Did anybody NOT tell their family?

[Tropicana 0]

I'm very close to my sister. So i would tell her about surgery and have her in the waiting room and taking me home.

But my brothers can be very insensitive atheletic jocks. And my mother, as sweet, wonderful and supportive as she is, can't keep her mouth shut. Before I know it, EVERYONE will know. My Dad will be eyeing me to see what things I'm putting in my mouth.

I don't live with my family but I visit often (once a week to once a month). So they will hopefully notice the weight loss. I can always explain it away by saying I've been working out and that work has been stressful.

Anyone gotten away with it?

[Shalee04 7]

I was banded 6 months ago. The only people I have told are my husband and 3 daughters, and 1 friend. That's it no one on e3ither side of the family knows. What they do know is I am very strict with my portions and what I eat. I eat very healthy these days, I also exercise each and every day no matter what, even if I am at thier house for the weekend I incorporate exercise there.

so Yes it is possible to not tell anyone.

[dlsparks88 1]

I consider any type of medical treatment (surgery, counseling, drugs etc) to be considered a private manner. In addition, it can cause you more problems, because people will try to give advise (good and bad). Also, it put a lot more pressure on you to loose weight, basically to succeed. I have told my wife only. Small a problem -- I had to get a chest x-ray, they took it three times because they believe it was a bad x-ray, it was the band. Keep it private, your life and enjoy your sucess.

[katschai 0]

I was banded 1yr ago. The only person who knows is my husband. I did not even tell my teenage son. I agree wth dlsparks - you really get set up by all the pressure, now for some people that can be a big motivator, but for me I knew it would not be a good idea. I workout almost every day and people attribute my weight loss to diet and exericise and that is valid. You are the one working hard, the band is a tool.

[gigim 8]

I have only told 1 friend and no family members, not even my daughter whom I am very close too....My family would be dead set against it, they would not understand..I am waiting on my eval and insurance approval..That 1 friend will be taking me to the hosptial...I live alone and visit my family 1 or 2 days a week...The week of my surgery I will not visit for a full week...Hope they never find out....Good luck to us all....Gigi

[Hastings 3]

I have told practically everyone I know. I have received nothing but positive support.

However, I am the sort of person who doesn't really get too wound up over what other people think.

[sugrbear 1]

I only told my husband, after all he did pay for it, but I decided for now I dont' want to tell anyone. My family and I are very close but live 1700 miles away and I feel like this is something I want to do myself. Unfortunately my husband forgot this agreement and told 10 women that work for him, so on a recent visit I was sort of at odds when I got" how do feel", and "oh you look good", and realized why I got a few stares I wasn't use to. I later realized someone spilled the Beans. I now find myself not wanting to go back in because I don't want to be scrutinized just now over whether I have lost weight, how much etc. It might be ok, might not, but it was what I was trying to avoid. It is very different when you just lose it and someone says something, but when they know you have had surgery they expect stuff from you that may be unrealistic because lets face it, unless they have had this procedure they won't understand it.

[eazes 0]

I haven't told any family members besides my hubby. I have told a couple of my REALLY close friends. They have seen me struggle with my weight and have been really supportive. I'll probably tell my family after I have it done. I haven't decided yet.

[want_so_bad 0]

only a few people know that i had surgery. my husband, my mom, my sisters and brother, my dad, and 2 very good friends. i didnt want to deal with the questions and being watched every second. i get that enough from my husband! he means well.... but its hard to listen to his comments sometimes. one of the friends is super supportive. she had gastric bypass a little over a year ago, so we share our experiences. its great. the other friend that knows, she is supportive as well, but... well, first she freaked because i was going to Mexico for surgery. "OMG, havent you watched dateline?" but overall she has been perty good about it. as for my family that knows. they are great. sometimes my mom forgets and asks if i want this or that and then she feels bad when i tell her i cant/dont want it.

i think its just a personal choice. you have to do what you feel is best for you. if you dont tell anyone at first, and then decide you want to share, thats great. thats kinda what i figured. if i decide i want to tell someone, then i have the option. but if i tell and then regret it, well, i cant take that back.

[Luscious 1]

Why do you need to say "work has been stressful?" You should not need to diminish the work you are doing.... I have chosen to tell my parents, and my brother - but nobody else in my family (including sister) will EVER know. When they comment on my weight loss (and I know they will eventually) I will simply tell them the truth - I have reduced the amount of calories I'm consuming, and increased my exercise. That is the truth ! The band doesn't cause magic weight loss :-)

[HeatherO 7]

I have only told my husband. Not even my teenage son is aware of it. I did not want to add any additional pressure to what was already a really personal choice.

One of the reasons that I did not tell anyone is because I have a friend that had R&Y and has had limited success but is still morbidly obese years later. Some mutual friends sometimes comment about how she did not follow up with support needed. Everyone loves her and is very sad that she did not find the level of success she was looking for after taking such great risks. I dont want to be scrutinized at this level, even if it is well intentioned by people who love you for who you are.

I am a very private person and I dont want everyone watching my every bite, or looking to see how my body changes. I am one of those people who blushes when someone sings happy birthday to me . . . . if you know what I mean :0). I dont want to be "different" or maybe have my weight loss discounted because I took the supposedly easy road before I have a chance to get into my new skin.

However, I am finding success and people notice. People ask what I have done and I tell them honestly what I do every day: daily intentional exercise coupled with small portions of healthy food and elimination of processed carbs from my diet.

I have decided that once I move out of the obese bmi range, if anyone asks sincerely how I lost it (and maybe is struggling in the same way I was) I will tell them exactly how I got to where I am. I want everyone who struggles like me to know what opportunities are out there that might help. I just want to move past the preliminary stages of weight loss on my own with the support of my DH if that makes any sense.

[sugrbear 1]

We are all working hard to lose our weight, and to keep it off, because yes we know we can cheat the band and put it back on if we really want to. So I say, take credit for the hard work we are doing, were exercising, were eating healthier, were improving our lives, becoming more active, helping others improve their lives by being supportive, listening, giving suggestions, having a good laugh together. Yes "WE" are working hard.

Later if we tell others about the band it will be when we are ready or to promote the benefits of the band. I do that on the sites when people ask about my experience and are trying to decide whether this is for them. I give them my honest experience and answer any questions I can to help them.

I think we all agree until you have a band, you can't quite fully understand what it will entail no matter how much research you have done in advance. It is definately more work than we anticipated even if knew and understood it was a tool and we had to do the work. Reality is a real eye opener. In this case a good one for me.