300 :(

[go_big_girl 2]

oh no :blushing: i hope everything works out for you :thumbup:

keep us updated

[mrsgriffin2u 1]

i am definitely having the last meal syndrome..

so i went to my weight loss clinic consult today. it was my first appt seeing the weight doctor. i was weighed, and measured. 299.5lbs by their scale, 45 bust, 42 waist, 57 hips. yes, i am shaped like a pear, lol. but i got my blood taken and everything. so next friday i am going to talk with the actual doctor about my lab results and get my weight medication. i asked the nurse today about lapband, and she told me to weight to talk to the actual doctor on friday.

anyway, today has very been emotional. i got fired today from my job. i am devastated because i loved my job. i am a special education teacher. so today i've done very badly and have totally eaten emotionally. i've eaten a cheese danish, a reese's cup, a hershey bar, 2 small bags of sour cream & onion chips, a medium bag of salt and vinegar chips, a foot long tuna fish sub, some milano Cookies, and COUNTLESS numbers of cups of grape soda.

why do we eat emotionally? we know better!

For me, this is how I understand why I turn to food...

Some people are alcoholics, some are drug addicts. Some people are addicted to shopping and others have OCD. Everyone has something that they are in control of (or think they are in control of) and for me it's food. Food is my "medicine." It's not good medicine, but neither is heroine, OCD meds, alcohol, or $10000 credit card bills. It's not right, but it's done. Now, this is my rehab. I will struggle with this for the rest of my life. I have an addiction to food, and while I'm grieving over having to let it go, I have to constantly remind myself that I'm gaining something much more valuable. LIFE! --- a life for my future children, my husband, family, (hopefully) grandchildren, friends, etc.

LOL --- that doesn't change that I have "last meal syndrome" and will probably have it 12 more times before my surgery! I don't know whether to laugh it off, cry, be disgusted, or just accept it. :blushing:

[whygirl 0]

Tara, sorry to hear about your job. =( Hope you find another one you like even more. We all have ups and downs. Just put this day behind you and look forward to the next. =)

[juliegeraci 7]

Don't feel bad. My top weight was 320. I am down over 100 lbs now. It can be done. Good luck.

[go_big_girl 2]

Tara, sorry to hear about your job. =( Hope you find another one you like even more. We all have ups and downs. Just put this day behind you and look forward to the next. =)

thanks. i keep telling myself it's a bump in the road and God has a reason for everything, even though we may not see the reason off the bat.