Come out of the band failure closet!

[lizzy h 0]

Brandy I feel as though we are fast friends and seem to share so many similar thoughts...I have even considered trying to see if I qualify for the RNY now????....and good luck to your daughter.....Life is for living and it is loads easier to do when you fit in the plane and movie theatre seat. I think it is great that at 19 your daughter is taking control and she will not waste months and years battling the buldge

[brandyII 9]

Thanks Lizzy, I appreciate it. Of course I'm still worried but I'm trying to think positive thoughts. I should go to bed now so I can be awake tomorrow. Thanks again, Nancy.

[sdbeachmom 1]

Thanks so much for the info on the ticker

you are so sweet!

[brandyII 9]

I'll say prayers for your daughter and you, My daughter had it years ago and is doing great, I should have had that I think, then I just would not have been able to eat!

Patti

Thanks Patti,

She seems to be doing well, first night but has a pain pump and I'm hoping she'll do well through the night. Left her sleeping around 9 and will go back tomorrow and help her get up and do that walking thing! She has an upper GI also to make sure no leaks, anyway thanks for sharing, there seem to be a couple of us who have the lap band and our daughters have the RNY! Go figure, thanks brandyII. We raised smarter kids?

[Numbrgirl 0]

Granted I am just a newbie that has experienced definite satisfaction and success - but as I travel over this board I am continually stunned, amazed and puzzled to find individuals lamenting that they "didn't think it was going to be hard" or "they thought the band would do this or that" when clearly all of the literature I read and the forms I signed indicated that it was totally dependent on MY actions. The band is a tool that is a constant reminder to me to take responsibility for these decisions and I am relieved to say it has removed my fixation on food. So instead of making excuses and justifying bad habits, I now plan my day and do my best to incorporate both a good menu selection and adequate exercise. I love the posts from WASA and WCFG. I have printed them out so I can read over them as I continue on this journey. I simply don't want to carry around this amount of weight anymore and NOTHING will Detour from this goal.

[brandyII 9]

Numbrgirl,

It's funny how different people are especially when it comes to the band.

I am the type of person that when I know I have to diet, which on the band I still have to diet I then become fixated on food. I become fixated because I know I'm only allow a certain amount, a certain type, and basically any rule that goes with the "tool".

If you are not fixated on food anymore then this "tool" must be working for you in the correct way or maybe you are the correct person to use this tool. I tend to gain weight when I am fixated on food which happens during times of stress and also during times of diet which in itself can be a time of stress.

I'm not attacking you by all means even though I have used bold and italics in my post. I'm basically commenting and relating my situation to you post. I'm kind of coming to terms with my own progress/failure/journey and I think the fact that I've yo yo'd for so long and my metabolism is so bad that I have to take into consideration the fact that I'm not doing myself any good anymore by this "dieting" and self hatred I've been doing since I've been banded.

[Numbrgirl 0]

I appreciate your response.

For me it is like WASA said - it is no longer a diet but becoming a way of life. I feel especially blessed to have the opportunity to use this tool to finally put away this life of obesity. Sometimes we as humans get so set in our ways and bad habits that suddenly everything turns us towards a "victim mentality" and that very thought process keeps us imprisoned. I don't mean to be harsh when saying this because I have directed it to myself as well - from the outside looking in it just appears to be a bunch of excuses (too much stress, dieting is hard, exercise doesn't work, etc.) It is unfortunate that food has such a hold on society and seemingly brings so much false comfort.

I have to make this work so I can continue to travel the world with my husband, take a more physically active role with my growing pre-teen daughter and because the joints in my knees are simply refusing to carry me anymore. These things are all infinitely more important to me than anything I could ever shove in my mouth and obtain some temporary happiness or comfort from.

When I had my pysche evaluation the doctor was kind enough to give me some feedback before I left. I had to do the ink blot test and look at other pictures, give some feedback, outcomes, etc. We talked a lot. Nothing out of the unusual that I was aware of. Just me. At the end of the session he told me that the some of my answers and reactions gave him the indication that I was ready to make a change and there was some growth churning in me that hadn't previously made it to the surface. That clicked with me - not only in my final, drastic attempt to find some relief to the weight - but in a few other areas and ventures I have been undertaking in my life.

I sincerely hope that anyone struggling in ways that are mentioned on this thread will be able to find peace and strength to finally make a difference in their lives.

[brandyII 9]

I guess I don't react well to the phrase "it's not a diet but a way of life or a life change" I still have problems with that because it doesn't give specifics. Some people can say that but they're actually following a diet plan and they've been able to make it a part of their life their new way of life.

Others cannot function that way so for me I need specifics. If I were to tell myself I have to follow A, B and C in order to lose weight I would do A and then say screw B and C goes down the toilet.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the only one who doesn't function well but when I'm told I can't eat chocolate today I will focus on how the hell I'm going to get chocolate. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. That's why for me right now I have to just accept myself as I am and see what beauty comes with it with out restricting myself. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband and children and some great siblings so a great life isn't that too far off.

[Numbrgirl 0]

Good that you can recognize the good with the not-so-good.

We all have obstacles to overcome in life. In trying to do the right thing and making mistakes along the way - I am reminded of the scriptures that says "I don't do the things I know I should and do the things I know I shouldn't" I guess this is what is a lifestyle change for me - when I start to go down that path - I have to make a conscious and sometimes forceful choice to make myself go in another direction. It is difficult no doubt about it.

[JaimeSTL 4]

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the only one who doesn't function well but when I'm told I can't eat chocolate today I will focus on how the hell I'm going to get chocolate. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. That's why for me right now I have to just accept myself as I am and see what beauty comes with it with out restricting myself. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband and children and some great siblings so a great life isn't that too far off.

Earlier in the thread you said you'd get RNY if you don't lose weight. How will you cope with wanting chocolate then since you can't eat it or you'll dump? Why not just eat a small piece of chocolate and curb the craving.

I have to agree with the others who have said that it seems like people are looking for an easy way out. With any weight loss method, you are going to have to do some of the work.

[Jachut 487]

I'm not a good dieter, I simply cannot count calories, stay within limits, eliiminate certain foods. I'm like you, it makes me obsessed and I gain weight, I eat even MORE. So I took what I had to work with - my fitness and athleticism. I've worked VERY hard on that score to make up for my refusal to do the Protein Shake 800 calorie a day thing. Its all calories in v calories out and if you must eat them, then you must exercise more. And not a walk on the treadmill either, HARD and LONG exercise. My food and calorie restrictions were way less harsh than a lot and I lost weight really pretty slowly as a result - but I did get there.

You do have that choice too and in many ways, eating what the heck you want to eat, working to get good restriction with your band, and focussing perhaps on the physical expenditure of calories may bring you the results you want, rather than trying to "starve them off". It's certainly the way I prefer to tackle things, becuase I dont consider 800 calories a day half made up of Protein Shakes a lifestyle I could maintain.

[Keywestgirl 0]

I was here on LBT when a super moderator recommended a young woman to watch this videoblog of another young woman who had gastric bypass. melting mama: Do I regret my gastric bypass? However the woman looks absolutely amazing now, she suffers from a lot of nasty side effects, seizures, etc. She goes in great detail in her daily blogs and her you tube videos. After reading her blog, it sounds like almost all sugar for her is a big no-no. Kind of a harsh trade off. What exactly is normalcy? Obesity? Reconstructed intestines? Side effects?

But as stated by the person above this, any diet or weightloss surgery still takes dedication and hard work. I have an acquaintance who has had bypass, and she lost quite a bit at first, but gained quite a bit back. She also traded one addiction for another. She drinks more because the bypass allows her to get intoxicated faster. She smokes more now that she goes to more bars. I don't think she has addressed the reason why she turned to food for comfort in the first place. Bands and bypasses do not fix the problems and traumas which we suffer, unfortunately.

Having been an obese child into my teen years, to adult, I can identify with feelings of desperation to do anything to get this weight off, no matter what the cost. Whatever it is we choose, I just wish nothing but success and happiness for all of us. I am tired of passing up opportunities and declining invitations because of my weight. I just want to start living. Good Luck everyone.

[brandyII 9]

Earlier in the thread you said you'd get RNY if you don't lose weight. How will you cope with wanting chocolate then since you can't eat it or you'll dump? Why not just eat a small piece of chocolate and curb the craving.

I have to agree with the others who have said that it seems like people are looking for an easy way out. With any weight loss method, you are going to have to do some of the work.

Well eating a little piece of chocolate may not do it for me, I have certain trigger foods that I just can't keep in the house. It may have something to do with my hormones during times of the month or my antidepressants or just my makeup.

If you can function that way that's wonderful but not everyone is that strong for many reasons. I don't know if I would get an RNY at this point in my life now anyway and it's not proven whether or not everyone has dumping syndrome. There's is the malabsorption aspect to it that helps with weight loss and some do get dumping syndrome which supposedly is not something that one enjoys.

If you are the type of person that eats a whole lot of food and have restriction with the lap band then it should work fine for you. If on the other hand you have a really slow metabolism after years of yo yo dieting and are at a certain age and have other issues that may affect how successful you will be on the band it may not work as well. I don't know how to explain it any better but not everyone will do well on the band whether or not you want to say they are not doing enough of the work is up to you to decide????

[brandyII 9]

I'm not a good dieter, I simply cannot count calories, stay within limits, eliiminate certain foods. I'm like you, it makes me obsessed and I gain weight, I eat even MORE. So I took what I had to work with - my fitness and athleticism. I've worked VERY hard on that score to make up for my refusal to do the Protein Shake 800 calorie a day thing. Its all calories in v calories out and if you must eat them, then you must exercise more. And not a walk on the treadmill either, HARD and LONG exercise. My food and calorie restrictions were way less harsh than a lot and I lost weight really pretty slowly as a result - but I did get there.

You do have that choice too and in many ways, eating what the heck you want to eat, working to get good restriction with your band, and focussing perhaps on the physical expenditure of calories may bring you the results you want, rather than trying to "starve them off". It's certainly the way I prefer to tackle things, becuase I dont consider 800 calories a day half made up of Protein Shakes a lifestyle I could maintain.

You know I really understand where you're coming from you remind me of my two brothers who are in their fifties and exercise because it allows them to eat what they want, not that they eat junk but they burn so many calories with their fitness routines they have to feed their bodies more food every day.

But it's also a passion for them and actually always has been since they were young. One races bikes and one runs and will run marathons and both have or do teach martial arts. I've never had that passion and probably never will. I can find passion in walking but not running I'm not built for that and even when I was thin I hated it! I like hiking things like but I'm not a competitor not even within myself if you catch my drift.

I know it would be easier if I could do it that way but I just don't want to. But the focus on the diet thing has screwed me up not just now, since I've been banded but even before that. It's very mental and more so now. I'm trying to eat normal and not think about it as being on a diet so I don't go overboard to try to feed the angry beast! I'm going to at least try and I'm going to go to a new Lap Band support group that my surgeon's office is starting this Monday and they're focusing on psychological issues and addictions so I think/hope it will benefit me.

Anyway I applaud you because I know it's not easy what you're doing but I just can't be as passionate about that aspect as you and a lot of people are. Thanks Nancy.

[Fanny Adams 7]

Good luck with the support group and the new focus, Brandy! I hope that works out well for you.