout!

PS. PJ~ regarding the muscle milk. Make sure you get the Muscle Milk LIGHT. It's 160 cal and 20 gms of prot. (The regular one is 230 cal and then only 25 grms of Protein.) It is a Pepsi product and they sell it at most convenience stores now. They also have them at the local grocery stores. My Walmart does NOT carry them. Sam's had the regular ones, but not the light. I know you can order them online. Hope that helps.

[Apples2 19]

Evening Gang! Just got in the house from an evening of replanting flowers...yes...replanting. Our wind and chill took care of most of them. Spent the last three hours bent over taking care of my babies. Hopefully, they will survive this time. I babied those seedlings for a few months. Oh well, worth a try and I enjoyed it.

Arlene, Joanne, Long...the not noticing, negative comments, etc....sometimes I think it is jealously but try to give the benefit of the doubt and think maybe they just don't know what to say. Then you know what I do??????? I get my head out of my A$$ and know some people just cannot handle change. Maybe it's jealousy, maybe it's our friends thinking we don't have the right to change...not sure. Been there, done that. I don't have any time for it anymore. Either these "good" friends go along with me on this journey or they are coughing in my dust. I just cannot do it and cannot waste any precious time on it.

My DH finds it fortunate that some friends have shunned me after weightloss. He says it has made me tougher and no longer someone they can use as a doormat. Never thought I was one to begin with but I guess he was on the outside looking in and could recognize it where I could not. It was so tough at first but now I have peace with the way I feel about all of it.

I never called it being back in jr. high (ick) but called them the "Playground Girls"...almost back in 3rd grade.

Hey Laura......congrats on those 3lbs..AND even did it while on vacation. Way to go, girl!!! Happy to hear your sister is doing well.

Good night, sweet ppl. Gotta go and get my L.A. and NY Times crosswords in for the day. Withdrawl if I miss! Heading back up to the lake tomorrow morning. Hope you all have a great rest of the week and weekend. I'll be walking the dog, reading Ann Rule and more, planting pots, playing cards with friends, baking for our potluck, etc., etc., etc.

Sending the love to each and everyone of you!

[pj_txlady 0]

PJ...Congrats on reaching your 60lb goal! So sorry you are disappointed about your family's reaction. Maybe they just don't get how important this is for you? I am not giving them any credit for not making the effort...just wondering. You have family here that cares and I speak for all of us...WE ARE SOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU AND VERY PROUD OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!! KEEP IT GOIN', GIRL!!!!!!!!!:sad:

Apples....Thanks so much for the sweet note. It's had me feeling a little down and I've decided I'm just going to not say anything to anyone again, if they want to know they can ask. The gals in my office give me so much support and this site here is great. I come here nearly every evening and read, I just don't post much. Thanks again, you're such a sweet dear person. :cursing: You made me smile.

[pj_txlady 0]

Hi everyone!

Greetings from Charleston! What an amazing town! It was sad to leave my family in NC, especially my sis. But she is doing great! She even attended her support group meeting last night, just 6 days after surgery! All the girls went (my mom, me, sis and her daughter). She was so proud of herself for going and everyone was shocked and pleased to see her there.

I am down 3 lbs while on vacation! We went to Carowinds (a large amusement park) and walked in the hot sun for 4 hours! What a great exercise day! I am trying to make good choices and definitely not eating large amounts. For example, I was DYING for oysters. I ordered a salad.. that they added 6 fried oysters. Normally I would not eat fried, but I had no other carbs... and I figured they would be less likely to get stuck then steamed. I ended up only eating 4 of them (they were large)... and a bit of salad.. mostly the veggies. DH had ordered a cup of gumbo and I had a few spoonfulls. And he had Jambalaya and I had a few bites of that as well.. just to taste. When we are out at restaurants I am ordering an unsweetened iced tea. Although I only have a few sips. It's only at restaurants, I never drink while eating when at home.

Tomorrow will be another busy day of walking and site seeing... before DH is in his conference stuff on Thursday.

ok guys... more later! peasout!

PS. PJ~ regarding the muscle milk. Make sure you get the Muscle Milk LIGHT. It's 160 cal and 20 gms of prot. (The regular one is 230 cal and then only 25 grms of Protein.) It is a Pepsi product and they sell it at most convenience stores now. They also have them at the local grocery stores. My Walmart does NOT carry them. Sam's had the regular ones, but not the light. I know you can order them online. Hope that helps.

Thanks Laura, I'm anxious to try it. Do you like it better than Slim Fast Low Carb?

[Apples2 19]

Apples....Thanks so much for the sweet note. It's had me feeling a little down and I've decided I'm just going to not say anything to anyone again, if they want to know they can ask. The gals in my office give me so much support and this site here is great. I come here nearly every evening and read, I just don't post much. Thanks again, you're such a sweet dear person. :cursing: You made me smile.

AWWWWW:tt1:

[ljv52 2]

Hi everyone, just a quick note to check in. Doing fine here. Doodles, congrats on your Onederland and BeckyinTexas, you are soooooo AWESOME! Congratulations and I'm so impressed at how hard you've worked and how successful you've been. I cannot imagine how tough these 4 years have been for you. Everytime I think about whining about eating right and exercise, I will think of you and it will get me through. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Wow. Laura, so happy to hear your sister is doing so well and glad you and your family are now having some fun!! Enjoy! Went to my support group tonight and a medical doctor who is also an acupuncturist gave a talk. It was very interesting. Have any of you ever had acupuncture? I have some issues with my leg and back and if my insurance will cover it I'd like to try acupuncture for some pain control, so

[ljv52 2]

Don't know how that posted, I never clicked the post button. I guess I'm done anyway, just wanted to say a quick hello. Apples, have fun at the lake. Have a good Hump Day everyone! Linda

[Charlene K 1]

Apples, thanks!

[Great2BThin 5]

Apples....Thanks so much for the sweet note. It's had me feeling a little down and I've decided I'm just going to not say anything to anyone again, if they want to know they can ask. The gals in my office give me so much support and this site here is great. I come here nearly every evening and read, I just don't post much. Thanks again, you're such a sweet dear person. :cursing: You made me smile.

Thatta girl!! Great attitude. Come post away here more often and shout out your losses. We love cheering them on.

[doodlebug11 0]

Good Morning, guys!! Thanks to all of you for the words of encouragement!! Some times we just need a little pick-me-up! First of all, my starting wt. was 236 and that was before surgery, so I lost most of my wt. on the pre-op diet. So now that I've had the LB, the wt. loss has slowed down to maybe 1 to 2 pds. per wk. and I'm happy with that! Apple2, thank you so much for your wise words, I will keep them in mind!! I will keep coming back here to read and post and get the encouragement that I need!!

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Hi everyone, I've only been away a little while and really had to spend time reading all the new posts... Can't even remember who all to congratulate.... But congrats to all who are doing so well and hugs to those who are not.... I'm in the "are not" column today.... I was in charge of a big meal our church prepared and served for the grain elevator supper last night.. Have been planning and organizing for a while... It's now over and done and the church is now $1700 richer, but we had some problems and I didn't handle things well... I got my feelings hurt and then reacted in anger... Never a good thing.. I offended one of my dear friends in the process.... I apologized and asked her forgiveness and she gave it..... I'm glad of that..... But no one apologized to me for what they had done... It's hard with a small group like we have.. I belong to a small country church and there are just a few to do all this work... I spent a lot of time and energy organizing only to have them come behind and criticize and change things at their will when I wasn't there.... I was hurt and what they did even turned out to be the wrong thing..... We almost had trouble because of it.... But we made it and now I have the blues and just never want to be in that position again... I know that isn't the way to be, but I'm not happy with them or myself.... Only good thing is that I was too upset to want to eat that great meal we put out..... Still have an upset stomach from the worry..... Guess I just need to get busy and try to let it go...... Hope you all are having a good day and that the sun shines for you all day.... We actually have sun here today.. I might chance putting a couple flowers in pots... Maybe the snow is done for this year!!! Take care all........... Julie

[JoannMarie 0]

Apples, I love your messages about friendship - what it is and what it isn't! I think you are absolutely right. My DH has been commenting on those same doormat issues for some time, but I have resisted letting go. I think it's time to do that. Thanks, Charlene, for your wise words, too. I'm sorry for your friend, but there is nothing you can do that will change her life for her. That change has to come from her.

DD has a great saying - "What other people think of me is none of my business." I know she heard that from a friend, and it has probably been around for a while, but it was new to me, and struck a chord. Julie - give yourself a time limit to feel bad about that dinner. 1 hour, 3 hours, whatever. But when that time has passed, let it go and move on. I promise to do the same thing. We have work to do, and feeling bad about past events can become a huge problem for our future work and well being. It is the major factor in comfort eating - to be avoided!!! Do your part to make it right, but don't expect anyone else to do the same. That becomes their problem but not yours.

I hope everyone is having a good day - good choices!

[Charlene K 1]

All of you on this thread are so wise. Janet, thanks for keeping us together. To be a successful bandster we need support. Sometimes I just have to vent, and the encouragement and kind words lift me out of my"stinkin thinkin". Again, thanks!