I'm here to help...

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Janet, I totally empathize with your feelings about responsibilty in your family... We must be going through similar things.. I have 3 brothers, but seem to be almost totally responsible for my mother and for keeping the peace between all of them.. We have issues over a Trust that my father made before his passing.. I get so tired of being the go-between.... I'm working on a plan to try to heal things right now.. We have a "farm" to make decisions about.. Not fun... Anyway, I told someone once that I was so stressed out from all this that the fact that I haven't gained weight and have actually lost 78 pounds is a freaking miracle..... I'm an emotional eater since the age of 5........ So, hang in.... it has to get better, right??!!!! Julie

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang...

I am in a better mood today - but heck it's Friday and I love Fridays - no work for 2 days !!!!

Thanks for the offer Rose - it's just dealing with family and stuff has been said (mean/greed) and I just am pissed about it and can't seem to let go like I should - And again - I hate doing all this - it's just one more thing I have to do and for me I have always taken care of others and feel that it's now about me - and sorta resent always being the responsible one - gosh I wish I could be irresponsible sometimes like everyone else in my family is - I am the one left to pick up the pieces..

But it is what it is - so buck up Janet and deal with it

Ok just my morning ck in - Will CBL

__________________

Janet, I can relate. Both of my in-laws passed within two months of each other, and I did the caregiving while my DH handled the finances and their wills. Needless to say, his bro did not speak to us for about a year. The siblings didn't want the responsibilities of their parents, but wanted the spoils ASAP after they were gone. So sad. Grief takes on so many emotions. Hang in there! You are doing the right thing. Take your time and take care of yourself. LOVE and HUGS are going your way from your LBT peeps.

Thanks Charlene !!!!

Janet, I totally empathize with your feelings about responsibilty in your family... We must be going through similar things.. I have 3 brothers, but seem to be almost totally responsible for my mother and for keeping the peace between all of them.. We have issues over a Trust that my father made before his passing.. I get so tired of being the go-between.... I'm working on a plan to try to heal things right now.. We have a "farm" to make decisions about.. Not fun... Anyway, I told someone once that I was so stressed out from all this that the fact that I haven't gained weight and have actually lost 78 pounds is a freaking miracle..... I'm an emotional eater since the age of 5........ So, hang in.... it has to get better, right??!!!! Julie

Yep Julie - My parents die within 1 month of each other we had trust we inherited Date Ranches that was 17 yrs ago this yr and the $$$ is about to run out and due to the economy doesn't look like we will selling any ranches in the near future and I was trying to make the $$$ streach as long as I could for my bro as he didn't work - and in his head he thought is was Howard Huges Rich !!! My Stepbro thinks I am controling his destiny (to be homeless) - I think it's just our cross to bear and that their is a lesson to be learned in all this.. Well, some pple never learn even if it smacks them in the face...

All my affairs are in order - trust - will - living will - etc - but I bet there still will be issues between my Son & GS (gd's are still to young) when I go...

[sharons 0]

Hi Ladies ~ Just cking in. I haven't read the posts, but I get a sense it is about how many of us take care of others and neglect ourselves. I certainly can speak to that issue on many levels. In fact, I've done so much of this in my lifetime that food became my comfort - since I couldn't seem to get my needs met, because I was so busy taking care of others. However, in the last year or so something just snapped and I am more into myself than I have ever been in my life. By the grace of God both of my parents are still alive and doing reasonably well...health wise and financially. I plan to visit my Mom in March for about a week, but right now that is the extent of what she needs from me - time and recognition that I care. Dad is probably healthier than I am at this point and we talk weekly. Kids, well they are another story - but I've learned to push back and not take on any issues that they should be resolving for themselves.:tt2:

I've been a little hesitant in posting, because I use this forum as a means for keeping me on track - which means there has to be some honesty. The truth is I have not been very good this week in terms of food. The old habits seem to be creeping back in. I'm able to eat real food and so far eat what I want without any problems. I still stay away from the starches and try to keep my portions small, but I've been sneaking :thumbup: more sweets than I did initially e.g. chocolate. I even bought some Cookies last night and a candy bar. I didn't like the cookies so didn't finish them off, but the candy bar - well let's say I gobbled that up so quickly, I actually considered going out and buying another - I didn't but I thought about it. I guess this is when you know it's about time for a fill, which won't happen until March 11th at the earliest. In the meantime, I'm having problems getting my mind off of thought that I'm depriving myself and then acting out by eating the things I miss so much like juice, chocolate and baked goods.

I have simply fallen and can't seem to get up. I need some help!:smile:

[Charlene K 1]

I have found that most obese people are caregivers. They neglect themselves and turn to food for comfort until it becomes a health issue. We all need support through banding. It is only a tool as you have been told. I have bad days too especially around holidays or family dramas. I go to a personal trainer at church. She recommended Myoplex Lite bars for a Meal Replacement. It is so good and has 15g of Protein. They are sweet. Also surgar free pudding is a good snack. Janet is a wealth of info and she will get you on the right track.

[Great2BThin 5]

First off, want to say a Happy Belated Birthday to Rose!!! Hope it was a good one!

Secondly, welcome to Mrs Bubba and Kristen.

Kristen, sorry I'm not much help on the pain issues, I really had very little pain, just felt like I did 1000 situps. It did hurt lying down and getting up from bed a few days, what helped is my husband held his arm out really tight and I grabbed on and he slowly raised me up.

Talking about caregivers, my life is about to change dramatically. My 99 yr old grandma (100 on May 1st) is moving to town and an assisted living type place about 8 miles from me. She will be in the independent care wing. But my mom is not moving with her so a lot of the responsibilities are going to fall on my sisters and I. We tried divving up the responsibilities but I feel I got the biggies. I am in charge of her prescriptions and banking and am also the one that is home most of the day since I get off work at 830 to do a lot of the running. We don't have to do tons of care right now but that is going to change I am sure. My other sisters are going to visit and took things like turning her phone on and other one time jobs. We shall see how it goes. I pick up her key a week from today and she is staying with me starting on the 4th until her furniture arrives the next week.

[Charlene K 1]

Wow, Long, your hands are going to be full. Don't turn to food for stress relief. I took care of my aunt in assised living. She would tell the caregivers that they didn't need to bathe her. So, I would get there in the afternoon and have to bathe her. It is a huge undertaking. You have to make sure she is getting what she is paying for. Feel free to unload on us instead of eating carbs. We are here for you!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Ok Sharon - It's butt kicking time :mad2::sneaky:

First of all - I want you to stop eating as if you are on a diet - I really really don't want you to be on a diet - I want you to get healthy !!!!! That is how you have to approach this - your band is a lifetime tool - Lifestyle change is the key term that you have heard in all the "diet programs" out there...

Our band is the tool that we need to help us make this change... Sweets/Straches are all our downfalls - who wants to pig out on celery and carrots..

I forget - do you have an adversion to the surgar free foods? I know it takes awhile to get a taste for them at first it's hard - I drank reg coke back in the day - then when I joined WW started drinking the sf shasta grapefruit soda - and after a while you do get a taste for it -

I keep sf dark choc puddings & healthy choice fudgecicles for the days that I want choc - and Protein Bars too the pure Protein choc bar in the fridge are great and southbeach has a good choc/peanut butter - & cinimon carmel one too.

Treats are allowable (when I stay treats I mean real sugar) but only like once a month. But the sf kind you can have every day so that you don't feel deprived. Heck in my weight lost phase I ususally had 2 sf pudding and a sf fudgecicle every night...

Also, like my cream gravy story earlier - did you really go thru major frickin surgery to continue to eat the way you did prior to being banded...

The more sugar you eat the more you crave - well that's how it is for me - it hard to stop at just 2 cookie - I want 10 - heck I bought some sf wafers a while back - they were great really sweet - but I was eating to many of them and anything in excess is bad - so in the trash they went - better in thee than in me....

Sharon - You are going to be in banster hell till you get your first fill and even then you might not get restriction - but gotta tell you GF even when you do get to your sweet spot - your band is not going to stop you from eating 5 candy bars - a 1/2 gallon of ice cream - or 10 Cookies - 5 pieces of cake - all these food slip right thru - the only thing the band really works on his the harder foods - so be forwarned.

I look at those candy bars evertime I am in the check out line too - oh they look good - oh I want to buy them - but I jsut don't if they aren't in the house then you can't eat them.

I usually saved my treat days for when I went to parties or other pples homes for whatever - then I would have a little of whatever and didn't have to bring it in the house - cuz if it's in my house I will eat it..

Remember it's not that one piece of cake that made us fat but its cuz we ate the whole damn cake one piece at a time..

Ok - now what are you going to do - you are going to pick one day a month for a real treat (one treat not treats all day long :0)) and in the meantime you are going to eat sf treats daily - you are not going to buy the cookies or candy bars - just don't look at them -what I do is say to myself - I don't need that choc as I already have choc in my basket (sf dark choc pudding & fudgecicles).

I want you to keep posting too - imho I find that those who start then quit it's cuz they have fallen off the band wagon - it's not always true - but I think for the most part it is - it helps to be accountable...

We are not going to tear you apart - we are going to give you tough band love - with the opertive word being love - Ok...

We all want those sweets - we do - I still do to this day and most likely will for the rest of my life - food is our addiction and it's always going to be with us - we just have to find ways to beat it.

Again did you have major surgery to continue to eat poorly.. Nope - you had major surgery cuz you wanted to get healthy - and eating those sweets is not getting healty - your are depriving yourself that... Think of it that way - that you are depriving yourself of health each time you reach for the candy or cookies...

You can do this GF - you really can - it's work - but omw you are so worth the work -

[Apples2 19]

Boy Janet.....you can really kick some major A$$! RUN, GIRLS, RUN!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. That's why we love you! You don't mince words and I know we all take it to heart and listen when you talk. It's a good thing I behave....you might make me cry!!!!!!! Just kidding...we do really appreciate your words of wisdom and I commend you for the time you take to help others....you are truly an amazing lady.

Got home late on Monday night. Laundry done and mail and gone through and bookkeeping done. Then yesterday took off again for an over night with a good friend to a casino. Had a blast. Drive home was hairy. Took about 3 hours for a 1.5 hour trip. Worried about DH and DS. They set our for home from trip south of us. Their usually 7 hour drive will be considerably more. We already have at least 3 inches of messy snow on the roads.

Welcome Mrs. Bubba and Kristen.

Sorry you are having a tough time of it, Kristin. Try to keep moving. I am 53 yrs old and did not lay down after surgery during the day AT ALL. Not a lecture just want to help. You will get stronger every day and do better if you are more active. Go out for a short walk, sit in the tub without getting your incisions wet, just keep moving. Let us know how you are doing today. We want to know. (Hugs).

Mrs. Bubba...where in ND are you from. I'm close to the MN/ND boarder. Welcome to the group.

I had posted this on the June, 2008 thread and would like to throw this idea out to you girls. The National Lap Band

Conference is tentatively set for Oct 2009 in Vegas. Wouldn't it be fun if we could all make it????????????????????

[Apples2 19]

Oh Charlene.......changed my avatar the other day. Now I notice that it's the same as yours. Sorry, girl. I will change it to something else. (I want to be just like Charlene!!!)

[ichthyology 0]

My problem today is that I have no energy. All I want to do is sleep. I took a short walk this morning and only lasted 15 minutes. Came home and slept another 5 hours....

It seems that yesterday I so much more energy. Today, no energy what-so-ever.

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Sharon, I'm kind of where you are right now.. I'm stuck at my current weight and haven't moved in days.. I'm craving things I shouldn't eat, and then scouring the cupboards for something I can... But that's not good either if you do too much... I don't really have any candy in the house, but if I did I'd be in trouble.....

Janet, I read everything you said to her and I know that is the right thing.. I don't do much sugar free... I feel all the aspartame and splenda are as bad for you as the sugar.. I try to limit my sugar intake to very little and my sf intake as well.. I do use Crystal Light for my drinking... I hate drinking Water, but try to get some in... The other helps me get what I need... Anyway, it's very hard to stop yourself when you get on an eating track... I've had my calories for the day and it's only 4:20 pm!!!! what do I do the rest of the day/!! Suffer I guess.... Of course I'll probably have to have something... Hopefully my husband won't be in a big snacking mood tonight.. That never helps me....

[IndioGirl55 32]

First off, want to say a Happy Belated Birthday to Rose!!! Hope it was a good one!

Secondly, welcome to Mrs Bubba and Kristen.

Kristen, sorry I'm not much help on the pain issues, I really had very little pain, just felt like I did 1000 situps. It did hurt lying down and getting up from bed a few days, what helped is my husband held his arm out really tight and I grabbed on and he slowly raised me up.

Talking about caregivers, my life is about to change dramatically. My 99 yr old grandma (100 on May 1st) is moving to town and an assisted living type place about 8 miles from me. She will be in the independent care wing. But my mom is not moving with her so a lot of the responsibilities are going to fall on my sisters and I. We tried divving up the responsibilities but I feel I got the biggies. I am in charge of her prescriptions and banking and am also the one that is home most of the day since I get off work at 830 to do a lot of the running. We don't have to do tons of care right now but that is going to change I am sure. My other sisters are going to visit and took things like turning her phone on and other one time jobs. We shall see how it goes. I pick up her key a week from today and she is staying with me starting on the 4th until her furniture arrives the next week.

Hugs Long - I took care of my Parents so I know - Like Charlene says - We are here for you girl - Always - This is going to be a challenge - but you know what I was alway so glad that I could be there for my parents - I guess I love giving back when they gave me so much...

Boy Janet.....you can really kick some major A$$! RUN, GIRLS, RUN!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. That's why we love you! You don't mince words and I know we all take it to heart and listen when you talk. It's a good thing I behave....you might make me cry!!!!!!! Just kidding...we do really appreciate your words of wisdom and I commend you for the time you take to help others....you are truly an amazing lady.

Got home late on Monday night. Laundry done and mail and gone through and bookkeeping done. Then yesterday took off again for an over night with a good friend to a casino. Had a blast. Drive home was hairy. Took about 3 hours for a 1.5 hour trip. Worried about DH and DS. They set our for home from trip south of us. Their usually 7 hour drive will be considerably more. We already have at least 3 inches of messy snow on the roads.

Welcome Mrs. Bubba and Kristen.

Sorry you are having a tough time of it, Kristin. Try to keep moving. I am 53 yrs old and did not lay down after surgery during the day AT ALL. Not a lecture just want to help. You will get stronger every day and do better if you are more active. Go out for a short walk, sit in the tub without getting your incisions wet, just keep moving. Let us know how you are doing today. We want to know. (Hugs).

Mrs. Bubba...where in ND are you from. I'm close to the MN/ND boarder. Welcome to the group.

I had posted this on the June, 2008 thread and would like to throw this idea out to you girls. The National Lap Band

Conference is tentatively set for Oct 2009 in Vegas. Wouldn't it be fun if we could all make it????????????????????

Apples - LMAO you really don't strike me a the kind of woman who would cry easily :sneaky: I think you are way tougher than me and can dole out the advice just as well as me .. But thanks for the props...

I know they are having one (LBC) in NY in March - didn't know about Vegas - Ya thaat would be real great -

Going to put you in charge of keeping us posted on that one ok...

My problem today is that I have no energy. All I want to do is sleep. I took a short walk this morning and only lasted 15 minutes. Came home and slept another 5 hours....

It seems that yesterday I so much more energy. Today, no energy what-so-ever.

Ich - That means your body needs it - yesterday you were still on those meds - your body is healing - just rest - your body will let you know what it needs - but are you getting all of your fulids in... That's important for your energy and how's your portein - what's your post op diet...

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

Apples2, I'm from a small town 36 miles north of Bismarck...Washburn.. It's a nice little community and my husband and I have a very good life here.

I'm a retired accountant and business owner. Most recently I owned and operated a fitness center!!!! It's a long story and I'll share it one day... Anyway, my husband is retired, too.. We do daycare for our little 22 month old granddaughter 5 days a week... We love that... Right now we are really hoping the stock market comes around before we run out of money!!!! Being retired is easy to get used to!!!! Don't care to go back to regular work ever again..

I see a lot of you gals have already lost to your goal or at least 100 + pounds.. How long did it take you to do that??? My first 78 went pretty fast, but I can see that I am slowing down and it depresses me even though I know this is normal... I do need more exercise, but it's hard here when we can't get outside yet... We don't have inches of snow, we have "feet"!!!! It ain't going away any time soon!!!!!! I need to find some way to get out of the funk I'm in and get moving again... Thanks for listening.. You all seem so easy to talk to.. Julie

[ichthyology 0]

Post op diet is Liquid Protein for two weeks. I am allowed to have broth once a day. Since I am lactose intolerant, I mix my Bariatric Advantage (love it) Protein powder with soy milk which makes them really thick. I am tring to get more calories into me. I have no probelms getting all of the shake down as my constiction does not seem bad right now.

Ant. ( I am a fish biologist...thus ichthyology!!!).

[IndioGirl55 32]

Sharon, I'm kind of where you are right now.. I'm stuck at my current weight and haven't moved in days.. I'm craving things I shouldn't eat, and then scouring the cupboards for something I can... But that's not good either if you do too much... I don't really have any candy in the house, but if I did I'd be in trouble.....

Janet, I read everything you said to her and I know that is the right thing.. I don't do much sugar free... I feel all the aspartame and splenda are as bad for you as the sugar.. I try to limit my sugar intake to very little and my sf intake as well.. I do use Crystal Light for my drinking... I hate drinking Water, but try to get some in... The other helps me get what I need... Anyway, it's very hard to stop yourself when you get on an eating track... I've had my calories for the day and it's only 4:20 pm!!!! what do I do the rest of the day/!! Suffer I guess.... Of course I'll probably have to have something... Hopefully my husband won't be in a big snacking mood tonight.. That never helps me....

Apples2, I'm from a small town 36 miles north of Bismarck...Washburn.. It's a nice little community and my husband and I have a very good life here.

I'm a retired accountant and business owner. Most recently I owned and operated a fitness center!!!! It's a long story and I'll share it one day... Anyway, my husband is retired, too.. We do daycare for our little 22 month old granddaughter 5 days a week... We love that... Right now we are really hoping the stock market comes around before we run out of money!!!! Being retired is easy to get used to!!!! Don't care to go back to regular work ever again..

I see a lot of you gals have already lost to your goal or at least 100 + pounds.. How long did it take you to do that??? My first 78 went pretty fast, but I can see that I am slowing down and it depresses me even though I know this is normal... I do need more exercise, but it's hard here when we can't get outside yet... We don't have inches of snow, we have "feet"!!!! It ain't going away any time soon!!!!!! I need to find some way to get out of the funk I'm in and get moving again... Thanks for listening.. You all seem so easy to talk to.. Julie

Juile - Boredom and being tired are big food triggers for me...

Boredom - I get out of the house (but again I don't have snow - but I do have 110+ weather in the summer which last 4-5 months) if I can't get out - I usually get on the computer and come to LBT and post like crazy - I use to post all over the place - but lately just my lucky #7 thread, here and the 50+ thread - I also will do computer games or get on Facebook and play crossword games - parking wars etc - or go clean out my closet or drawer - You gotta find a distraction - If you owned a gym - what did you do with the fitness equipment - hope you kept some - go work out on it if you did - if you didn't go order one of those walking tapes/dvd's and walk in your house - or while watching t.v. walk in place. Distraction thats what you gotta do - do you quilt - crochet - knit...

Since you have used up your calories already - you are just going to have to find the lowest calorie foods to eat for the rest of the night... Nights are my worse - so I budget my calories accordingly - you really need to set up an eating plan and stick to it - 200 caloires bf - 100 cal mid morn snack - 200 caloires lunch - 100 cal mid afternoon snack 250-300 calories dinner and 100 cal night snack (i save my daytime Snacks for the evening that's my budget)

Another life saver for me are the 100 cal snack pack popcorn - I have them almost nightly - one piece at a time.

I started 250lbs on 7/17/07 - on 5/8/08 160lbs - on 6/26/08 150lbs on 7/24 145 - 9/20 143lbs - 10/12 140lbs - 12/10 138lbs...

Post op diet is liquid Protein for two weeks. I am allowed to have broth once a day. Since I am lactose intolerant, I mix my Bariatric Advantage (love it) Protein Powder with soy milk which makes them really thick. I am tring to get more calories into me. I have no probelms getting all of the shake down as my constiction does not seem bad right now.

Ant. ( I am a fish biologist...thus ichthyology!!!).

Ant - a fish bioligist - interesting -