The Lapband surgery is like my wedding

KatW · May 22, 2008

I am getting banded on June 13th and I have been doing a great deal of self examination in order to prepare myself. What are my expectations? Am I prepared? How will this change my life? I have read so many posts on this website- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thank God for all of them because they have given me a range of experiences, outcomes, and expectations.

What keeps coming to mind as a metaphor is that the surgery is the wedding, not the marrige. Lapband is the beginning, not the solution. Everything that come afterwards- my commitment to the eating plan, visits to my doctor, my exercise program- all these things are what make the Lapband succeed. I am not passive in this process. I am the single most responsible person for my success or failure.

My wedding did not guarantee a happy marriage. I have to work at it every day, give it my time attention, and love. It has to be a commitment I make every day over and over again.

It would be so nice to have my battle with my body end in a "and they all lived happily ever after....fade to black."

My wedding was lovely. My husband is my best friend and lover, but we didn't sail into the sunset. We have had ups and downs, illness, and the near death of a child, fights and misunderstandings. I love and cherish our marriage now more than the day we were married because of all the trials and joys.

Lapband is life-altering and I will have to give of myself, give up old habits and behaviors, hopes, expectations and preconceptions. That sounds like a tall order! I am willing to try, however. My marriage has been hard, too, and the most rewarding effort I have ever made.

Nothing worth achieving has ever been easy.

KatW

Vikki · May 22, 2008

I am getting banded on June 13th and I have been doing a great deal of self examination in order to prepare myself. What are my expectations? Am I prepared? How will this change my life? I have read so many posts on this website- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thank God for all of them because they have given me a range of experiences, outcomes, and expectations.
What keeps coming to mind as a metaphor is that the surgery is the wedding, not the marrige. Lapband is the beginning, not the solution. Everything that come afterwards- my commitment to the eating plan, visits to my doctor, my exercise program- all these things are what make the Lapband succeed. I am not passive in this process. I am the single most responsible person for my success or failure.

My wedding did not guarantee a happy marriage. I have to work at it every day, give it my time attention, and love. It has to be a commitment I make every day over and over again.

It would be so nice to have my battle with my body end in a "and they all lived happily ever after....fade to black."

My wedding was lovely. My husband is my best friend and lover, but we didn't sail into the sunset. We have had ups and downs, illness, and the near death of a child, fights and misunderstandings. I love and cherish our marriage now more than the day we were married because of all the trials and joys.

Lapband is life-altering and I will have to give of myself, give up old habits and behaviors, hopes, expectations and preconceptions. That sounds like a tall order! I am willing to try, however. My marriage has been hard, too, and the most rewarding effort I have ever made.

Nothing worth achieving has ever been easy.

KatW

I never really thought of it in those terms and I love it!!!!!!! It is a life changing decision and experience. I too have been married for a long time...going on 17 years in Sept.....and we have been threw ups and downs together. You can think of the band in the same way but until you experience it , it is just what others tell you. This thanksgiving it will be two years with my band. If you don't mind me giving you a couple of stories from my experience to just help you? I have been threw ups and downs with my band already. It was the honeymoon stage when I first got my band and it is a very quick recovery. Since you have been threw child birth this will be a piece of cake. You feel like someone punched you in the gut for about two weeks and then start to feel your energy come back week by week and with in 4-6 weeks feel totally fine. Then it will be time to get you fill if the Dr. doesn't give you one before you leave to go home. Most doctors will not to let you body heal and make sure your body doesn't reject the band which can happen. It is a foreign object in your body and some people can't get to feeling good again. It is a very small percentage so just keep consentrating on the prize. But please baby step it with your fills. Everyone's body is different to what amount of a fill works for them. I had a fill of 4.5cc and for three months went threw having days were I couldn't even get Water down because the area around my band was so irritated from PBing so much (throwing up) and so it swelled up and it was MISERABLE!!! By that point I had gotten to the Stop Button (what I call it) which is after a few bites you feel a tight feeling which is you body worning you to put the fork down and STOP or you will start to hurt a lot or just end up throwing up what is stuck on top of the band. I went to my doctor who removed 2.5cc out of my band and it opened me right up. Honey the first thing I did was go to Jack in the Box and ate a double cheeseburger that I swear was better then sex.....just so yummy. Had no restriction so I felt like a kid in a candy store and just ate and ate and ate............the stop button was not there anymore. Three weeks later the scale was up 12 pounds!!!! ARRGGGGG

So back to see my doctor I went and I only he only put 1cc in and just that little 1cc gave me the stop button again. Now when I eat I can tell after just a couple of bites if I need to stop and feel if it starts to get tight or if it goes down.......take my time.......take small bites.......be careful. When you have that GOD SENT stop button you feel a sense of peace in yourself you haven't felt before. This tool is not the answer to become skinny and thin like the models in the magazine. This tool is for us that have reached a point of insanity with in ourselves of why am I so heavy......how did I get this way..........how do I control it again. food became my worst enemy and I just beat myself up everynight because I ate all day what I said I wasn't going to do the night before. I couldn't control myself. It is not the easy way out. Let me tell you it took me a long time to be okay with such a small amount when everyone else around you is still eating in 10 min and eating huge portions. It took at least 8 months to feel that peace of mind that I was a good girl today. I did what I was suppose too. I ate my Protein and took my Vitamins and drank my Water. It is a great feeling!!!!! I have not lost as much as I had hoped when I got the surgery but I have to keep reminding myself that I have gone from a size 20 to a size 16 and my goal is to be between 12 and 14. So I am almost there and I have to just keep trying every day to reach my goal. The next step will be maintaining. This tool will help me do that and I have to keep my fill at a good spot that will help me maintain that stop button. I wish you all the luck in the world. I love my band and want to share the joy with everyone I see walking down the street that is obese and struggling with food. It has been a blessing and a huge transfirmation for me inside and out!! Another huge thing you HAVE TO DO is get in a good local support group. You can talk and talk to your husband but other bandsters truely understand what your going threw and can help with emotional support in so many ways. I started one in Orange County and we meet every month. It is so nice to share advice with each other and just talk about things you can't with others that have no clue what having a band is all about. :crying:

larakathyleen · May 23, 2008

Kat, your post is so very inspiring to me. I can completely relate to the questioning and self examination. I am trying to be realistic in my expectations and look at the big picture in terms of the lifestyle change that must occur. One day at a time is my mantra.

And your metaphor is right on the money. I also have my surgery next month on the 11th and I am nervous, excited, frightened and so very hopeful all at the same time. You are right. Nothing worth achieving is easy. I just pray I can keep this mentality internalized during the rough times.