negativity from family and friends

[cmayes 0]

I am seriously considering having lap band surgery in Mexico with Dr. Oritz. I am completely convinced that this is what I need to do; however, convincing my husband, family and friends is a different story. Did anyone else run into lots of negativity from others when considering the surgery? My husband says so simply..." just eat less and exercise more." It seems so simple to him because he is tall and thin. He has tons of energy and can eat anything he wants and not gain a pound. I, on the other hand, am only 5'1" and am quickly gaining more and more weight. I now have a BMI of 32 and am worried that if I don't do something now it will only get worse. I am frustrated with everyone for not understanding. I am a smart person, I have done alot of research, and all I want is some freakin' support from the people who are closest to me! Is that too much to ask?

[busterfang 1]

Generally you need to be about 100 pounds overweight or be under 100 pounds overweight but have a pre-existing condition like Diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. before a doctor will consider you for this surgery. If your BMI is 32 you must be about about 40-50 pounds over a healthy (average) BMI number???????

It's totally about the BMI numbers, not how much you actually want to weigh. Medically, doctors are only concerned about getting you into the healthy (average) BMI range.

That being said, if it ends up you do not get the surgery, you might try subsitituting one meal a day with Liquid Protein. A meal with about 20 grams of Protein will totally satisfy you help you lose weight. I did that for 5 weeks before my surgery and lost close to 10 pounds. I ate a normal Breakfast and dinner, cut out ALL Snacks and drank the protein for lunch (I'm sure cutting out Snacks helped!). But I found the protein satisfied me enough that I didn't even miss the snacks.

A lot of stores (WalMart, grocery stores, etc. sell protein either in powder form that you mix with Water or skim milk or liquid form). The GNC stores carry Amplify and Isopure which are both great. Also some stores carry a brand called unjury (they also have a website). They are one of the few companies who make a chicken Soup.

If you are able to qualify (medically) for the surgery, I totally recommend it - - it's changed my life and I have only been banded a month so far. But I have been able to stop all medications for Diabetes, high blood pressure, and acid reflux! If for some reason you cannot qualify, try the protein and see if that helps.

Also, if you opt for the surgery, it is important that your husband supports you as your life and diet will change forever and you will need him to buy in to your new lifestyle and it's restrictions and rewards.

I wish you loads of good luck!

--Bridget

[kathystrick 3]

You will find this is a topic that comes up a LOT here on this board. Unfortunately, sometimes those closest to us are the ones who understand us the least. Would your husband attend a seminar with you to learn more about the band and what it does? Has he seen you struggle to diet, only to lose weight and gain it all back plus more? Is it possible that he is just afraid of the change? My husband was less than supportive when I first started this journey too, but he gradually came around and realized that if we are going to grow old together and enjoy retirement one day, this is a necessity or he will be old and alone because chances are I will be dead.

Good luck to you. Let us know how things go.

[cleanteeth 1]

I don't know how old you are, but I have found with age, that the least said the better in some circumstances. If your husband (mine is also skinny and can eat and drink just about anything he wants)has watched you over the years try and fail at "diets" and "weight loss" what ever, and still has that attitude just smack him up side of the head! My husband has watched me fail for 15 years now as my weight has increased with each attempt. He has never criticized me, but also wants me to be healthy. This is about being healthy, not just weight loss. AND this is about you.. not other's opinions.

My honest opinion to you is to not talk about this to anyone other than who you know will support you, and tell you dear hubby to love you thru this.

This is a great place to keep up a support system too. Just don't talk too much outside here. I'm even telling my work that my Dr. appointments are for "female reasons". That way when I have the surgery I can have some sort of "female surgery".

Good luck to you!

Molly

[Aphrodite1984 2]

I have the exact same problem. I am going to Mexico to be banded on May 24th, and my family flipped when I told them. They have also suggested that I just go on a diet and exercise...blah blah blah. They are not supportive at all. I have found that it has helped somewhat to tell them about all of the research that I have done (If you havent done any...do some!). I gave them the names of all the doctors I researched in the area and in Mexico, and gave rates of complications, number of surgeries performed, and patient reviews for each doctor. I also gave them the risks of obesity along with the statistics of how many people re-gain the weight they've lost on a diet (plus some). When people come to you with reasons like: "it seems extreme..." or "you shouldn't go to Mexico because you can't even drink the Water there..." or "just try dieting" you can go right back at them with all of these statistics. It will make them realize that you have done your research and that you do know what you are doing. Knowledge is power, and often people are scared of what they dont know. Educate them on how the band works, and how it will affect your life. Good luck with your family....mine is starting to come around. Well, not exactly come around, but they have stopped trying to convince me not to do it. I suspect when they see the results and how healthy I become after the surgery then they will be much more supportive.

[mstrina27 0]

I am seriously considering having lap band surgery in Mexico with Dr. Oritz. I am completely convinced that this is what I need to do; however, convincing my husband, family and friends is a different story. Did anyone else run into lots of negativity from others when considering the surgery? My husband says so simply..." just eat less and exercise more." It seems so simple to him because he is tall and thin. He has tons of energy and can eat anything he wants and not gain a pound. I, on the other hand, am only 5'1" and am quickly gaining more and more weight. I now have a BMI of 32 and am worried that if I don't do something now it will only get worse. I am frustrated with everyone for not understanding. I am a smart person, I have done alot of research, and all I want is some freakin' support from the people who are closest to me! Is that too much to ask?

How much do u weigh?? Prehaps you can start to walk or workout which you will still have to do with having the lap band... try not to eat after 7pm drink plenty of Water, and cut the snacking, and fried foods out.. and you will notice a diffrence. I'm sure u have read so much about the band not being a miracle cure.. u still have to work it...

[devotion 41]

I don't want to be too harsh, but SCREW anyone who can't be supportive of you. This is a disease that could KILL you if you don't have this surgery. How anyone cannot be supportive of our decision to get banded is beyond me. That said, how I dealt with it was to deal a pre-emptive strike. I researched and researched, found studies showing that diet and excercise alone has a 100 percent failure rate over time, and the benefits of the lap-band. Since I am going to Mexico, I also researched doctors. I put all of this research in an email and to my loved ones said simply:

"Thank you in advance for your love and support. This was not an easy decision, but in the end, it was a choice for living life to its fullest, living without disease or chronic conditions, and simply, just staying alive. If for some reason you have any concerns or negagtive judgments, please keep them to yourself. I have researched every aspect of this procedure and I am well aware of its benefits, risks, complications, and believe me, the success stories far outweigh any potential complication. Please respect that this is my decision and I hope I can count on you to support me and love me as I go through this process - which is going to take a lot of work on my end. Thank you all and remember I love you very much!"

So that is what I wrote and no one, no one, has since had anything but good things to say - and I am going to Mexico too. They know it is NOT an option to give me their negative opinion (if they have one). So it has been very empowering for me to speak up.

I wish you luck and hope you can find the strength to tell your loved ones to give you the space to make your own decision and I hope that that they will love you without condition and without judgment.

Angela

[Michee 2]

Angela You Rock

Last year I quit smoking and got the lapband, to date I have lost 58 pounds. I didnt tell anyone about my plans to quit smoking or to get the band. (i had 2 tell friends about the band after I booked surgery as I needed a ride to and from clinic).

The FABULOUS thing about not relying on anyone's "support" but my own. Is that I can feel proud of my accomplishments, and I have no one to blame or praise for my successes or failures, but myself.

As the old addage says "if it is to be, then it's up to me".

Be your own Cheerleader........It feels awesome !

[devotion 41]

Michee you rock too! Wow you have lost a lot of weight, and you have done so much on your own! Be proud! I totally agree, be your own cheerleader. Best of luck to you as you continue your journey.

[cmayes 0]

Thanks for all of your support! It really is a hard decision to make on your own and like so many others I am scared to death if I do it that I'll have problems and if I don't that I'll never lose weight. To answer someone's question, I am 25 years old and I'm 5'1" and weigh slightly over 170lbs. That puts my BMI at 32. I never had weight problems until about 4 or 5 years ago and it seems that everytime I diet I just gain more weight back. I had a baby in Oct of 06 and have found it extremely hard to get back to normal as everyone knows how difficult it is to do anything with a little one around :welldoneclap: I am also struggling with depression, anxiety, and constant fatigue. I am taking anti-depressants but it has had little impact so far. I feel trapped. Another thing that makes it hard to exercise is that I have exercise-induced asthma and the extra weight I have has magnified this making it very hard to breathe while doing cardio. I am scared because diabetes and heart problems run in my family and I am too young to be feeling this crappy.

One of my biggest concerns about getting the surgery in Mexico is that I'll be so far away from my surgeon if I do have problems upon returning home (I live in Kentucky). If I have to go to the ER or something Lord knows how much that will cost and how much money will I be shelling out for plane tickets to and from to go get fills done? That is really the only thing holding me back on moving forward. I've read several posts about people having problems following their first fill - is this really common? Maybe some of you who are self-pay that opted to go to Mexico could share with me a ball-park figure that you have paid out since your surgery. Also, have any of you been able to get fills done here in the US? I have heard conflicting reports of whether US doctors will do fills on patients that received bands in Mexico.

Again, thanks to all of you for your support. I think I will sit my family down and tell them to either support me or hush up about it.

[got2gethealthy 0]

I am new to this board but read it several times a day. I am 55 with a bmi of 37. I think for me this is the hardest thing, my family's opinion of my journey. I have told no one except my husband and grown sons. My self doubts are harder for me to get over.My husband is also a "eat less exercise more person." what if i spend all this money and i cant get the surgery? what if i fail? I read the struggles of you all, the wins the set backs. even with the band it seems like it will be a lifelong war between me and food. The only thing that makes sense to me is the band helps you not to over eat (although i suppose not following the program that can happen too). It is all confusing. the only thing I know for fact is i am tired of being,thinking and apoligizing for fat ! O guess i am rambling, but i've failed sooo many times let my husband down sooo many times, i just dont want to fail. or worse be denied for the surgery. but dietitian is friday and phych next monday so for now full speed ahead...

[cmayes 0]

best of luck to you!

[ssdown 0]

I was shy ten pounds of a 40 BMI with no pre-existing conditions. I gained ten pound on purpose to get the surgery. I've read a lot of posts were some people will put weights around their ankles or put rolls of quarters in their pockets to pass the weigh-in requirements. I wish that I had thought of that! Have you received confirmation that Dr. Ortiz will do the surgery with such a low BMI, or do you have pre-existing conditions? Just curious. At any rate, I didn't tell hardly anyone about my surgery. Only a very few close supportive friends and family. Good luck with your weight loss journey. SS

[got2gethealthy 0]

thanks for you responses..I am going to a private dr my gp recommended. I have arthritis in my knees, gerd,going to be tested for sleep apnea and although cancer and diabetis runs in my family i have no signs of it. I just want more from life than this, my mom followed this path of depression and self hate until her dying day. I want more. I dont want my feet and legs to hurt, rashes in nooks and crannies,size 3x clothes. i want to walk with my husband and grandkids. one thing i know is that whether or not i can get this for me, i'll have learned a few things and just have to go another way. wish id have thought about the weights around the ankles though !! lol