Pulling a Star Jones...?

[futurefinemama 163]

Is it odd that I don't won't people to know I want to get the Lap Band surgery and this includes family. I think I'm embarrassed about the whole notion of not being able to loose the weight on my own.

Has anyone felt this way?

[BayCityBandster 1]

i don't think it's strange at all...my sister has hardly told a soul. i just had mine done friday and i tell almost everyone in my personal life, but not in my work life. i don't see that it is anyone's business unless you choose to share it, and families can be critical. do what you think is best for you!

[LundyLane 0]

I totally feel the same way! I told my brother-in-law last night and he said well I won't say anything - but I stopped smoking on my own so why can you just stop eating???? After he left the house it came to me that weeks ago he told me he went to the doctor to take that new pill to stop smoking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel the same but I don't care what people think!!! I'm doing this for ME

[Northwest_Nance 0]

I think it's a personal decision. I hadn't even considered weight loss surgery until I went to a hip surgeon who told me I needed a hip replacement but he thought I should consider weight loss surgery first. I was shocked (don't ask me why, lol)!! My first feeling was shame and embarrassment, and I thought "I'm not going to tell anybody". After sleeping on it, I realized I had to tell my boss and my human resources director. I work with a fairly small group of people who are like family. I knew if I pursued weight loss surgery it would involve time off for various doctor visits, surgery, etc., so I would need to tell them. Well --- by the end of the next day I had told all my co-workers. And it felt SO GOOD. It was like, all my life I've had weight problems (up and down, up and down) and it's been like the elephant in the room. Nobody ever talked about it but of course they all watched me struggle while I pretended it wasn't happening. For the first time in my 55 years I was able to talk openly about the issue with people and it was so liberating. I was fortunate because everyone was SO supportive and excited for me. They've all really helped make this journey wonderful for me.

I told my friends, my parents and sisters. They have all been equally supportive.

I have not told my long distance relatives. I have a big family who have almost all struggled with weight and I'm sure they'd be supportive but I never see them and they just don't need to know. I also haven't told any of my neighbors. I'm not close to any of them, we just say hello, and have casual conversations out in the yard.

So I think we each have to make this decision for ourselves, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to handle it.

[futurefinemama 163]

I appreciate the comments and it made me look at my decision in a different perspective.

I think I might let my family know once I have completely decided and the LapBand has been approved. But I work for a big corporation and really don't won't my co-workers to know. One co-worker had the gastro surgery and she was the talk of the company for a while.

Comments on How she looks, oh she lost too much weight, now she needs a plastic surgeon...

[mica 0]

Hi, I was banded Jan 25, 08 in Tijuana, Mexico. Best thing I ever did! My only regret is not having it done 20 years ago!!! So far I'm down about 40 lbs!! I told only my husband and kids (12 yr old girl and 15 yr old boy who I don't think really understand what their mom did for those 4 days back in Jan, and quite frankly, I think they have forgotten about the whole issue). I am glad I kept this to myself, because I think that I would have gotten the same "couldn't you do this on your own" spiel from family and friends as well as the "you spent $7500.00 on what?????????" Don't need that crap! So when people ask me what I'm doing to lose the weight, I say (truthfully I might add) "I'm eating less!"

The only problem for me with not being open about it is that I want to share my success with other people in my situation. Maybe there will come a day when I feel confident enough to do this! I almost told a girl that I met at the dog park the other day who was telling me about weight watchers, maybe later.

All the best!

[*Love* 2]

Is it odd that I don't won't people to know I want to get the Lap Band surgery and this includes family. I think I'm embarrassed about the whole notion of not being able to loose the weight on my own.

Has anyone felt this way?

I do. So far only my husband knows.

My step kids are use to seeing me on some kind of diet or another, so we have been figuring out a few things to say about why I will be eating differently. They have already seen me start to eat less, cutting into small pieces, putting the fork down or eating with chopsticks. We only have them on alternate weekends. I won't lie to them, but I won't tell the whole truth either.

[glorybee123 0]

I felt some shame and embarassment at first. It was kind of like I was admitting defeat, my lifelong battle with weight had gotten the better of me. I told my immediate family and people that I work with but not my friends except for 2. Well some people just can't keep a secret so eventually alot of people knew. Now if someone from church asks me what I have been doing to lose all the weight I just tell them ,( I certainly won't lie about it). I want to be able to help someone else that may be struggling with the decision about the lap band. I do say that it is not for everyone and it is not magic. The band is a tool to help you but it will not do all the work for you.

[coltorismom 0]

I actually thought she was gastric bypass because of her RAPID weight loss. When Dr Phil interrogated her about how she lost the weight, she WOULDN' T reveal that to him.

As for not being able to lose it on your own. All the band is simply a TOOL to aid in weight loss, not a cure all, magic potion weight loss treatment.Weight watchers or south beach are WONDERFUL weight loss programs for the those who are moderate overweight & it's best to get it off before you are 100 lbs overweight. However, WE ARE WHERE WE ARE. THE band is a great tool for the morbidly obese, like me & like STAR JONES, & like many of us!!!

I must be VERY STRANGE, because I couldn't contain myself about my surgery--too excited about it. To me, it was like being ENGAGED not telling anybody OR being pregnant not telling anybody. There were those family members & friends that I ABSOLUTELY did NOT want them to know about my surgery because I didn't want to HEAR IT from them. I think we all have people in our lives who are judgmental & critical. I have a family member who didn't find out until AFTER THE FACT became upset that NOONE told her!! Oh, well life goes on!!

Edited May 25, 2008 by coltorismom
errors

[JenniPenni 0]

I work in the medical clinic where I had my surgery. Everyone knows and I don't care. I did it for me and I feel that no one can understand that unless they have walked in my shoes. Afterwards, people came out of the woodwork from all over the clinic to tell me that the also had lap band surgery and if I had any questions at all I could come to them. Just about everyone has been extremly supportive.

[futurefinemama 163]

Star Jones wasn't banded... I was referring to how she wanted the weight loss surgery to be a big secret... When it was very obvious...

And I am surprised how I want to keep it a secret because I usually have a I don't give a @#@% what you think attitude... but with this issue it is a sensitive subject for me.

[12thMan51 0]

I felt the exact same way! Unfortunately, my mom works at the surgery center so I had to tell her. The only people who know are people I couldn't hide it from (mom, dad, sister). I had a really hard time justifying spending so much money to lose weight when I should have been able to do it for free. My recommendation is to only tell people who will be supportive of your decision. I would definitely try and find one person who can be there with you throughout recovery and who will encourage you throughout your journey if you can. Otherwise, this doesn't concern anyone but you. If you know this is the only way you can lose the weight and keep it off then do it for yourself and don't be ashamed. God Bless!

[LizzieNJ 0]

I actually thought she was gastric bypass because of her RAPID weight loss. When Dr Phil interrogated her about how she lost the weight, she WOULDN' T reveal that to him.

As for not being able to lose it on your own. All the band is simply a TOOL to aid in weight loss, not a cure all, magic potion weight loss treatment.Weight watchers or south beach are WONDERFUL weight loss programs for the those who are moderate overweight & it's best to get it off before you are 100 lbs overweight. However, WE ARE WHERE WE ARE. THE band is a great tool for the morbidly obese, like me & like STAR JONES, & like many of us!!!

I must be VERY STRANGE, because I couldn't contain myself about my surgery--too excited about it. To me, it was like being ENGAGED not telling anybody OR being pregnant not telling anybody. There were those family members & friends that I ABSOLUTELY did NOT want them to know about my surgery because I didn't want to HEAR IT from them. I think we all have people in our lives who are judgmental & critical. I have a family member who didn't find out until AFTER THE FACT became upset that NOONE told her!! Oh, well life goes on!!

Star Jones did have a Gastric Bypass, I am not sure exatly which kind. I think the poster just meant by saying - "Pulling a Star Jones" was that she was keeping her procedure very quiet. Star did not go public for a VERY LONG time. She said she regretted that decision later becuase she could have helped people. But for her at the time it was the right decision. I have told a few close friends and minimal trustworthy coworkers. I just don't want everyone watching me eat and judging me. A woman at work had RNY and everyone judged everything she put in her mouth, how much she put on her plate, how much she lost and how fast. I don't need that kind of stress in my life. So for me at this time keeping this quiet is a good decision for me. No one needs the stress of being judged.

[bbaby24 0]

Is it odd that I don't won't people to know I want to get the Lap Band surgery and this includes family. I think I'm embarrassed about the whole notion of not being able to loose the weight on my own.

Has anyone felt this way?

Actually, I am 3 wks post op. I only told my partner, we live 2gether, and I had to tell him. I also told my best friend, bt after I had the op, cos she is a scary cat. so I decided to do it be4 i Tell her. I cannot face telling anyother person even my family. May be later on in future.

[tas 0]

I only told my wife and wouldn't have told her if I could have gotten away with it. I love her dearly but she feels she needs to share with a few of her friends. She said she wouldn't tell anyone but I can tell from a couple comments from her best friend that she told her. Guys can be brutal. At work a co-worker had gastric bypass surgery and now everyone refers to him as "Gutless". I don't want to gown this road, that's why I don't want anybody to know.