Who has kept it a secret?

[Tyler883 0]

Hi, I have already made the phone call, and I'm planning on going to TLBC to be lap banded.

I was wondering if any of you have chosen to keep your lapband a secret?

Here's a possible reason, why I was considering keeping it a secret:

- I could be known at work as

" Tyler the guy who lost tons of weight and is looking great. he has really found a new and bright outlook on life, he's the guy to have on your team "

or if I tell them about the band, I could be known as

"Tyler, the lap band guy that lost tons of weight....but do you know why he hasn't lost that last 50lbs? it because of his bad eating habits....last month I saw him eat a hamburger"

---------------------------------

I know what you are thinking...not everyone is that shallow, right? But, I'm paying big bucks for this operation, should I go for maximum advantages?

I'm being sincere about this, and i would apreciate and respect opinions for or against this idea.

Thank you

Tyler

[susieq321 31]

Hi, I have already made the phone call, and I'm planning on going to TLBC to be lap banded.

I was wondering if any of you have chosen to keep your lapband a secret?

Here's a possible reason, why I was considering keeping it a secret:

- I could be known at work as

" Tyler the guy who lost tons of weight and is looking great. he has really found a new and bright outlook on life, he's the guy to have on your team "

or if I tell them about the band, I could be known as

"Tyler, the lap band guy that lost tons of weight....but do you know why he hasn't lost that last 50lbs? it because of his bad eating habits....last month I saw him eat a hamburger"

---------------------------------

I know what you are thinking...not everyone is that shallow, right? But, I'm paying big bucks for this operation, should I go for maximum advantages?

I'm being sincere about this, and i would apreciate and respect opinions for or against this idea.

Thank you

Tyler

Tyler,

I am a TLBC bandster and I tell some people and don't tell others.... it varies it is my choice if someone sees me after not seeing me for a few years I just say thank you for the compliments and I ate well and moved my body more and ate a lot less... all of that is true....

My close friends know, I tend not to hide being banded but I also don't shout it from the roof tops. People reactions will surprise you and who supports you and doesn't support you will really surprise you!

I know people who told no one but it is harder.

Good luck

Heather

[gardengrl 0]

First of all, congratulations on making the decision. It's a big change but a good one! I think it depends on the people/situation. I am telling some, esp. those I need to have support from. I'm also choosing not to tell everyone since I also think there might be some out there who will think I am taking the "easy" (yeah, right) way out and haven't just tried hard enough (grrr...). I can see your perspective and if you are ok with it, then that's what matters!

Good luck!

[babbs3772 1]

I say - and I quote my long passed away grandmother "who gives a rat's who ha?" its your decision and it is such a personal one - the only one who needs to be sure is you :)f

I personally have told my co-workers, I have not told my husbands family yet, have told my side a little, and have told only two close friends. Our close "husband wife" friends do not know - simply because I want to surprise them

Don't worry, if you tell them fine that is fine, if you don't that is fine too, the end result will be you made a wonderful, informed, personal and life changing decision that you made, good luck to you!!! :tongue2:

I will be banded June 16th and can not wait!:smile2:

[AAA022414 13]

The people i work with have no idea i had it done...they just know i started working out quite a bit more and every once in awhile i'll throw in something about calories or something and a healthy alternative. i also have said i eat a high Protein diet =)

my family knows and only my closest friends know. For me it gets hard when my mom calls me everyday and ask me how much weight i lost...i finally had to tell her to quit. for 1 i don't weight myself everyday and sometimes i'll "gain" 2 lbs, then then a couple of days later "lose" 5. so for me that was added pressure and for me personally i really need to do it for myself first and not try to meet the high expectations of others...not everything always goes as planned. it's not an easy process and it takes getting used to and it takes time to break old habits.

so my advice....do what's right for you...

[Michee 2]

I have kept mine a secret........

Here are my reasons

It's no ones f** ing business that I have a lapband

once you tell you cant "untell". Only 3 of my friends know, because the clinic insisted I get picked up after surgery and NOT go home by cab.

If I chose to tell more friends, I will have to ask THEM to keep it a secret from others, which is not entirely fair.

Good luck with your decision

[Cadets71 1]

I have been very selective in who I have told. No friends know (I just didn't want to deal with all the questions, including "how much weight have you lost". My husband, sister and Mother know (That's the sum total of my core family). I am retired so I don't have to worry about the work place. I just wanted to keep this private - it's my personal journey and I didn't want a lot of banter from the sidelines. :smile2:

[Tyler883 0]

I am really sorry for starting another thread on the same topic. If the moderators see this post, could you please merge my thread into the larger thread?

Thank you

Tyler

[beanbean 1]

hi tyler, i don't get on for surgery until may29th, but i also was selective to those i told. i just figured that with such a life changing decision, my family should know just out of respect, love and consideration for their place in my life. also when i go over their homes, i don't have to lie about why i can't eat a whole mean. as someone mentioned it will really surprise you who is supportive and who isn't...but the bottom line is that it's your choice who you want to tell. i don't my dad, my sisters, my brother, and four of my friends. i also told them so i can have people to take care of me afterward. lol

[Onnie67 0]

Hi, I have already made the phone call, and I'm planning on going to TLBC to be lap banded.

I was wondering if any of you have chosen to keep your lapband a secret?

Here's a possible reason, why I was considering keeping it a secret:

- I could be known at work as

" Tyler the guy who lost tons of weight and is looking great. he has really found a new and bright outlook on life, he's the guy to have on your team "

or if I tell them about the band, I could be known as

"Tyler, the lap band guy that lost tons of weight....but do you know why he hasn't lost that last 50lbs? it because of his bad eating habits....last month I saw him eat a hamburger"

---------------------------------

I know what you are thinking...not everyone is that shallow, right? But, I'm paying big bucks for this operation, should I go for maximum advantages?

I'm being sincere about this, and i would apreciate and respect opinions for or against this idea.

Thank you

Tyler

honestly, i have only told those very close to me and who matter a great deal to me what i am doing. I have not discussed it with many many of my family member for the reason you have said...i don't want to hear the negative comments nor do i want to be told again that if i had the will power this i would not have this weight problem. My brother nor most of my inlaws have no idea. I did tell my best friend, my sister in law (she loves me unconditionally) and a couple of good friends..

is there any reason anyone at work would need to know?? If not, then NO i would not tell...

:smile2:

[newhope4me 0]

I completely understand! I have kept it a secret. Besides hubby, my kids and one co-worker, no one knows. The one co-worker that knows is the chef where i work, and he hooks me up with the foods i can eat, so people see me "eat" and no one realizes i'm not eating the foods i was eating.

I was (almost put "am", but no more!) a yo yo dieter, so i think everyone at work got used to me losing only to gain it back. as i've lost some weight so far, no one except 2 people have said anything, because i'm sure they are thinking, "she's gonna gain it back"

i don't want to be seen as the failure, thats one reason. the other reason is because another co-worker had the procedure, and she was met with a lot of negativity. not really to her face i dont think. but i know my self esteem couldnt even think about what people were saying about me. there are times when i do think that people know and i wonder what they are saying, even though i know no one does.

maybe after i've met my goal and proven i can stay there, i might mention to some how i did it. but that will be my decision when i get closer.

[sugrbear 1]

I was banded in March and I made the decision not to tell anyone except my husband because bless his soul, he handed me the cash to do this. But I talked to him about keeping this between us and other bandsters and that is it. I feel like I have the personal pressure of wanting to succeed because of the finances involved, if it isn't the right thing for me, it won't be because I cheated. Next, I don't have much family, those I have love me unconditionally and would be sad they aren't here to support me right now. they all live 1700 miles away. The honest truth is, I did this because I needed a tool to help me. When and if people ask are you losing weight, and how, I can honestly say, I am working my butt off, and eating better and making better life choices. Any of us that have been banded now know how true that is. You really do work at this. I feel like the band just has made the work easier and gives me a feeling of accomplishment because it isn't coming back!!!!!!..

When my husband forgot our agreement and told the ladies that work for him and didn't tell me, I was disappointed and caught off guard the first time I went to his offices and I got, "how do you feel", "you look good", and didn't know why. I found out later, I now don't really want to go back in because I feel like they are going to be looking to see "did she loose any more", wondering if I lost enough, etc, . they are nice ladies, but It feels very odd now. I probably won't go in for a while. We will see. I will see my family in late June and that will be nice. They know when I work out I can lose weight, but now they will notice when I leave and come back in August and November I am smaller not larger. yeah You do what you are comfortable with.

Edited May 14, 2008 by sugrbear

[Enchanted 2]

I've only told my close family, two friends and one person I work with. I totally agree with the person who said once told, it's impossible to "untell."

Years ago when I told friends and extended family about low carbing, I faced all kinds of questions, comments, and judgements and ended up feeling like I needed to defend my decision and food choices. People were also watching me eat at parties, etc., and that was just weird for me.

While I need (and have) the support of the most important people in my life . . . right now, I need to focus on healing from the surgery and learning to live with the band. I don't need anecdotal information from uninformed (well-meaning?) people who have not walked in my shoes and who have never struggled with serious weight issues.

So...I may tell more people eventually...but for today, this works for me.

As an aside...I don't think of this as a secret. It's just a private matter.

[rosiered 0]

I had been considering weight loss surgery for over three years before i really did anything. In those three years i did a lot of research and talked to a lot of people. When I finally decided to do it, I had a huge support system and all my family, friends and co-workers were aware of my decision. I was banded March 6th and as of Friday lost 37 lbs and I am feeling absolutely wonderful. I have more energy than I have had in the last 25 years and I am very fortunate because everyone is very supportive and a lot of people are very excited for me.

I really don't care about anyone that has anything negative to say,

and I would much rather be the one to have told everyone what's going on than have everyone trying to figure what's really going on !

The final decision ...to tell or not to tell is an individual one.

Good luck on your journey!!!:tongue2:

[aubrie 6]

God knows I tried to keep it a secret. People have big mouths, and some are very nosey. I told my husband and kids, my best friend who had already been banded and one close business associate. I told NO ONE at work. About a month ago I was invited to a luncheon/party/ departmental celebration for someone I didn't even know. I protested but this one person kept insisting. I bring my little bandster lunch with me and figured I would just sit in the corner, eat and observe the festivities. Well a man from another department was having bypass surgery the next morning and they were having a congratulatory luncheon for him. (???? luncheon for a bypass patient? With food? He was on liquids for goodness sake!!) Well, the guy who invited me announced to everyone in the room that I had had this surgery and thought it would be nice if I could put his mind at ease and give him some assistance and support. I WAS SPEECHLESS. How rude. What an invasion of my privacy. The whole room was silent. I pulled the guy off to the side and explained I didn't have bypass surgery, but wished him well just the same. My band was a bit different from what he was going to do. It turned out he had my same doctor and lap band surgeon. I haven't seen him, but the fact is my privacy was severely invaded. I felt violated and humiliated. Not to mention PISSED OFF!! Obviously my husband's secretary had overhead him talking to me or something. she confronted me about it when I called him on the phone. I never cease to wonder at the gall of some people!!