Why Do People Have to be So Mean...

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Okay - I have to rant! I had a day from hell at work today. My ex-boss works with me now. She is no longer my supervisor, but believes she is. She is literally a thorn in everyones side and is a two-faced, backstabbing, hypocondriac that believes she is above everyone else. Well, there is my opinion of her...now what she did today, set me over the edge.

In the past she has made smart-ass comments about my weight, looked at the food (if it wasn't light or lean cuisine) and make comments like, "should you be eating that?". I am so rebelious - I'd eat it just to spite her, she'd P me off so bad. I wore a pair of heeled sandals to work last week - she told me they were inappropriate because they clanked...sandals clank! Then the pair of pants I wore another day made a "swishing" noise. She commented on that...I'm now rambling...SO MAD,...

I was out of work yesterday with a major Migraine headache. Rather than coming in and asking how I was, she said, "I noticed you are out a lot on Mondays - what are you doing with your weekends." I told her I wasn't out on Mondays and she was wrong. I sat at my desk and vented and let my blood boil until I decided I couldn't take her crap anymore. I checked the calendar and proceeded to walk to her desk and told her I was out last February with the FLU on a Thursday and worked the rest of the week." That was the last time other than my surgery I was out sick. She said, "It affects us all when you aren't here."....I responded, "So does the dozens of doctor's appointments you go to." The woman is a hypocondriac. She thinks she knows everything and if you sneeze she'll diagnose you. It drives me nutz! I told her it would have been nice of her to check on me instead of making smart-ass comments. She then proceeded to follow me to the break room. I asked her why she was so mean. She responded, "Because I can be.". She is 50 something years old and really has a bad Napolean Complex, that sounds like something my 8 year old would say. I said "that's really Nice, Thanks a Lot." She said "You're Welcome." WTH??? Lets just say a lot more words were said and as she ran back to her desk - seeing she lost the battle - I shouted to her retreating back, "It was none of her damn business anyway."

Ohhhh I am still upset. I was RED and crying and completely out of breath for at least 30 minutes afterwards. I hate when I cry - especially in anger. This is the first time in six years I have stood up to her! My emotions are all over the place. I'm not going to take her crap anymore, however I don't want to get fired, I need my job.

Should I report her and her bitchy attitude? I think it was completely inappropriate.

[MrsFlipFlops 2]

I had a boss like that. I walked out on the job. I couldn't take it anymore. I reported her and nothing. Other people reported her, and nothing.

Do you have an independent HR group that handles complaints?

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Leslie, that is such a tough one. If I weren't in almost the same situation and wondering what to do myself, I would give you some advice. However, I need to take care of my own yard before critiquing my neighbors.

Good luck with that, we all need it sometimes.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

She isn't my boss anymore (Thank God!), she was for five years. She had to take a demotion when companies were changed last year. We don't have an HR department for these kinds of complaints. I have my Manager and my Brokers that I report to. I think my Manager is intimidated by her - everyone complains about her, yet nothing is ever done. It is so frustrating.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

Leslie, that is such a tough one. If I weren't in almost the same situation and wondering what to do myself, I would give you some advice. However, I need to take care of my own yard before critiquing my neighbors.

Good luck with that, we all need it sometimes.

I wanted to walk out so bad today - I haven't been that angry in a long time. Should we form a revolt? We can throw our little "dictators" - that is what she is a little dictator - out on their rear ends. I wish she'd quit. She hates her job - has said so many times. She's lost a lot of the "power" she had previously and it kills her. She only takes joy in beating everyone else down. It really is sad - and the saddest part - she claims to be a Christian. Ha! Hypocrit is more like it. She is constantly talking about Sunday school and church. I'm more of a Christian than she is and I haven't set foot in a church in years. Oops - I'm now to the raving part. Can you tell I'm still upset? I'll calm in a bit - just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening to me!!!

[Keywestgirl 0]

Report her first. Try to secretly record her so you have proof. Go hi tec, wear a wire. LOL Tell her she is a sad miserable Bi**h and you can't believe she is a Christian. Tell her she better get off your A** oe she will be sorry. That would really be frustrating to walk outside after a long hard day of work to find you have 4 flat tires. FYI, just get someone else to do the flattening. She might get the hint. Don't let her know u did it. Karma is a beautiful thing. :wink2: I'll go off on her for you. what's her email? LOL. Hang in there.

[Keywestgirl 0]

Oh yeah if she has a complaint about an article of clothing making noise, tell her that her mouth makes such an intolerable "yapping" noise.

[ssdown 0]

Wow, Am I grateful for my job! The woman is pathetic and insecure. I feel sorry that you have to endure her jabs, but perhaps you could or should feel sorry for her. She is a person that is so full of self-hatred that she has to pick on people to make herself feel good. She is truly a miserable person inside and out. Don't be like her. SS

[plain 12]

Yeah. You totally need to report her. She's not your boss, and personal comments like this are not to be tolerated at work. Make sure to stress to your boss that by making these comments, she is disrupting the work team and lowering productivity (since time that could be spent working is being wasted on these inappropriate comments).

"Out on a lot of Mondays"........How is that her business? "Should you be eating that".....how is that her business? Tell your boss that you feel these hurtful comments constitute harrassment, and ask what can be done.

[brandyII 9]

I guess you can take the Boss out of the bitch but not the bitch out of the boss, well it made sense at the time. I don't know all the politics where you work but have never liked working with women especially as my boss. I think it's something ingrained in my family, be your own boss but there's something that always seems to cause problems when I have a female boss, I'm not a hater it just is the way it is.

Anyway I think you're just still shaken from telling her off and it seems like it was a good thing to stand up for yourself. She sounds just as annoying as she is bitchy! She's probably rotten at her job also isn't she?

Anyway it's always good to stand up for yourself, maybe now she'll treat you with a little more respect and find someone else to torture. Good luck!!!! brandyII

[plain 12]

there's something that always seems to cause problems when I have a female boss

I've always thought that a group of women have a much more difficult time working together than a group of men (I've worked in all male departments, and I've worked in departments where I was the only man). Sexist? Possibly.....but I think it's true.

[anonemouse 1]

Definitely report her, but try to stay above her own behavior when you act. You want to have as most credibility as possible, and you will lose credibility if you lose your cool with her. I know it would feel so good to let off steam at her, make comments, or as another poster suggested, imply that you'll slash her tires. But DO NOT DO IT. As it stands, it appears to other people like a bitchy nut harassing a coworker. If you snap and react, it will start to look like two warring coworkers, which won't gather very much support for you. So, I know it will be hard, but try to keep your cool. Definitely stand up to her, but do it in an adult fashion. Report her, be very cool when she makes remarks, etc. Don't revert to high school.

[brandyII 9]

I've always thought that a group of women have a much more difficult time working together than a group of men (I've worked in all male departments, and I've worked in departments where I was the only man). Sexist? Possibly.....but I think it's true.

Don't quote me, I'll quote you! I'm a girl I can admit there are sometimes issues with working with my sex!!! :wink2:

[c7777christine 1]

Comments about your weight can be one thing. Discrimination! I would file a report on those grounds. Don't lower yourself to her level with the other stuff. The EEOC works to defend people who are discriminated against. Remember not to give your energy to people who don't deserve it. I have a hard time with that too. Good luck. Sometimes praying for those who hurt us the most helps us heal. Plus they might need it more. Lots of luck! Chrissie

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I wanted to walk out so bad today - I haven't been that angry in a long time. Should we form a revolt? We can throw our little "dictators" - that is what she is a little dictator - out on their rear ends. I wish she'd quit. She hates her job - has said so many times. She's lost a lot of the "power" she had previously and it kills her. She only takes joy in beating everyone else down. It really is sad - and the saddest part - she claims to be a Christian. Ha! Hypocrit is more like it. She is constantly talking about Sunday school and church. I'm more of a Christian than she is and I haven't set foot in a church in years. Oops - I'm now to the raving part. Can you tell I'm still upset? I'll calm in a bit - just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening to me!!!

Well, there it is right there! Everyone has a reason on why they what they do. She is miserable and it makes her feel better to make you miserable. I'll tell you what, and I'll take my own advice at the same time... let's just be sweet as pie no matter what flavor they throw at us! Let's not let it show one iota that they get to us. We'll need to vent somewhere from time to time - but hey - never let 'em see you sweat, kwim? ... or Kill 'Em With Kindness.

When she asks why you're being so nice, say "Oh, I'm just being a good Christian!" I would also report her about the comments about "should you be eating that". That is clearly durogatory and rightly should be reported to the proper authorities.

Edited May 21, 2008 by LilMissDiva