Sharing that you're having surgery

[greythope 0]

Just curious. Is anyone keeping the fact they're having the band surgery from friends, relatives, or co-workers?

I have told my mom and a couple of close friends. I am keeping it from my father because he's very judgemental and thinks people who can't keep weight off lack self control. Work is a cross between being private and feeling bad our work insurance policy doesn't cover it (I am HR benefits manager) and my insurance (husbands) covers it. They think I am having gall bladder surgery.

Anyone else doesn't need to know. Maybe once I lose a bunch of weight I will say something but right now I am not ready to do that.

Am I alone in this thinking?

[leepizz 0]

I am also not telling my relatives, only my mom, dad, of course my husband and children. I feel if my brothers know they will be very judgemental especially my younger brother who also so get a lap band. He doesn't see anything wrong with himself except for others.

At work I told my 2 closes friends so they can help me stay on track. Since I also feel it is a private matteer. I am going to tell the rest I am going out for gall bladder also. As for my friends, I told a few. I feel that I am not being honest but like you i am going to wait until I lose weight and then maybe I will tell them.

It was very hard to go to my pool club today But I am proud of myself and followed what I need to do for the diet. I didn't even have a glass of wine or Snacks, or dessert! I am very proud of myself.

PS My daughter who is 16 1/2 is also going to have the surgery done on 7/8. We are taling this journey together to get healthier. She needs this more than me. I was very surprise that my insurance is paying for this.

[Lunabeane 2]

I very rarely hide anything about my life and struggles. I feel that if people want to learn from my experiences then great...if not...so be it. My friends and family have seem me on one failed diet after another for seven years...let's hope they get Celebrate some success with me.

[Nuali 1]

I have told my husband (of course), my sister (she had gastric bypass in'99), my 11 yr old son, my mother and grandmother, and my step mother-in-law. Also, I have a dear friend that had LB surgery in 2006..she knows. These are the people that I am closest to that I can trust with such a personal thing. I will not be telling my mother-in-law (she's VERY skinny) because she is very critical and judgemental of overweight people...she suggested Weight Watchers for me when I was pregnant.

I'm sure it will all come out to her some day, but for now I just don't want her to know.

[kristiebandy 0]

I too am choosing to tell those close to me. However I wont lie. I think as we experience sucess we will feel more at ease to share what we have experienced, the hard work and commitment involved.

[Jachut 487]

I told everyone. I understand why people like to keep it private but for me personally if anyone asks how I lost so much weight I tell them. I would HATE for anyone to do what I used to do, go away feeling stupid and useless because I wasnt able to lose weight. I needed help to do it and I'm not going to pretend I didnt. I want people to know about the option and how effective it can be, not wonder how I have so much willpower and they dont. But I tell them truthfully too that I had to work hard at it, the first thing I usually say is "I took up running" because I honestly feel that's at least 50% of the equation.

[mamamarie 0]

I have told my husband (of course) my mom and step-dad, my sister and brother-in-law and my neighbor (whose a really good friend and a great supporter) I plan on telling my dad today... not sure how he will react but I'm going to tell him today! Oh yeah, I have told my boss and a co-worker. I plan on telling others that I had Gall Bladder surgery.

All others... I tell on a need-to-know basis. There is a lady here at work that had the gastro surgery done and is ANTI-BAND... never has anything good to say about the band and is forever putting it down... so the last thing I want to hear is negative feedback from her or anyone that has listened to her.

I'm just trying to figure out what to say to my co-workers about the 'liquid' and mushie diet for the weeks following surgery. Any thoughts?

[greythope 0]

I have told my husband (of course) my mom and step-dad, my sister and brother-in-law and my neighbor (whose a really good friend and a great supporter) I plan on telling my dad today... not sure how he will react but I'm going to tell him today! Oh yeah, I have told my boss and a co-worker. I plan on telling others that I had Gall Bladder surgery.

All others... I tell on a need-to-know basis. There is a lady here at work that had the gastro surgery done and is ANTI-BAND... never has anything good to say about the band and is forever putting it down... so the last thing I want to hear is negative feedback from her or anyone that has listened to her.

I'm just trying to figure out what to say to my co-workers about the 'liquid' and mushie diet for the weeks following surgery. Any thoughts?

Wow you would think one bariatric person would support another method.

I am just going to hide in my office. I doubt anyone will notice anyway. I will just put things in tupperware and go from there. I will try to eat things that look 'normal' to other people, except runnier like potatoes and yogurt. And then there is oatmeal right? Blended Soups. Anyway I am telling them I am having my gall bladder removed so I will have an excuse to be a bit off my normal schedule I think.

A reminder that I need to go through the food schedule so I know what to plan for. Luckily I made my sons baby food so I am pretty good at purees :smile2:

Another woman here had it last week. I might tell her when I get back since I feel bad since she told me and others all about it. We'll see what happens. I just hope no one gives me the 'it's cheating' attitude when I finally fess up. After all the hoops I have jumped through and all the struggles I have had with my weight and all the changes I will have to make it is hardly cheating!

[cathychatts 1]

I have told my 3 sisters, my daughter, my aunt and my boyfriend. A few of my students know (which means the world may know) and that is about it. I haven't told my son or my brothers. I also have not told any of the other instructors at my school or the office staff.

I told my boss that I had to have some "female repair" surgery. :tongue2: In my mind, I am having repair surgery. I am repairing my stomach! :biggrin2:

I thought about the "gall-bladder' but then I thought, "what if my gall-bladder goes bad, :sneaky: and I do have to have surgery on it. :crying:That can happen after lapband.

Most assume I am having a "bladder tuck" for leaking bladder. Sometimes they have to do that over. :scared2:

I will tell anyone who ask about my weight loss the truth, cause I agree with the post before, that I want to show others who struggle that their is a way. But for nosey, judgemental people... no thanks.:smile2: I will keep it to myself! :tongue:

Edited May 28, 2008 by cathychatts
spelling

[TX Diva 1]

I've told a few people at work, so I'm sure that more people on my campus know about it. My assistant principal had the gastric bypass surgery two years ago, and everyone was very supportative of her. The secretary at my school just had lap band a few weeks ago, and everyone is very encouraging to her. She kept it very hush hush until after the fact. So many teachers at my campus do Weight Watchers, Curves, South Beach, etc. that we have an encouraging environment. A couple of people I'm closer to have told me that they can't wait to see me when we come back next summer! That should be fun.

The only people I am not telling are my students. I'm not sure what I'll say to them next year when they see that their former teacher is much thinner. They do know that I'm dieting and exercising and that I've been to the doctor a lot this year, so they will probably just think that I was very diligent this summer. This class has been so good and concerned that I didn't get hardly any candy for Valentine's Day!

[Futr littl Debi 0]

I have told a couple of people at work, my kids and my sister. I wasn't planning to discuss it with my mother because she can't keep anything private. Unfortunately, she overheard me ordering Optifast over the phone for my last week. So I told her about it. Of course, she immediately told all of her friends. It's not that I am shy about the surgery - I just don't want to be the topic of their conversation. And now they are saying they will be watching me to see how I do so they can pass the word. I'm not wild about being watched.

[mamapony 0]

Well technically you are all telling several people. I have told just 1, the friend that I needed to help me for the day of and the day after surgery. No one else, not my kids, or any other friends. I just did it for me and want it to be me that succeeds without anyone keeping me under their diet monitor eye! I will lose it all and I will feel better, and I will walk away from my knee replacements with a great chance to be pain free, thinner, and healthier.

[armywife4life 0]

I have told my husband, and 1 friend here. I told my best friend back in the states and 1 sister. I told my work im doing some hernia repair. easy in easy out. After awhile i will tell more, but for now i just need to focus on me and the surgery, without others needing to know so much about my progress, sometimes i think that can add pressure, and i want to stay as low key as possible.

[greythope 0]

Darnit - why didn't I think of hernia here at work! I have back problems so they wouldn't be surprised if I had that too!

[hopefulmom25 0]

I have told my my mom, stepdad, Dad, parents-in-law, husband, and 2 best friends. That's it. Nobody else needs to know my personal business. My weight is such a sensitive subject for me.

But I wish that I could have gotten by without my husband, mom, or mother-in-law knowing. I had to tell them, because there's no way I could hide it from them really. Especially my husband. But they are the 3 least supportive people. I wish there was a way my Dad and best friend could have been the only ones to know. They are very supportive of me.

My husband is very resentful of having to take out such a large loan (I'm self-pay) when he believes (and has told me this several times) that we're having to do this because I won't do what I'm supposed to and lose the weight on my own.

My MIL is anti-fat people in general, and feels pretty much the same as my husband. That I'm just lazy and should do this on my own.

My mom is freaking out right now. Everything that could go wrong and even things that couldn't go wrong are all she talks about.

Anyways, didn't mean to vent there. I just wish there was a way I could have only shared this with people who were going to be positive about it, and support me.