I'm here to help...

[Great2BThin 5]

Good afternoon folks. What a gorgeous day we have outside today, in the 70's. WOOHOO!!! DH is out doing his favorite thing, working in the yard. I hate it so it works for me, and we do have one of the nicest backyards in the neighborhood if I do say so myself (and others say so too). I am just so grateful each day that I wake up to that man these days. After realizing that I could've so easily been a widow the other night, it's taught me to take nothing for granted.

Janet, thanks for the reminder on the parents. These past 2 weeks have been difficult since they've been staying with me, and for a week of that also had my grandma. However, Grandma isn't much of a problem. Mom's constant negativity is. I felt so good for the first week or so at how well I was handling it all, but must admit I broke down in the bedroom for a bit last night, it just all got to me. It's not that I don't love and care for my parents, but it's just so draining to hear so much negative from silly things like my thinning hair will never come back, to I don't load the dishwasher right, to bigger things. They sound so trivial to mention but one on top of another I just cracked last night. Am feeling much better today and she is in a better mood, that helps. I went to church this morning and kindda left it all there.

Also about the cruise. Last May I had my 1st consult with my surgeon about surgery on the 14th, left for a cruise on the 17th. I came home 6 lbs lighter. So it is possible. I tried to follow the bandster rules even though I wasn't banded yet. I ate Protein first, allowed myself one bread a day, and asked myself before a dessert if it was worthy. I took one bite, if it was awesome and great, I ate more, if not, I didn't. And I walked A LOT!! You being the super bandster, queen of the jedis, I am sure will do just fine. For me it was trade offs, was it worth it? if yes, maybe more walking was in order. Remind me of all this when I go on my cruise in May, would ya???

Apples, thanks for the bra tips, think I will wait a bit. After Christmas I got some Victoria's Secret Ipex ones on clearance and really like those as well. Will shop the clearance racks til I stabelize.

[pj_txlady 0]

Good afternoon folks. What a gorgeous day we have outside today, in the 70's. WOOHOO!!! DH is out doing his favorite thing, working in the yard. I hate it so it works for me, and we do have one of the nicest backyards in the neighborhood if I do say so myself (and others say so too). I am just so grateful each day that I wake up to that man these days. After realizing that I could've so easily been a widow the other night, it's taught me to take nothing for granted.

Janet, thanks for the reminder on the parents. These past 2 weeks have been difficult since they've been staying with me, and for a week of that also had my grandma. However, Grandma isn't much of a problem. Mom's constant negativity is. I felt so good for the first week or so at how well I was handling it all, but must admit I broke down in the bedroom for a bit last night, it just all got to me. It's not that I don't love and care for my parents, but it's just so draining to hear so much negative from silly things like my thinning hair will never come back, to I don't load the dishwasher right, to bigger things. They sound so trivial to mention but one on top of another I just cracked last night. Am feeling much better today and she is in a better mood, that helps. I went to church this morning and kindda left it all there.

Also about the cruise. Last May I had my 1st consult with my surgeon about surgery on the 14th, left for a cruise on the 17th. I came home 6 lbs lighter. So it is possible. I tried to follow the bandster rules even though I wasn't banded yet. I ate Protein first, allowed myself one bread a day, and asked myself before a dessert if it was worthy. I took one bite, if it was awesome and great, I ate more, if not, I didn't. And I walked A LOT!! You being the super bandster, queen of the jedis, I am sure will do just fine. For me it was trade offs, was it worth it? if yes, maybe more walking was in order. Remind me of all this when I go on my cruise in May, would ya???

Apples, thanks for the bra tips, think I will wait a bit. After Christmas I got some Victoria's Secret Ipex ones on clearance and really like those as well. Will shop the clearance racks til I stabelize.

Long...I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is ok. Last Thursday the Wells Fargo bank right next to my office was robbed by 2 guys with guns. Luckily no one was hurt.

Since you were talking about your parents being negative, I have a story to tell and it has had me upset all day. This morning I reached ONEDERLAND, i was so happy. My Mom spent the night last night, so I ran to tell her. The first thing out of her mouth was, you have to get rid of that half a pound, ( my weight was 199.50 ) It just made me feel so down. Later my husband told my Mom that going into a new bracket is a big deal ( he said it nicely of course ) My family just doesnt support me in ways I wish they would. Now my DS & DIL out of state does, but not the ones close to me here. lol guess I will hush now, hope you all had a good weekend and a great upcoming week.

[Apples2 19]

Long...I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is ok. Last Thursday the Wells Fargo bank right next to my office was robbed by 2 guys with guns. Luckily no one was hurt.

Since you were talking about your parents being negative, I have a story to tell and it has had me upset all day. This morning I reached ONEDERLAND, i was so happy. My Mom spent the night last night, so I ran to tell her. The first thing out of her mouth was, you have to get rid of that half a pound, ( my weight was 199.50 ) It just made me feel so down. Later my husband told my Mom that going into a new bracket is a big deal ( he said it nicely of course ) My family just doesnt support me in ways I wish they would. Now my DS & DIL out of state does, but not the ones close to me here. lol guess I will hush now, hope you all had a good weekend and a great upcoming week.

PJ...try not to be upset with your mother....your family here all understand your joy and excitement of hitting Onederland. We all work so hard to reach our mini goals and then our end goals. If only "they" would just say what we want to hear. We get so wrapped up in obtaining our goals and it means EVERYTHING TO US. When there are negative comments from the ones we love it can bring on a crushing blow. I know exactly where you are coming from on it and Long also.

A little story...I have two really great boys...25 and 28. My oldest works with us so he sees me almost every day and has been on this journey with me every step of the way. He had never once said anything about my weight loss. We would have discussions about band surgery, types of food that I would eat, etc. But never once said a word until about a month ago when I did a b/4 and after photo and left it sit out on my desk. The day he looked at it all he said was "Mom, I just never realized you were that heavy until I just now saw your picture". Then good ole' DH starts in on him saying how he should tell me how good I look now....not necessary.

We had not seen our youngest (who lives in Atlanta) for about 6 months. He didn't even bat an eye. Just gave me a hug and a kiss just like normal and never did say anything the entire week we were with him. I guess the way my boys see it is that I'm Mom to them and that's it.

Now, when we went and had Christmas with DH's family and not ONE of them said anything about my weight loss it upset me. My boys could get away with it but not them. LOL. They had not seen me in an entire year and did not say a WORD. I didn't know if I felt bad or if I was relieved.

[pj_txlady 0]

PJ...try not to be upset with your mother....your family here all understand your joy and excitement of hitting Onederland. We all work so hard to reach our mini goals and then our end goals. If only "they" would just say what we want to hear. We get so wrapped up in obtaining our goals and it means EVERYTHING TO US. When there are negative comments from the ones we love it can bring on a crushing blow. I know exactly where you are coming from on it and Long also.

A little story...I have two really great boys...25 and 28. My oldest works with us so he sees me almost every day and has been on this journey with me every step of the way. He had never once said anything about my weight loss. We would have discussions about band surgery, types of food that I would eat, etc. But never once said a word until about a month ago when I did a b/4 and after photo and left it sit out on my desk. The day he looked at it all he said was "Mom, I just never realized you were that heavy until I just now saw your picture". Then good ole' DH starts in on him saying how he should tell me how good I look now....not necessary.

We had not seen our youngest (who lives in Atlanta) for about 6 months. He didn't even bat an eye. Just gave me a hug and a kiss just like normal and never did say anything the entire week we were with him. I guess the way my boys see it is that I'm Mom to them and that's it.

Now, when we went and had Christmas with DH's family and not ONE of them said anything about my weight loss it upset me. My boys could get away with it but not them. LOL. They had not seen me in an entire year and did not say a WORD. I didn't know if I felt bad or if I was relieved.

Thanks Apples, I was beginning to think I'm the only one that happens to. Now my co-workers are great. Constantly praising me, telling me how nice I look. It just hurts that the DS and DIL that I see twice a week doesnt comment at all. Maybe I will leave out a before and now picture and see if he reacts to it.

Thanks for all the support here, you are all such great help. Its so nice to have everyone here to talk to.

Pj

[Apples2 19]

Thanks Apples, I was beginning to think I'm the only one that happens to. Now my co-workers are great. Constantly praising me, telling me how nice I look. It just hurts that the DS and DIL that I see twice a week doesnt comment at all. Maybe I will leave out a before and now picture and see if he reacts to it.

Thanks for all the support here, you are all such great help. Its so nice to have everyone here to talk to.

Pj

Not a problem, PJ....we are all here for one reason...because we NEED each other!

[Great2BThin 5]

Long...I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is ok. Last Thursday the Wells Fargo bank right next to my office was robbed by 2 guys with guns. Luckily no one was hurt.

Since you were talking about your parents being negative, I have a story to tell and it has had me upset all day. This morning I reached ONEDERLAND, i was so happy. My Mom spent the night last night, so I ran to tell her. The first thing out of her mouth was, you have to get rid of that half a pound, ( my weight was 199.50 ) It just made me feel so down. Later my husband told my Mom that going into a new bracket is a big deal ( he said it nicely of course ) My family just doesnt support me in ways I wish they would. Now my DS & DIL out of state does, but not the ones close to me here. lol guess I will hush now, hope you all had a good weekend and a great upcoming week.

PJ, I can so relate to that. Tonight my MIL was here as well as my mom. My MIL commented on my weight loss and how well I was doing and my mom said it must be easy because I really haven't changed my eating habits and how was I going to learn to keep it off?? GRRRRR I looked at her and said huh? I've changed my eating habits a lot. I have had a few extras the past 2 weeks she's been here, but those extras are like 3 or 4 chips not a whole bag, ONE dessert, etc. I mentioned how I still get my McNuggets once a week and that's when she said that. I said I used to get a supersized meal several times a week, now I get 4 or 6 nuggets once a week as my planned treat. She said, yeah but if you still eat those you won't keep it off once you get there. Just totally blew the wind out of my sails. I felt so guilty and horrible that I've allowed myself the indulgence occassionally. I don't know how she can say stuff like that when she can't argue with the 113 lbs I've lost in 9 mos!!! Have I been perfect? NO!! but I think the results speak for themselves. I've been totaly on program more than off, besides they told me in my nutrition class we were allowed 10% off plan once a week.

Apples, my son doesn't say much either. My daughter does but not my son. Must be guys.

[Charlene K 1]

Not a problem, PJ....we are all here for one reason...because we NEED each other!

Amen, Apples! PJ.........we are proud of you! I get props from my kids and those that have worried about my health for years. But I guess it is weird.......there is always that one person that we want validation from and they have too much pride to give it or they just don't think it is important to us.

[phyllser 3]

Long...I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is ok. Last Thursday the Wells Fargo bank right next to my office was robbed by 2 guys with guns. Luckily no one was hurt.

Since you were talking about your parents being negative, I have a story to tell and it has had me upset all day. This morning I reached ONEDERLAND, i was so happy. My Mom spent the night last night, so I ran to tell her. The first thing out of her mouth was, you have to get rid of that half a pound, ( my weight was 199.50 ) It just made me feel so down. Later my husband told my Mom that going into a new bracket is a big deal ( he said it nicely of course ) My family just doesnt support me in ways I wish they would. Now my DS & DIL out of state does, but not the ones close to me here. lol guess I will hush now, hope you all had a good weekend and a great upcoming week.

I'm so sorry that you don't have better support. I complain sometimes about comments people make about my legs (thighs that look like they've been deflated), but honestly... I get a LOT of kudos from so many people here in our RV park and it is a real blessing to get all that support and encouragement. I wish that for ALL of you! And, that's another reason to be HERE on LBT.... to provide that for each other! It's so important... some of the energy that keeps us all going!

And my family is great, too!

My 86 yr old Mom sent me a card and a check for $100 when I reached the -100 lb mark.

And my sisters sent me stuff, too... one sent me a Red Hat shirt and Red Hat watch!

Edited March 16, 2009 by phyllser

[IndioGirl55 32]

Thanks for all your support IndioGirl55...your Awesome!

You are Welcome Mobo - and Thanks - This thread is for support and all of you help me just as much as I help you..

Security will think you are nuts for bringing your own popcorn, of course!

Never been to outlet shops on Charleston. Will have to check out on the internet b/4 I leave and swing by them. I'm kind of set and closets are full so really don't know what I need but can always look. I am even set for the 5 weddings we have this summer. Found a few beautiful dresses and shoes.

The problem I have is that I TRY not to overpack but I

ALWAYS do. I will be in Vegas for six nights (away from home for total of 8 cuz staying with a friend in Mpls when I fly out and come back) and I think I have 12 outfits packed....RIDICULOUS!!!! What to do?????????? Pack more is my answer!

I love the Peach Tea, Rasp. Tea, Kiwi strawberry that is Vitamin Enhanced (blue box and clear color when mixed). My DH drinks the same as I do and that last one is his favorite. Just carry one of those little umbrellas, go to the buffet table and get a toothpick, put some fruit on it and put both in drink. You'll be foo-fooing all vacation for a lot less calories.

Apples - I got the fruit punch when at Target today and I have grape - I'll take those and keep them with me & the umbrella - Love it !!! I guess I'll have to change to Rum for the cruise - Rum Punch :)

Well, GF I made one of your dinners tonite - Saw this receipt for Turkey/Spinach Maconni (was going to post it last week but never got to - I have it at work will do it in the morning) Well I don't have the recepit here but knew the general idea so here's what I did..

Ground turkey (italian seasoned) onion bell pepper garlic - fried it up then added some spinach then a little spagh sauce then a little lf ricotta cheese - lf mozzrella - then stuffed the tubes (the meat mixture was great tasting on it's own for a meal) then added the rest of the spagh sauce topped with a little cheese and baked - Guesstimate here but most likely 2 for about 400 max and I think I will be full on 2... I haven't eaten them yet - but like I said the meat mixture was divine.. I got 4 bras at JC penny's - I like them it's their brand A something - demi cups with a little push up - widish on the side so not too much back skin hanging (no longer fat but excess sink now) $30 each - but they had a sale buy 1 reg price get the 2nd for $15..

Got 2 tops at Macy's and a pair of black skimmers (levi brand and a shrug - Reg Price would have been $207 Sale price $138.99 -20% coupon brought it to $112.79 then I had another $52 coupon from them - so my Total $69.00 !!!

I hear ya on packing -- 4 days at sea (2 outfits - day and night) so there 8 right there - 3 days in port so that's 1 for in port - 1 for back on ship and then 1 for dinner so theres 6 more outfits - so theres 17 outfits I am going to need :eek: minimum - cuz you never know what you may feel like wearing - I know that the last time I went (Feb 07) I had maybe 3 extra outfits I didn't wear..

Hell, I didn't need those 2 tops and shrug today - but they are darling... I wanted them - I am proud of myself for showing restriant on the stuff I didn't buy - Didn't love them - so said NO!!!.

Good afternoon folks. What a gorgeous day we have outside today, in the 70's. WOOHOO!!! DH is out doing his favorite thing, working in the yard. I hate it so it works for me, and we do have one of the nicest backyards in the neighborhood if I do say so myself (and others say so too). I am just so grateful each day that I wake up to that man these days. After realizing that I could've so easily been a widow the other night, it's taught me to take nothing for granted.

Janet, thanks for the reminder on the parents. These past 2 weeks have been difficult since they've been staying with me, and for a week of that also had my grandma. However, Grandma isn't much of a problem. Mom's constant negativity is. I felt so good for the first week or so at how well I was handling it all, but must admit I broke down in the bedroom for a bit last night, it just all got to me. It's not that I don't love and care for my parents, but it's just so draining to hear so much negative from silly things like my thinning hair will never come back, to I don't load the dishwasher right, to bigger things. They sound so trivial to mention but one on top of another I just cracked last night. Am feeling much better today and she is in a better mood, that helps. I went to church this morning and kindda left it all there.

Also about the cruise. Last May I had my 1st consult with my surgeon about surgery on the 14th, left for a cruise on the 17th. I came home 6 lbs lighter. So it is possible. I tried to follow the bandster rules even though I wasn't banded yet. I ate Protein first, allowed myself one bread a day, and asked myself before a dessert if it was worthy. I took one bite, if it was awesome and great, I ate more, if not, I didn't. And I walked A LOT!! You being the super bandster, queen of the jedis, I am sure will do just fine. For me it was trade offs, was it worth it? if yes, maybe more walking was in order. Remind me of all this when I go on my cruise in May, would ya???

Apples, thanks for the bra tips, think I will wait a bit. After Christmas I got some Victoria's Secret Ipex ones on clearance and really like those as well. Will shop the clearance racks til I stabelize.

Oh Charlene -Hugs - sorry your Mom is such a downer - I guess cuz I don't have them - I think they would be posititive - Well I know my Dad would have been - My Mom - Well - I really can't say - but I bet she would have been negative too and ya I gotta say I don't miss that !!! I even said that to my Aunt once when she was bugging me about my weight - I say there is one positive about not having parents no one to bitch at you"

But you know how it is - once someone dies - they become saints even when they were the devil on earth when they were here... :tt2:

Long...I'm so happy to hear that your hubby is ok. Last Thursday the Wells Fargo bank right next to my office was robbed by 2 guys with guns. Luckily no one was hurt.

Since you were talking about your parents being negative, I have a story to tell and it has had me upset all day. This morning I reached ONEDERLAND, i was so happy. My Mom spent the night last night, so I ran to tell her. The first thing out of her mouth was, you have to get rid of that half a pound, ( my weight was 199.50 ) It just made me feel so down. Later my husband told my Mom that going into a new bracket is a big deal ( he said it nicely of course ) My family just doesnt support me in ways I wish they would. Now my DS & DIL out of state does, but not the ones close to me here. lol guess I will hush now, hope you all had a good weekend and a great upcoming week.

PJ - CONGRATULATIONS FOR ONEDERLAND

You mom wasnt' nice with that comment.. But again she doesn't understand - like we do !!! And like I told you that day we had Breakfast - My GS never said a thing about my weight loss either - still really hasn't unless I prod him - I look at it this way - He loved me for who I am not what I looked like.

Ok gang I was going to say more - but the site should be going down in about 5 minutes so I better post before I lose this...

Love & Hugs to all my peeps - ttyl - xoxoxo Janet

[wiredshut 0]

Good Morning! Hi Everyone! I've been reading the messages here and on other forums about the kinds of support we do and don't get and it really got to me. On the one hand I have people in my life who are rooting me on and then some of those same people are the first to criticize. It's absolutely schizophrenic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for our mothers, I have my own theory about parents and their same sex children. And boy, is this only a theory!!!!!! I think for many of them, the same sex child is their second chance. What they criticize in us may be what they criticize in themselves or maybe they are looking for the perfection they wanted in themselves and they now want to see it in their children. I know this sounds absolutely convoluted, but who knows?

I guess what I'm really saying is, truth be told, we're not going to change them, no way, now how. Although we want to, it's not going to happen. What we can change is ourselves. We can learn to have faith that what we're doing is "right on" and be proud of each step we take. We can learn to listen to our friends who are actually on this journey with us and who really care, those with no hidden agendas.

Yes, we need support and we need praise from others, but my personal goal is to be proud of myself first. Boy, would that be great? To look in the mirror and see who I really am and be proud of who's looking back.

As for those who criticize what we eat: Hmmmph!!! Civilians, as weight watchers used to say, eat everything. They eat in moderation. They know when they're full. They exercise and they have their lives in control. One of my best friends has desert with EVERY meal. She was brought up on a farm and they had 3 good solid meals a day, with desert, and that was it! She still lives like that today and she's not overweight in the least. One small order of chicken McNuggets didn't put all the weight on. A couple of treats a week isn't what did it.

By the way, I "cracked" a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't take the constant criticism. If one more negative thing was said to me, I was going to slit my wrists! I cried and cried and felt absolutely miserable and then when I hit rock bottom, I realized that it was up to me to walk away when I was being talked to like that, to stand up for myself when I was being attacked and to stop "giving" to everyone else, when I wasn't getting enough for myself.

food couldn't be my only source of nurturing! I might not know what will nurture me yet, but I know it's not going to be food and the first thing I have to do is walk away from the toxic words around me. "See you later. I'll be back later. I'm walking away. Treat me nicely." I have to be the one who demands it.

Have I learned this great lesson? Not fully. I think there will always be the child in me looking for my parents' approval, especially now that they live with me. But I sure am trying hard to remember that "I'm OK."

I love you all.

Ellen

[IndioGirl55 32]

Great Post Ellen !!!!! It's sure good to have you back !!!

Good morning Gang - I tried to get on when I first got to work but the site was still down...

Just wanted to ck in - Will ck back later

Hugs....

[Great2BThin 5]

Good afternoon. Great thoughts Ellen. I've thought that about our same sex children after seeing how DH reacts to our son and I react to our daughter. My mom's visit has opened my eyes to be especially careful with my own kids. Speaking of mom she left this morning! They will be back in a month for Grandma's 100th bday celebration so I have a little time to regroup.

[Apples2 19]

Hey kids! Hope everyone had a good day. Busy one here and didn't post once today. Just got caught up on my other threads and read the posts here.

Sounds like your dinner turned out to be a good one, Janet. As you know, I love trying new recipes and as of 17 months ago I have revamped almost everything I cook to be heart healthy and low in sugar. Today I made a creamed chicken and potatoes dish. Started with four chix breasts and boiled. Used stock from chix, cut up breasts, celery (cooked with chix), frozen peas, 2 TBLS Molly McButter, pepper, 1 TBLS minced garlic and 2 cups FF sour cream. Simmered all for about an hours (stirring frequently). My guys thought it was great. For dessert was LF vanilla yogurt, 8 oz. 1/3 fat cream cheese (room temp). Mix together and add 2 cups fresh blackberries. I always serve Desserts in my ramkins. Just the right size.

OK...so I don't feel bad for what I have packed after hearing what is on YOUR list!!! Guess I better go add some more clothes to the suitcase.

Long you are correct in your thinking about checking yourself and how you deal with your children. I try to keep in mind how I would have liked to be talked to by my parents when I was an adult. I try to respect my sons and treat them as adults. Not easy to do sometimes by us mothers.

[wiredshut 0]

Apples, thanks for the recipe. Guess what I'm making for dinner tomorrow night? And the ramekin idea is great!

Have a nice night.

Love,

Ellen

[phyllser 3]

Happy St. Pat's Day!!!!