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Don't feel alone girls. We guys are the same way. It's been 5 or 6 years since the last gf. I am now at the point where people are saying, "don't you want a gf?" Of course I do! How do you admit that you want one, but are not sure that one will want you. So, I just continue the lie of "NO WAY, I don't want anyone holding me back. I want to be able to do what I want when I want. I want to be able to pick up and move at a moment's notice." Hopefully the weight loss will bring me to a point that I can approach girls and put myself out there.

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I soooooooooo get this!

I constantly complain about how there are no good men out there - and I realised that the only men I am meeting are the ones who like fat chicks (or who like me despite the fact I am fat) and I have deliberated over settling for them.... although I realised when I was talkiing about the banding the other night with a friend of mine and I was also talking about this guy who i am not sure if he's keen/or really if I am keen - and she was saying imagine how good you would feel if you could finally get thinner, and all the guys that would be keen etc. and I said it all when I said "god yes, I would so not be interested in Blah blah if I was thin" and I thought oh jeez, I am totally settling as I don't think I can do better because I am fat.

I am so excited that I won't have this HUGE (pun intended) barrier between me and finding someone who I love and who can love me. Both by more men finding me attractive - and by me being more confident in talking to them - that I will get to meet more men, and finally meet someone I click with. I've been single now for a few years but was in a realtionship for 6 years before that and I although I have really enjoyed being single, I am starting to feel very scared I will not find anyone.

I am not really looking forward to rubbing anyones face in it - exes etc - well maybe one... but mainly looking forward to being able to go to school reunions and catching up wth old family friends from years ago - and not feeling like they will think i have failed in life because I am fat.

Ugh.. emotional purge over... heh.

Edited by lingling

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HEY- IM A 22 YEAR OLD GUY, WENT FROM 380 TO 293 IN EIGHT MONTHS, THE LADIES HAVE BEEN MUCH MORE RECEPTIVE TO ME NOW.....GOOD THING RIGHT?, HAHAHAHA WRONG. The girls i used to know are like ahhhh you look so good, im like what was wrong with me before. every new girl i meet im like wuld they of liked me 87lbs ago. i admit it, i am very effing angry with people. read my post "THE ABYSS IS FURIOUS.....HELP WITH PEOPLE" that has my whole story. i am just real parinoid with people now, i feel like no matter what i do i will be judged for either being FAT OR THIN. hahaha, i just wish people, and these girls in my life just would see me, fat or thin, LATER ON AND GOOD LUCK-FURIOUS ABYSS

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I'm so happy I found this section of the forum! I totally relate to so much of what you guys are saying... Guys happy to hook up with us late at night, but never wanting people to know, never willing to call us a girlfriend.

I "saw" this guy for 6 months, we were the bestest of friends before that, it was like we were dating but never were, then one night we hooked up, and then - to me we were dating. I mean we went out for dinner, saw movies together, went to parties together - they went home and hooked up. If that's not a relationship idk what is! But I could tell he just didn't want to call it that... Because he is hot and buff and all that, and had never dated a girl who was less than perfect... So we were "just friends who hooked up sometimes." But then I had to move away, totally not his fault... But he's SO cold to me now... I know he had feelings for me, and I can't wait to go back, have him see me at a healthier (LOWER) weight, and totally ignore him. Haha!

Good luck to all of you... I'm getting banded on March 4th and I CAN. NOT. WAIT!!!

xoxoxox

Edited by Angie1985

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It's good to know I am not alone in this department. I often feel sad sometimes because I've never really had a serious relationship with a guy as old as I am. I do hear though that good things come to those who wait, so we will see.. :biggrin:

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'Love doctor' advice for girls, Date a Nerd! I use that term loosely, but engineers, scientists, intellects, etc.

I'm not just saying that because I'm a computer scientist, but because other groups have socially suffered like overweight people. Most nerds have trouble in the romance dept because they're shy and afraid of rejection, too. But one thing I can vouch for is nerds treat their dates like Gods/Goddesses because they don't get many opportunities so they make the best of it.

As far as looks, there ARE good looking nerds, too. If you're wanting to connect to someone on more than just a physical level, it's a good route.

I've recommended a lot of my female friends this route, and have a 100% satisfaction rate thus far.

...Just a thought!

Edited by MrRiceGuy

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