Come out of the band failure closet!

[brandyII 9]

I think we need a section for psychological issues with the band. I also interpret the complications section as a section for those with "mechanical" complications. I guess maybe this could have been posted in the lounge? Maybe then it would be more likely to be viewed by people having the same issues. Alot of members steer clear of this section when coming to this forum for support.

You're right Jasmine, I think I have to figure out how to get a separate section for those types of issues, anyone know how?

[taz 2]

I don't know, Brandy. When you find out please let me know it exists. Thanks.

Tina

[anonemouse 1]

I think I was a bit bitchy to you and I'm sorry! I know you've come really far and have information that you'd like to share too and have also had problems and I didn't mean to shut you out of this thread. I can relate to that soda story because my daughter who is getting the bypass on the 27th has been "perfect" on her liquid diet for the past 4 or 5 weeks and lost 32 pounds so far. But she has been cooking up a storm for everyone else and on Mothers Day made the family a gourmet meal which was fairly healthy until the "dessert" which I did eat but had made more portions etc... and I knew if I didn't throw them away I would eat them! So I've had to throw out food just to keep myself from eating it. I've even had to throw away Weight Watchers Desserts because they're pretty much as bad as anything else if you're way too tempted.

I'm hoping my metformin might help me with my cravings and I can turn this thing around. I lost 25 pounds before the surgery you'd think I could do that again! I hate not wearing my button jeans! Sometimes stress makes me work in the wrong direction and most of my stressors will be gone soon so I hope I can focus on getting back on track, thanks brandyII.

Oh, no problem! I realize that this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people, and I probably wasn't as sensitive as I should have been with my first post.

And see, you DO have willpower. If you didn't, you wouldn't have thrown that food away! Kudos to you for doing that! This whole journey is easiest if we just take it a few steps at a time, and that was a great step to take. :thumbdown:

[anonemouse 1]

You're right Jasmine, I think I have to figure out how to get a separate section for those types of issues, anyone know how?

I think Alex would probably be very enthusiastic about making another forum. Maybe make a thread in the Questions forum or PM him directly, I'm not sure which would be fastest.

[brandyII 9]

Laurend, thanks, I'll look into that. Nancy

Edited May 18, 2008 by brandyII

[brandyII 9]

Wasa,

You are so wrong about this!!!!!!!! I'm just kidding. No, you're right and I do have issues with the white stuff. I've known people who went to OA and that was the main thing they had to do was give up white carbs. I was never the eat a loaf of bread person, but I could eat a loaf of cup cakes or a loaf of anything sweet and by the way, they don't fit down a straw, so we know there are a lot of foods that still go down easily although I could put them in a straw it would take longer to eat that way and maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea!

You should preach more on the white carb thing, everyone has their weak points and some are luckier that the band catches theirs but not mine! I read your whole post and it was very long but I still read the whole thing and if you could post top ten points from that book as a guideline for us including the 20 mgs of carbs. If you're going off white carbs I guess these are from whole grains and fruits?

So anyway if you could write down some guideline when you get a chance and post it that would be helpful to me and to the other bandsters who have similar issues, thanks for your help, Nancy.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

You should preach more on the white carb thing, everyone has their weak points and some are luckier that the band catches theirs but not mine! I read your whole post and it was very long but I still read the whole thing and if you could post top ten points from that book as a guideline for us including the 20 mgs of carbs. If you're going off white carbs I guess these are from whole grains and fruits?

So anyway if you could write down some guideline when you get a chance and post it that would be helpful to me and to the other bandsters who have similar issues, thanks for your help, Nancy.

Nahhh.... It took long enough to write. ;o) If you want to do that you are free to do so.

[brandyII 9]

I don't know, Brandy. When you find out please let me know it exists. Thanks.

Tina

We're trying to get something started for people who are struggling with the band and I don't know yet if it will be a new forum or a social group but hopefully will know in the near future, Nancy:smile:

[brandyII 9]

I think Alex would probably be very enthusiastic about making another forum. Maybe make a thread in the Questions forum or PM him directly, I'm not sure which would be fastest.

I requested something from Alex about some new lap band struggle (non-mechanical) forum so we'll see what he can come up with, thanks Nancy :thumbdown:.

[Keywestgirl 0]

Hey Laurend......you have put up some terrific numbers. I read the dates you accomplished your mini goals, that's impressive. I have stalled after week 3 postop. Swelling is down and I have absolutely no restriction. I caught a postings about the bodybugg by CChristys. I just got back from 24 hour fitness (which I am now a member) where I bought the bugg. It is actually on sale. See 24 hour fitness.com $49 off and another $25 off the digital watch to see immediately what you are burning without updating the computer. I read this was so helpful to break through plateaus when u see exactly how much you have to burn to meet your defecit for the day. You tell the bug how much u want to lose that week, input your food for the day, and it will tell you what u have to burn for that day to meet that weight loss goal. It's what they wore on biggest loser on their arms. Very excited. Hey Laurend- were you totally consistant on your fills. How much do u have in your band? Thanks Alice:wink2:

[anonemouse 1]

Hey Laurend......you have put up some terrific numbers. I read the dates you accomplished your mini goals, that's impressive. I have stalled after week 3 postop. Swelling is down and I have absolutely no restriction. I caught a postings about the bodybugg by CChristys. I just got back from 24 hour fitness (which I am now a member) where I bought the bugg. It is actually on sale. See 24 hour fitness.com $49 off and another $25 off the digital watch to see immediately what you are burning without updating the computer. I read this was so helpful to break through plateaus when u see exactly how much you have to burn to meet your defecit for the day. You tell the bug how much u want to lose that week, input your food for the day, and it will tell you what u have to burn for that day to meet that weight loss goal. It's what they wore on biggest loser on their arms. Very excited. Hey Laurend- were you totally consistant on your fills. How much do u have in your band? Thanks Alice:wink2:

I have the 4cc Inamed/Allergan band. I got 1.8 ccs with my first fill, got another .5 at my second fill two weeks later, and another .5 at my third (about 2.5 months after the 2nd fill). I think that's what I got, anyway. I can never keep it straight in my head, lol. I had hardly any restriction with the first fill, but seemingly hit my sweet spot with the second one. At least, until I lost enough weight that it loosened up. The third fill was rather tight at first, but I'm very happy with it now. I sure learned the hard way to stay away from bready things, though! PBed for the first and only time ever on a bite of pizza and spent 3 1/2 hours in absolute pain. It's really amazing how knowing that you'll be in extreme pain will break a carb addiction!

Whenever you plateau, it always helps to evaluate what you're doing and maybe change it up a little bit. Do a food/calorie log on Calorie Counter, Diet Tracking, Food Journal, Nutrition Facts at The Daily Plate (or a similar site), change up your exercise routine, maybe vary your calorie intake (some days go lower, some days higher) etc.

When I regained some weight (due to drinking those really high calorie cream sodas), I never changed my ticker, because it was a reminder of where I wanted to be. I sure got sick of seeing that number, though, and knowing that I either still hadn't gotten down to it again or that I was stuck there. But, it was a motivator, because I wanted to see the darn thing change! And it finally is, thankfully!

[brandyII 9]

I don't know if anyone actually uses social groups but it was suggested that I place my forum there and have opened one called "lap band strugglers" if anyone is interested. It's kind of an out of the way, hidden place, underground even and so I don't know if it will be used but just wanted people to know, thanks brandyII.

[taz 2]

I will try finding it. Maybe being out of the way is a good thing.

[ReadySteadyGo 8]

Don't get mad at WCFG people, he is just telling it like it is. Godspeed everyone, we are all on this journey together.

I would never be "mad" at him. But he is "telling it like it is" for HIMself only, not for me, not for anyone else. You might have similar experiences here, but we all not the same. Noone hear is going through my EXACT situation. I am happy for him and what he says makes sense, but it's not the end all.

I respect what he says, and for certain individuals it might ring true, maybe for most people...but perhaps not for everyone.

I do love the idea of the support for the pyschological issues. I would think that some of us have psychological issues. Then again there are some of us that are missing that "full" signal. Whatever. I digress. My point is we are all going through different things at this time, and who am I to say that someone is not doing all they can physically, or mentally, do or judge them for it?

All I can do is pray for them in their struggles and hope that things get better for anyone having problems with the band or with their own selves and wish for things to go better for you in the future.

Edited May 20, 2008 by ReadySteadyGo
fixing it :-)

[WestCoastFatGuy 3]

I would never be "mad" at him. But he is "telling it like it is" for HIMself only, not for me, not for anyone else. You might have similar experiences here, but we all not the same. Noone hear is going through my EXACT situation. I am happy for him and what he says makes sense, but it's not the end all.

I respect what he says, and for certain individuals it might ring true, maybe for most people...but perhaps not for everyone.

I do love the idea of the support for the pyschological issues. I would think that some of us have psychological issues. Then again there are some of us that are missing that "full" signal. Whatever. I digress. My point is we are all going through different things at this time, and who am I to say that someone is not doing all they can physically, or mentally, do or judge them for it?

All I can do is pray for them in their struggles and hope that things get better for anyone having problems with the band or with their own selves and wish for things to go better for you in the future.

You know what? I admit that I came across harsh on my first message.. but I layed out my heart and soul on the second. For someone to say that I "tell it like it is" for "HIMself" only.. is patently offensive. For your information, I sent a PM to Brandy and shared with her how sorry I am if I have hurt her from my post. Brandy has a VERY unique set of circumstances that MOST, if not ALMOST ALL, lapbanders will never encounter. I won't share with you what she shared with me as it is her personal choice if she chooses to do so on an open forum.

Here's the the straight up reality.. whether you like it or not or BJ (who told me to "zip it" likes it or not).... Brandy brings to the table a huge huge set of almost insurmountable circumstances to her experience with the band. Her courage to even get the band in the first place... is sooooo amazing to me. She chose to fight through almost impossible odds to be successful with the band. Unfortunately, there are many many many MANY people (I don't know if you are one of those people or not... only you can look inside and know) who will look on the surface of her experience with the band and say "The band isn't working for me"... "I'm able to eat around my band"... "I don't feel full after I eat"... blah blah blah. You know what????!!!??? I DON'T FEEL FULL AFTER I EAT EITHER! I've had ONE fill and it CERTAINLY hasn't taken me ANYWHERE NEAR my sweet spot! But I KNEW from all my research and ESPECIALLY at lapbandtalk.com... that that might be the situation that I would face. But people like wasabubblebut and my dear dear lapband friend gilliebean have kept me going.

I WISH my lapband would give me the flashing light that I AM FULL! I WISH my lapband would keep me from wanting to eat things that are bad for me! I WISH my lapband would make me feel better about myself when I crave things I shouldn't have! But you know what? DO YOU?!? I LISTENED when others on the boards told me that life with the lapband wasn't easy. I LISTENED when they told me that the band MAY NOT provide the blessed restriction that I sought! I LISTENED and I ACCEPTED that my lapband couldn't provide my the salvation that I interally sought.

I am very very very aware that there are a select few people like the very sincere Brandy II who decided to go with the band against impossible odds. Those people are forever in my heart and my prayers that hopefully their band will start to work for them. Unfortunately, there are tooooo tooo toooo MANY banders who try to say to themselves that THEY are in the SAME situation as Brandy II and LIE to themselves. They THINK because they self-payed thousands of dollars that that PROVES that they were dedicated to working their band. I'm sorry... but it just doesn't. Maybe I will fail even more tomorrow than I did last week. Maybe I won't lose everything I hope to with my band. But that doesn't mean that the band failed ME! I DON'T have all the pre-existing symptoms that Brandy II has to deal with. And MOST don't! In fact, MOST surgeons wouldn't have banded Brandy II in the first place. But her surgeon chose to take a chance and to give her a chance to try to make it work. I hope and pray, as she does, that it does eventually work. But don't you DARE put me down and say that I am ONLY speaking for myself! You have crossed the line.... and WHOEVER flames me for this has CLEARLY not read my past posts (which are numerous) or HAVE ANY IDEA of who I am!

I am not a HARD*SS! I am probably the most compassionate person you'll ever meet! I nursed my dying father ALONE from the time I was 14 until he died when I was 18... wondering everyday if that day (or night) was going to be his last. Wondering in my heart if he would ever even be able to see my graduate from High School. Bolting straight up from a dead sleep to his cries in the night that he couldn't breathe. That his heart was racing... that he needed nitro-gylcerin... or needed his oxygen machine cranked up.. or needed his breathing line drained because the condensation was making him feel as though he was drowining. I KNOW what pain is! I KNOW what sacrifice is! Nursing one my dearest friends in the world from the day he was diagnosed with HIV until his eventual painful haunting death of AIDS... looking at his dead body in his bed knowing that I could no longer do ANYTHING to bring him back... to give him one more day... to hold him and hug and him and tell him one more time that he was loved by me and soooo many other people.

I ALSO know what it is to latch onto someone else's completely-justifiable pain at not achieving success and convincing yourself that you are experiencing the same thing when you haven't actually experienced an IOTA of their REAL pain and agony.

I don't know your story... and I'm not trying to judge you.. but don't you DARE judge ME! You don't KNOW the pain I've gone through and you don't KNOW the sacrifices I'VE made to get where I am.

Brandy II and all the others experiencing the same agonizing pain and hurt.... I think about you and pray for you daily. NOONE deserves what you have felt and what you are going through. I would do ANYTHING to take away your pain. Because I don't have that power.. I can only say.. that I will stand by you through thick and thin. Success or not.... to remind you that YOU are INCREDIBLE. That YOU are WORTH IT. Even if you NEVER lose a pound or you GAIN another 100 pounds... you are STILL AMAZING people and NO ONE (including me) should EVER try to make you feel LESS that that!