I'm P'ed OFF

[ISmith 0]

:angry_smile:Today was a pretty crappy day for me, I'm exicted that I have justed finshed my 6 months of diet councling, and I telling my family and friends about these, no one seems happy about me getting the Lapband at all, people think that I'm being lazy, and all I have to do is work out, some even say your not that big, why would you do these to yourself. Nodody seems to understand about how I feel about getting these BAND put in my body. I feel stupied for telling people that I getting it done now, I wish that I would have just keep my BIG month shut. They now got me thinking a bunch of what if's:confused2: . Man I mad at myself for say anything about my surgay to people. if something goes wrong all I'm going to hear is I told you not to do it.

Sorry not a postive thread, I'm feeling bad about myself today, and I have learn from reading other people thread these is the place to get a lot of love:tt1:

[Long2BFree 12]

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. Don't be hard on yourself, you just told those that you love and care about and didn't expect them to respond the way they did but to support you. You need to do what is right for you.

[Angel_P 0]

I know exactly how you feel. My finance and sister are supportive, as is my best friend who is also having the surgery done. But there are just as many people who aren't. Recently someone who I know but don't care for too much overheard my best friend and I catching up on where we are on our requirements and asked me what we were talking about, and I said about the lap band.........then he proceeded to tell me how even though he has never had a problem with weight, when he watched his portions and cut out carbs he lost a few extra pounds......it took all I had in me to not scream! :smile: Gee.....I never thought of that one! But I try to remember that this is for me, and if they aren't for me than they are against me and I don't need them. PHEW! I also wonder if I will be able to work it and what if I fail......but then I just try to constantly think that I will succeed. I don't want to be afraid of success! Good luck, and remember to keep yourself first!

[Kathy1991 0]

Hi there, Gee, I think a bunch of us have gone through this. You and I are at about the same stage. I just finished my 6 months of pre-op. They faxed ALL my clinical stuff to the surgeon's office, etc. When I first started considering the LB, my hubby and a good friend went w/ me to the info session. I told a very few select number of folks. But....one of them, whom I think I have been supportive of in terms of weight, was not on board. I was so disappointed. I did not mention it again. Not really worth it. Bottom line, I think you are gonna get some duds. The hardest part is when it's your family. That's when it hurts the most. I hope the best for you! If you are like me, you'll be down some and up some. Take care. Ks

[stefgray 0]

It is definitely hard when people don't support you 100%. Everyone was nervous - my parents, my sister, even my husband. But, they supported me when I decided to have the surgery and all the way through my recovery. Everyone was fantastic. The only thing now is that my sister won't even acknowledge that I've done well with the band and have actually succeeded. My mom and I think there's something else going on there, but I'm not worried about it. I feel great...I look great...I DID IT! Even she has to acknowledge that I did. Maybe she's jealous...

Anyway, the moral of the story is, you have to do what you feel is right for you. It's a decision that you have to make for yourself as you're the only one who can control your destiny in this area. Don't let other people's fears, quirks, jealousies, etc, keep you from taking care of your health. You've researched it, you've done your 6 months, you're finishing up your pre-op...don't let them stop you! If after all you've been through you still feel that the band is the way to go, then the band is the way to go! Personally, I think that it's the best thing that I could have ever done for myself!

Good luck and keep your head held high!

Steph

[kathystrick 3]

Don't be so hard on yourself! I know if you are anything like the rest of us, you have gone through all the diets and exercise programs and losing just to regain. You have probably gone through every possible scenario of ways to lose without having to resort to surgery. But you know what? For some people, surgery is the only way they will ever be able to lose the weight and keep it off. That is a hard concept for some to understand. The battle to lose weight and keep it off is a long and hard fought one. The realization that surgery is the only way that is likely to ever happen for you is also a difficult one, IMO. You know why you made the decision and you know why being healthy is so important to you. Making other people understand those reasons is not important. A year from now, when you have your band and are well on your way to reaching your goal, it won't matter how you got there.

I see around the boards that a lot of people have to deal with the comment about "taking the easy way out". We all know that is so untrue. We still have to diet and exercise, just like anyone else who wants to lose weight. The difference? We can do it without feeling hungry all the time! Good luck and stay strong!

[cleanteeth 1]

What you have posted is the reason that I'm not telling anyone. My husband (who is 100% behind me) and 2 close friends are the only people I've told. Even my doctor appointments I've blown off as "female problems" That way when I have the surgery I can be off for a week without alot of questions.

You have to realize there are several reasons that people react negatively to you. Some will be jealous, some just don't understand, and some people are just negative.

I'm so sorry that you have to go thru this on top of a very hard decision. None of us here take this decision lightly, and I'm sure that it's hurtful to hear negative thoughts. Just keep strong, quit talking about it and keep your eye on the goal!

Remember this is about yourself and getting healthy!

Good luck to you!

Molly

[Kat56 0]

I don't think that I could add anymore than what others have posted for you, especially Molly's post.

All of the input that you have gotten has been great, I think that the people who say things like "why are you doing that to yourself" have no clue at all as to the procedure, the benefits of being healthy and the ease of the surgery.

I am disabled, I have had alot of surgery due to a horrid car wreck, I have diverticulitis and had to wear the colostomy bag, then have it reversed, to me, this surgery equals a dentist appointment and I am not kidding anyone at all, it's not so invasive as most people think.

Remember the fact that you are doing this is for your "health" benefits. I don't think that alot of people know all of the medical problems associated with obesity, I learned alot at my Seminar and it scared me.

I would not talk about it anymore to anyone but one or two close friends, the others will forget as you converse about different topics. And talk to us here about this situation!

Good Luck & Blessings,

Kat

Edited May 10, 2008 by Kat56

[waikiki 0]

Sorry you are having a hard time.. I had a similar situation with my mother. She wasn't supportive at first mainly because she just knew it was surgery. She knows I have tried most of my life to diet and have done good and bad. I got her to go to a support group meeting along with my sister, brother, husband and my 14 year old son.. after the meeting they asked questions about the surgery, asked questions of the post banders and walked away with a different attitude.

I now have a very supportive team behind me and it just took them learning more about the surgery than they already knew..

I hope your support team turns around after they see how fabulous you are doing post op!! :welldoneclap:

[juliegeraci 7]

I am sorry there is so much negativity around you. Moving forward I would only surround myself with those who are positive including this forum. This decision was yours and its a very personal one. Come to the boards to post as often as possible. I am really glad you made the decision to change your life. Good luck.

[Pix 4]

Don't listen to the nay sayers. They just don't understand what you are personally going through, even though they like to think they do. I was blessed with the support group I have. Even those I don't consider close after the initial "but you don't need it you are fine the way you are" comments they backed me 100%. Well maybe not 100% but after the initial negativity I told them to stuff it, its my life my body and I want this plain and simple.

Just tell them to stow it, its your life, your body and YOUR choice plain and simple. Not theirs, not joe schmo's down the street. Tell them they are either supporting you or they are cut off until AFTER the procedure. Maybe not in those words, but tell them plain and simple you don't want to hear crap from the peanut gallery just positive thoughts and well wishing.

[sara7venus 0]

I'm so sorry to hear about your disappointing experience with your loved ones.

I guess you could say that I don't really care *what* people think, because it really is JUST for me. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Besides, people who do not struggle with weight in the same way as you or I will never understand what it's like to feel trapped like this. Also, sometimes the people who love us the most have the hardest time wanting us to change. Change is something that humans are extremely adverse to. When you lose a lot of weight, some people who have always gravitated toward you when you were overweight may find it very difficult to be supportive. It's pretty much human nature.

I have only told my husband, my parents, and my brother, so far. Oh - and my two upline managers at work, just so they know (even though they're both women who struggle with weight). Everyone so far has been very supportive. I have not told my two best friends yet. I think I might tell people after the surgery (and especially after I lose a lot of weight). At this point, I don't think it's important to tell anyone but the most important people - the people who may be affected the most.

I am currently in my 7th day of the pre-op liquid diet, and whenever I feel hungry, I just tell myself that it's totally worth it. The long-term positive effects of this surgery FAR outweigh (no pun intended) the risks or negative effects.

Good luck with everything. People who really love you (and I mean *really* love you) will support you. You might be surprised at who comes around to support you, too.

[aimerus 0]

You know, it really amazed me some of the things people said when I told them the news!

1. That's cheating

2. Now you will look more normal

3. You don't need that

4. Try Weight Watchers one more time

and so on....

People are funny. Just follow your heart.

[kornecjw 0]

I'm Joan and have been pre-op for 2 months. I need to loose 30 lbs before I can have my Lapband Surgery. I have a very close friend who had it a year ago and she has lost 100+ lbs and looks . . . .beautiful!

I want that too, but have an internal conflict with myself about my ability to do this. I've had lost 18 of the 30 lbs and have regained 4 lbs while really trying to do well. I'm walking and journaling and I know it can be Water retention (I have been adding salt to cooking lately). But it seems that I am where I always get to on every and any diet program I ever start! Down 15, up 15+. I am afraid to give up because I hit 282 lbs when I finally got to the doctors doing just this. Down 15 lbs, up 15+. Over and over and over again! Some days I am so positive and excited about loosing weight that I feel that I don't need the LapBand. Other days I want to eat everything and anything and my mind tells me it doesn't matter because I can't succeed. I can't even begin to eat Pasta because once I start, I will eat the entire box!

Here's my question. If I eat because I like the taste, not because I'm hungrey, will the Lapband stop me? Some days I feel so in control and others like a giant slug!

Joan

[BrendaLH 0]

I understand where your coming from because I was at a Bariatric Support group last night and had to hear numerous people bash the band. You need to realize that this is for you and no one else. Everyone has an opinion its up to you to search within yourself and determine if this is for you. I have been overweight all my life and really had no support for my decision but I went through with it and have no regrets. The good thing about the band is it is reversable and they can take it out, but with the Gastric Bypass that is not an option. I want you to focus on you and your choice and try to close your ears to everyone not supporting you.

before classes 06/24/07 316lbs.

banded 01/24/08 292lbs.

current 06/11/08 251.5