Brand new here & need help

[cwmom98 0]

Hi all. My name is Ann & I live in VA. I had wls July 2007. I weighed 246 on the day of surgery. Yesterday I weighed 213...today 215...2 months ago I was 205! Since my surgery I have been going this all alone. I've been a member of another wl forum & as much as I have grown attached & fond of those members, I am the lone bander in a sea of bypassers.

I am so frustrated & dissappointed & am beginning to wish I'd never had this surgery. I don't know what I'm doing wrong & feel I should have at least be below 200 by now. I have the usual comoridities such as type 2 diabetes & high cholesterol but my biggest concern, aside from my weight, is I have a very weak heart. Those of you in the medical profession will understand an ejection fraction of only 20%. I just had my 4th defib/pacer implanted a few weeks ago. It is because of my heart that I HAVE to get this weight off. My quality of life was plummeting quickly to the point that I began making my funeral plans & deciding to whom I wanted my things to be distributed to. Since the surgery & now the new ICD, I am feeling better physically...at least I'm upwardly mobile...but I still have a long ways to go.

I chose to go to a surgeon that is a bit of a distance away for safety's sake...I don't trust the local group... but because of gas prices & the distance I am just not able to drive there often for support groups, etc. So, as I said before, I've been flying solo. I called my surgeon's office this morning, after a small crying jag, & told them how I was feeling. I have an appt with the Nut. & my surgeon on the same day but that won't be until June 11th.

Folks, I have yet to meet with, speak to, or even see ANYONE that has had success with this tool. I'm feeling very alone & vulnerable & such a failure. I am hanging my heart out on my sleeve in hopes that ya'll can help me along on this journey. I am no quiter...I'm a fighter...but everyone has their limits & I think I'm nearing mine. Depression doesn't come easy to me but it's rearing it's ugly head at me nearly everyday now & I just plain need help & guidance from someone who's been there, done that. So I am reaching out to you. Can you help? Thanks for letting me vent.

[gilliebean 1]

First you need to relax a little bit the stress is bad for your heart and your diet. Try to remember to eat healthy so keep fruit and veggies in the house if you feel like snacking snack on that. Even tho you didn't get your surgery done at you local hospital you may still beable to go to there support group meetings and meet with other bandsters. You are not alone and you came to the right place. Please do not give up on yourself. How much are you eating? Whats your age? the older you are the harder it is to lose. I am also sure that being laid up having surgery is not helping your diet. It also might do you good to read threw all the post here cause there is great inspiration here. There is a lady who was on a plataue for like two years and she is now losing once again so don't get discouraged get impowered. I hope this helped atleast a little bit.

[*susan* 1,709]

Hi Ann, and welcome to LBT! We are glad to have you join us.

First off, you are not alone. There are many of us here who have not lost as quickly as we had hoped. I was banded two years ago and lost nothing, in fact gained a bit, over a year's period and have just now gotten back to my sweet spot and am losing again. So, what I am saying is, don't get too upset, it may not be working as you had hoped right now, but it still can work for you.

Is the reason you have started gaining due to the need for a fill? Or, do you still feel restriction? Sometimes, just a minor tweak in fill can make a huge difference and help get you back on track. Another thing that has helped me that I swore I would not do is to start tracking everything I put in my mouth. There are things I was eating that I thought was healthy, such as a wrap from Jason's deli, that I have now learned has close to 500 calories. Do you track your calories? If not, you may want to do so in order to help you get a better idea of what exactly you are eating, and the nutritional value of it. I am using www.thedailyplate.com and love it. A couple of other good sites are www.sparkpeople.com and www.fitday.com .

Also, try posting in the your state's local forum here on LBT. Perhaps you will find some other bandsters that are from your area that you can meet up with to get some support.

[MerryHearted 20]

Well, you're in a new place now -- there are a ton of people on this board who have been successful with the band. I go to my support group meetings and there are a lot of people there who are successful with the band -- i.e. have met their goal weight.

I consider the band successful for me even though I'm not at goal, although I'll eventually get there. Without it I'd be at least 350 lbs by now.

I think the advice you got was good -- you need to track everything you eat, including any drinks with calories. If you eat the appropriate bandster portion (2-3 oz of meat and 1/2 c of produce) are you physically hungry in less than 3-4 hrs? If so, you probably need a fill.

You can do this! And yes, there are head issues that the band doesn't fix -- emotional eating, head hunger... counseling can help with that, or something like "The Beck Diet Solution" book which is basically cognitive therapy without the therapist. :smile:

Don't give up -- the band does work, and it can work for you too. :smile:

[cwmom98 0]

Thank you ladies for your responses. I didn't know that there were forums here for specific states so I'll search that out.

I used to track my food intake but I guess I just got side-tracked with all the other health stuff I've had to deal with lately. As for fills, I saw my surgeon a couple weeks ago & he removed .2cc because I was having severe problems with food getting stuck followed by foamy vomiting (sorry to be so graphic). As for portions, I was originally told to eat until I felt "comfortably full." Well, that turned out to be a lot more than I expected so I backed off of that idea. I do take a minimum of 30 minutes to eat & I chew my food like crazy, but still it was getting stuck. I see him again next month & I suspect we'll have a lot to talk about.

While I'm still having a cruddy day, I think I'll just allow it for today only. Tomorrow's a whole new day with lots of opportunities. I'm going to go spend time with my daughter, newly graduated son-in-law, & my 2 grandsons, as well as my sons. I wish you all a very happy Mother's Day!!!

[buchholzc 0]

Hi Ann,

Don't be so hard on yourself. Your picture shows a beautiful lady! Is that really you? Anyways I was banded 5 years ago. Unfortunately this weight thing never gets easy. Write me and let me know what is going on with your band. Why do you think it is not working for you? I have had some rough times also. Lets share, maybe we can figure this thing out together.

Chris