Come out of the band failure closet!

[brandyII 9]

BrandyII, I have to agree with everything Jachut has said and I really hope this is the answer for you. Now that you've had a little unfill, and are able to eat more normally, maybe this will be the turning point for you. I'd also like to add some suggestions of my own, and a couple from my doctor:

From my doctor:

* If you aren't hungry in the mornings, don't eat! Don't try sticking to the "must eat breakfast" thing - save those calories for when you are hungry in the afternoons or evenings.

* Use a child sized plate to measure your portions. Don't pile anything up, but if it fits on the plate without piling up, you can eat it guilt free.

* Eat only until you are not hungry any more. Stop after each bite and assess - when you stop feeling hungry, not when you think you are full, stop eating and take the plate away. You can always go back and have the other half of your child sized plate later when you feel hungry again.

From me:

* If you have a sweet tooth, plan for it. Buy bags of those sugarfree sweets or mints; you can snack on those all day without taking in calories.

* Plan to have a dessert or sweet treat every night, but make it a sugar free and/or low fat one. My favourites are the fat free chocolate drinks like Chocolatte from Jarrah (60 cal, 1.5g fat) and the Diet Creme Caramel from Nestles. When you know you can look forward to a sweet treat all day, it is not as hard to forego the unplanned ones.

* Don't buy icecream or Cookies in large quantities. Those are way too easy to overindulge in when they're in the house. Look for low fat options in single serves and factor the calories/fat into your allowance for the day.

Above all, include fibrous foods into each meal, such as fresh salads, vegetables and whole grains.

Good luck with everything and I hope that you will soon feel you are back on track and will see the results on the scale.

Thanks Fanny,

We don't have a lot of the types of drinks you guys have in Australia or Great Britain. I buy about 5 different British Home magazines every month at the book store so I know! I still have to talk to my sister because she stayed in Australia for about 10 days when her friend's husband was working there to ask her about "milo".

I'm still trying and am familiar with most of those suggestions but for whatever reason it's been a real struggle for me but thanks for your support, Nancy.:thumbup:

[green 6]

The band works well for those people who suffer from Portion Control issues. People who have a sweet tooth fare less well with the band. I was lucky in that I fell into the first category. I was a glutton and the band put up a physical barrier against my gluttony. I ended up losing the 50 lbs that I needed to shed over a ten-month period and with little pain. I was lucky in that I have never liked sweets. Folks who enjoy sweets have a much bigger battle ahead of them, one that will never be entirely resolved without using a lot of personal will power.

[brandyII 9]

Green,

I wish I knew that 9 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too bad you can't write the brochure for the Lap Band company so everyone knows that info prior to surgery, brandyII.

Edited May 10, 2008 by brandyII

[green 6]

Green,

I wish I knew that 9 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too bad you can't write the brochure for the Lap Band company so everyone knows that info prior to surgery, brandyII.

That really is a drag. That knowledge would have saved you a lot of frustration and relieved you of all feelings of failure. I must confess that I didn't know this when I paid for the operation. At the time I just felt so fed up with being fat that I cut a cheque, and got the band. It was my dumb good luck that the band solved many of my problems and that I had an easy time recovering from the surgery.

[Jachut 487]

I agree, to a point, I have a sweet tooth and not a lot of personal willpower when it comes to it. If you can get the *balance* of your lifestyle right - which is easier said than done, I know - then you dont have to eat perfectly for ever after to stay thin.

Personally, that's why I've been willing to put what I have into exercise. To me, its easier to run 10kms nearly every day than it is to control my eating habits enough to stay thin without lots of exercise.

[brandyII 9]

I agree, to a point, I have a sweet tooth and not a lot of personal willpower when it comes to it. If you can get the *balance* of your lifestyle right - which is easier said than done, I know - then you dont have to eat perfectly for ever after to stay thin.

Personally, that's why I've been willing to put what I have into exercise. To me, its easier to run 10kms nearly every day than it is to control my eating habits enough to stay thin without lots of exercise.

I have a brother that runs marathons and he's 5 years older and another that bike races, 6 years older. My body unfortunately was not built for running even when I was thin I did not make a good runner. I can walk on the treadmill that's about it but still it's difficult at my size to walk fast enough because like I said before I'm like a candy apple, skinny legs and large upper body. And don't tell me to go swimming I won't! Not with this body anyway. Thanks Nancy:ohmy:

[brandyII 9]

That really is a drag. That knowledge would have saved you a lot of frustration and relieved you of all feelings of failure. I must confess that I didn't know this when I paid for the operation. At the time I just felt so fed up with being fat that I cut a cheque, and got the band. It was my dumb good luck that the band solved many of my problems and that I had an easy time recovering from the surgery.

Well you won the lottery, I'm not saying it's not helping at all at this point, could be worse. I just was only thinking it would cut down the portions I could eat but didn't realize there were a lot of foods I could still eat and without the "willpower" and I really hate that word, I'd fail. It was much easier to lose weight when I was in my 20s and the older I get the harder it is and I kind of have to deal with it now. Who knows maybe if I had known prior I still would have done it. thanks brandyII:mellow:

[Fanny Adams 7]

The band does work better for people with Portion Control problems rather than a sweet tooth, but it can help the sweet eaters too. I'm hoping that now that you have your fill right (ie not too tight) you will be able to eat enough solid food to satisfy your hunger. I have found that when I'm not "using up" all of my willpower simply fighting the hunger pangs, I have enough "left over" to put towards making good choices. It's when I get really hungry that I lose all self-control.

Before you write yourself off as failing or give up on the band as being not right for you, try to work with it now that it is operating as intended. You know now that wasn't happening for you before, so that's not your fault or your failure, just unfortunate. It's now Water under the bridge and you have an opportunity to start afresh.

My advice (for what it's worth, and it IS only an opinion) would be for you to keep your restriction level light, make sure you fill up on plenty of fresh healthy foods and plan to include sweet stuff in your daily allowance, either with sugarfree sweets or low fat/sugar free Desserts or both. Plan to have "good" treats, so you can look forward to eating them guilt-free and plan not to have "bad" treats easily available to you. I don't know for sure if this approach would work, but I think it is worth a reasonable try.

Good luck!

[brandyII 9]

Thanks Fanny,

It's good advice, sometimes harder than other times to deal with but I'm also feeling extra stress at the moment because my mother in law and brother in law are coming this Thursday and staying a week with us and I'm waiting on their judgment of me which I know I shouldn't but it's made me feel even more desperate. I was thinner the last time they saw me and that was before I even planned the surgery. I know it's silly but when I feel stressed about my weight I tend to screw up more! Any extra room out there in Australia for me for just a week? LOL, brandyII

[Jachut 487]

Brandy, you have to examine what you just said to me though. Exercise is a vital part of making the band work for most people. It doesnt have to be running and it doesnt have to be swimming, but before you can say that the band isnt working for you, you do have to be able to say you've given it 100% - and exercise is at least half of that equation. Weight loss takes lots of hard exercise, big commitment to lots of hard exercise. And that's not my personal opinion, or my judgement or my view on what you should do or any sort of evaluation of you personally at all. Its just fact. If you cant/wont do the exercise then chances are the band is not going to work terribly well. Some people wing it, and are lucky but I can tell you I wouldnt have been one of them because I like my food.

This is the type of thing where I tend to get into trouble and be seen as argumentative, because now I'm breaking from support and sympathy into a bit of tough love. But it is just plain truth, and if you want I can phrase it another way. If you can put your hand on your heart and say that you CANT do the exercise and WONT do the exercise then you're probably right, the band is not the *best* choice for you personally.

I really dont mean that to be unsupportive, its just the way it is. Healthy weight loss takes exercise. Would you truly rather have another surgery than to do it?

Believe me, I'm not a good runner either. I suck at it. My times are prehistoric, I battle through a chronic back condition and run with some degree of pain at all times. I hate swimming, it wrecks my hair so I wont do that. I dont have time for the gym, I know I'd find too many excuses there. So running was what I chose for conveniece, but its not the only choice.

Really think about it, please. It could be the part of the equation that you're missing. How simple would that be, if it worked?

[brandyII 9]

I'm not saying I never exercised, I just kind of gave up when it didn't seem to be making a difference in my weight loss. I was walking 45 minutes a day on the treadmill 5 to 6 days a week with no results except for thinner legs! I don't have high blood pressure and I know walking is good for me but I guess I just stopped for a while because I wasn't seeing any results was sort of in a "f it" kind of frame of mind.

I do feel better when I exercise but just have given it up temporarily. I just can't put tooo much strain on my legs by running on the treadmill because I'm very upper body heavy at the moment. I'll get back to it, I've just been a bit down about it for little while that's all. I come from a pretty athletic family and have always been somewhat athletic growing up but still overweight. Back in the days when your mom kicked you out of the house and you'd ride your bike for hours!

Plus you guys in Australia have nicer weather so you're more motivated to be out and exercising. I promise I'll get back on it, thanks Mom!

[Jachut 487]

Yes, we dont really have to stop for winter, no snow ever here in Melbourne! No rain either, groan. I'd love some rain.

[brandyII 9]

I think if I lived in Australia I'd fry!!! I guess when you don't have rain/snow you miss it a bit but it's the same here you miss the dry, warm weather! You're better off, brandyII.

[Keywestgirl 0]

Asking if I eat sweets was the first question my doctor even asked me on my first visit. The psych eval or nutritionist didn't cover this either? That's awful. But as Jachut has stated- exercise is vital to any diet at no matter what age. You just got to move at least an hour a day. My father was in his 70's and bought a stationary bike and put it in front of a TV and he knocked out 10 miles a day while watching his favorite show. He had a ton of health problems along with rheumathoid arthritis. an exercise bike just isn't so jarring to the joints. And if you have ever been to a YMCA, I did aqua aerobics. Nobody cares what anyone looks like. We are all there for a reason. I am 3 weeks post op and am going to return to the Jenny Craig program. I lost 2-4 pounds weekly over a year ago. I quit when my father became ill a year ago. When he died last year, I had regained about 40 pounds. Dieting and exercise is not the problem for me, it is maintaining the loss. The minute I stop doing what I am doing, it creeps on so much faster than it comes off. That diet actually had really good food and you could have one of their sweets (desserts) each night. It was a small portion but nonetheless, you didn't really feel as if you were missing out. W/W is okay but too much having to figure out the points in everything I ate. I would exercise to work off 3 points just so I could use the points to eat something. Crazy..... I know. Set your goals small. One pound a week is over 50 pounds a year. You are stronger than you think you are.:tt1:

[buchholzc 0]

Brandi,

I know exactly what you are talking about. There is so much positive talk here I think we are just afraid of sounding pesimistic. I do not want to discourage anyone becuase it could work great for them. It is something you just need to try to see if it will work for I guess. I was banded 5 years ago. When were you banded? I lost weight at first when I was afraid of what I could eat and when I was on liquids and blended foods. Who couldn't then right. I never felt like my band worked for me like I was told or thought I was being told. I may have misunderstood. I was suppose to be able to eat regular food without pain, like chicken, be done eating within 30 minutes and feel full for 5+ hours. I have had multiple fills and unfills and this never happended for me. I followed all the rules but would be told one thing at my support group and another from my doctor. The fills are expense and like I said they were never to what I thought it should be, stated above. I finally was unfilled completely because I was gaining weight and again just frustrated. I lost 40#'s the first year but have gained it back over the last 4 years. Let me know your story. I would be very interested to here it.

Chris