female only Question for the Ladies; Men you can answer too

[Ann D 0]

After losing a noticable amount of weight,and getting compliments from the ladies in my office I noticed that the men WILL NOT say anything even if they notice it.

I mentioned to a few men in my ofcie about the amount of weight I have lost. They all say, "Yeah I noticed but I did not want to say anything just in case." Whats with that.

I had to educate a few of them. I told them even if you are wrong about saying we look like we lost weight when we haven't; it still makes us feel good.

Ladies have you experienced this?

Men, whats the deal???:confused_smile:

[Froggi 4]

I think people are afraid to say something because they might be wrong. Some people might think that you lost weight but you actually gained and that would make someone feel terrible so they just say well I should keep to myself.

[Ann D 0]

I mean like clothes hanging off noticable.

I wear a uniform everday and I am waiting to get new ones until I am at a point they are falling off of me so I won't have to get new ones again shrotly there after. I look like a kid wearing my dads cloths. It's that noticable.

[KatW 0]

Perhaps in the workplace, men feel uncomfortable commenting on a woman's appearance. It could be perceived as an inappropriate comment in a work environment. Do you feel like the men NEED to compliment you? What is in it for you if they do/don't?

Congrats on your weight loss- we all need cheerleaders in our corner, but why is it so important that male coworkers comment on it? Perhaps it would be more meaningful coming from friends and family?

[KatW 0]

Also meant to say> I would not like it people that I have a professional relationship made comments about my appearance either positive or negative. Different strokes for different folks!

Kat W

[jbrod2616 0]

consider the source

Men just don't think to say things like that.

Also they may be concerned that you would consider a simple comment an advance and not just a nice thing to do.

Us men just don't think like you girls

Anyway just some ideas.

[mbanja 1]

Honestly, the men I used to work with wouldn't even notice if I dyed my hair pink and came to work. I think it is just their nature. Unless they have any attraction to you they usually don't notice much. Not to diss men or anything, guy's can just be oblivious most of the time. At least that's what I think. I've been wrong many times before.

[Froggi 4]

Hmm if it's that noticable they might be frightened to say something thinking you would be offended as in sexually etc. Other than that I don't know. Men are hard to understand...women are too...I don't understand myself half the time. LOL

[Ann D 0]

I don't think its important at all, my office is very open and we discuss a lot of things that could not be discussed in an open forum. Its just when I mention it, they say yeah I've noticed but was afraid to say anything just in case you didn't.

We are a very close group (Family) I'm a police officer. We spend countless hours with each other and we notice the small things because our lives depend knowing and picking up on the littlest things. Maybe my first message was not worded properly. They are fearful to say anything out of fear of offending. I informed them that most compliments are not offensive.

My family and close friend see me everyday and don't see the small cahnges. So they only notice when I change the normal way I dress or something like that.

I was just soliciting opinions on why men would be so afraid to pay a woman a compliment. Now that I have informed a few that it is okay and flattering they are complimenting all of us.

Edited May 19, 2008 by Ann D

[IndioGirl55 32]

After losing a noticable amount of weight,and getting compliments from the ladies in my office I noticed that the men WILL NOT say anything even if they notice it.

I mentioned to a few men in my ofcie about the amount of weight I have lost. They all say, "Yeah I noticed but I did not want to say anything just in case." Whats with that.

I had to educate a few of them. I told them even if you are wrong about saying we look like we lost weight when we haven't; it still makes us feel good.

Ladies have you experienced this?

Men, whats the deal???:confused_smile:

AnnD - is about the whole PC mindset now a days - some people might think they are comming on to you or trying to hit on you..

My whole office knew that I got banded and I get complements from the guys all the time (they are all like brothers to me) heck I have worked with them for 20+ yrs -

In fact today one of the owners came up to me and said I was looking good since I lost weight - I said to him "Oh you thought I was ugly 10 months ago" He laughted and left...

Even fat I dressed and looked good for a fat chick - now I look extra good in my size 8 white capris...

[Apples2 19]

Hey Kat, I guess my take on the "men" commenting thing is this: Most men are scared sh**less to say ANYTHING when it comes to a woman's weight. Most of them have heard the dreaded questions from their women, i.e. "Does my butt look big in these jeans?" I think most men would rather run like hell rather than answer a question like that or bring up a woman's weight, good or bad. WE did that to them!

Congrats on the weight that you have lost and wishing you continued success.

[snowbird 2]

Well, think of all the threads we have here complaining about what people say about our weight, the backhanded compliments, the things we take offense at when none is intended. Why should we be surprised that men are afraid to say anything?

My son is the same; he was visiting last week and didn't say a word until I brought the subject up, then just mumbled, "It shows."

[reenie11 1]

I'm a single mom of two boys, 11 and 13. I have always taught them that it is disrespectful to ask anyone what they weigh, how old they are, how much money they make, etc. And women are completely nutso about weight, age, all that stuff. Their prob. afraid you will cry or go off on a rant. Just be happy on your own about it. Everyone here is happy for you too!!!

[KatW 0]

Wow! Lucky you to work with such a great group! If they are afraid to comment, and you welcome them to do so, make a joke about it! My sister loves her birthday and she always wears a tiara to work and a pin that says "Thanks for wishing me Happy BD! Gifts accepted until midnight." Something like that to break the ice?

KatW

[Ann D 0]

Wow,

I did not mean to stir up such a contorversal topic.

I was just trying to get into the mind set of the guys I work with, and see if anyone else had experienced similar things.

I guess, I'm just stirring the pot. Hey it got us thinking didn't it...