Assholes

[Kat817 19]

Yep--------I think you lost a huge amount of negativity!! Life is too short to surround yourself with people who are not supportive. I think that at this point, they have taken the decision out of your hands, and that Pix's reply would be ideal.

If you are doing this with a Dr.'s support, and are doing well with it, then by all means ignore the threats of these jealous women.

Now keep in mind, in their sugar induced states of mind, they may totally believe in what they are doing too----same as you do!! They might not be doing it out of vindictiveness, but out of what they see as concern. What would it take to make them see things as they really are, as opposed to seeing them through the lard haze----I have no idea! Just mentioning, if you always thought them good friends, then just close the door, don't lock it---it might take health issues for another of them, before any of them see the light.

I have one friend who is non supportive---but only in the way that she refuses to acknowledge I have done anything. She was hateful as hell about me having surgery, TOLD me not to do it---like she makes my choices!!! I really think she thought I would abide by what she said! NOT! Now we are nowhere near as close. We used to speak 4-5 times a week, now it is every 4-5 weeks. And she never mentions it at all. Over 100 pounds, and I am healthy, and not a word! If she was continually speaking of it in a negative manner, I would just end the friendship. As it is, we catch up on our kids, and family, and odds and ends, and that is it!

Another so called friend lied to me----outright to my face lied to me, and is now living with my ex husband. I could deal with that, although I would hate to admit to having a friend that stupid!! But lying was the kicker-----it ended up putting my child in the line of fire---I have ignored all apologies, and pleas for continuation of the friendship---it is over. Hurt me, I might consider it, mess with my kid, and you are lucky to be breathing!

Everyone has to draw their own lines----figure out what you can deal with, and what you want out of the friendship....

As has been said Opinions are like Assholes....and most of them stink, you don't need theirs!!

Kat

[Fanny Adams 7]

They emailed you with that crap in writing??? Kick 'em to the curb, mate, they're not worth it!!

[MerryHearted 20]

Wow Angelica -- I know it hurts to lose friends - or to discover that people you thought were friends aren't, and to have people treat you this way.

Here's hoping you will have a new set of supportive friends soon to take their place, and that you'll forgive your old ones. I won't be surprised if at least one of them hits bottom and ends up in the WLS camp themselves.

[Daisalana 33]

Wow, cutting you out till you get your eating disorder fixed. Sounds like some real winners for friends you got there.

Time to find some new friends!!!!!!

And kudos on the raw diet, I know I couldn't do it. Reminds me of being a vegetarian, which I couldn't do either.

I still don't get the mentality of losing friends as you lose weight. I never had any friends judge me or say anything negative about me getting WLS, they were all 100% supportive. Maybe the only difference is, I am the fattest of all my friends, so no one is jealous of me? Only thing I can think of, because when I hear people talk about their friends cutting them off, talking bad, trying to talk them out of it, etc.. I am just baffled.

[Angelica 1]

heh, the latest installment of Angelica drama for the week, now, one of the ladies that got together and talked about me having an eating disorder is sending me text messages asking me for the name of my doctor, and if he performs the gastric bypass..

dun dun dunnnnn, geez, wonders will never cease

[Marimaru 7]

If I got a message like that from a 'friend' who'd just admitted getting together with other 'friends' to talk about how sick I am and how they aren't going to talk to me until I'm "better" (read: fat again), I don't know how I'd react. The nice person in me says I would ignore her, the vindictive tiny part of me (that almost never gets to act out, it only gets to tell me what I "should have done"), says I would respond and ask her something like why she would talk about what an eating disorder I have, and then turn around and ask me to help her get the same eating disorder.

I can kind of see how someone would think of the band as force bulimia, IF you are PBing all the time and should probably be seeing your doctor anyway, but as a normal way of life? It's a hell of a lot healthier than not doing anything at all.

I went through a lot of drama stuff with my last set of friends, and after that point I never really put forth the effort to make any more. I have TONS of online friends that I talk to every day, but I don't have anyone that I hang out with in real life, and to be frank, I don't miss having friends very often.

[PennyLane 0]

It sounds to me like your friends are worried that you will actually achieve success and leave them behind, trapped into their obese bodies and repeating patterns of dieting and failure.

I think that there is no denying that the raw foods diet is a far healthier way to eat, in comparison to a diet of highly processed foods. However, I think the concept behind the raw foods diet, that man has not evolved to eat a diet that included cooked foods, is incorrect. The history of fire in human evolution goes back about 1 to 1.5 million years and even the most conservative estimites agree that cooking food was a widespread human behaviour at least 125,000 years ago. This is more than enough time for our bodies to adapt to cooked food in our diets. Here's some interesting reading on the subject: When was fire first controlled by human beings? and Timeline of dietary shifts in the human line of evolution.

If the raw foods diet is working for you and is making you feel healthier and satisfied with your food choices, the more power to you - go for it! Personally, I think it is simply enough to cut out the overprocessed foods (such as refined flours and canned/prepared meals) and include plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables in with our cooked (from fresh!) meals.

I couldn't agree more, and that's what I was going to chime in to say. If you're happy and healthy on the raw food thing, by all means stick with it! But, I really think that the health benefits are coming largely from the fresh, non-processed nature of the food, not the raw nature (although this surely contributes--Vitamins are lost from veggies in the cooking process although some heat is needed to "unlock" nutrients from leafy greens--otherwise it's mainly roughage).

Personally, my plan for this summer is to get at least 75% of my food from within 100 miles of my house, meaning from local farms and things--that pretty much automatically means fresh, non-processed, in-season, (usually) organically grown and raised fruit, veggies, meat and dairy.

The 25% is for things that are difficult to control--olive oil, for one, baking soda for another (I use that mainly for home cleaning purposes though) and the occasional splurge on a mango, avocado or fancy French cheese . I hope to learn how to preserve and can things at home so that I can save for winter! It's good for you, good for the local economy, and good for the environment!

Edited May 7, 2008 by PennyLane
clairification of the 100 mile thing

[Angelica 1]

I completely agree, Penny.

I think flooding you system with an abundance of food that is not processed or turned into a frankenfood before you eat it is where we can all acheive alot of health benefits.

As far as the local food thing, I am so lucky, I get all sorts of good stuff around here, and the produce, because I am so close to the Mexican border (I'm talking, I could be in Mexico in 10 minutes) means really affordable produce. Having said that, if you do get your produce from Mexico that grows on the ground, it MUST be washed like crazy, because they use human fertilizer, which is kinda gross.

I hear people talking about Avacados, and how expensive they are, we get them for 33 cents a pound down here! If you invest in a good coffee grinder and dehydrator, you can make almost all of your spices yourself,

Garlic, onion powder, just throw the onion or garlic in the food dehydrator, and once its super dry, grind it up in your coffee grind. You'd be surprized at how many ways you can save quite a bit of money, and have your food taste much better too. Bottled spices and powders taste like woodchips to me now.

-A

[laurenwhite82 0]

It is terrible what your "friends" did to you. They cant look past their own insecurities enough to support you so you dont need em! On another note, has the diet helped your lupus (blood work and stuff)? Also, did you know you had lupus before you were banded and have you had any problems due to being banded with it? Congrats on your success so far and it sounds like you are doing great. I am originally from Texas too, but north Texas....a looooong way away from El Paso!

[Ribbons Undone 0]

One of my favorite Snacks is a big fat garden Tomato (don't worry, I live in Europe) and a cucumber. My band loves it and I love it. :confused_smile: I think you're doing a great job and your friends are insecure. Tell em to straighten up or you're getting new ones.

How's the raw diet coming along? :crying: