Who has kept it a secret?

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

I was too excited to keep my mouth shut, everyone and their mama knows, I'm not ashamed!

[luvinke 0]

Hi Tyler!

I kept my surgery a secret from everybody except my husband and kids because I didn't want to have to deal with all the people who just don't understand. I didn't want the stares, the negative comments, all the questions,etc. I like to keep my life kind of private. I share info on an as needed bases and to me that is not something that everybody needs to know. I don't want to hear from the people that think my weight should fall off because I am banded (those are the ones that are not educated on the band and don't know that we still have to work to lose weight). The list goes on. Some of my family members have negative things to say about the band or people that they know have or are considering the band so its easier for me to keep it secret. Don't get me wrong I love my band and I wouldn't trade it for the world but I don't feel the need to shout it out for all to here. When I need to talk about something related to the band I come to this site as my bandmates are here and will listen to me and give me sound advice. Best of luck to you!

[bigunc 0]

Tyler as a obese male 46 yrs of age I couldn't care less who knows and who doesn't. I have had serious health issues for the past year that required three hospitalizations. At my highest I weighed 451lbs last April. I made the decision to have the Lap Band surgery last August for my family and me.

I have had nothing but support from family, friends and co-workers. In the last year I have two co-workers and a personal friend that has begun the Lap band journey since I had my surgery. I have also given some info out to about 6 others who ask me about Lap Band surgery.

It is a personal preference to tell people or not. You do what is best for you and your family and try not to worry what others may think. I have heard so many negative comments about my size my whole life that if some one wants to say something stupid now, more power to them. I don't care what they think. My kids tell all their friends that they won't be able to call me Big Unc for much longer. They are so proud of me and that's what matters to me.

I would like to share one more thing before I go. I had a NSV yesterday that wasn't planned. As I was walking past my Daughter she hugged me and said "Pop, I can finally get my arms completely around you for the first time in my life". I had never really thought about it but she was right. I can't explain how great I felt at that exact moment in time.

Life is Great!

[jfran 0]

I haven't told any of my family (mom's side). My mom and dad know of course, but other than them and a couple of close friends, I don't tell anyone; however I have told some complete strangers and that felt great! My family sees me losing this weight and has never once questioned me. I tell them good nutrition and exercise...which is true and they are fine with that explanation. I am so close to goal now that I am starting to plan my plastic surgery and I have told my fam about that. They are being really supportive..maybe they would have been supportive about the surgery but at this point I just don't see any reason to tell them.

Its a personal decision and in my view it just wasn't any of their business. Good luck with your surgery and your decision to tell or not to tell.

[DaisyMay 1]

I agree with the others who said it's a very personal decision and one you need to make and be comfortable with. Personally, I have told everyone and haven't worried about what anybody thought about my decision (although so far all have voiced support). I just didn't want to have to keep track of who knew and who didn't! Good Luck!

[YoungNy 1]

I have told all my close friends and imediate family. I just told a few co-workers today, only because I trust them and I know they will wonder where I am, when I go missing for 2 weeks. I want to surprise my extended family. And I just don't trust anyone else.

[tricia-j 1]

My friends and family all know but I didn't tell anyone at work except my boss and the HR person. I just don't think they need to know.

[singledad167 0]

Doesn't look like I'm going to have much of a choice on the matter. I'm not even banded yet, I have told no one in my family, but a church member who works at the doctors office told another church member and so on. I got a call out of the blue from a co worker, who knows someone from church, and asked me when I was having my surgery! I realize that patient information is private, and not for public gossip, and I undestand how much trouble I can get her in. I won't even go back to church because it's very embarassing. I'm not sure what I'm going to do right now. I'm very upset!

[aubrie 6]

the church member who works at the doctor's office and let the cat out of the bag, BROKE THE LAW. Not only state and federal law, but as a "Christian", she pretty much broke rules there too.

[Ann D 0]

Hi all,

I have only told a handful of people. My mom told her side of the family, against my wishes. Oh well they never liked me anyway. I don't care.

I've told my sisters and sister in law who is also interested in it and my step-daughter had the surgery as well so she knows.

As for work only a few very close people know. I had to tell a couple of them due to the work I do, someone has to know just in case.

Fortunately I had my gallbladder out a few months before I got the lapband so I blame my eating habits on that. No one questions me.

[Fdiljn 0]

Thanks for starting this thread. It is a question that I have been struggling with since I began the research. I am a private person and would like to tell no one but my husband but I am not sure that will be possible as many of you have demonstrated by your stories. Reading them makes me feel better since I now realize that I am not strange for wondering about "who" I should tell and that it really does not matter "who" knows.

[gardengrl 0]

PBPunisher- Oh my goodness! :hurray: I can't believe that person actually told someone else in your church. It is breaking the law and if you're too embarrassed to even face going back to that church, you need to report her to your surgeon. It is unethical and totally inexcusable. We have to sign HIPAA docs everytime we go to a doctor's office for this very reason. I personally don't even leave my name at the front desk since anyone who walks in can see who signed (way to be accountable, medical offices). For her to violate your privacy like that needs to be addressed. I am a Christian and I have told the people in my woman's group since I know that they will support me (mentally and physically) but it's still MY right to tell who I want to know. I'm a lot more open about it than most, I think, but she had absolutely no business passing on your medical information. Who else has she done this to? I am so not trying to raise your stress levels but you are going through major surgery and need to know that you can TRUST the surgeon and the office which you are going to be dealing with for many years to come. Good luck! (BTW - you're still making the right step in getting banded!):cry_smile:

[Ann D 0]

gardengrl,

My doctor only has you sign in with your first name and it's on a sticker and as soon as they pull your file, they peel the sticker off the board that had your name on it and throw it away.

[Tyler883 0]

its not that I care what other people think, I have no problem swimming in public or going to the gym.

But, I was thinking that since I was paying for the operation I might as well go for maximum value for my dollar....I thought that it would be a credit to me at work, if everyone thought I lost the weight without surgery.

[kaytiebugs 0]

I'm with you. There's some people in my family I'm not even telling. I think I'll just say the docs finally got the right combo with my pcos and hypothyroid scripts. lol

I've told a few people that I'm going to do it and I don't like there response.... so I've stopped. The only opinions that matter at this point is my husbands and my mothers. They are the ones I can go to and talk about it. I might tell a couple of close friends (that know the hell I've been through with my weight and have watched me eat like a rabbit and work out constantly with no loss).

My biggest thing is I'm just tired of hearing the whole "Oh, your horomones will balance out, you've just gotta find the right medications." or "Well my friend soinso is a personal trainer blah blah blah"....... I've been to a trainer. I've taken every pill under the sun. I've worked myself half to death and still can't lose more than 10 pounds. Even my doc said between having PCOS and hypothyroidism it's going to be REALLY hard to lose weight. She's the one that suggested I look into a lap band.

So... yeah... I won't be telling anyone. But at the same time I can't help but wonder what people will think, like "Why did she stay fat for four years then out of nowhere she dropped a ton of weight, why didn't she do it sooner???"

I don't care what my coworkers think, and my boss knows about it because they know my health problems have messed with my ability to be at work and stuff.