I'm SO PISSED OFF!!!

[singledad167 0]

I just got a call from a friend and the first words were, "I hear you're getting weight loss surgery". First, I've told NO ONE, not even my own mother knows yet that I'm going to get banned. I just told this friend, that I was thinking about it, and where did she hear it from. She told me someone from church. We'll, a woman from church also works at my docs office where I made and appointment to get approval. This could be the ONLY place she found out. I'm not a doctor, but the last I heard is patient information is private, not for public gossip. In addition there's this little Federal Law called HIPPA. Not only could I have her fired, I could bring legal charges against her, and the medical office. I don't think I can even show my face at church with everyone staring at me. I so angry right now I'm ready to sue the docs office and have them pay for my surgery!!! Now what do I do?

Edited May 15, 2008 by singledad167

[min 0]

look just hold your head up high..... everntually most people find out sooner or later, and who really cares what people think or say. it really depends on how you feel inside.

nothing feels as good as thin and believe me i got banded in jan this year and only told 2 people mu mother still dont know and thats how ill keep it,well fo now anyway, as soon she is going to ask what am i doing to loose the weight and ill be honest with her.

you never know you might find someone else with in your friend group who is thinking of the same procedure and you may be setting a healthy weightloss trend.

i know how you must be feeling but just drop the baggage of this stress as you dont need it ......

just push ahead and it is very very worth it all.

i started at 106kgs 23rd jan............ 17 weeks later im now 88.5kg!!!

feel fantastic... hubby cant keep his hands off me!!

cheers and hope this cheers u up.

[OH Juli 15]

Call the woman out on it. Be sure she's the one who told your business before you get too pissed with her.

People might have put two and two together if you've dropped hints trying to get you to react.

[singledad167 0]

I'm still going through with the surgery, this wont stop me, but I wasn't ready to share it with the whole world. I'm just confused on what my next step is. She's a single mother herself, and if I call the docs office, she'll most likely be fired, and even could be in legal trouble. On the other hand, she cannot just talk about patients with other people.

[singledad167 0]

Call the woman out on it. Be sure she's the one who told your business before you get too pissed with her.

People might have put two and two together if you've dropped hints trying to get you to react.

I really don't think so, I've been EXTREMLY private about it, and she's the one that awnsered the phone to take the appt, and I was embarssed to say what it was for.

[SeattleSweetie 5]

Now what do I do?

You need to call the office and speak to either the office manager or doctor, preferably both, and tell them exactly what was done. If this is a hospital-affiliated clinic, contact hospital patient relations (call the switchboard, tell them you want to lodge a complaint against an employee and have them direct you to the right person or department) and file a formal complaint.

If you are serious about persuing a lawsuit, then tell them so and see if they will offer anything. However, I suggest you not say something like this unless you are well prepared to do so and intend to follow through if the response they give you is not satisfactory. You don't want to open that can of worms unless you're well and truly serious.

In the mean time, assuming this woman truly is the culprit, she should truly know better than to do such a thing. I don't know if technically what she did was legally wrong (gossiping about seeing someone come through her doors, versus handing out personal information out of your medical file), but she nonetheless deserves a strong, official reprimand from the office/clinic/hospital. Regardless of the legality, it's just not ethical.

However, all this only applies if you're okay with her getting in serious trouble. Just because she's a single mother doesn't excuse her actions. You can always talk to her first, explain how upset you are and the consequences she could face if you raised this issue to her superiors and see how it goes.

Edited May 15, 2008 by SeattleSweetie

[willowcrown 1]

The situation is not comfortable. However, and I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant. From one big girl to another, do you believe that people at your church, work, etc. don't know that you are...well, fat?

What difference does it really make if people know you are considering or have had Lap Band surgery? You are acting like trying to improve your health is a shameful thing that needs to be kept private.

From someone who is newly banded, I can tell you that it's no "magic bullet"; I'm working my butt off! I would use the opportunity to "flip the script" on this gadfly and if someone mentions it to you say, "Yes, I am considering Lap Band surgery. It's a drastic step but I believe it will help me acheive my personal health goals." Then smile as you deliver the final, disarming but sincere zinger..."thank you so much for your concern; it means so much to me to know that you care!"

I personally haven't hid a thing from anyone - not my coworkers, family or friends. It was that right thing to do. Everyone has been like my personal cheerleaders.

As a manager of a large dental practice, I would immediately terminate any employee who was divulging personal info to outside sources. You should schedule a meeting with the doc and the office manager. Ask them what they plan to do about the situation and insure that they follow up. Trying to sue the doc or the office is *not* the way to endear yourself to medical community, trust me. You'd be hard pressed to find a doc that would take you on after that.

Good luck!

:party:

[glorybee123 0]

If you decide not to report her in order to save her job I think you should tell her how you feel about her sharing your private info with others. It was none of her business or anyone elses!

[singledad167 0]

You need to call the office and speak to either the office manager or doctor, preferably both, and tell them exactly what was done. If this is a hospital-affiliated clinic, contact hospital patient relations (call the switchboard, tell them you want to lodge a complaint against an employee and have them direct you to the right person or department) and file a formal complaint.

If you are serious about persuing a lawsuit, then tell them so and see if they will offer anything. However, I suggest you not say something like this unless you are well prepared to do so and intend to follow through if the response they give you is not satisfactory. You don't want to open that can of worms unless you're well and truly serious.

In the mean time, assuming this woman truly is the culprit, she should truly know better than to do such a thing. I don't know if technically what she did was legally wrong (gossiping about seeing someone come through her doors, versus handing out personal information out of your medical file), but she nonetheless deserves a strong, official reprimand from the office/clinic/hospital. Regardless of the legality, it's just not ethical.

However, all this only applies if you're okay with her getting in serious trouble. Just because she's a single mother doesn't excuse her actions. You can always talk to her first, explain how upset you are and the consequences she could face if you raised this issue to her superiors and see how it goes.

I'm hurt, angry, and upset right now. I know what she did was not only immoral, unprofessional, but it was also illegal. I called my sister, and without giving details and of course making myself the third person, she was horrified, and told me that ANYONE who has access to personal health information is required by law to sign a confideniality agreement and sharing that information is illegal. After looking up my rights under the HIPPA Federal laws, I have a case if I want to pursue it. I'm not going to to anyting till I calm down.

[singledad167 0]

The situation is not comfortable. However, and I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant. From one big girl to another, do you believe that people at your church, work, etc. don't know that you are...well, fat?

What difference does it really make if people know you are considering or have had Lap Band surgery? You are acting like trying to improve your health is a shameful thing that needs to be kept private.

From someone who is newly banded, I can tell you that it's no "magic bullet"; I'm working my butt off! I would use the opportunity to "flip the script" on this gadfly and if someone mentions it to you say, "Yes, I am considering Lap Band surgery. It's a drastic step but I believe it will help me acheive my personal health goals." Then smile as you deliver the final, disarming but sincere zinger..."thank you so much for your concern; it means so much to me to know that you care!"

I personally haven't hid a thing from anyone - not my coworkers, family or friends. It was that right thing to do. Everyone has been like my personal cheerleaders.

As a manager of a large dental practice, I would immediately terminate any employee who was divulging personal info to outside sources. You should schedule a meeting with the doc and the office manager. Ask them what they plan to do about the situation and insure that they follow up. Trying to sue the doc or the office is *not* the way to endear yourself to medical community, trust me. You'd be hard pressed to find a doc that would take you on after that.

Good luck!

:party:

We'll Willow, I appreciate your advice, but my concern was more than just people knowing I'm fat thank you very much. It's my decision whether or not to tell anyone or everyone. Good for you that you shouted it out to the world, not everyone feels the same. My trust, my personal information was violated. What ever decision I will make will certainly not be decided whether of not the medical community will find me endearing or not.

Edited May 15, 2008 by singledad167

[willowcrown 1]

Wait a second. You're really being too confrontational for your own good. As I said in my message to you, I wanted you to take my opinion as just that - an opinion.

You're right, it was my choice to share my decision with the people in my life that I would need support from. It is your choice not to. I just think you are being a bit dilusional to think that no one will notice that you're loosing weight. What were you planning on telling folks when they ask about your weight loss - because they always do?

My point about "endearing" yourself to the medical community was misconstrued. I merely meant to infer that if I sued a doctor for something, or threatened to do so, I sure wouldn't want him/her to operate on me.

That's my 2 cents.

[Jachut 487]

What I would do is raise it with her. I'm not sure I'd want to get a single mother fired either, afterall, her kids didnt do anything. But that is just so unacceptable. If I wasnt going to let her superiors know then I'd surely be letter HER know what I thought!

[FeliciaLevy75 0]

I just had to say this... Willow, you are now one of my personal heroes. :smile:

Very well said, and fabulous advice!

The situation is not comfortable. However, and I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant. From one big girl to another, do you believe that people at your church, work, etc. don't know that you are...well, fat?

What difference does it really make if people know you are considering or have had Lap Band surgery? You are acting like trying to improve your health is a shameful thing that needs to be kept private.

From someone who is newly banded, I can tell you that it's no "magic bullet"; I'm working my butt off! I would use the opportunity to "flip the script" on this gadfly and if someone mentions it to you say, "Yes, I am considering Lap Band surgery. It's a drastic step but I believe it will help me acheive my personal health goals." Then smile as you deliver the final, disarming but sincere zinger..."thank you so much for your concern; it means so much to me to know that you care!"

I personally haven't hid a thing from anyone - not my coworkers, family or friends. It was that right thing to do. Everyone has been like my personal cheerleaders.

As a manager of a large dental practice, I would immediately terminate any employee who was divulging personal info to outside sources. You should schedule a meeting with the doc and the office manager. Ask them what they plan to do about the situation and insure that they follow up. Trying to sue the doc or the office is *not* the way to endear yourself to medical community, trust me. You'd be hard pressed to find a doc that would take you on after that.

Good luck!

:party:

[Coco6399 0]

This is just my two cents worth, but I would be highly upset if someone told my medical information to my friends or family without my consent. I guess the facts of your surgery would have come out eventually when you began to loose the weight, however it's your decision to tell how you are loosing it not hers or anyone elses. I think you should call the office manager and set up an appointment to discuss this with them. If the facts come to light that the woman in your church gave out this information, she should be fired. I don't see what you will gain by suing the doctor's office because of a big mouth employee. I'm sure they train everyone on the HIPPA laws. Calm down and take it one step at a time. just remember you are doing this for your health and don't let this stop your from pushing on to your goal of being banded. Good luck to you.

[MacMadame 81]

I also doubt you have a basis to sue. But I think the woman needs some sort of disciplinary action at work. Someone who would do that really shouldn't be working in a doctor's office. Not to mention, if she did it to you, she's probably done it to others.