Come out of the band failure closet!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I agree. That's why I spend most of my browsing time in the R&R section. It's the most interesting section here (but I do try and welcome / explain things to the noobs. Especially those with 0 or 1 reply to their post)

I tend to post things here in between trips tending to my patients, so I sometimes (most of the time) have massive sentence run-on! I wasn't referring to you or Laurend with the "militant" part. I haven't seen very many truly militant bandsters on here (but I have seen a few). There are a lot of militants on OH, though. I still don't really get it. It seems like for some people the lapband defines who they are, and if you say something negative about the band, you're saying something negative about them.

I don't think it is a matter of defining who they are, I think it is something different. If the band didn't work for me it is almost a threat that the band might not work for another and that is frightening to some people. Maybe they spent all their money on a band and if it does not work they have no financial options left.

One thing I find annoying as hell is when people automatically assume that if the band did not work for someone is it because they didn't change eating habits or something similar. Sure, there is work that needs to be done but sometimes the band just really isn't doable such as in my case. I did change my eating behaviors, I overhauled my diet, I exercised my butt off, I dealt with head issues, I worked on head hunger and I lost weight but I still hated the band due to what it was doing to me. Yet I have had people tell me I didn't have a right to a revision because I am at goal. I'm self pay, btw. Or people that suggest I don't know how to chew well after 18 months and on liquids only for three months.

I think it boils down to a fear that the same thing might happen to another and that is when people come out fighting for the band.

[anonemouse 1]

I don't think it is a matter of defining who they are, I think it is something different. If the band didn't work for me it is almost a threat that the band might not work for another and that is frightening to some people. Maybe they spent all their money on a band and if it does not work they have no financial options left.

One thing I find annoying as hell is when people automatically assume that if the band did not work for someone is it because they didn't change eating habits or something similar. Sure, there is work that needs to be done but sometimes the band just really isn't doable such as in my case. I did change my eating behaviors, I overhauled my diet, I exercised my butt off, I dealt with head issues, I worked on head hunger and I lost weight but I still hated the band due to what it was doing to me. Yet I have had people tell me I didn't have a right to a revision because I am at goal. I'm self pay, btw. Or people that suggest I don't know how to chew well after 18 months and on liquids only for three months.

I think it boils down to a fear that the same thing might happen to another and that is when people come out fighting for the band.

I think that's very true. My whole position is that I hate to see someone giving up on themselves and on their band when they haven't even attempted to truly utilize their tool. To me, it's almost a slap in the face to those people who have really tried to make this work for them and still haven't had success or have had only limited success. And I know other people don't necessarily see it that way, but that is what really bothers me about this whole thing. If they've truly had problems with their band or if they've honestly got health problems that prevent them from losing weight or make it extremely difficult, I have tons of sympathy for them and you would never have seen me replying in a harsh, "get your butt in gear" fashion towards them, because that would not have been an iota of help to them. But someone that basically says "I just don't want to" or "I don't feel like it" and then wants sympathy/support for being a "band failure"? That's a whole 'nother ballgame.

[brandyII 9]

I've decided that this forum has been a crucial part of my life, maybe too much, but I'm going to ease back in. I don't think I really eased out! LOL

Of course there are those of you who have supported me from the beginning and those of you who have taunted me a bit, lol and it's all good! I guess I'm in a phase where I am still trying to find some answers and it's a little more complicated, than A + B = C and down deep I knew that and I'm now finding research on some various topics that are backing me up and I'm not "crazy" for thinking this!

I joined Weight Watchers at 21 years of age at 125 lbs because I felt in my head that the weight was coming back on and I couldn't for the life of me understand why or control it and it did 100 lbs+. At that time I didn't know what to do or where to turn and that wasn't an affective choice but as I said I didn't know what to do.

To give you a hint it has something to do with different types of fat people, different types of fat and the physiological aspects of it. One example is that a person being fat all their life is physiologically different than a person who put that same amount of weight on and an older age. It's very interesting and kind of explains the differences in why some people bodies just have a difficult time "dieting" and eventually bouncing back up the scale etc...

Anyway it's something I'm learning about now and will share some of the info as I get it. Not to preach it but if I guess I assume and we all know what that word does, but anyway I assume if information benefits me it may benefit someone else. Naturally when I find out information it may also bring out the objectors which is normal to any setting such as this forum.

Anyway I'm back but I'm going to try not to be too annoying and I'm sorry for being such a "drama queen" prior but the struggle is personal and important to me! Thanks for being patient, brandyII:smile:

[Keywestgirl 0]

Plain, I copied this from a previous post of yours.

"There are a lot of militants on OH, though. I still don't really get it." Not to be ignorant, but what is OH?

And Wasa, you spent $12,000 just on a removal? I am totally self pay also. Is that what it costs, or you spoke of a revision. (meaning just a removal)? It is just good to know these things. Also I am in awe of you and your success. You truely stand out on this forum. If you don't mind a few questions since I am a newbie, did the band cause you physical problems? I remember reading that you had to go to a liquid diet mostly. Are you okay? Knowing what you know- would you do the Band all over again? Is it worth the money you invested? I spent $17,500 which does include lifetime fills and doc visits. I just think it is the motivation and kick in the ass that I needed.

If I am getting too personal, please PM me. You are just an awesome mentor. Thank you for your time.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Plain, I copied this from a previous post of yours.

"There are a lot of militants on OH, though. I still don't really get it." Not to be ignorant, but what is OH?

And Wasa, you spent $12,000 just on a removal? I am totally self pay also. Is that what it costs, or you spoke of a revision. (meaning just a removal)? It is just good to know these things. Also I am in awe of you and your success. You truely stand out on this forum. If you don't mind a few questions since I am a newbie, did the band cause you physical problems? I remember reading that you had to go to a liquid diet mostly. Are you okay? Knowing what you know- would you do the Band all over again? Is it worth the money you invested? I spent $17,500 which does include lifetime fills and doc visits. I just think it is the motivation and kick in the ass that I needed.

If I am getting too personal, please PM me. You are just an awesome mentor. Thank you for your time.

No, $12,5 is for revision to a sleeve and band removal, not just band removal. Removal would have been $3500 but I went to Mexico. BTW, my band problems were not a surgical complication, I just don't tolerate a band and there was no way to know that before surgery. Anyone can tolerate a sleeve, it's already your stomach. Not everyone can tolerate a band. I've typically seen around $5 - $8K for removal in the US *IF* you go to your original surgeon, otherwise it is more.

Yep, the band caused many problems, band induced reflux, esophageal spasms, periodic gastritis, stoma spasms, the works. I was only on liquids the last three months after hitting goal. It could have happened before goal but nooooooooooo, not my evil little band! ;o)

Nope, I'd never do the band all over again.

My surgical costs include a lifetime of visits, fills (for the band), etc. I've only paid additional for surgery, the $12,5 for revision (usually would have been $9500) and now I have a lifetime of covered medical care again, excluding surgery. Actually, my cost for revision was $9500 since I am his previous patient he does not charge revision fees but straight sleeve fees. There were other costs unrelated to banding/sleeve.

I can't count how many times I was down there after banding and my doc spent hours with me trying to save my band and work around problems. Even with two surgeries, he didn't make much off me! LOL

Hard to say if the money for banding was worth it, I did lose 110% of my excess weight, or around 115% ... something like that but it was a hard journey, much harder in my case I think, than a sleeve. But that is what I wanted at the time because I THOUGHT I wanted the least invasive, I THOUGHT I wanted reversible. When you get to goal your perspectives make a 180. You'd give your right arm for permanent. Why in the world would anyone want reversible? I never want to regain 127#.

Edited June 13, 2008 by WASaBubbleButt

[tommaney 0]

I've decided that this forum has been a crucial part of my life, maybe too much, but I'm going to ease back in. I don't think I really eased out! LOL

Of course there are those of you who have supported me from the beginning and those of you who have taunted me a bit, lol and it's all good! I guess I'm in a phase where I am still trying to find some answers and it's a little more complicated, than A + B = C and down deep I knew that and I'm now finding research on some various topics that are backing me up and I'm not "crazy" for thinking this!

I joined Weight Watchers at 21 years of age at 125 lbs because I felt in my head that the weight was coming back on and I couldn't for the life of me understand why or control it and it did 100 lbs+. At that time I didn't know what to do or where to turn and that wasn't an affective choice but as I said I didn't know what to do.

To give you a hint it has something to do with different types of fat people, different types of fat and the physiological aspects of it. One example is that a person being fat all their life is physiologically different than a person who put that same amount of weight on and an older age. It's very interesting and kind of explains the differences in why some people bodies just have a difficult time "dieting" and eventually bouncing back up the scale etc...

Anyway it's something I'm learning about now and will share some of the info as I get it. Not to preach it but if I guess I assume and we all know what that word does, but anyway I assume if information benefits me it may benefit someone else. Naturally when I find out information it may also bring out the objectors which is normal to any setting such as this forum.

Anyway I'm back but I'm going to try not to be too annoying and I'm sorry for being such a "drama queen" prior but the struggle is personal and important to me! Thanks for being patient, brandyII:smile:

Glad to see you back, BrandyII! Please share any good books you are reading in your research. I've found that Dr. Oz's You on a Diet was very interesting because it explained multiple reasons why we eat/don't eat and why some have trouble losing weight. Plus, there are cartoon pictures! : )

I've been overweight for as long as I've had memory of myself as an individual. It would be interesting to see if there are differences regarding success of weight loss efforts between someone like myself and others who have had long periods of "normal" weight.

[brandyII 9]

Glad to see you back, BrandyII! Please share any good books you are reading in your research. I've found that Dr. Oz's You on a Diet was very interesting because it explained multiple reasons why we eat/don't eat and why some have trouble losing weight. Plus, there are cartoon pictures! : )

I've been overweight for as long as I've had memory of myself as an individual. It would be interesting to see if there are differences regarding success of weight loss efforts between someone like myself and others who have had long periods of "normal" weight.

Thanks, the one I'm reading now is called "Self Esteem Comes In All Sizes" by Carol A. Johnson and it's so good you don't want to put it down! It really nails me to a "T". I don't know if she's written any more recent books but it's still relevant today and to me. Just was written prior to the massive "WLS craze going on now. Anyway it's the first book on my lists of "to reads" and am finding some insight that I never have had before and it's almost cathartic in a way. I've come to realize that there were many issues I needed to work out prior to surgery, as you probably already know, but since I already am banded I'm using the info to help me move forward in a healthier way of life mentally, emotionally and physically, thanks brandyII:smile:

[Froggi 4]

sounds like a good book, glad it's helping you

[BJean 16]

Brandy the reason I thought many people were being vitriolic was because that is how it sounded to me.

I don't know how many times I've read posts about people who do things to get around the band. They sabbotage their band and then can't understand why they aren't losing weight.

I didn't think that you were one of those people. Maybe I didn't read enough of your posts. But I was under the impression that you were actually having problems reaching your goal and that it wasn't for lack of trying.

Lots of people have problems with the Lap Band. I think many people at LBT find that scary and they react negatively when they hear about problems because they haven't had those experiences and they just don't want to think that it could happen to them. They think if they do everything just like the doctor directs that they couldn't ever face a situation that is uncomfortable, dangerous or non-productive. I do understand why they feel that way.

But I did feel that you were reaching out for some answers and what you got was criticism. Don't take it personally. We have to understand that what people post has everything to do with their experiences and what they think and much, much less with what is happening to you or about what you're thinking.

Hang in there darlin'. You may find yourself back on track and feeling well without changing much of anything. This road is a process and it isn't the same for everyone and it is laced with lots of side trips for lots of us.

[Froggi 4]

BJean you are so awesome with words.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

BJean you are so awesome with words.

And she has more patience than most of us too. ;o)

[brandyII 9]

BJean,

Thanks and yes you are awesome with words, "big" words even. Thank God my kids dabble in Latin, lol and are much smarter than their mum!

I think some people think that I'm just not willing to diet or exercise and I want the band to do magic, well I think in the back of my mind I might but still. I've been able to lose weight before but not keep it off, I maybe one of those rare people that just can't but even if I couldn't I needed to know why! And the "why" what I'm still working on.

I've been learning a lot of information on this and it's helping me understand the physiological reasons behind fat in general it's kind of interesting too.

Thanks, you are patient as another poster mentioned but you're also a kind and intelligent person who doesn't attack for attack sake, thanks brandyII.

[sdbeachmom 1]

I hope we have moved on from the tell BrandyII how weak she is thread. After reading all those posts I was so disgusted I just turned off the computer and thought about how self righteous people can be. Telling her to go and knit or make sure she has a great exercise program, or worse yet "make those great choices" is

despicable.

If the people who made those comments could do that themselves they surely would not have needed a band or any WLS.

I belong to a support group for bandsters with about 200 folks, and there are many of us in many shapes and sizes and at different places in our journeys. Our main goal is to be supportive and cheer on the people we have this band bond with.

Never have I heard this type of bashing in all my years banded.

Here's the thing, if you have proper adjustments you will not feel hunger and cravings. Not EVERYONE can get to that point. And the struggle is the same as BEFORE you were banded, get it?? Can you remember how you felt?

But to heap shame on those that have tried everything plus, is just plain ignorant.

Take it from me we have enough shame, guilt, etc. We came here to say how we feel, not needing an "it's ok", but not needed crap like I am giving you tough love either, what a crock of crap.

Why didn't that tough love, knitting, exercising work for you all?

You should be ashamed of kicking someone when they are down. I hope you never find yourself in that spot and have these rotten things written to you.

Give someone a "kick in the butt", are you kidding me? Maybe whoever wrote that should have done that to herself and then she wouldn't have needed WLS??

BrandyII, please go and talk to your band surgeon. Sometimes the placement is off, but it might be hard to get them to admit that.

One of my friends was banded by the Dr. who helped invent the band, and she had to have rebanding, and now is doing beautifully after many years of struggling.

Good Luck (and know you are not alone)

Cookie

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I hope we have moved on from the tell BrandyII how weak she is thread. After reading all those posts I was so disgusted I just turned off the computer and thought about how self righteous people can be. Telling her to go and knit or make sure she has a great exercise program, or worse yet "make those great choices" is

despicable.

If the people who made those comments could do that themselves they surely would not have needed a band or any WLS.

I belong to a support group for bandsters with about 200 folks, and there are many of us in many shapes and sizes and at different places in our journeys. Our main goal is to be supportive and cheer on the people we have this band bond with.

Never have I heard this type of bashing in all my years banded.

Here's the thing, if you have proper adjustments you will not feel hunger and cravings. Not EVERYONE can get to that point. And the struggle is the same as BEFORE you were banded, get it?? Can you remember how you felt?

But to heap shame on those that have tried everything plus, is just plain ignorant.

Take it from me we have enough shame, guilt, etc. We came here to say how we feel, not needing an "it's ok", but not needed crap like I am giving you tough love either, what a crock of crap.

Why didn't that tough love, knitting, exercising work for you all?

You should be ashamed of kicking someone when they are down. I hope you never find yourself in that spot and have these rotten things written to you.

Give someone a "kick in the butt", are you kidding me? Maybe whoever wrote that should have done that to herself and then she wouldn't have needed WLS??

BrandyII, please go and talk to your band surgeon. Sometimes the placement is off, but it might be hard to get them to admit that.

One of my friends was banded by the Dr. who helped invent the band, and she had to have rebanding, and now is doing beautifully after many years of struggling.

Good Luck (and know you are not alone)

Cookie

Cookie...

All your feetie stomping is without merit in my book. Tough love did work for me, thankfully others cared enough about me to call me on my stuff and make me realize what I was doing.

Go ahead, pat someone on the head for poor choices. We all have our own way of supporting another, you have yours... doesn't make it any better than ours.

[Froggi 4]

I love me some brandy She is my buddy.

And yes Bjean does know big words I do too but i dont use them often LOL I'd rather look dumb.

And yes Bjean does have a lot of patience. Something I wish I had.