Does Anyone Else Have This Problem?

[imb316 0]

Now that I am banded (12/31/07) and have lost over 70 lb's I started having this problem. I cannot help but get angry at my husband for overeating all the time. I find that I have become a policeman and detective with him as well as my kids. It is not that I think I am better than them it's just that I know how much better I feel now and I want them to feel the same way. I just get so mad when I come downstairs in the morning and see all the food my husband ate late at night. I tell him I want to help him but his response is "you have been fat all your life" and now that you had the surgery you think you can tell me what to do. It's not so much his weight but the reason I had the surgery was because I noticed that my kids were learning my bad eating habbits and I did not want them to suffer the way I did as a young child. How do I get my husband on board and stop eating junk in front of the kids. I feel that I cannot do this on my own but I cannot convince him to stop. The fact that I lost weight has made me completely INTOLERENT of his or anyone else overeating. Anyone else have this problem?

[lucy200283 0]

i completely know how you feel.. i am only newly banded but i can see that i am noticing the same thing...

my hubby is a big guy and he is planning on having the surgery as well but he is just having a hard time being supportive.. i told him in a few weeks when i start my real food again that we are ALL eating healthy but he says he wants to live out his last few months that he has like i did..

but i also gained in my last few months and i want him to have a head start at the weight loss.. and i tell him that i need his help... that i can't do it on my own... and i think he is starting to come around a lil bit.. i explain that we didn't spend all this money to have the surgery just to eat crap afterwards and i need him not to tempt me...

so don't worry i know what you are going through... hopefully if you just breakdown and tell him how hard it is to watch him eat that stuff maybe he will lay off of it a bit...

Good luck! and congrats on your weight loss!

[Pnw_Red 2]

I notice that I'm aghast at the food that I see other people eating! Not so much hubby (though there is that too) as when I'm out in public and I watch somebody down a HUGE plate of food. It's crazy!

[Hastings 3]

To be honest, your concern is YOU. It's just like smokers who quit. They become holier than thou. Think back to before you were banded and how you might have resented the behavior you are having now.

Just because you are banded doesn't mean you are done struggling. Put a little love in your heart and don't be like those people you couldn't understand before you were banded.

You should care about your children's health and weight. I would suggest that you buy the groceries and fix the meals and leave it to your husband to buy the treats he likes.

I would never let it become an issue between my partner and I. His body is his business. This is a basic idea that women have been dealing with.

[betrthnever 107]

To be honest, your concern is YOU. It's just like smokers who quit. They become holier than thou. Think back to before you were banded and how you might have resented the behavior you are having now.

Just because you are banded doesn't mean you are done struggling. Put a little love in your heart and don't be like those people you couldn't understand before you were banded.

You should care about your children's health and weight. I would suggest that you buy the groceries and fix the meals and leave it to your husband to buy the treats he likes.

I would never let it become an issue between my partner and I. His body is his business. This is a basic idea that women have been dealing with.

Well put. We each have our own path to follow. I gave up smoking and I would like my husband to give it up too and he knows it. But I won't harp on it. He has to choose to make his own changes or all you are going to do is push him away from you.

A girlfriend of mine battled cancer by becoming a vegan. She lost weight in the process too and felt much better (she only had a few pounds to lose but the transformation was amazing). It took years for her meat loving husband to come around but he did. She was patient and just concentrated on herself and ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT NO MATTER WHAT HE DECIDED TO DO SHE HAD HER OWN LIFE TO LIVE AND LOVED HIM FOR WHO HE WAS. Over time he saw how happy, healthy and energetic she was and wanted that, too. He is now down 50 pounds and has the energy and health he was missing.

As far as your children go continue to be the best role model you can be by providing healthy food and a healthy eating mentality.

I wish you patience and understanding.

[sshaw9126 0]

This has been a little bit of a problem for me as well. Although I am newly banded (5/22), I find myself asking my husband everyday what he had for lunch. He is in this with me and has lost 10 pounds in about 3 weeks. I really have to stop myself from saying anything when he tells me that he had a cheesburger for lunch. I know it is his body and, as long as he is eating right, working out and losing weight, I should not care if he has the ocassional treat for lunch.

[Shinyhappymommy 2]

I know that for me, anyone policing my eating in any way had just the opposite effect that they had intended. "Oh, I shouldn't have this brownie? Well how about these three brownies, huh?" I would rebel and get into this entitlement role of thinking I deserve certain foods.

What really helped me was my husband supporting and loving me and not saying anything about my bad food choices. I knew better. I didn't need an additional conscience telling me what to do. He was quick to compliment me when I would point out the good food choices I made, but for the most part he kept out of it. For me, this was the perfect approach.

[illion 0]

I have just the opposite problem, and I know I've got to stop doing this!! When I can't finish what's on my plate (eyes still bigger than pouch) I encourage whomever I'm with to finish it for me. Everyone at the office accuses me of not losing weight- just making everyone else gain it! *LOL*

[AppleBlossom 0]

What benefit will criticism bring? food is not more important than the beautiful people you are hurting. Congratulations though on your weight loss.